That evening, after everything had been cleaned up and the group of musicians was standing together in a small circle, discussing their set and what they'd like to change in the future, Kurt-who'd been standing off to the side, doing his best to stay out of the way-approached them tentatively, placing a hand lightly on Blaine's shoulder so as not to disturb the man. He just wanted to let him know he was there.
"Go the hell away!" Eli ordered as soon as he saw him standing there. "This meeting is for band members only. You certainly are not part of that."
There was a collective groan from around the circle and a reverberating, "Shut the fuck up, Eli!" before Blaine turned to face Kurt.
"What's up?" he mumbled. "We're almost done here, and then I want to go straight back to the hotel."
"That's fine. I-I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to ask if we could go somewhere private later. I really need to talk to you."
"You're staying in my room tonight, so we can talk there?" Blaine offered, giving him a small smile. He actually had something he wanted to ask Kurt about as well, so that would be perfect.
"Okay," Kurt replied, smiling back. "I'll, um, I'll just go wait over here until you're done."
"No. You can stay. Eli doesn't make our decisions for us." Blaine glanced around at the other four boys to be sure they didn't mind, and no one made a move to send him away. So, Blaine pulled him a little bit closer as he looked around the group. "So, as we were saying, we need to find a different closing song for our next set. Not enough of our fans were into Ride for me to be comfortable with continuing with it there. We could move it up. And, I want to move Teenage Dream from second to last to three or four numbers before our last song."
"So, are you just going to point out the problems, or are you going to find some solutions?" Eli grouched.
"For tonight, no one is coming up with any solutions. I'm dead tired and want to go back to the hotel." He eyed Eli meaningfully, hoping the rest of the group picked up on his silent communication. "So, you all can go over to that little pub you were talking about, but Kurt and I are heading to the hotel."
"Are you guys like a thing or something?" Eli asked. "He's like a leech on you."
"Shut the fuck up," Blaine told him, grabbing Kurt's arm and guiding him away as the rest of the group forced Eli to calm down. "Ignore him," he told Kurt. "He's just trying to be an ass."
"It would seem that's what he's always trying to do," Kurt commented as the two of them made their way outside.
"You've got him pegged!" Stepping up onto the first stair of their tour bus, Blaine turned toward him. "I've just got to grab a couple of things. Then, there's a car waiting to take us to our hotel. Do you need anything off the bus?"
"My bags," Kurt said, following him up.
It wasn't long before the two of them were pulling up to the rear entrance of the hotel. Their security guys had already come and checked in for them, and Blaine learned from his driver that David was already standing outside his hotel room door, 452, to let them in.
Despite being absolutely exhausted, Blaine insisted that they take the stairs up to the fourth floor to avoid being seen as much as possible. He didn't want to be caught in the hallway taking photos which had apparently happened in the past.
When David opened the door to their room, Blaine immediately dropped his bags and flung himself onto the bed, spreading out like a starfish, arms and legs dangling in every direction. "Oh my God, that feels good," he mumbled into the mattress. "You should come lay down, too."
Being far gentler than Blaine, Kurt set his bags down by the door and came to perch tentatively on the edge of the bed with Blaine.
"Lay down. Lay down," the singer urged, tugging on Kurt's arm. He made a happy little noise when Kurt complied, leaning back against the pillows. Blaine immediately scrambled up the bed to lean into his side, resting his head against his shoulder and wrapping an arm loosely across his stomach. He sighed happily. "I could fall asleep right here."
Kurt smiled down at him, running one hand gently through his messy curls. He didn't even mind that Blaine had been a sweaty mess earlier. He liked the feel of his hair against his fingertips, and if the happy little humming sounds coming from the other man were any indication, so did Blaine. "Can we talk now?" Kurt asked gently after a few minutes of petting.
"What's up?"
"Well, while I was backstage at your show, I was… Well, I was kinda wondering… What's everyone going to think when they find out what happened between us today? You know the little hearts starting to show up by our soulmarks that probably mean we're…" He didn't say the word. It was too sacred yet, too new for just throwing the word around willy nilly. It was silly, he knew, because if a heart started showing on your skin, right next to your soulmark, the two of you were destined, meant to be. There was really no point to avoiding it, but neither of them seemed comfortable with admitting exactly what they were to one another. Not quite yet.
"Who exactly are you worried about? The guys won't mind, an-"
"Not even Eli? He seems pissed that I'm even around."
"That's actually...There was something I wanted to talk to you about," Blaine told him, twisting himself around a little bit so he could make eye contact with Kurt while still keeping his ear over his chest. "Do you play an instrument?"
"I play a little bit of piano, but I mostly play guitar. Why?"
"Well," Blaine snorted, "that's actually a lot more perfect than I thought."
"What is?"
"Well, if Eli leaves the band, you could join and be our bassist."
Kurt just gave Blaine a blank stare. "What?"
"Didn't you hear me?" he asked, sitting up a little bit straighter. "You could be our bassist if Eli leaves the band. You could take his spot and be part of Warbler Attack. Wouldn't that be awesome?"
Unable to say anything, Kurt just looked away, tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes.
"Did I say something wrong?" Blaine asked. "Don't you want to be in the band?"
"It's not that," Kurt managed to get out, his voice cracking. "It's not you."
"Then…?"
"It's dumb."
"Not if it's making you cry. Please tell me?"
Kurt nodded, taking his time to wipe his face free of tears and sniff away all the snot that was threatening to leave his nose. Then, he glanced down at Blaine's worried face, which was hovering just above his shoulder now, and giggled, the sound wet and dampened by his tears. "You don't have to be so worried, you know," he pointed out.
"You were crying after I gave you what I thought would be good news! I'm very worried."
"Well, don't," Kurt said, gently pressing on Blaine's head to get him relaxing against him once again. "It was nothing serious. Just… I don't think you can completely wrap your mind around how an offer like that makes me feel. Remember that two days ago-hell, even yesterday-I was just an overly obsessed fan. I didn't have an in with the lead singer, and I was swaying in the GA section of the Legends Festival while my best friend was making out with her soulmate by the porta-potties."
"Um, gross! That's a terrible place to kiss."
"Well, Brittany has her eccentricities, but I love her. Anyway, less than 48 hours ago, I was just a fan of Warbler Attack, and now I'm sitting on the lead singer's bed, cuddling with him, and being invited to join the group. It's just… It's better than anything I could have ever dreamed up and so crazy that it's happening to me of all people."
"Why shouldn't it happen to you? You're amazing. You deserve the world, Kurt. Truly."
"Thanks," he answered honestly. "That's sweet. You'll have to forgive me, though. It's going to take some time for me to accept that. I did just come from the middle of Ohio, you know. Not the easiest row to hoe for a gay boy."
"You don't have to tell me! I was there, too."
"I know. But you got out; you made something of yourself. You're used to other things now, and I'm not there yet."
"You're cute, Kurt- Um, what's your last name?"
"Hummel. I'm Kurt Elizabeth Hummel."
"Pretty. Elizabeth fits you."
"That's my mother's name."
"I love getting to know you. And, I love getting to surprise you, to show you that you're worthy of finding and fulfilling your dreams, even if you don't know it yet."
"Doesn't that just make me naive?"
"No. Cute. And, I'm going to very happily nurture that cuteness in you until it grows into...something else. Because you deserve it, and I want to watch you grow." Blaine shook his head, chuckling. "I should not be talking; I'm exhausted, and I can't word."
"Do you think you could hold out for just a few more minutes?" Kurt asked. "We never really got to talk about my question."
"For you, I'll stay awake all night," Blaine told him. In fact, I already did.
"So, you think Eli will take it okay? Will he leave? What about your manager and the public? How will we tell them? Will they accept it?"
"Well, that's a lot to worry about at once," Blaine said softly, meeting Kurt's gaze and giving him a reassuring squeeze around his middle. "So, why don't you let me tell you how I was imagining we'd handle this. In a few days, when we know for sure that this is really happening, and we can see our hearts just a little bit clearer, we'll tell the band. If I know the guys-and I think I do pretty well by now-the four of them will be ecstatic, and Eli will want to banish me from the group. In the end, he'll wind up leaving, we'll adopt you as our bassist, and then we'll tell the manager. There can be an interview scheduled for our new band member, and everyone will get to see how perfect you are and love you, no assistance required." He beamed up at Kurt.
"Okay… Well…" Kurt breathed deeply, doing his best to focus. The words he wanted to say were meshing with the things he was feeling, and he had to take them back apart again, separate them into what needed to be said and what could be alleviated by the information he was seeking. As he concentrated, his eyes drifted shut, and he felt Blaine begin to trace little nonsense lines and patterns across his stomach as he waited.
When he was finally able to concentrate again and think clearly, Kurt opened his eyes. "Something you should know about me," he said, his voice low, "is that I'm kind of a worrywart. I spend a lot of time thinking about what could be coming next and a whole lot less time enjoying where I am. It's something I'm working on, but I haven't mastered the skill yet."
"I can help," Blaine told him, moving so he could meet Kurt's gaze again. "All you have to do is let me know when something is bothering you, and I'll do my best to help you through it so you can enjoy your life. Because you deserve that, Kurt. You deserve happiness and joy in your life. I know I don't know much yet about who you were before I met you yesterday, but I get the sense that you've spent a lot of your life going through the motions. I don't think you've spent so much time living, and Kurt, someone as amazing as you deserves to really and truly live."
"Thank you."
Blaine didn't respond other than to smile at him gently. Then, he waited for Kurt to say whatever he needed to get off of his chest.
"What you proposed sounds nice," Kurt told him, going back to that place in his mind where he had everything he wanted to talk through patiently waiting in a queue for him to choose them. "It sounds smooth and simple, but what if it doesn't go that way? What will we do if Eli doesn't want to leave?"
"Well, as I know you've already witnessed, Warbler Attack isn't controlled by any one person. We take a vote on everything, even stuff that's not controversial. So, while they would just have to accept you as you are because of…" He held up his wrist in lieu of saying it. "We would vote if you were going to join the band or if Eli was going to leave. Trust me when I say this, Kurt, because I don't want you to get the wrong idea: Eli leaving was on the table before I ever met you. Like I said on the bus, we kept him around because we needed his bass skills, not because we loved him being part of the band."
Kurt wasn't sure what to say. "They could just take a vote and get rid of him?" he asked, making sure he understood. "And, if I were to join in his place, would they vote? Could they vote me out later?"
"I think we're getting ahead of ourselves," Blaine soothed, going back to tracing patterns on Kurt's stomach. This time, however, he left his fingers dip below the hem of Kurt's shirt, grazing lightly over his soft skin before coming back out to trace safely on top of his shirt. "Why don't we do this? When we feel comfortable, we'll tell the guys we're together. Then, if Eli reacts badly, we can discuss making a change at that point. But until the rest of the band knows about you and me, there's nothing much that's going to change, at least not while we're on tour."
"Okay," Kurt mumbled. He did feel better; that just wasn't the rock-solid reassurance he was hoping to get.
"Now, as far as my manager or the media finding out about us? One way or another, they will know that we're a couple someday, even if you never join the band. A lot of people will love you, Kurt. What is there about you that they shouldn't love? But despite everyone that loves you, there will be those that don't. They'll hate you because of jealousy, mostly, but there will always be someone that decides it's their job to let you know that you don't fit the mold of who they wanted to be with me." He sighed, this time sitting up so he could face Kurt fully and take both his hands in his.
"I'm not saying we will have an easy road ahead of us," Blaine told him. "And, if I could go back and know that, all those years ago when I was starting a band in the middle of Ohio, my soulmate was just a few miles away from me, I would have come to knock on your bedroom window and ask you if it was okay, if you would be comfortable living in the spotlight. Or, at least, very near it. But as Fate would have us do, we were destined to meet in New York, not in Ohio, and we can't change my past or what I've become."
"I don't want to change that," Kurt rushed to reassure him.
"So, together, we'll figure it out," Blaine finished. "We'll take it one step at a time, and I'll do what I can to show you the ropes. And, if at some point in our futures, however that looks, you decide that living a life where everyone, at the very least, knows you exist, well… I don't know that I'll be able to erase that, but damn would I try. I would do anything for you, Kurt. Anything at all."
"Oh, Blaine," Kurt whispered, leaning in to press a tiny, chaste kiss to his lips. "How have I lived my whole life without you?" His lips were mere centimeters from Blaine's, and they leaned into each other as they did their best to stabilize one another.
"Never again," Blaine promised. "Never without one another again."
They stayed like that for a few more long moments before pulling back. Baine immediately yawned widely.
"We can go to bed now," Kurt told him. "I'm ready."
"Me, too," Blaine replied, rolling off the bed and dragging himself into the bathroom to change. He came out a few minutes later and collapsed on the bed again, sighing happily.
Kurt giggled before making his way to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. When he emerged, he headed for the chair in the corner of the room, settling down into it and leaning his backpack up against the side. That way it's handy if I wake up in the middle of the night and need something to do.
Blaine lifted his head just a bit and frowned at Kurt. "What are you doing?"
"Getting ready to sleep?"
"In the chair?"
"Yeah? Where else would I sleep?"
"Maybe the bed?" Blaine ventured. "Since that is where one normally sleeps."
"Um...then where would you sleep?"
"Also in the bed."
"So, you want to sleep together?"
Blaine sighed. "I hate the stigma that that phrase has, 'sleep together.' Yeah, I wanna share a bed with you, but I don't expect to wake up in the middle of the night and have my way with you." Though I might have to do something about myself in the morning, because I have the feeling I'm not going to be able to keep my body from reacting very positively to his body.
"Is that what you really want?" Kurt asked. "For me to sleep in the bed with you?"
"Well, I can't imagine that the chair is particularly comfortable, and since we're… You know… It would make sense that we could do that."
Kurt just sat there for a moment, not speaking, not moving. He wasn't sure what to do. On one hand, he would love to sleep next to Blaine. He couldn't deny that the singer's presence was soothing and comforting to him, especially now that he had a tiny imprint of a heart on his arm. And, he definitely couldn't deny how insanely attractive he found Blaine, how wonderful it would be to have his arms around him as he slept. Still, he'd never shared a bed with anyone before. What if he snored? What if he kicked? He had no idea, but the way Blaine's eyes were staring at him, almost pleading with him to get up and climb beneath the covers, his fears were nearly melted away. "Fine," he said quietly, getting up to come and lay next to him. "I suppose we can share the bed."
Blaine smiled at him with sleepy eyes, watching as Kurt, dressed in his gray sweatpants and-embarrassingly-a Warbler Attack t-shirt, padded over to the bed and climbed in. Immediately, Blaine pressed himself up against Kurt, laying his head on his shoulder again, just as he'd done earlier. "This okay?" he mumbled, already half asleep.
"It's fine," Kurt assured, petting his head for a moment before reaching over to switch off the bedside lamp. "Go to sleep."
"Night…"
"Good night, Blaine." Kurt didn't fall asleep right away. Despite being completely tired, he kept thinking about how wonderful Blaine was, how sweet, caring, and understanding he was of what he'd been thinking and feeling. He played with his hair and listened to him breathing deeply, snoring ever so slightly against him, his body heavy with exhaustion. It had been an overwhelming and emotional few days.
As he lay awake, a song began to play in his head, one he hadn't listened to for a long time:
"Days may not be fair always
That's when I'll be there always
Not for just an hour
Not for just a day
Not for just a year
But always."
I'm so relieved that this is forever, he thought to himself as he let his eyes drift shut. I can't imagine leaving him for an hour, a day, a year and not missing everything he gives to me. He's so perfect in every way. Thank you, whoever is out there. I didn't know I needed him, but you did. So, thank you.
