"My people! You are blessed among orcs to live in a time of history. A time when I, Garrosh Hellscream, am poised to claim Kalimdor for the Horde. The human contagion that had taken foul root in Theramore has been cleansed by the essence of arcane magic. They are no more! Jaina Proudmoore will no longer emasculate us as a people with her soft-mouthed words of peace. They fell on deaf ears, and now she and her kingdom are but dust".
"Why are we doing this again?", Karok whispered, leaning to the side.
"Beats me", Urkok replied. "I had this genius idea of draining the wetlands to make farmlands, but the Warchief said it wasn't warrior-y enough and he kicked me out".
"Right? You'd think it'd be better than making angry everybody".
"What does emasculate mean?" The orc replying to the strange name of Player Number One wondered, munching thoughtfully on a chicken leg.
"Silence in the back!"
"But that is not enough. The night elves are next. For so long they have denied us the basic needs of life. We will deprive them of their lives, of their cities, and send what few we spare to become refugees of the Eastern Kingdoms".
"Aw crap, not the damn forest again", Urkok moaned. "I still got an imprint back here from that dryad's hoof".
"You tell me", Karok grumbled. "I thought i had this hairy little guy cornered and then a bunch of eight-foot tall ladies came out of the woods. It was like those trashy hentai fantasy. Only that it totally didn't end like that".
"I still want to know what emasculate means", Player insisted.
"Dunno". Urkok shrugged. "Didn't you pick up some words in your travels, Player?"
"I go to stab, not to be a nerd". Player crunched on the bone, offended. "And spirits know i need it. The last funny gig was that excursion at the Well of Eternity, when the demons invaded".
"Wasn't that ten thousands years ago?"
"Yeah, what's your point?"
"Uhm…"
"Whatever. I'll go ask Drek'That. Back in a minute".
"Silence, i said! I swear to the gods, i will kick your arses!"
"I, Garrosh, will humble them and reduce them to begging for mere morsels of food and a place to sleep, while the Horde avails itself of their riches. Their cities are cut off from aid by stout Horde battleships, and when we are ready to invade, they will fall before us like wheat before the scythe!"
"Damn, he talks a lot", Urkok wondered. "I didn't think he had it in him".
"Who put him in charge anyway?" Karok asked.
"Thrall did. He said it was for the best".
"Didn't this guy try to jump that angry human king?"
"Yeah… and now he nuked a city…"
"…"
"…"
"We're getting slammed by the rest of the world, aren't we?"
"Totally".
"Goddammit. The guys of Theramore even sold us fish". Urkok thought for a moment. "Have you noticed how it's always us starting trouble?"
"Yeah…"
"Are we the bad guys?" Urkok was seriously concerned.
"I dunno, man" Karok sighed. "Stuff happens so fast that i can't keep up. Last week i was stationed at the Echo Islands. One day the trolls were all smiles and waves and the next Vol'jin came to slap me in the back of the head".
"For the nuking, right".
"Yeah, for the nuking".
"I mean, it would be nice to have a word in before, you know, the always angry chief decides to start a world war".
"Yeah, always angry", Karok grumbled. "Why is he always so angry, anyway?"
"He got daddy issues," One grunt helpfully provided.
"Really?" Urkok facepalmed. "That's it. I am resigning. I am going to Northren to fish with the Tuskarr".
"That's the best idea i've ever heard in my life", Karok agreed eagerly. "I am coming as well. Fuck war!"
"You said it. Fuck war!"
"Guys!" Player returned, panicked. "I learned what that word means!"
"…what?"
"It means to cut that". Player made a cutting gesture with his fingers.
"Wait, what?"
"For real?!"
"Yes!"
"Wait, so that Proudmoore gal wants to…!"
"No!"
"Holy crap! Nuking her was the right thing to do!"
"Our warchief knows what's up! We have to follow him to war!"
"Yes! Against the ones that want to cut that out!"
"Lok'tar Ogar!"
"Lok'tar Ogar!"
"To war! To war!"
"Aaaaaaaaa!"
