AN: Hello, I'm the Average Joe: Your friendly neighborhood Jack of all Fandoms. Maybe you're finding this work because you read Wise men and Cobra Kai Charlie Brown, or maybe you're meeting me for the first time because you stumbled onto this by happy accident, I'd just like to say hello and thank you for taking the time to read my work.

A few weeks ago, I was invited by some writers to participate in a writing zine. We were all given the same one-word prompt, that being "Witch", and asked to take it in whatever direction felt right. If you want to see the rest of the fics, along with the fanart I drew to go with this fic, go check out the series on AO3.


October 17

Denki swung the door to the dorms open, humming an old tune to himself and smiling like an idiot. Now that the war was over and school was back in session, everything seemed to be going right for him. First, he and his classmates had convinced the U.A. Faculty that a Halloween party for the Hero students was a great idea. Then, they had gotten permission to have a costume contest – with couples allowed to enter together as matching sets. Lastly, his close friend and crush, Kyoka, had actually agreed to go with him as a couple!

He shut the door behind him, still convinced nothing could take him out of his good mood. As he walked through the common area, he noticed Mineta out of the corner of his eye. The much smaller boy was sitting on the couch, head hung low and hands covering his face. If Denki was honest, he hadn't really spoken to, or even really thought about the guy, in quite a while. They had been doing work studies with different agencies, and they hadn't hung out much in their free time since Mineta started hanging out with the 1B students. Even in class, Denki had really tried to distance himself from the more pervy stuff since he started hanging out with Kyoko and Momo. Still, he was willing to risk his good mood and see what was bothering the grape.

"Hey... Grape Juice. What's happening?" Not his best conversation starter, but it served its purpose.

Mineta took his head out of his hands and looked at Denki, "Oh, hey Kaminari. How have you been?"

"Fine. Just fine," Denki wasn't the smartest guy, but even he could pick up the stress in the other boy's voice. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I just…" Mineta paused for a moment and breathed in. "I'm just worried about the costume party."

"I see. Afraid you won't get a good-looking date by then?" Denki asked with a grin.

Mineta gave him an odd look for a moment, then realization dawned on his face. "Right, you haven't been around since you switched agencies. Look Kaminari, I'm trying really hard to distance myself from the guy I used to be."

"Wait, really?" To that, Denki finally sat down on the couch beside Mineta.

"Yeah. While I was in the work studies, Mt. Lady sat me down and explained the real reason I wasn't getting any girls. I was ruining it myself by thinking about them as walking boobs and butts, not actual people. That's how she described it to me anyway. She talked me into taking some courses on harassment. Kamui and Edgeshot helped me practice talking to people politely. After that I went and apologized to all the girls in class for treating them the way I did."

Denki needed a moment to let that sink in. Mineta apologized for being pervy?

"While I was there," he continued, "I ended up spending a bit of time with Ibara. It turned out I actually really liked talking to her. She gave me a shot, and we ended up… I think she calls it 'going steady'."

Ibara? Where had Denki heard that name before? He started mapping out students in his head and tried to match the name to a face. Then it finally hit him. "You mean Vine from Class B?" He remembered asking her out during the first sports' festival. Right before she whipped his ass and knocked him out of the tournament. He'd worked with her a bit when he was with the Lurker team, but she had mostly kept to herself at that point. Sounded like that didn't last too long though. "Glad that worked out for ya, buddy! You two going to the costume party together?"

Mineta groaned. "That's where the problems start. Ibara and I were talking about going together outside the classroom. Some of the others overheard us. Mina had this idea to make the couples surprise each other with separate costume ideas before the party."

Denki cocked his head. "How does that work if they're supposed to be matching?"

"We all pick ideas for costumes this week and make one for ourselves without the other person knowing what it is. Then this weekend, the couples show off to each other and pick the costumes they both like more. Uraraka jumped on the idea, and of course, they got Ibara in on it!"

"Wait –sorry, I want to listen to your problems – but does Jiro know about this?"

"I don't know, but Mina will probably tell her about it soon."

"Thanks for the heads-up, man!" Denki fiddled with the lightning-bolt patch in his hair. "So what's the hold-up with this? It honestly sounds pretty fun to me."

"I don't know what Ibara will like!" Mineta groaned. "I don't have a clue what costumes to go with or even how to make them!"

Denki didn't have a ton of experience actually being in a relationship – most of his pick-up lines and attempts had been unsuccessful before Kyoka – but Grandma Kaminari always said honesty was what would keep a relationship strong. "Have you asked her what she wants to do? Or better yet, did you tell her you'd rather go with whatever she wants to do?"

"Tried that. She said she wants me to at least try and think of an idea myself to see what I come up with." He lowered his grape-covered head again. "I just got a chance with her, Kaminari. I don't want to blow this by choosing something she'll hate."

Denki sighed, still trying to figure out what to do with this information. Mineta had been an alright friend back in the first year, and he had just helped Denki get a head-start on what to do with the costuming; maybe Denki could find a way to help him out. "What if we both worked together on this? I'll pick your costume with you, and you can help me pick mine too."

"Really? You'd do that? Thanks, Kaminari."


October 18

Picking his own outfit had been one of the easiest things Denki had ever done. He just ordered Pikachu and Eevee costumes online when he and Mineta found the perfect matching set in the right size. Now all that was left was to help the Grape decide what to do. To that end, the pair made their way over to the Class B dormitories. Finding Vine's close friends and asking them what she would like seemed like a good start. There was just one problem the boys hadn't taken into account.

"Do you take me for a fool, Chargebolt?" Monoma asked with a gleam in his eye. "I know why you really want to enter our dorms!"

"Monoma, you know me!" Mineta said. "You know I'm not that guy anymore!"

The blonde let his haughty gaze fall for a moment. "Of course, Grape Juice. I support your current life choices, and I do respect that you've managed to sway the interest of one of my classmates. However, in this time and age, you must be counted as an enemy."

"Monoma, didn't you learn your lesson about these rivalries after the war?" Denki asked with a groan.

"I learned NOTHING, Class 2A!" He waved his arms around like a madman. "What I do know is that you two are coming under false pretenses! 'Asking our class rep about costume suggestions.' It's clear as day that you two are trying to spy on my class and steal our costume ideas!"

"Why would we want to steal your ideas?" Denki asked.

"Why would you–" He sputtered. "I'll have you know that my boyfriend and I have the perfect plan to win this competition!"

"Boyfriend?" Denki whispered to Mineta.

"That's news to me." Mineta whispered back with a shrug.

"So if either of you think that I am going to sit here and let you purloin our masterpiece designs–"

Whatever Monoma was going to say was cut off by a sharp neck chop from behind. As he collapsed to the ground, Kendo became visible through the doorway.

"Monoma, please stop. This is getting really, really old." Kendo said curtly, shaking her head in irritation before addressing the 2A students. "Sorry about that. Come on in! We're all just trying to help make some decorations for the party."

Denki and Mineta stepped over Monoma's crumpled body and entered the dormitory. They were both surprised to find that the tables and floors were covered in hundreds of sheets of construction paper. Various 2B students were sitting at the tables and on the ground cutting the paper into various Halloween designs. Paper jack-o-lanterns, bats, ghosts, witches, and more could be seen sprawled out across the common area. As Denki's eyes wandered, he noticed an extra sheet of printed paper taped beneath the 2B sign. It just read, 'or not 2B'.

"What's with the sign, Kendo?" He asked.

"Setsuna put it up there. Said it was a reference to a play from before the pre-quirk era. I don't really get it, but it made both her and Kodai laugh, so I'm not gonna argue about it." Kendo sat down on the couch in the common room and motioned for the other two to do the same. She reached down for some scissors and began cutting some white construction paper. "Mineta, were you looking for Shiozaki today?"

He shook his head. "No. We need to talk to you about the costume contest, Miss Kendo."

She smiled as she finished cutting the white and reached for black paper. "Mineta, I really appreciate you trying to be more respectful now, but just Kendo is fine." She snipped several small circles from the black sheet and started looking around the couch for glue. "I guess you're here about Ashido's surprise idea, right? You want some advice on what would work for the two of you?"

"Right." Denki said. "Do you know if there's any particular costume set Vine'll like?"

"I wish I could be more help to you, but honestly, if anyone around here would know her, it'd probably be you two." She finally found the glue bottle wedged into the cushions and grabbed the small black and white sheets she had cut out before. "Shiozaki kinda kept to herself most of the first year. I don't mean to say she was anti-social, but I still couldn't really tell you much about her interests or her background. I can tell you she's very religious, but that's about it." After a moment, she held up the paper designs she had been working on: Classic little white ghosts that looked like tiny men draped in bed sheets. "Was there anything else you two wanted to talk about?"

"Nothing I can think of." Denki began to stand up.

"Thank you for your time, Kendo." Mineta climbed off the couch himself.

"I've got a suggestion for you, Grape Juice."

All three teens turned around and saw a familiar, Lizardy-mouth floating in the air beside them.

"So you want something nice and innocent, right? You want something sweet and wholesome?" He nodded. "How about a classic fairy tale theme then?"

Mineta rubbed his chin. "That's a pretty good idea, Setsuna. What'd you have in mind?"

She grinned. "A couple of characters that everybody knows. Legends in history. I think it'd be just swell if Shiozaki went as Little Bo Peep. And you would make a great little sheep!"

Denki held in his own chuckle because he could see the irritated look on his friend's face, but Setsuna was rolling around on the ground cackling madly at her own corny suggestion.

Then they both heard another, more familiar voice. "You can do better than that, mon ami."

When Denki had been looking around the room the first time, he had missed his own classmate in the bunch. "What are you doing here, Aoyama?"

"Helping make these festivities all the more dazzling!" As he stood up from his chair, they could see the brightly colored paint and glitter surrounding his place at the table. "But perhaps I can be of help today. Ms. Lizardy here wished to poke fun at your small stature, but I say you should embrace it! And what better way than to embrace it than to don the guise of one of the most famous and dignified leaders in history?" Aoyama moved around the table and started walking between the students crafting on the floor. "Yes. You and your mademoiselle should attend as Napoleon and Josephine Bonaparte!"

"That's actually not a bad idea." Kendo said. "If that's something you want to try, Mineta, I think you can get the costumes at a good price online."

Mineta pulled out his phone and opened the note app before turning to the rest of the room. "I'm gonna write these down. Anyone else got ideas?"


October 19

Costume Group Chat

RealAshido: HELLO EVERYBODY! ITS ALIEN QUEEN HERE! :)

RealAshido: Midori has agreed to keep track of everybody who wants to do the costume reveal!Text him or call him ajf tell him who yur date is and he;

RealAshido: and hel'l tell you where you should meet tomorrow!


After a few days of discussing it further, Minoru had finally narrowed it down. He still wasn't certain what pieces of pop culture she would like, and he thought trying to dress as a figure from her religious background would be risky if he didn't know the significance of them. Eventually he decided to stick with something simple and safe. He and Denki had rented a grapevine costume for himself and – if she liked it – his partner would presumably rent another fruit suit as well.


October 20

Costume Group Chat

RealAshido: EVERYONE THIS YOUR QUEEN AGAIN! I just thought of another great idea for this event!

RealAshido: When everybody goes to show costumes, we all wear blindfolds!

RealAshido: When you go in the classroom and wait, cover your eyes! Take off your blindfolds on the count of 3! Itlll make it super misterious!

RealAshido: Is anybody gonna talk in this chatroom besides me?! :(


Minoru sat in the classroom Midoriya had told him about, anxious to meet his girlfriend and see what she came up with. Kaminari sat next to him in his Pikachu costume.

"You think she'll like it?" Minoru asked. His blindfold was pulled down below his throat, and he was fidgeting with it a lot.

"Don't worry, buddy." Kaminari replied. "We both look super cool today!" He said this while his face was directed towards the ceiling. His own blindfold covered his eyes.

Minoru didn't know about that. He thought both their costumes looked at least a little silly. His whole body was covered in large, foam, purple balls, with a thick bundle of felt leaves adorning his neck and chest. Underneath was a tight-fitting shirt and pants that both matched his hair's natural purple hue. Pretty goofy overall. Still, he appreciated the reassurance from his friend. At that point, they heard a knock at the door. "Who's there?"

"It's Jiro! You guys decent in there?"

"Yep!" Kaminari said.

"Blindfold coming on now!" The door swung open and the purple-haired girl entered the classroom.

Minoru… wasn't sure what Jiro's costume was meant to be. She was wearing loose-fitting jeans down past her ankles and a baggy white tank top. Her hair was slicked back over the head and fashioned to look incredibly short. Strangest of all, she had a fake mustache painted onto her face. She still had the blindfold on, and she carried a microphone in her hand. Minoru stood up from his desk and nudged Kaminari to do the same. "Uh… Alright. On the count of three, both of you take off your blindfolds. One, two, three."

Jiro and Kaminari both pulled the fabric from their eyes. They stood in silence for a moment, then started laughing at each other.

"Pikachu? Really?"

"Oh come on! It's totally like my spirit animal! I've gotta ask though, what's with the mustache?"

"It was supposed to be Freddie Mercury. He's a classic musician from the pre-quirk era. He had a friend called Elton John who was also a really famous singer, and I thought his crazy outfits would suit you well."

"Hmm, how crazy were those outfits?"

"Even crazier than the pajamas you've got on now."

"Ooh, sounds really promising!" Kaminari was interrupted by another knock at the door. "We'll have to discuss this more later. Is that you, Shiozaki?"

"It is. May I please come in?"

Minoru grabbed his blindfold and jerked it up so it covered his eyes again. "Make sure your eyes are covered, honey!"

Kaminari made a squawking noise. "Honey?"

The door opened again, this time more slow and ginger. Minoru couldn't see anything, but he heard some very light footsteps get a little closer. Then he heard an oof and the sound of a legs bumping into a chair.

"Don't worry, I've got you." He heard Jiro say. She walked over and presumably helped Ibara get into the pathway between desks.

"Yes. Thank you, Earphone Jack." She said.

"If you two are ready, I'll do the counting for you." Kaminari said.

"I didn't know you knew how to count." Jiro replied. Minoru could just hear the smirk as she said it.

"Anyway… One, two, three!"

Minoru pulled the blindfold off his face with a gloved hand. The light came on and… Was Ibara wearing what he thought she was?

She looked down at him and studied his own costume. "Ah, I see. You've elected to become a vineyard."

"Are… Are you dressed as a witch? Like a Harry Potter witch right now?"

Sure enough, Ibara had classic black Hogwarts robes. They were adorned with golden lining across the edges, and a gold-colored tie was visible on the dress shirt beneath. "Do you like it, Minoru?"

"I do, I just didn't know you were into that. Is that a Hufflepuff robe?"

"You noticed! And yes: While the books were flawed in a number of ways, they were a very enjoyable read. I relate a lot to the House of Hufflepuff."

Minoru let out a sigh of relief. He quickly resolved not to make assumptions about her again. "I'd rather go with your idea. Do you have another robe for me?"

"I do. The one I ordered for you was Ravenclaw. I thought it fit you well with your intellect and willingness to accept new information. Would you like to try it on now?"

"I'd love to!"

Minoru took Ibara's hand and strolled out of the classroom, leaving Jiro and Kaminari to discuss the Pokémon vs Rock Star Debate.

As they walked down the empty halls, Minoru looked up at his girlfriend. "I'm glad this surprise thing is over. I was getting really worked up about it."

"Oh? And what worried you about it?" She asked.

"Just. You know. I thought I might pick the wrong thing and…"

"And I might judge you?" She finished for him. "I didn't intend for this to be stressful. For that I apologize. To tell you the truth, as long as you didn't choose anything scantily clad, I likely would have liked anything you chose."

"Really?"

Of course! I love your unique perspective on things. Out of curiosity, what did you have in mind for me if I agreed to the grapes?"

"I hadn't really thought that far. They had a nice strawberry costume at the store, that might have worked."

"I wouldn't have minded being a strawberry." She then slowed down her walk for a moment. "Minoru, when we first started going out, you asked whether I was okay with being with someone like you; both for looks, and history. My answer is still the same. I chose to date you because I care about you: Not for what you've done, or what you will become. You for you."

"You… You mean it?"

"I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true."

Minoru looked up at her with a lot of love and hope in his eyes. Or maybe those were tears. 'Great. Now I'm turning into Midoriya.' He thought.

Ibara noticed and lowered herself down, extending her arms. Minoru took the invitation and wrapped himself around her waist in a tight hug. He still felt a bit like a child when he had to reach up to embrace her like this, and the hug was a bit awkward as his grape costume was so thick, but he tried to ignore that as he buried his face in her soft black robes.

"Thank you, Vine. Thank you for everything."


October 31

Mineta and Shiozaki did indeed go as a witch and wizard. They were accompanied by Jiro and Kaminari, who ultimately decided to go with John and Mercury, but took lots of selfies together in their Pikachu and Eevee costumes. Kirishima and Mina went as Jaws and the Orca fishing boat. Mina eventually was forced to remove the costume by Aizawa because the boat was so massive that it kept bumping into people and knocking things off of tables every time she turned around. Aoyama and Setsuna were both single as of Halloween, but Aoyama came dressed as King Louie XVI of France, and he convinced Setsuna to come as Marie Antoinette. She agreed to this because she found out Marie was ended by a guillotine, and she spent the entire party carrying her head around under her arm, detached from the rest of her body. Todoroki and Yaoyorozu surprised everybody with very well designed Mario and Peach costumes thanks to Momo's quirk and a bit of ingenuity. Momo made him some thermochromic fabric that would change colors when heated or chilled. When he used his left side, it would change to resemble Mario's fire costume, and when he turned on his right it would change to resemble Mario's ice costume. He even wore a mustache that was half-red-half-white like his own hair to make it fully his own.

Monoma came to the party and introduced everyone to his boyfriend, Shinsou. They thought they could upstage everybody by dressing as Goofy and Donald Duck, but were outraged to find out that Ojiro and Tooru separately came up with the idea to come as Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Midoriya and Uraraka came dressed as Bert and Mary Poppins; Midoriya used his smokescreen quirk to emulate the chimney smoke, and Uraraka used her zero gravity to float around like Mary does. Bakugou came dressed in his hero costume and a pin that said "This IS my Halloween costume". He got into fights with several other students about it. Iida hadn't had a costume initially, but Hatsume had a conveniently well-fitted set of Mega Man and Samus Aran costumes lying around, complete with functioning arm canons for both of them. Most of the students weren't even sure she knew the costume party was happening, she just happened to whip those up for her own mad devices. So he got outfitted with the Mega Man armor, and she wore her Samus armor to really mess with everybody. The ultimate winners of this competition were Uraraka and Midoriya, with Todoroki and Yaoyozozu narrowly coming in second. Third place was given to Kendo and Tetsutetsu, who came dressed as Sarah Connor and the Terminator. All in all, this event was a pleasant experience and everyone had a delightful time. These happy memories would stick with everyone well into their hero careers.


AN: I knew that everybody would go the supernatural/fantasy route with a prompt like 'witch', so I decided to go a bit of a different route with this prompt to be unique. I was trying to think about who would be the funniest person to be dating Shiozaki, and then realized a beta reader had dared me to do this specific pairing for a completely different crackfic project a year ago. This one's for you, buddy. :)

Admittedly I didn't have time to explore this story the way I wanted to due to time constraints, but I am overall pleased with the outcome.

Thank you to the people who invited me to do this writing zine! That's about everything from me. Thank you everyone who read to the end, and I'll talk to you guys later. Peace!