Peter
Ned
Ned are you there
Ned I need help
NED!
###-###-####
Who's Ned?
Peter
Come on Ned this is serious
I got cut with the toaster!
Its, like, a couple inches deep.
And before you ask, yes I did measure it
But its spilling blood all over my toast! My butter is bloody now!
What do I do!
###-###-####
I'm not Ted
Your toast is not the top priority
HOW?!
Go to the hospital!
Peter
How am I sure your not Ned? ?
Oh! I know!
Whats your Favorite starwars movie?
###-###-####
I don't watch star wars
Peter
*la gasp* Your not Ned! ?
###-###-####
That's what I have been trying to tell you
Now get some help!
Peter
Oh yeah...I forgot about that.
But I cant go to the hospital Not-Ned!
"###-###-####" has been changed to "Not-Ned"
Not-Ned
Why not!
Peter
...reasons?
Not-Ned
Kid what?!
Okay . . . what do you have?
Peter
A needle and...dental floss?
Not-Ned
Okay, do what I tell you
Sterilize your needle with a flame or alcohol, then get the suture ready. With your fingers, pull the wound together. Locate the center of the cut, and insert the first suture by sticking the needle through the skin (.5 cm from the edge of the cut), out the wound, back through the wound on the other side and out the skin. What you'll have is a loop of thread, as if you just ran a shoelace through the bottom two eyelets of your shoe. Pull the skin together, and tie it off with a basic double knot. Clip the excess suture. Important: do not tie it too tight – secure it just enough so that the wound is sealed. If you go too tight, it'll kill the tissue.
Once your first suture is secured, work back toward the edge by placing a new suture halfway between the end of the cut and the closest stitch. Repeat until the wound is sealed.
Now here's where it gets tough. The reason why doctors don't want you to surf with stitches is that water will inevitably get in there, making it highly likely to open up again after the stitches come out. It also greatly increases the risk of infection. If you can resist temptation, keep the stitches in for the following: five days for a face gash, seven days for anything on the body and 10-14 days for a cut on the feet (for some reason, feet take forever to heal.)
Peter followed the unknown person's instructions, biting his lip so he wouldn't cry out.
Mrs. Goregon had thrown that toaster much harder than he had expected and he had gotten a deep gash along his arm from the handle, which was apparently a lot sharper than it let on.
After a very painful 'DIY' he leaned back onto the wall of the closet, exhausted. Peter planned on staying there until his *insert old phone here* began to beep repeatedly
Peter opened the messages
Not-Ned
Kid are you okay?
Kid?
KID
KID ARE YOU THERE
KID IF YOU DON'T ANSWER I DUCKING SWEAR …
*DUCKING
*DUCKING
*DUCKING
WHAT THE DUCK!
Thats it. I'm hacking your phone.
Peter
NO! DOn't do that
I'm fine
Not-Ned
KID! Are you alright?
Peter
Yeah i'm good. Thanks for the instructions
Wait ?…
What makes you think I'm a kid?
Not-Ned
Are you kidding?
Your obviously, like, 10 years old
Just by the way you talk
Peter
15 is NOT a 'KID'
Not-Ned
So your 15 then?
Peter
Wai- are you a KiDnApPeR?!
Not-Ned
What? Of course not!
Peter
Thats what a KIDNAPPER WOULD SAY! ?
"Not-Ned" Has been changed to "'Kidnapper'"
'Kidnapper'
IM NOT A KIDNAPPER
Peter
Are you sure you have never kidnapped anyone?
'Kidnapper'
I mean…
Peter
ヽ(O_O )ノ
'Kidnapper'
…
I'm not a kidnapper
Peter
Why do you expect me to believe that.
Thats what a kidnapper would say!
*panik*
'Kidnapper'
I solemnly swear that I am not a kidnapper
Peter
Do you swear on the river styx?
On your trough?
On your ancestors bones?
'Kidnapper'
...yes?
Peter
Great! Now it you break it you get…
A punishment worse than death
Disrespect cast onto your ancestors
And I get…
Your soul :)
'Kidnapper'
… *is now scared*
