Lexi was playing it cool, yes, she was very proud of herself for being so chill and no uncomfortable at all with Faye joining their small gathering.
It's not like she was used to being invited along other people's friend groups just cause they didn't want to be rude and leave her behind. It wasn't like one of those social plans Maddy or Kat made where she showed up too cause Cassie said she was invited, none of them were rude, and she wouldn't lie by saying she didn't enjoy being included, but deep down she knew that they wouldn't notice if she stopped going.
Or like that time Rue invited her to hang out and forgot to mention Jules was also gonna be there, and as the night passed the girls began to shut themselves together from the rest of the world, it's not like they were doing it on purpose, it was completely understandable, but she probably wouldn't have gone in the first place if she knew she'd be forgotten at the end of the night.
Lexi could keep on going feeling sorry for herself, but she wasn't, nope, she did not feel out of place and invisible by how Rue and Faye had taken over the conversation, and only casually asked Fez to join by asking some detail about a word or person they had forgotten about.
Her phone buzzed; it was Cassie.
Where r u?
Rue. Won't be long. She answered, her quality time with Fez had been completely thrown out of the window; however, Rue probably needed this, a safe space to distract herself from whatever was going on, and her well being was a top priority right now.
It had been like 20 minutes since she arrived, it would be rude to just leave.
"Where could I get some water?" She asked Fez.
He turned to her, he seemed as eager as her to find a distraction.
"Kitchen, I'll get it"
"No, it's okay, I can do it" she said standing up.
"I'll go with you" he insisted.
The two walked like 5 steps to get to the kitchen.
"You got the whole tour now" he joked wanting to fill the silence.
She laughed and relaxed while he got her a glass of water, the kitchen looked pretty clean for two boys living alone. She hadn't expected the 70's-ish decorations, she wondered if it was a personal choice or a family heirloom of some sort.
Fez handed her the glass of water and she pretended not to mind the electricity when their hands brushed each other.
"I like your house" Lexi began trying to make conversation, she had not come all the way to just be silent, besides she hoped to learn more about him "it's cozy"
He smiled softly "Thanks. It's my grandma's"
"Oh, I thought it was just you and your brother"
"We don't be talking much about her cause she's sick" his expression didn't change, but she notices his eyes darkening "and I don't want nothin' happening to her"
"Of course, sorry"
Fez smiled "Nah it's okay, I trust you"
That filled Lexi's heart in such an indescribable way.
"Is she okay?" she asked softly
He looked over at Rue and Faye, the girls seemed lost in their own world, and back to Lexi, he shook his head. "We take care as her as well as we can"
"I'm sure you do; she must be proud of how good you are"
Fez let out a small chuckle and she definitely saw his ears turning a bit red. "Don't be saying shit like that"
"Like what?" she chuckled.
"Like you for real" His eyes glistened.
"But I am" she let out.
The two stared at each other, suddenly she had no recollection of time or space, just his face, his eyes looking into hers as if he could pierce through them and see into her soul.
"You guys want pizza, or can I eat the last slice?" Rue shouted from the living room couch.
The two broke eye contact, Fez answered as she composed herself, that was a bit too intense.
"Has Rue said anything about Jules?" She asked in a low voice once the girls were back to their conversation.
"Nah" he answered "you got here 5 minutes after. I told Faye to stay in the damn room, but you know Rue, she-"
"Oh, don't worry" she stopped him "they are friends, you are all friends, right?"
She hoped that sounded casual, he had already said they weren't together, but it wasn't like they couldn't potentially be, things changed pretty easily, and she would be totally okay and no disappointed at all.
"She's the girl of one of my friends, he asked if she could stay for couple days, shit's been weeks"
She could feel her face muscles relaxing "That's nice of you"
"It was fucking stupid" Ash muttered behind her, she jumped a little and he hid an amused laugh.
"Yo that's fucking rude, man" Fez called out firm but calm, and turned to Lexi "You okay?"
"Yeah" she quickly assured him and stood out of the way as Ash opened one of the cupboards she was blocking before "sorry"
Ash made no sign to disappear again, he pulled out a cereal box and milk and stared at his brother defiantly. Fez was definitely annoyed, but she didn't mind, she grew up being the one who was stuck hanging out with her older sibling's friends.
"Sorry for invading your home" she said playfully to the younger brother.
He didn't respond.
Fez cleared his throat and turned back to Lexi again "How's your family?"
"Umm good" she lied, but she was used to lying about that "Mom's doing her own thing and my sister's shining, as always"
"That's cool" he added "they must be proud of you for the play"
"Oh yeah, they were thrilled"
"That's good" he smiled.
She felt terrible lying to him, he had literally opened the doors of his house, talked about his grandmother and there she was playing perfect family as if he would judge her otherwise. Fuck it.
"I lied" Lexi let out and took a deep breath "I haven't told them about the play cause my mother will only use it as an excuse to take a bottle out and make a toast about it, but it will be just so she won't feel so guilty about repeating a drinking strike, she legit did that the last time I told her I'd gotten an A on some random class. And Cassie is too deep on an emotional breakdown that I feel guilty for being happy while she's been having a shitty time."
The brothers stared at her.
"Sorry" she apologized for like the twelfth time that night.
"Nah" Fez encouraged her "go for it"
"I also feel like even if they knew, they'd simply wouldn't care. I don't know which is worse, like I need their validation but would rather keep it as a very personal thing they won't be able to destroy"
She hadn't realized Fez had moved closer until she felt his hand on her back, softly comforting her, she felt so warm and safe.
"And I know I can't blame him for everything, but I just fucking know my dad did this to us" she finished, she hadn't said that word in a long time.
Lexi had expected to cry, she didn't, instead felt the weight of the world fall off her shoulders. Taking a deep breath, she chuckled.
"Are you okay?" Fez asked leaning down so his face could be on the same level as hers.
"Yeah" she smiled "sorry about that, I just needed to ummm... I should go now"
"Don't" he said right away, clearing his throat added "I mean, you can stay longer if you wanna"
"It's kinda late, I told Cassie I wouldn't be long" She wasn't lying this time, too much had happened in so little time that she needed to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling.
"Yeah...I'll take you" he offered "just let me get my umm wallet"
Fez disappeared into what she guessed was his bedroom before she could protest.
Lexi took a deep breath, suddenly forgetting Ash was still there she muttered under her breath "Yep, I wasn't awkward at all"
"You're fucking kidding, right?" the boy told her, she jumped a bit again.
He never talked to anyone, it wasn't like she knew much about him, but it was well known, even Rue had told her that Ash kinda spooked her. Lexi was both honored that he had chosen to directly talk to her and completely intimidated by what he might think of her.
"It was that bad?"
"Not you" he snorted "Fezco's been torturing my ears with every fucking thing you text"
"He has?" the woman was too stunned to speak.
Ash rolled his eyes so hard that it probably hurt him "He read your stupid play like 5 times, even listened to fucking Faye about calling and not texting like he was some whiny ass bitch"
"What the fuck are you saying to her man?" Fez called from his room.
"Fucking pathetic" Ash said in a lower voice and leaning in closer to her added "you do something to him, and I'll set you and your unstable crazy ass family on fire"
Lexi nodded "I... I would never"
Ash studied her for a few seconds and finally nodded "You ever make him ruin my breakfast again, I won't like you anymore"
"You like me?"
"You two are so fucking annoying"
Fez parked a block from her house, what Ash had told her had definitely given her more confidence, and honestly, she couldn't keep on pretending to not notice she was past the crush phase. Would it be so bad to kiss him? She'd totally go for it if she wasn't...Lexi.
"Thank you for everything" she began "I had a really good time, sorry about that outburst in your kitchen, I just...I don't know where that came from"
He turned to her "You don't need to apologize about nothin'. I like you trusting me"
"Is it weird that I feel like I already trusted you before we met?" she almost whispered, her throat beginning to close.
His face softened and he smiled even more "Lexi?"
"Yeah?" the intense stare was back; she had no intention of breaking away from it.
"Can we like hang again?" his words had slowed down too.
"When?"
"Shit I don't know, all the time?"
She smiled and without even thinking about it she leaned towards him, he looked down at her lips before meeting her halfway and kissing her.
It was a bit clumsier than what her imagination had created, but that made it even more perfect, she hadn't felt more loved or understood than in his arms, she hadn't felt more vulnerable and fearless than when she was with him, and most importantly, she hadn't been more happy of being and living as herself.
