I sit in the great hall with the rest of the slytherins, calmly eating breakfast. Even though i'm not that hungry, I can't resist juicy red apples in the morning. It's almost a guilty pleasure, it makes me feel as though i'm giving in to my vampiric urges. My entire life, ive had to deal with the burden of being half-vampire. My father was bitten before I was born, he narrowly escaped, but was doomed to vampirism forever. My mother was also almost bitten, but father protected her fiercely. Abraxus Malfoy, a noble man, I am proud to carry his last name. My mother died shortly after giving birth. As a result of having only one infected parent, my condition isn't as bad as his. The sunlight stings a little bit, but it's not completely unbearable. The worst part comes at night. Under the midnight sky is when they hunt... my primal urges become too much to control, I try to fight them off, but I can't take it for that long, especially under the blood moon. My teeth extend to pointed fangs, and in the worst case scenario, a pair of black wings, not unlike a bats, force their way painfully out from my shoulderblades. I gain abilities I would never be able to handle in complete human form. The only alive person aware of this is my father, and he'smiles away, at the manor. my dorm is a good place to isolate as I turn, but I can't help feeling like a danger to my fellow students. What would everyone think, knowing that the heir to the Malfoy throne, one of the most prestigious pureblood families in Britain, is a violent, blood craving beast? I look to my right, feeling as though i'm being watched, and meet the loving eyes of my beautiful girlfriend, Narcissa. It makes me feel even more guilty. She doesn't know either, she can never know.. Even though I love her so, I know this can never work out. I can't bring myself to break her heart. It has to happen someday. If I confided in her, she would understand, and let me go, but do I trust her to keep my secret? It would be a horrible betrayal to my family, of course, to let any living soul be aware of my condition, but if I simply fled, she may be damaged beyond repair. I can't bring myself to chose. I try to push the thought out of my head, most of the time, knowing that I will make the decision when the time comes, but it still irks me. "Hey, love." She says, a pleasant smile over her face. Despite all my worries, she seems to brighen the room, melt my icy soul. "I was thinking.." She says, blushing slightly. "We only ever see eachother in class, and we're not even allowed to talk. Maybe we could.. meet up tonight.. sneak out and see eachother in private.." she looks away at the last remark, as if embarrassed. I quickly give my response. "You know men can't get into the women's dorms." She grabs my arm. "But women can get into the mens. I don't think any of them have ever tried, but I would be willing to sneak out for you. Or we could get outside, maybe, a bit into the forest, where no one could see us.." Her eyes are lit with determination. "You know that forest is dangerous, love. I would hate for you to get hurt. And I would hate for you to get caught, just for my sake." I lie. "Are you doubting me? Because I can assure you, I will not get caught." She snaps. I place my hand on her shoulder. "Its just not a good idea, love, i'm sorry." I smile in a consoling way, as if to make sure she isn't mad at me. She looks away, clearly dissapointed, but not frustrated, at least. "Oh, ok.." She mutters. I place my hand under her chin and move her face back to a position where we can make firm eye contact. "Hey, I love you. Don't think this means I don't care about you. I do." She still looks sad. "It's just.. You've never shied away from risks before. It just seems.. off." I feel a pain in my heart. It's true, I haven't, but this risk isn't worth taking. If I agree, its not as simple as getting caught, I could very well be putting her life in danger. I can't deal with that. "And..." she begins. "I noticed you weren't eating much today, either. You looked distracted. Why is that?" I immediately feel pressure, completely caught off guard, no idea what to say. I fight a silent battle with myself not to display my emotions on my face. I quickly come up with a lie. "Well, If i'm acting odd, it may be due to the fact that I haven't felt great recently. I'm sure it's nothing, please, don't worry for me, im only slightly under the weather. It won't get any worse." She nods. "Okay. I.. have to get to class. I'll see you in charms." She kisses my forehead as she leaves. She truly is perfect.. I feel like an awful person for lying to her, for not being able to make her happy like any normal man could. Why did she have to be in love with me, of all people? My undeniable charm seems to work solely against me. I stand, checking the time. Five minutes until I have to get to my first class, potions. I should get going.
