Summary: Satoru has loved Utahime for years and is all too willing to show her what a real relationship is supposed to be. All he has to do is convince her to give him a chance.

Word count: 3843

This wasn't the first time Utahime Iori stared at her reflection and wondered who was staring back at her. She used to be so confident, so sure of herself…ever since Katsuya had begun to pick fights over things that used to not be an issue. Twisting everything to come back to her, like she was the only one at fault.

She turned smoothing a hand down her hair before she let her gaze drift to her phone and that group chat that was blowing up with a one-sided conversation between Satoru, Geto, and Nanami. The buzzing on the phone and the unlocked messages scrolling past on her Lock Screen.

Her messages weren't usually unlocked, she was a very private person, but it wasn't a fight she wanted to have again. He had met her friends and things had gone well, everyone had gotten along, but after a few times…Katsuya had wanted your sole attention. Being passive-aggressive with getting her to stay with him, or do what he wanted.

After you moved in with him, things changed, his words were braided with insults, subtle at first or as though meant to be a joke, but they never got any better. He also pushed for her to cover up the scar on her face, she'd never felt self-conscious about it before, her friends had never hinted at the fact that it made her look less feminine, or less attractive…but he made her feel ugly, ashamed and thus her downward spiral had begun. It wasn't just her appearance he picked at, it was everything. It was her weight, her body shape, her muscle definition. It became anything and everything that he could use to tear down her self-esteem.

No matter how you try to tell yourself something isn't true, if you hear something long enough, you begin to believe it, it takes root and festers and grows leeching away things that she used to enjoy, taking away little things at first, before all you can see if the ugliness underneath and you believe the negative voices, because it's all you hear.

She wished she hadn't allowed her loneliness to trick her into the illusion that this was what love was supposed to be like. Iori should have never canceled her lease on her apartment and moved in with him. This wasn't love, it was just two lonely, broken people finding solace in each other. One who built himself up by tearing her down, that was a level of control he thrived on.

Iori placed her hand against the door of the master bathroom taking a moment before opening it. Aware of his lingering form in the living room she would pass by on her way to the door. She hated the way her heart pounded in her chest, as though she were afraid of him. Aren't you? You are afraid of him, he can't physically hurt you…but look at who he's turned you into?

"I'm leaving," Utahime told him, watching as he ignored her, his attention on his phone, on whoever he was talking with, his tone light, cheerful and his laugh…she couldn't get him to laugh like that anymore. He hadn't even glanced in her direction as he smiled softly at who was on the other line. His rich tones filled the house as she left. When did things get so bad? Why had she let them fall to this point, was she not fighting hard enough?

"Whatever," she whispered as she slung her bag over her shoulder and took the stairs down to the parking lot. Her fingers jerked the car door open as she slid inside, resting her head on the steering wheel as her phone rang. She contemplated ignoring it, but as the ring tone started again, she answered it.

"You're late," The blonde pressed when the call had connected. The exasperation in his voice, caused her to give a watery laugh that somehow froze the sounds mid-argument between Gojo and Geto. She couldn't see how the silver-haired man had glanced sharply at Kento behind his mask, as he curled his hand against the tabletop. His features lost the jovial look so many associated with him.

Geto leaned back in the booth, his attention on Kento as he crossed his arms over his chest, whatever they had been discussing long forgotten. It was unusual to hear Iori sound upset like that.

Kento arched a brow, frowning at the sound, but kept going like he hadn't heard it. "We're waiting for you, are you on your way?" His tone had gentled considerably, usually, his brash manner wasn't an issue, so he believed something else was going on. He was probably only one privy to her relationship problems, she refused to have Gojo make fun of her, for her inability to keep a man. He was one to talk; he went through women like they were a dime a dozen, all to hide from the one he really wanted. Geto was just Geto, if she wanted someone to pacify her, that's who she would go to.

Iori balled her hands against the steering wheel, an apology on her lips, but she held it back. "I know," she told him, taking another breath before she repeated herself, her tone more her casusual than he was used to hearing. "Yeah, I'll be there soon," she promised as her car started in the background before she hung up to Kento telling her to be careful.

"Nanami," she muttered over her beer, her hands tightening on the cold bottle. This was part of her meet up with her friends Nanami Kento and Satoru Gojo, they tried for once a month, but this was the first one she had joined in a while with work and to try to avoid another fight with Katsuya, lately, he'd been distant, cold. The silent treatment, his passive-aggressive approach, when she did something he didn't like, but this went beyond that. It was as though he had been distancing himself for a while. Writing her out of his life.

She felt unworthy like there was something wrong with her. His words meant to put her down, had worked, not at the time…but as the months grew. They succeeded in cracking her armor and tearing down all of her self-confidence.

"What is it?" Kento asked, leaning back against his seat as he set down his whisky. He stepped his fingers as he gave her his full attention. His glasses hid his eyes but hadn't missed the makeup she wore to hide her scar. He watched Geto and Satoru from over her shoulder shooting pool. The game was getting heated between them.

She fidgeted with her drink, her fingernail beginning to peel at the label. A nervous tick as she looked away from him out to the dance floor. She kept her hair down, her hair hiding the side of her face. "Am I unattractive?" She asked him softly. The words were low enough he almost didn't hear her.

He saw her shoulders hunch up for just a moment before she let her fingers brush back her hair and took a sip of her beer, her brown eyes slamming shut. "Don't answer that," she told him quickly. He frowned, glancing upward in surprise to see Satoru right behind her. He let his shades drop on his nose, his whole body tense. His blue eyes were murderous as they clashed with his own.

"Let's play doubles," he told them, as his arm snagged around her shoulders, the movement as he drew her against his side was supposed to be casual. To Kento though it looked a little possessive.

"Why would I be on your team?" She asked as her hand raised to press against his cheek as he tried to get closer.

"C'mon Hime, together we can beat Geto and Nanami. It'll be fun!"

"Fat chance, I don't want to play."

"Are you scared you'll lose?" He muttered against her ear, his tone low and teasing. Losing the charisma from earlier. This quiet intensity was something she'd been drawn to when they had been in school together.

Utahime can't hide the shiver that traveled down her body. She hated what he could do to her. Her childish, one-sided crush had been put to rest a long time ago. Or so she had thought, he could still affect her. How pathetic

Her nails dig into her palm. "You just want your money back," she deadpanned but pressed her palms against the table as she stood up. Her choice was clearly made.

"By the way," Satoru said as he stepped back, giving her a little space, his features serious. "You look better without makeup," he told her, his fingers tilting her chin up, as his thumb brushed under her hidden scar as his eyes met hers.

It was for just a moment, but her emotions flashed across her face, the alcohol making it impossible to hide. Her throat was tight, and her eyes were bright. Her heart was hammering in her chest.

Gojo gave her a slight smirk before his hand dropped and he was spinning on his heel and striding over to Geto as he claimed a doubles rematch from halfway across the bar.

Kento had never seen people more obvious in his life as he was once again privy to this dance between them. Neither made the move to be more than friends…but it was obvious to all their friends there was something there. The potential for so much more.

Utahime excused herself to the restroom and Satoru watched her go from halfway across the bar. "Idiots," Kento muttered to himself as he drowned the rest of his drink, before making his way over to the pool tables.

They claimed the pool table for most of the night. Satoru was careful with how much he drank as Iori drank more than usual. She had three beers and never more; tonight was different. He noticed far too much about her, more than he did with anyone else. He could read her moods, the changes in her features, or her body language that gave her away. He didn't care to figure out anyone else.

Some would ask him why he bothered, why he cared and his answer would be an almost boyish grin at first that would morph into his trademark smirk as he came up with an answer of deflection. Not even he wanted to admit that what he felt for her was anything besides the friendship they shared, but he knew and he ignored it. Finding enjoyment in other people, which were poor substitutes, but it was how he chose to spend his time in the friend zone. Nothing had truly changed, they still bickered and fought, and he loved to make her jealous, things were good between them…at least it had been.

Things changed after she'd started dating that prick, no longer was the jealousy coming from her. No, he'd been pissed when she'd mentioned she was seeing someone, how she'd so shyly admitted to going on a date. He'd considered crashing her date, but Geto and Nanami knew him all too well and had intervened.

The only logical step forward was for the two to date, obviously anyone with eyes could see how beautiful she was, how kind and how strong.

It wasn't that surprising when the two of them hadn't gotten along. He'd played well while Hime was around or within earshot, but Katsuya had called him out one evening a few months into their group get-togethers. They played darts, competing really, while Nanami watched as Iori discussed a rather severe conversation with Geto at their table.

"She agreed to move in with me," Those words and that smug grin as their eyes had collided caused him to miss his shot. His emotions were not as easily hidden as he'd like. "That won't be an issue, will it?" he asked him. The dark-haired man leaned his hip against the discarded table next to them, his arms crossed and looking far too smug.

Satoru hesitated, his mind flashing with scenes that he wanted to ignore. He forced a grin, his eyes sliding shut behind his shades. "She chose you," he said nonchalantly as he stepped closer to him, invading his personal space, the other was just an inch or two shorter than him. Gojo clamped his hand tightly across his shoulder, squeezing just enough that the other narrowed his eyes at him, angry with how strong he was despite his looks. "Break her heart and I'll break your neck," he warned Iori's lover, as his blue eyes clashed with his own before the other tried to shrug him off. "How long have you been in love with her? "He asked curiously, his tone low and intrigued, but there was an edge to his voice. "Does it really matter?" he asked him as he tightened his grip. Katsuya merely shrugged as he considered his question. "No, I suppose it doesn't," he admitted as Gojo released him before the other turned away and paused "Remember what I said," he warned him before retreating back to the others for only a moment before he was gone.

He was brought back to the present as Iori's voice filtered along his ear. He shivered, unable to help himself, as he turned his attention to look down at her. She cocked a brow up at him and grinned the smile wide and her laughter that filtered up told him just how intoxicated she actually happened to be, her hand had pressed against his shoulder and she'd cozied up to him a little more than she would normally when sober. "Quit staring at her," she told him, the laughter dying immediately as she narrowed her brown eyes at him as she began to turn away from him. "It's your turn."

Frowning Gojo didn't understand what she meant before he raised his eyes to see who he'd been staring at as he was lost in the past. He frowned and dragged his gaze away from the pretty blonde as he let his fingers graze her wrist. "Jealous Utahime?" he teased, keeping his voice calm, but inwardly he was kicking himself for the way this was going. His default was a deflection, afraid to ruin what they had together, it was one of the reasons he held back. He was too afraid to lose her.

The silver-haired man felt her tense under his hold and his grip loosened in an instant, but he didn't release her. Her silence was unusual, usually, she was so quick to shove off his obvious teasing and flirting, but she said something he'd not been expecting. "A little" her admission was so quiet, when she'd bowed her head for a moment he was sure he wasn't supposed to hear the truth fall from her lips.

He spent too long debating how to go about this, as she twisted out of his hold, and shoved her pull stick against his chest, which he caught out of reflex. They had been sharing since the games had started. "You wish," she told him hotly, her smile though was forced and he saw the uncertainty in her eyes.

Had he pressed her, goaded her…he might have been able to press his advantage, but this wasn't how he wanted to find out, not after an obvious fight with her boyfriend. Not when she was drunk enough that she probably wouldn't remember any meaningful conversation he wanted to have with her. "You're right about that Princess," he told her as his mouth spit out words he knew he needed to take back, but even he couldn't rewind time. The growled edge to his words caused her eyes to widen and she faltered for a moment lost for words.

Nanami, ever the one to keep things punctually, cleared his throat and gestured toward the pool table. "Let's finish this round, I still have to get you all home at a decent hour," came his flat rebuke.

"That's not funny," she hissed at him, as she jabbed her finger against his chest before she pulled away from him and moved toward Kento, effectively shutting him out.

Geto slid up to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I wouldn't do anything yet, remember they haven't broken up yet." Satoru sighed softly at his words, as his fingers tightened on the cue stick. "I know," he muttered as he stepped toward the table and let his gaze slide toward the balls on the table, roaming over the striped and solid balls, aware that he and Iori were stripes.

He leaned over the table his gaze on the twelve before he let his stick strike the cue ball with too much force, as the ball strike the side of the table and ricocheted across the other side, causing the twelve to hide the number two ball and roll into the corner pocket effectively giving the other team an advantage. Damn it

Iori frowned from where she watched with Kento and found her attention drifting to Gojo as his usual poise and control were absent during his turn.

She didn't dwell on him as Kento balanced his stick between his legs and drew her into the lull of conversation about work, and other things before eventually getting around to what he really wanted to know.

Their game had ended and instead of anyone being quick to leave, they had stayed for another. "How are you and Katsuya doing?" He asked gently watching Geto and Satoru begin to get into another hushed conversation that had side glances thrown their way and it gave Nanami a headache just watching them.

Iori let her attention wander to the young people in the crowd. The pretty young ladies dressed to impress, even at a bar like this. It made sense though this was very much a college hangout for a lot of people and it was where they hung out too. Her fingers lingered at her covered scar before she dropped her hand. Her fingers are hidden in her lap. "They're great! Never better!" She told him brightly as she forced a smile on her lips and closed her eyes hoping to hide the emotion behind them.

"You know -" he said gently as he let his attention divert to regard those around him. "It's ok if it's not going well. You can make the decision to end it. Another option is counseling, I know someone I can give you their card."

She felt her heart racing, she wasn't sure why she was hiding the truth. A misguided attempt to hold on to the choices she made. To prove she could handle this on her own? She had people she could rely on and yet she was still pushing them away.

"I can handle it," she pressed further as she stood up from the table and let her fingers ghost through his hair as her lips met his cheek. "I appreciate the concern Nanami," she told him earnestly before she slipped away, telling him she'd be back.

She'd just slipped out of the ladies' restroom when a rough calloused hand drew her against his chest. His arms encircled her, entrapped her. "Gojo," she said softly with a huff of breath, as she raised her eyes to meet his.

This wasn't that unusual, this sort of thing happened often when they both let their control lapse and found themselves tangled together. Fuzzy memories the next day as neither would admit to remembering. Always hoping the other would make the first move.

"Hime, you're not happy," he muttered against her ear as he felt her fingers tighten in the material of his shirt. A small admission to his words.

"Don't," he snapped, as his fingers brushed her cheek in the darkness, ghosting over her chin forcing her to look at him. "Admit it to yourself at least."

Instead of answering him, she arched up on her toes, her mouth claiming his and he groaned softly, her tongue sliding inside to dance with his own. His arms dragged her closer, tighter. Refusing to let her go at least for tonight, for right now.

Satoru knew he shouldn't make this move, but he didn't care, he couldn't help himself. He certainly wasn't about to deny her after she made the decision to kiss him, like her life depended on it. He would give her everything. He would show her how worthy, how beautiful she was to him.

"I wish you would give me a chance to show you how much I love you," his soft words into her hair as he held her for a time after he'd broken their kiss before things could get any further out of hand. He wanted her to remember this, well into the sober haze of tomorrow. "You deserve the world and someone who puts your first, who loves everything about you."

Iori was quiet, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as tears silently fell down her cheeks. Guilt ate away at her and yet there was a sense of rightness, that they fit. It went beyond tonight and it scared her, scared her in ways she had never expected.

It was one of the reasons she had never accepted his advances and their drunken escapades aside from what they were. He never admitted his feelings sober and she hadn't been able to see his teasing as little more than harmless flirting when he went home with a different woman just about every other week.

So this whatever it was, was harmless…an illusion, that would fade with the rising sun as it always had.

She let him wipe her eyes and listen to her admissions of the truth she had hidden from Nanami, because come morning it would once again be like this conversation had never happened.

Nothing changed for them, perhaps that was their safety net. Or perhaps it was hers.

All too soon, did she return to the apartment she shared with Katsuya. It wasn't a home, it had become a cage with a pretty view. She closed her eyes for a moment as she sank down the door. She didn't bother to get up just yet.

Eventually, she got up, changed her clothes, and crawled into her side of the bed, careful not to wake Katsuya's sleeping form.

His arms curled around her middle and drew her closer. He may not love her, but that didn't mean he didn't have any expectations.


A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this first dive into my attempt at the Jujutsu Kaisen Fandom! This will probably only be another chapter or two before things wrap up, but I'd love to know what you think!

~AJ Aviary
Ajaviary (Tumblr)
Hallows Eve (AO3)