SUMMERY:-
Merlin has magic and the power to do what ever it takes to ensure Arthur's safety in that dreadful battle, but just how far would he go in-order for it to work and who would he sacrifice. In those dark days after the battle those that are left must come to terms with the loss of their friends. As the days go by some begin to doubt what they actually witnessed is not what actually happened.
THE AFTERMATH
Arthur stood looking at the battlefield tired and exhausted. The last battle he would ever be involved in and one that would go down in history; one he had been a part of. It resembled more like a disaster area as bodies lay strewn across the plains. Limbs lay scattered for miles to see as Arthur walked amongst the dead, whilst his Knights also succumbed to the atrocities. He too had been injured, a near fatal blow struck near his heart…yet he was still alive. He owed his life to Merlin, for it was he who had warned him of what was to happen, and for once in his life he had actually listened.
Not all had died though in the bloody battle. Arthur checked the fallen warriors, Elyan, Lancelot, Leon, Mordred all gone in one go. He cared very little for his sister Morgana's body. If it hadn't been for her this would never have happened in the first place and as for Mordred, well it was he who tried to kill him.
Some had survived, Gwaine and Percival were still standing, although cut and badly bleeding. One person was unaccounted for, his loyal and trusted servant. The bravest one of all, although at times you would never have thought it. Not a Knight of the round table, not anything special. Just a servant who had joined him on this tragic mission. So where was he now alive, dead, injured …no one knew. He hadn't been seen since the battle started and he wouldn't have run away …not Merlin.
Arthur continued to search among the bodies. Merlin had to be there surely…but where? His men encouraged him to leave, return to Camelot while there was still light. He couldn't do that, he wouldn't do that, not while there was a chance of finding more alive. One last look and then he noticed it, a fallen body in a heap covered in blood. Arthur hadn't noticed this body before as he stood staring down at it. He didn't need to turn the body over to see who it was; it was obvious by the clothing that he wore. Looking back at his men; as if seeking consent to go ahead; he turned the body over. The body of a young man stared up at him, his eyes still open. The soul of the body had gone, life extinct. Arthur stood in silence, his knees buckling beneath him collapsing in horror at the face staring back at him. His loyal servant and his only true friend Merlin was dead.
It seemed a long time before Arthur could let go of Merlin's body, holding him against his chest, tears cascading down his face as he tried to hide it from his men. Life would never be the same again, life without Merlin wouldn't be worth living. He lay his body back down, kissing his forehead in respect. Arthur placed his fingers over Merlin's eyes shutting them permanently for one last time. He covered his body with his cape, protecting him from the elements, that was the least he could do for his friend.
His Knights encouraged him to retreat, to go back to Camelot and seek more men for a rescue mission. They couldn't leave the bodies there; they deserved a decent burial. That would be the one last thing Arthur could do for his men, but go they must for now at least. Their intention was to return tomorrow, to retrieve the bodies and take them home. However, when they returned the shock of their lives greeted them. For when they approached the area where Merlin's body lay, they were greeted with the one thing they could never have foreseen. All that remained was the cape Arthur had placed over him. Merlin's body had disappeared, gone without a trace of it ever being there in the first place.
Arthur stood in silence, eventually turning to his men. "Tell me I'm dreaming this? This is not happening?" he asked his Knights.
"No not a dream, definitely not a dream." Gwaine answered him looking as mortified as Arthur.
"Then what is it? Bodies don't get up and walk away." Arthur stated as he still couldn't believe his eyes.
"Well Merlin's did," Percival said stating the obvious.
"Not helping Percival, really not helping." Arthur answered looking at him, "We are in the right place, look my cape is still here," he told them as he pointed to it.
"I'm lost for words," Gwaine said.
"That'll be a first then," Percival looked at him trying not to smile.
"He was actually dead Sire? I mean you could be wrong." Gwaine asked him, trying his best to make sense of the unexplained situation.
"I held him…" Arthur said angrily, "…he was definitely dead."
"Well unless he has magic …" Percival tried to say.
"I've had enough of your suggestions. If you can't say anything sensible, I suggest you keep your mouth shut." Arthur said angrily at what Percival was saying, whilst putting him in his place.
Arthur looked around searching for evidence of Merlin … there was nothing. He held back the tears. Men of Camelot do not cry in front of others and he wasn't going to let his men see his weaker side. "Let's get home," he said to his remaining Knights. Walking past Percival he gave him an angry stare. "One more word from you and I'll happily make you one of the fallen," he said, striding past him.
Percival shrugged his shoulders, lifting his hands out. "What!" he said looking at Gwaine.
"You can be so insensitive at times."
"And you're not?"
"Not today," Gwaine said angrily. "I might just join Arthur and kill you myself," he said walking briskly away, before the need to punch him materialised.
The brave men they could not rescue, they honoured with a descent burial. The journey back to Camelot was long and arduous, silence prevailing throughout. Arthur rode alone, not wanting to join in trivial conversation, especially with Percival at this time. Arthur was inconsolable, full of grief and anger. He still couldn't make sense of what he had just witnessed. "Bodies don't just disappear," he said to himself, "they just don't."
Gaius watched Arthur from the vesper's window as the party arrived back at Camelot with the remaining fallen warriors. He stood watching as they lifted the bodies off the horses one by one.
Arthur found Gaius in the corridor waiting for his arrival. This was to be the one thing in his life that he would gladly have given to someone else. Telling Gaius about Merlin would not only break his heart, but Gaius' too.
"Gaius," Arthur said facing him.
"Merlin?"
Arthur shook his head, "I'm so sorry Gaius."
"He's dead?"
"Yes, he was brave to the end," he told him. He couldn't be sure as Merlin had not been seen from the start of the battle.
"You brought him home?"
"No!"
"Are you telling me you left him there?"
"Gaius can we go and sit down? I think you deserve to know the truth. I need to tell you what happened."
"I think you'd better," Gaius said, distraught and upset.
Arthur walked in silence with Gaius to his private chambers. Ushering Gaius to sit, he took in a deep breath fighting back the tears. Arthur pulled up his chair and sat next to him taking hold of his hand, something that he would never have done before.
"Just tell me please," Gaius pleaded.
"I will but are you sure you want to hear everything?"
"Merlin was the son I never had Arthur. I want to know his final hours on this earth."
"Well as you know initially Merlin was not there. I did wonder why he backed out suddenly, but as the battle started, he just appeared from nowhere. We were being hounded from the right side, so I sent, well ordered really, Merlin to go to the left. It wouldn't be so bad from that side, and I could handle the right side easily with my men. Merlin insisted he could handle himself and before I could do anything Merlin ran into the battle. That was the last time I saw him alive…" Arthur paused taking a deep breath, compiling himself to continue. "…I never saw him after that, not until we found his body."
Gaius sat with bated breath, "Go on."
"We lost most of my main Knights. We searched well into the night for the fallen. Merlin's body was the last to be found. I held him in my arms as he stared up at me…"
"He was still alive then?"
"No, he had died, but his eyes remained open. I laid him back down, closed his eyes and covered him with my cape. We left the fallen overnight and came back home to gather more men. That's why I didn't say anything to you at the time, something I will regret for the rest of my life now. When we went back the following day…" Arthur stopped mid-sentence.
"What?" Gaius said knowing full well it was something he didn't want to hear.
"…Merlin's body had gone. It was as if he was never really there. I can't explain it Gaius, I'm as baffled as the rest of them."
"You were hurt as well by the look of it." Gaius said noticing Arthur bleeding from his wound.
"It's nothing compared to the dead."
"You must let me look at you?"
"No Gaius, you need to grieve like the rest of us."
"Arthur I'm a physician first, that is my duty. Now lie on the bed and let me take a look." Giaus rose from his chair beckoning Arthur to go and lie down.
Arthur reluctantly made his way to his bed. Disobeying Gaius now would be considered an insult. He sat himself down, lifting his shirt up past his chest. Flinching with the pain now as it began to set in, he allowed Gaius to lay his hand on his wound. He grimaced in discomfort as he took in a deep breath, finding it hard to do so. Looking into Gaius' eyes, he could tell his injury was far worse than he was admitting. Arthur didn't care, if death was his punishment, he would gladly except it. Why did he survive when others perished? Why did Merlin die and not him?
"Sire," Gaius said interrupting Arthur's deep thoughts.
"How bad?"
"The blade entered near your heart, but didn't pierce it or you would be dead."
"Pity it didn't."
"You don't mean that."
"Don't I, it's an easy solution for us all."
"You are the King, you have a duty." Gaius tried to convince Arthur, but to no avail.
"What's the point of living if everything you value, everything you care for is taken away."
"You mean your parents?"
"And Merlin," Arthur answered bowing his head to hide his tears.
"Yes, and Merlin. I miss him too Arthur, there will never be another like him again."
"No there won't …" Arthur was interrupted with a knock on his door. He quickly pulled down his shirt to hide his wound from whoever was about to enter.
"Sire," Gwaine said entering the room with Percival.
"What can I do for you?"
"Just to let you know that we placed the bodies in the council chamber."
"Very well, thank you. Have someone stand guard outside overnight. I don't care who."
"Sire?" Gwaine said confused.
"They at least deserve that from us."
Gaius stood listening, watching, animosity growing. "Are you two injured as well?"
"Nothing we can't fix ourselves. Just another battle scar, no big deal."
"I will be the judge of that. The pair of you go to my chambers and I will meet you there. If you need treatment, I will give it." Gaius said assertively.
Arthur aware of his tone simply nodded to his men. Mouthing the words "do it," out of Gaius' view.
"Very well, if you insist," Gwaine answered.
"I do."
The Knights left heading to Gaius' chamber as he continued with his duties once more. "I can stitch the wound My Lord, but it may never fully heal."
"Do whatever it takes, I can live with it."
Gaius reached in his medical bag which fortunately he had brought with him. Grabbing needle and thread, he painfully stitched up Arthur's wound carefully and with precision.
Gwaine and Percival entered the chambers awaiting Gaius' arrival. The last time they had been there Merlin was alive, now he was gone and never coming back. Neither of them said a word, but they felt it, the saddened feeling of grief that would never be the same again.
"I've finished My Lord, " Gaius watched as the tears fell down Arthur's face, unsure if it was tears of pain or tears of grief.
"You should just rest for a while now. Would you like me to send over some pain relief?"
"No, I can take the pain, but thank you anyway."
"Don't be such a martyr Arthur."
"It's fine, if it gets too bad, I will send a guard down to get some."
"Well, I will be going now. I have two more patients to probably stitch up." Gaius said leaving for his chambers, determined to keep busy to fend off the overwhelming grief raging through his body.
Gaius walked slowly back to see Gwaine and Percival. He was unsure how he would cope from now on without Merlin. It was as if Merlin has always been there, but it had only been a few years since he had arrived. Taking a deep breath, acting professionally he entered his chamber door.
"Right you lot, who wants to go first?" he asked them, both acting as though they didn't hear. "No volunteers? Right Percival you're first."
"What! Why me?"
"Because someone has to be first, and I am choosing you."
Gwaine nudged Percival's arms encouraging him to step forward. "Go on then."
Percival stepped forward, as brave as he was it still concerned him having stitches put in. Gaius made it look quick and easy causing less discomfort as possible. He did the same for Gwaine with less treatment required. Both sat in silence afterwards …dare they say anything? Would they be able to talk to Gaius without upsetting him?
"We are so sorry for you Gaius." Percival said walking up to him, placing his arm around his shoulder in comfort.
"I know, it isn't your fault. It just seems so unfair, Merlin had much more to achieve in his life. He shouldn't have died yet, it's to soon."
"He will be well remembered from all of us. I know I'm going to miss him deeply." Gwaine said sadly.
"I think you both better go, before you have me in tears."
"Take care, you know where we are if you need anything." Percival added softly.
"I do and thank you."
Night time was fast approaching. The day had gone by so fast …too fast. Gaius had avoided entering Merlin's room during the day, but he felt the need to go as the nightmare continued. He took a slow walk up the steps, plucking up the courage to enter through the door. The bed was made neatly, the last thing Merlin had done in his room. He sat down on the bed feeling the blanket that Merlin had touched. He tidied the room placing Merlin's clothes neatly folded on his bed, then he hid his magical items out of sight of prying eyes. Discovering a book he hadn't known existed he sat down to read it. It contained Merlin's adventures with Arthur, graphic details of his magic. The more he read the more he discovered. He could no longer hide his grief as the tears started to flow.
The log fire crackled and hissed as Arthur stood looking out of his chamber window. Watching the courtyard below there was an eerie silence. It was dead, Camelot was dead, most of the courtier's and villages would have died in the battle as well. Arthur couldn't keep tally on all of them. He saw the fire in the reflection of the mirror, warming and comforting. The only lights emitting from the room beside the fire light were some candles scattered around in certain positions, giving comfort to Arthur. Looking at the reflection from the mirror Arthur convinced himself he saw a shadow of a person, an unexplained image of Merlin. Was Merlin really there in the room with him or was it just his imagination? Alone and in the dark, he gave way to his feelings, his anger and his sadness overwhelming him as the tears flowed freely down his cheeks.
Arthur composed himself after his breakdown, headed to the door he asked the guard to sound the bell to toll all night for the fallen. It was far too quiet for Arthur and he felt it would be a mark of respect. He had eaten very little despite food being sent to his room, but had drunk some wine for emotional support. He began to feel tired as his eyes became heavy, had the wine made him this way? Giving in to his feelings he took himself to bed, his eyes closing fast, they could no longer remain open. He began to dream, then the dream turned into a nightmare, "Mer-lin" he screamed out loud as he watched him run into the battle, "No…" His eye's opened to a figure standing in front of him.
"Hello Arthur."
"Merlin!" Arthur shouted as he sat bolt upright, regretting it immediately.
"Yes."
Arthur was aghast as he rubbed his eyes. "This isn't happening," he said confused.
"But it is happening Arthur."
"Why are you here Merlin?"
"I am your imagination."
"No, you are not real, you're dead."
"I'm as real as you want me to be. I am spiritual caught between reality and the afterlife."
"Why?"
"Because of you Arthur, you need to let go."
"This is not happening," Arthur said once again, more confused than ever, but at the same time pleased to see Merlin once more.
Merlin stood in the room, feeling Arthur's pain. "I died for you Arthur so that you could live."
"And I am grateful, but you shouldn't have to done that for me."
"It was my destiny to protect you Arthur. Whenever you reach for me I will do all that I can. I will be by your side until the day you die. I will guide you to be the greatest of Kings and unite Albion for ever more."
"Now I know I'm going mad."
"Are you sure about that?"
Arthur closed his eyes for a mere second, but long enough for Merlin to disappear once more. He opened is eyes again to see Merlin was gone. "Merlin …Merlin …" he screamed at the top of his voice.
A guard entered his room on hearing the disturbance. "Fetch Gaius," he ordered to the other guard. "My Lord are you alright?"
"Merlin was here, did you see him leave?" Arthur asked as beads of sweat ran down his forehead and pain set in through his body. He sat himself down by his table, "What the hell is happening to me?"
Gaius was unsettled, he was to upset too even contemplating sleeping. The knock on his door at an ungodly hour was a welcome distraction.
"Sorry to disturb you so late Gaius, but I think you should come and see Arthur?" said one of the guards.
"What's wrong?"
"Let's put it this way Arthur is screaming for Merlin."
"Ah right," Gaius wasn't actually surprised. "I will be along shortly."
Arthur was still sitting at his table as Gaius entered his room. Arthur's eyes were swollen with tears, his head buried in his hands.
"Sire?"
Arthur lifted his head trying to focus. "Why am I not dead?"
"Sorry Sire, I'm not sure I understand?"
"Why am I not dead?"
"Because it is not you time."
"Oh and it was Merlin's time?"
"Merlin would do anything to keep you safe Arthur, even committing the ultimate sacrifice if he had to," Gaius said sitting himself down.
"Well he shouldn't have to do that."
"Merlin is more special than you realise."
"I'm beginning to realise that now."
"I have something for you to take, it will help with your pain."
"Physically or emotionally?" Arthur asked.
"Both."
"I don't want it."
"I'm not telling you to take it, I'm ordering you to take it." Gaius said being assertive.
"I'm still the King …Gaius, you can't order me to do anything."
"Well I'm the physician and what I say goes. Now take it before I pour it down your throat." Gaius said handing him a vial of medicine.
"You wouldn't?" Arthur said with a slight smile breaking through. He saw Gaius' look, "You would."
"I think you better go back to bed now."
"Do you think I actually saw Merlin? It didn't seem as though I imagined it."
"Truthfully Sire, you probably did."
"That actually gives me comfort."
"Get a good night's sleep and we will talk tomorrow." Gaius was himself contented at the thought of Merlin's power being able to come back from the dead.
THE TRUTH WILL OUT
Despite everything Arthur slept well after the incident. Contented now he had seen Merlin again, but confused as to how that could have happened. He rose early to see George standing in front of him.
"Morning My Lord."
"What, oh yes good morning." Arthur said blurry eyed.
"Your breakfast is ready; it is on the table. Do you require anything else this morning?"
"I will need my Armour cleaned after yesterday."
"Sire?"
"I don't think that was a difficult statement, do you?"
"But…" George was a little confused, "your Armour is already cleaned and polished."
"You've already done it? You are eager."
"No Sire, I haven't cleaned it. It was already cleaned and ready when I saw it this morning."
"What!" Arthur answered stunned. "How can that be?"
"I am unsure Sire?"
"Leave me alone now please." Arthur couldn't get around what George had just said. He sat in silence eating for the first time since the battle had started. He didn't realise just how famished he really was as he tucked into what George had brought him.
Gwaine knocked on Arthur's door, waiting for his answer to come in. Arthur stood up to answer the door rather than shout.
"Gwaine, what can I do for you this time?"
"Can I have a word?"
"About what?"
"Yesterday."
"I really don't want to bring that subject up again. It is over now, let it be."
"Here me out." Gwaine was insisting that Arthur at least listen.
"Well, what is it then?"
"Here me out before you jump to conclusions."
"Go on then." Arthur stated getting frustrated.
"Well, I started thinking last night, not being able to sleep, about Merlin's body disappearing. What if, and only if mind you, that someone did move his body…"
"Why would they. That's a preposterous idea."
"Is it? If he was dead, he couldn't have walked away."
"Not this again. Now you're going to tell me Merlin has magic just like Percival said and you know what happened there. I've had half a mind to strip him of his Knighthood."
"Really?" Gwaine said surprised and left wondering if he dare go on with idea. "I was just thinking about riding out again today to see if we can find Merlin's body in a different place."
Arthur was aghast, "You want to do what?"
"Sire…"
"No Gwaine, after last night I really don't think you will find Merlin's body at Camlann. You obviously heard what happened."
"Um…yes I have."
"Well it was only a dream, my imagination. It seems I can't let go, or so I've been told."
"Well in that case …" Gwaine began but stopped himself before he regretted his words.
"Why hasn't Percival come with you?" Arthur asked changing the subject.
"He's avoiding you, especially after yesterday."
"I was angry then, tell him it's okay and not to worry."
"What do you want to do with the remaining bodies Arthur?"
"We will arrange for a funeral pyre tomorrow. Those that wish to pay their respect can do so today. I'll let you organise that."
"Very well, if that's is what you wish." Gwaine said leaving the room as Gwen entered.
"Guinevere, I'm so sorry I forgot all about you. How are you after losing your brother?"
"Not good if I'm honest," Gwen said upset.
Arthur moved towards Gwen giving her a comforting hug. "It will be alright; I promise you that."
"Arthur …I heard Merlin …"
"Was dead," Arthur said finishing the sentence. "Yes, sadly he is."
"Oh God, how many more have died?"
"Too many if I'm honest."
"Are you okay?"
Arthur lifted his shirt up showing Gwen his battle wound. Gwen placed her hands over the area gently touching it as Arthur flinched in discomfort.
"Sorry am I hurting you?"
Arthur shook his head, "It's fine, Gaius has given me some pain relief which is helping. I'm going to go and see him in a minute."
"I'll be going then. Take care of yourself," Gwen said kissing his cheek taking Arthur by surprise. "I will see you later," she said before leaving.
Gaius remained busy taking medication to the villagers, it was the only way he could cope with his grief.
Arthur walked gingerly, holding his wound as he made his way towards Gaius' chambers. He felt an overwhelming sadness as he entered; Gaius was not there. He felt a necessity to go to Merlin's room, as if it would give him comfort, but instead it gave him more sadness. He noticed Merlin's clothes neatly on his bed, with his personal belongings laid preciously in prime position. He placed his hands on Merlin's clothes, jumping slightly as he felt a strange feeling emanating through his body. The sound of the door opening as Gaius entered broke Arthur's connection with Merlin. He stepped out of his room to greet Gaius.
"Hope you don't mind that I came in with you not here?"
"You were in Merlin's room?"
"Yes, I needed to go in there. It was as if Merlin was calling me."
"Arthur come and sit down, I would like to talk to you? I have something to tell you.
Arthur pulled up a chair, sitting himself down.
"Are you okay this morning? Does your wound dressing need changing?"
"No Gaius it's fine and don't change the subject."
"I want to tell you a story and I want you just to listen. You must not interrupt until I'm finished."
"Very well," Arthur said intrigued.
Gaius composed himself for what he was about to say. "Many years ago a baby boy was born to a local village women. The boy was thought to be nothing special until he reached his third birthday. Suddenly his mother noticed something special about her son, he suddenly could move objects with the power of his mind. He used it for fun, but with magic outlawed his mother was worried. When he came of age he was sent away in-order to protect him. He was sent to stay with his mother's friend who was hopefully going to guide him with his magic. He had a great destiny on his shoulders, but it was more like a burden for the young lad. Over the years he discovered what his destiny was to be, to protect and guide a certain person to be the greatest person they could possibly be. As time went on his magical powers increased. He had his own name, but the Druids knew him by the name Emyrs. He would go on to be the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth."
Arthur sat forward, "Do I know this sorcerer? It sounds as if I do."
"Yes Arthur you do. He has been in Camelot for several years now."
"A sorcerer in Camelot!" Arthur said angrily.
"Sire, the sorcerer's mother came from Ealdor and was called…"
"Hunith." Arthur said filling in the missing pieces.
"Yes. So the sorcerer was called …"
"Merlin!" Arthur continued furiously.
"Don't judge him Arthur. He did so much more than you will ever know. He saved you and your family's life on more than one occasion. That isn't bad magic, that is the good side of it. Don't you taint his name, he doesn't deserve that."
"Why did he never tell me?"
"Because he feared what you would do to him."
"So why did he not appear initially at the beginning of the battle?"
"The night before the battle, you were all down the Tavern."
"Where Merlin won all the money. I suppose now he used magic to win?"
"Knowing Merlin, he probably did." Gaius said smiling at the thought of Merlin being mischievous.
"We had a good laugh that night, before we knew what was going to happen." Arthur answered remembering it well.
"Well when Merlin came home he was attacked in his room. Morgana had planted something that stripped him of his magic. He was so upset and mortified, that's why when he heard you mention Camlann he knew this was where you were supposed to die. Without his magic he knew he wouldn't be able to protect you."
"So are you saying he sacrificed his life for mine?"
"I know you are angry, but before you cast any judgment you must see and read this first." Gaius said heading towards Merlin's room, closely followed by Arthur. He picked the book up from underneath the bed, handing it over for Arthur to read.
"What is this then?" Arthur asked curiously.
"It's detailed journal of Merlin's adventures with you. Details of what he had to do to protect you. I think it would be really good idea to read it before you judge him."
"I'm not sure I am ready to read this or even accept it."
"You are not your father; you are merely your father's son. Do what you feel is right, not what Uther would do. Remember one thing though, Merlin was and always will be your friend. It would be wise to remember that Arthur."
Arthur took the journal as he headed back to his private chamber. Three simple words played continuously in his mind, "Merlin has magic!" How was that even possible, more importantly how did he never know? Was Merlin so afraid of what he would do that he couldn't even tell him? He entered his room placing the book on the table. He felt an overwhelming urge to read the book, but also too angry to contemplate doing so at this present time. He poured himself a goblet of water and sat down pulling the book towards him.
"Are you not going to read it Arthur?" Arthur heard jumping in shock as he looked up to see his friend once more.
"Merlin why did you never tell me?" Arthur asked as tears of anger filled in his eyes.
"You know why, you would have had me killed."
"You don't know that for sure, and anyway why have you come back?"
"You've been thinking about me again, haven't you?"
"I miss you to damn much. Why did you sacrifice yourself for me?"
"There was no other choice. It was me or you and God knows I've tried on many occasions to sacrifice myself for you and it never really turned out quite right."
"When…how?"
"Read the book Arthur, all will become clear to you then."
"All this time you've been doing this for me?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"It has been written long before either of us were born Arthur. We both have a destiny. You're to become the greatest King and I as your protector would become the greatest sorcerer."
"I don't know if I believe that."
"The people believe in you Arthur, but it counts for nothing if you don't believe in yourself."
"Merlin I can see now how physically and emotionally hurt I have made you feel. Despite all the hurt and knockdowns, you still put other's first and you did it to protect me. You were a loyal and true friend."
"And you now only realise this. There was enough evidence over the years, yet you choose to ignore it?"
"I am so sorry Merlin." Arthur's tears began to flow down his face, "You are my hero."
"Don't she'd your tears for me. No man is worth a person's tears, you told me that."
"And I was obviously wrong."
"As a King you we're wrong on numerous occasions."
"Merlin I would give anything to touch you, hold you again."
"And when the time is right you will get that chance, but for now it can never be."
"Are you saying when I die?"
"You may have a serious injury Arthur, but I can promise you this, it won't kill you yet. You have a life to fill, you must marry and become a father."
"You don't know that will happen?"
"Oh I do know Arthur and the woman you will marry is here in Camelot."
"Who?"
"I'm not going to tell you that, you must discover true love Arthur."
Arthur sat back in his chair, taking in a deep breath . "Surely you…" he started to say only to discover Merlin had gone. "Great you've gone again Merlin," he said to himself.
Arthur pulled the book towards him, Gaius told him to read it before judging Merlin, even Merlin had urged him to read it. What was so important in this book that would make everything become clear? Trembling in fear, Arthur opened the book and started to read.
"My first day here in Camelot didn't go quite as planned. Gaius wasn't ready for me when I arrived and I think I caught him of guard if I'm honest. Never mind, I put it right when I saved him from a fall using my magic. Gaius was furious with me at first warning me not to do anything like that in front of others. That didn't turn out quite as planned when I came across a pompous arrogant person throwing knives at someone whilst they held a board in front of them. All he did was laugh at him and I consider that bullying and I don't like that. I tried to warn him off, but all he did was back answer me. I soon discovered that not only was he arrogant, but he turned out to be Prince Arthur. What did get out of it? Placed in the cells and then in the stocks."
"Could things get any worse? Arthur has challenged me to a fight him, little does he know I have my powers. I could have won against him as I did secretly use my magic against him. I would have won if Gaius hadn't turned up putting me of my guard."
"Attended a banquet with Gaius. Someone used powerful magic, which I was aware of. I managed to put a stop to it, sending down a chandelier to fall on her through mind control. Then she tried to throw a knife to kill Arthur, but I managed to get him to safety by slowing down time. The King made me Arthur's permanent servant, much to both our disgust. Never mind this was to be the start of Merlin's and Arthur's adventures."
Arthur inhaled deeply, regretting it immediately as the pain shot through his body. Compelled to read on he turned over the pages. One more story caught his attention …
"Arthur was shot in the back with an arrow. I told him nothing ever comes out good in the Valley of the fallen Kings, but no he had to go in there. I did everything I could to heal him as his injury became worse. He fell unconscious which gave me a chance to try my magic without him knowing. Sadly my magic was not advanced enough to complete the healing. A Talisman came to my aid, somehow he knew who I was, he called me Emyrs. He was able to heal Arthur and as he slept and healed I was taken to a cave full of Crystal . Apparently it is the birthplace of magic itself. I was shown things I never wanted to experience. The future in the Crystal was there for me to see. I knew what would happen to Arthur and was dreading the day that would come to pass."
"Oh Merlin …you really were unique." Arthur thought to himself searching for another entry.
"One of the things I saw in the Crystal was Morgana trying to kill Uther. To my horror it began to come true. It was Morgana's birthday and Arthur wanted to give her a knife. It was a very bland knife and I was quite pleased as the knife didn't fit my premonition. Then Arthur changed it and everything I saw in the Crystal started coming true. I had to stop Morgana killing Uther, but sadly things went wrong when I tried to stop her, and she fell and hit her head. Arthur's sadness was far too much for me too bear and I had to do something to save her. I spoke to the Great Dragon who gave me the knowledge to help heal her. It wasn't easy, the spell took immense concentration, but I had to do it for Arthur's sake."
Arthur lost track of time; he couldn't believe just what Merlin had carried out of him over the years. He turned to the final page afraid to read the last entry, but he knew he had to.
"Good night last night with Arthur down the Tavern. I used my magic to win all the money. He is so naive at times it's so easy to fool him. I lost my magic when we returned , without my magic I am nothing. I can't protect Arthur if anything happens."
"Morgana has declared war and it is to take place at the battle of Camlann. This is where the prophecy says Arthur will die. I can't help him now, if I don't get my magic back in time, I won't be able to save him. I will have to sacrifice myself in order that Arthur might live. If I can't have magic, I might as well die."
Arthur closed the book as he broke down in tears. He couldn't read any further, he couldn't read about Merlin's ultimate sacrifice that he did for him. Merlin was dead and all because of him. That was the last straw for Arthur. His anger grew, raging within him. He wasn't angry now because Merlin was a sorcerer, he was angry because he gave his life up for him.
THE FINAL SEND OFF
A new day dawned over Camelot and things appeared to come back to life in the village, but not for Arthur, not after what he had read the previous night. He was up and dressed early. Something that he now had to take charge of with no Merlin to help him from now on. Grabbing the book, holding it closely to his chest, he made his way to Gaius.
Gaius sat alone at the breakfast table. He unknowingly had set a place for Merlin, just something he did without thinking. He knew he would never be coming back, but he did it anyway. Gaius had very little sleep, his mind constantly thinking of the young warlock that had come into his life and had made it a much brighter one. The opening of his chamber door brought him back to the present.
"Gaius, can we talk again?" Arthur needed to understand about Merlin's book from a slightly different aspect.
"Forgive me for not standing Sire, I'm a little tired this morning."
"That's fine. I have questions about this that I'm hoping you can help me with." Arthur placed the book next to Gaius as he sat himself down.
"You read it then?"
"Yes, although I wish I hadn't."
"So why did you?"
"Because…Merlin told me to."
"You saw him again then?"
"Last night. When I returned to my chamber, he appeared again, telling me to read the book and all would become clear."
"And did it?"
"I know what Merlin is now, or should I say was. He was more than magic itself, more powerful than anything on this earth. He was special, a very special person whom I'm pleased to have called my friend."
"But?"
"But what?"
"Arthur there is something more isn't there? Something you're not asking."
"He mentioned the dragon. He was able to talk to him wasn't he?"
"Yes, he became a Dragonlord after the death of his father. The power is handed down from father to son. Before Merlin's father died, he told him of the ability that was to become his inheritance.."
"Dragonlord?" He didn't mention that in his book."
"Remember when the dragon escaped and was attacking Camelot …"
"Yes, Merlin mentioned that."
"He didn't say he was the one with the power to set him free."
"You mean Merlin released the dragon?"
"Yes he did, but when you both went to find the then Dragonlord named Balinor, I revealed to Merlin that he was his father."
"That explains why he cried when Balinor died."
"Yes, to just find out who your father was and then lose him soon after was something Merlin couldn't come to terms with."
"If I'd only known I would have…"
"You would have what? Treated him differently? I very much doubt that Arthur. If you had known, it may not have happened as Merlin probably would have been executed."
"Who else knew Merlin had magic?"
"Besides his parents and I, only one other."
"Who was it then?"
"Lancelot."
"How did he know?"
"When you went to kill the magical Griffin and was knocked out, you woke to discover Lancelot had killed the creature."
"Yes, Merlin mentioned that story."
"What he failed to mention was that it was he that cast a spell in order to kill it. Lancelot unfortunately heard him say it. Merlin denied it, but then admitted to Lancelot who he really was."
"And Lancelot never revealed Merlin's secret."
"No, he was his friend and promised never to tell anyone."
"He was loyal to him. I heard Lancelot say once that Merlin was the bravest one of all. He always thought he should have been given a Knighthood. I now know the reason why."
"I very much doubt that Merlin would have accepted a Knighthood. That wasn't what he was about. His magic itself was far more greater than being Knighted."
"Changing the subject…" Arthur hesitated, wondering how to proceed with such a delicate matter.
"I think I know what you are going to say." Gaius said reluctantly.
"What then?"
"Merlin's funeral."
"Sadly yes. We have no body and we probably never will, so how do you want to proceed with this?"
"What are you doing with the other bodies?"
"We will light the funeral pyre's later today. We will say a few words and then …"
"Please stop!"
"Gaius?"
"I can't deal with this, not at the moment."
"Neither can I, but sadly I have no choice. They were my Knights and I led them to their deaths."
"No!" Gaius shouted, startling Arthur. "Morgana sent them to their deaths …not you."
"I was wondering…" Arthur said visibly upset, "…if we all could go back to Ealdor to have a send off for Merlin."
Gaius eyes widened, "That would be very kind of you, but as you said there is no body."
"Merlin's mother doesn't actually know yet…about her son's death I mean."
"She doesn't know? Why haven't you sent word yet?"
"Because I was actually hoping to find his body first, before telling her. She at least deserves to have him back."
"Well you won't be doing that today, so we can think about that later. Concentrate on today's funeral's first and then we can talk about Merlin." Gaius said trying to remain strong, but weakening at the thought of it.
"Did you want to view them before we move them to the pyre?"
Gaius shook his head. The very thought of seeing the bodies brought home without Merlin amongst them, was too much to even contemplate.
"Very well then, I will let you know when we are ready to proceed. You will come Gaius, won't you?"
"Yes, of course I will. If nothing else they were Merlin's friends and I will respect that."
"Thank you." Arthur left, happier than when he'd arrived.
Arthur walked slowly to the council chambers, he had so much to re-arrange and he wanted to say his final goodbyes before the bodies were moved. Heading to the door he noticed Gwaine and Percival standing guard.
"Oh…didn't expect to see you pair standing there."
"It is our last chance to honour them Arthur." Percival said remorseful.
"Is there anyone in there at the moment?"
"Gwen is in there " Gwaine said ready to open the door for him.
"Has she been in there long?"
"Long enough," Percival said. "Why do you ask?"
"Elyan is her brother and she needs personal time alone with him."
"Are you going in then?" Gwaine asked.
Arthur nodded whilst opening the door. He saw Gwen kneeling over her brother crying hysterically.
"Guinevere …"
Gwen looked up to see Arthur standing over her. She rose quickly to stand in front of her King. "Sire, I will be going now."
"No, don't go stay with me for a while . I don't think I can do this alone." Arthur asked, reaching for her hand. "Merlin told me that I would find my future wife here in Camelot. He said she is someone that I know…that someone is you Gwen."
"Sire, I don't think this is the ideal time to declare your love?"
"No time is the right time." Arthur lent forward and kissed Gwen, unknowingly being watched in the far corner by Merlin.
Gaius took the book left behind by Arthur back to Merlin's room. Now Arthur had been made aware of it, he placed the book on the bed with his belongings. There was something about Merlin's room, something he was sensing. He didn't feel grief anymore, he felt an overwhelming peace. He was able to feel Merlin's presence surrounding the room, giving comfort to him. Had he not known any better he would have said that Merlin was actually still alive.
Arthur left the chamber with Gwen after their final goodbyes. He gave the orders to his Knights to prepare to move the fallen to the awaiting pyre. He headed back to his personal chamber ready to change his clothes into his official attire.
The knock Arthur was dreading finally sounded. He stood at his bedroom window looking down on the gathering of people heading towards the funeral area. He turned away from the window to see Percival standing to attention.
"My Lord, are you ready?" Percival asked officially.
Arthur took a deep breath, "Not really, but we better get on with it."
Percival was about to leave when Arthur stopped him. He turned to face him on his own for the first time since arriving home.
"Percival, I want to apologise to you."
"Sire?"
"I was rude to you after the battle and I am sorry. My anger got the better of me and as your King that was wrong."
"I understand Sire. I should've been more sensitive to the situation."
"Yes you could have been a bit more cautious with your words." Arthur said knowing full well now that what he had said about Merlin was actually true.
"Are you ready then?" Percival asked opening the door for his King.
"Yes, let's do this." Arthur said walking reluctantly out of his door for the final farewell to his fallen Knights.
Arthur walked slowly towards the funeral parade, closely followed by Gaius and Guinevere. As he headed to the front he could feel his heart breaking as he held back the tears.
"This is a sad day as we all say farewell to our fallen brothers. I am pleased to see so many of you here as a mark of respect. They were all liked and will be sadly missed." Arthur took a deep breath before carrying on, "Unfortunately there is one who is not with us today. My faithful servant Merlin also perished in the battle, but his body has yet to be found. We will never give up hope of finding him, I will make it my life's ambition to continue the search." Arthur placed himself next to Gwen, carefully slipping his hand into hers grasping it tightly. He gave the nod to both Percival and Gwaine who lit the fire on the pyres.
Arthur waited until everyone had left before moving back inside. Entering his chambers he noticed Gaius waiting for him.
"Very moving Arthur, that was well done."
"I never want to do anything like that again. One is bad enough, but all of them…no thank you."
"What about Merlin, are you seriously going to keep searching for him?"
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I?"
"Because you know full well he isn't there." Gaius said trying to convince Arthur.
"You don't know that," Arthur said fetching himself some water.
"But I do know."
"Gaius what are you not telling me?"
"Nothing," Gaius said unconvincingly.
"Tell me!" Arthur said losing his temper.
"Because he's not dead!" Gaius yelled.
Meanwhile outside the door stood three people who were eager to hear what was going on inside.
"Well what did they say?" Percival asked Gwaine with his ear against the door trying to listen to the argument.
"Sounds as if Gaius just shouted Merlin is not dead." Gwaine said convinced that was what he heard.
"Surely not, I know Gaius is struggling …"Gwen was interrupted.
"Quiet, I'm trying to listen," Gwaine answered back.
"You said what!" Arthur said stunned. "You actually know that do you? Well he better be dead, because if he's not I'm going to kill him myself for doing this to me."
"To you, what about me?"
"He was my friend …"
"And he was like a son to me."
"So is he still alive then and if so why has he not returned?" Arthur asked confused.
"I have no idea if he is alive, I can only sense that he is not dead."
"Yet I have seen him several times. Something doesn't add up, how can this be?"
"Magic …" Gaius answered.
"Yes that has to be the answer. You gave me something once in order to appear dead, what if he did the same?"
"But why…" Gaius said confused, "He wouldn't have been able to give himself the antidote to start breathing again."
"What if someone was working with him?"
"Like who? There wasn't anyone," Gaius uttered.
"So therefore he has to be dead…doesn't he?"
"Honestly Arthur, I haven't a clue."
"Well, we will have to carry on with his funeral so I suggest we travel to Ealdor."
"Are you sure you want to go through with it?"
"I do, either way dead or alive he deserves to be honoured."
"Can I make a suggestion?"
"Of course, what is it?"
"When we travel to Ealdor, I want to take his clothes and his book on magic with us to place on his pyre as we don't have a body."
Arthur stood in tears listening to what Gaius wished to do for his friend. "Of course we can," he answered in a quivering voice. "But why his book on magic, wouldn't you want to keep that yourself?"
"No, I was the one who gave Merlin the book in the first place. I know what it contained and burning it at the funeral is one sure way of preserving its contents from the wrong hands."
"Yes I see, but can I also make a suggestion?"
"Like what?"
"Burn his journal as well. What is written must at all costs be kept secret too."
"Yes that would be a good idea …"
"You're hesitating, what's wrong?" Arthur asked curiously.
"If he is really still alive, would he want those books kept?"
"I've a strong feeling either way that he isn't coming back. Whatever he did to protect me on that day he will have to play out for the rest of his life. If he knows magic the way you say he does then he won't be needing those books anymore."
"I can't come to terms with all this Arthur. Merlin would never do something like this, stay away from all of us knowing full well he is still alive. Why would he let us think he is dead?"
"The Crystal cave story …"
"Yes, what about it?"
"…he knew this battle was going to take place. He knew he could change the outcome, what if he did?"
"Alter history you mean?"
"Yes, Merlin's magic is far superior to any other. Surely he would have the ability to do something like that?"
"Well if he did, he said nothing to me about it." Gaius said disappointed.
"No because to everyone he must appear to be dead." Arthur said giving the only explanation possible.
"When do you want to go then?"
"Tomorrow. It will take what…a day and a half to get there. Start preparing today and we will leave at dawn tomorrow."
"Gwaine …Percival," Arthur shouted seeing them ahead in the corridor.
"Sire, everything alright?"
"Prepare the horses and provisions. We ride tomorrow for Ealdor."
"Ealdor?" Percival wondered.
"Yes Ealdor, home of Merlin."
"Why?" Gwaine asked.
"We are going to honour Merlin in his home village and to say our final goodbyes with his mother."
"Right!" Gwaine said a little confused.
"Just get on with it will you." Arthur walked away before his Knights could answer.
"Percival looked as confused as Gwaine, "So I take it then that Merlin is really dead?" he stated.
Dawn arrived crisp and fresh as the party rode out of the castle grounds. Gaius rode with Arthur staying behind, away from the others. Gwen travelled between all of them, riding on her own.
"Did you pack everything?" Arthur asked Gaius.
"Yes, everything is here. Have you seen Merlin again?"
"No, he hasn't returned. I wish he would appear once more."
"I'm sure he will come again when the time is right."
"They set up camp for the night, ready for an early start again in the morning. They sat discussing the fun times with Merlin before settling down, although Arthur and Gaius were cautious about revealing what they thought they knew about him.
Setting off early it wasn't long before they reached Ealdor. Hunith noticed them arrive and greeted them with open arms unaware the real reason they had come for.
"Arthur, Gaius how lovely it is to see you again. What brings you here?" Hunith looked around, "Where is my precious boy then?"
"Arthur dismounted his horse, walking slowly towards Hunith his sorrow was written all over his face.
"No!" she screamed so piercing it sent shivers down Arthur's body.
"I'm so sorry Hunith, I'm afraid …"
"No he's not dead. I refuse to believe that. It's not true…it's not true." Hunith continued to say as her legs buckled beneath her.
Arthur managed to catch her in time as the other's ran towards him. Ushering with his hands for the others to retreat, he held on to Merlin's mother like his own.
Angrily Hunith started to hit out, catching Arthur right across his wound. He held the pain inside not screaming out as it raged through his body once more. He wasn't going to tell her to stop, after all she was grieving for her only son. A son that he called a friend and one who had died in his care.
"Come inside all of you, the least I can do is offer you some hospitality." she said walking inside her dwelling once she gathered herself together.
"Hunith, we have something to tell you." Arthur said pulling her to one side.
"What, isn't it bad enough that he is dead?"
"Yes I'm afraid it is. It's not good news Hunith."
"Tell me Arthur …" she pleaded.
Arthur nodded, unable to get the words out as his tears fell once more. "We haven't found his body yet."
"Then how do you know he is dead?"
"Because I held him in my arms after we initially found him. We had to leave them behind at first to gather more men in-order to take them home. When we returned Merlin had disappeared.
Hunith stood confused. Arthur recognised this look. The look he and his Knights had when they returned to Camlann.
"Are you telling me my son is missing?"
"His body is missing that's all I know." Arthur said regretfully.
"He did everything for you Arthur. He loved you in his own way."
"Well he didn't have to sacrifice himself for me."
"Merlin would do whatever it took in-order for you to live. Don't shed your tears Arthur, my boy wouldn't want that from you."
"I can't accept his death, I never will." Arthur said wiping his tears away.
"Merlin was more than happy to serve you, no matter what might happen to him."
"You mean hiding his magic from all of us?"
"You know? That's why he was sent away, it was a risk we had to take."
"And I'm grateful for that or I would never have known him. Sadly we have not found his body, but with your acceptance we would like to honour him."
"How?"
"If you will allow us to make a pyre, we would like to place his clothes and books on there in place of his body."
"That is thoughtful of you. I am grateful that you feel he needs to be honoured?"
"He was more than a servant to me, more than anything in the world."
Hunith took hold of Arthur's hands, "He will always be with you Arthur, remember that."
Gaius also joined them with questions of his own. "Hunith, forgive me for interrupting but did Merlin say anything or contact you in the days before the battle?"
"No I haven't seen him since the last time he was here. Why do you ask?"
"Oh no reason, just curious," Arthur answered looking at Gaius.
Hunith kept herself busy during the day. Arthur watched her alone and saddened as nightfall fell upon them. His Knights had prepared the pyre for the following day, working hard to the point of exhaustion. Gaius and Gwen sat talking as Arthur walked over to speak to Hunith.
"Arthur, what can I do for you?" she asked seeing him approaching.
"Nothing, I just felt I needed to be near you."
"Yes, it must be hard for you as well. Arthur, you do realise just how special you were to Merlin?"
"As my servant?"
"As your friend Arthur, being your servant had nothing to do with it. He was born to be your protector. Even if he hadn't become a servant to you, he would have still guided you to be a great King."
"You don't know that."
"I do, Merlin is…was the greatest sorcerer to walk the earth. He was born only for your protection."
"And I treated him abysmally. Something I can never take back.
Hunith smiled at Arthur, "Yes he did have a few words to call you at times, but he wouldn't have changed a thing about you."
"Like Clotploe for instance."
"Yes that was one of them."
"I can only imagine some of the things he called me. You know he was the only one who could speak his mind to me and I would accept it. Anyone else I'd have bitten their heads off."
"He had a certain charm about him."
"Yes he did, and I miss it already."
"He loved you Arthur."
"I guess I can say I loved him too."
"No I mean he really loved you."
"Oh, that kind of love. Well if I'm being honest the feeling was mutual."
"But you never showed it?"
"As King I couldn't, but neither did he."
"No wonder they called you two sides of the same coin. You two were hopelessly in love and never showed it." Hunith said smiling whilst watching Arthur's reaction.
"Guess it is to late now anyway."
"Get some sleep Arthur. We have a big day ahead tomorrow."
Arthur watched her walk away, "Get some sleep, no chance of that." he said to himself.
OUT OF THE DARKNESS COMES THE LIGHT
Arthur woke early after having very little sleep. His men were already up and finishing the last touches to the funeral pyre. They wanted everything perfect, this day was for Merlin and he deserved only the best.
Gaius stood away from the others watching them make final preparations. This would be a day like no other, a day of remembrance. Arthur appeared beside him, looking tired and drawn.
"Are you alright Arthur? You don't look too good if I'm honest?"
"Tired that's all. This has been so hard for all of us. Losing my Knights was something that could have happened at any time, but losing Merlin and in this way…" Arthur had to stop himself before another emotional breakdown.
"Yes, I never thought I would live to see this happen to Merlin. I am old and should have gone before him."
"Well, no one can predict their ending."
"Not unless you are called Merlin," Gaius said with sadness and with pride.
"Do you think we are doing right thing burning the books? Once they're gone, we won't be able to get them back."
"We are doing the right thing Arthur. We are protecting Merlin all costs."
"Are you ready to place them on there?"
"No not really, but we have to."
"Come on then," Arthur stepped forward with Gaius as the others retreated. Placing Merlin's prize possessions on the pyre they both felt a feeling of peace.
As the others gathered with the Ealdor villagers for the final farewell, Arthur lit the fire to commemorate Merlin's life.
Hunith stepped forward to say a few final words. "Merlin was my one and only child, my precious boy. He left Ealdor at a fairly young age, for a better life. His first love was always Ealdor, it was his home and held all childhood memories. When Merlin came home one day, he seemed different …he had changed. He left as a boy and returned a man. When I asked him what had happened to my precious boy, he told me these words. "I grew up and learned the meaning of duty." He was of course talking about you Arthur. He was proud to serve you and always would be."
Arthur came forward, taking Hunith's hand. "Merlin was special, different in a way. Never afraid to speak his mind, no matter what it cost him. I will remember his smile, his laughter but most importantly his friendship. Such a clever man and yet at times so…"
"Clumsy," Gwaine shouted out to everyone.
"…yes a clumsy idiot and I loved him for that." Arthur beamed with happiness remembering those good times they shared together.
"Well, I remember first meeting him in the Tavern with you Arthur," Gwaine recalled his memory of his friend. "That brawl we got involved in, then I got stabbed and Merlin came to my rescue. I'm going to miss him so much," he said as his eyes filled with tears.
"I remember holding him in my arms carrying him to his horse after the Dorocha got hold of him. I really thought then he was never going to recover. They say you can't keep a good man down and that was the case with Merlin." Percival said remembering the incident well.
"Well…" Gwen continued with her memory, "…I first spoke to him the day after he arrived in Camelot. He was in the stocks being pelted by rotten vegetables. Even then he was smiling and I remember him saying that his fans were waiting to continue. I know I will miss him terribly."
"Gaius," Arthur said, "do you wish to say something?"
Gaius nodded stepping forward to relive his memories. "There are far too many incidents with Merlin to tell. We would be here all night if I shared them all, but there was one serious problem I remember well. The day he drank the poison in the wine. He was seriously ill afterwards. Not all of you will remember this but he did actually die, and with the antidote given to him somehow came back to life. He was as you all have said a very special person who touched our lives individually and we will hold him in our hearts forever."
"Gaius?" Arthur said grabbing hold of him after the remembrance was over.
"Are you alright Arthur?" Gaius asked.
"Yes perfectly fine. I was just thinking about what you said when Merlin was poisoned. He never spoke about what happened to him afterwards. Why was that?"
"Because he was unconscious the whole time. He had no memory of any of it."
"Only, when I was in the cave searching for the Mortaeus flower, I had a ball of light guiding me out of there."
"And you think it was Merlin's magic doing it?"
"Well, was it?"
"Yes, it was. His magic was so powerful far beyond my understanding. He had an orb of light in his hand and was saying something even I couldn't comprehend. He had no knowledge of it afterwards and I certainly didn't question him about it."
"I thought so too. Not at the time mind you, but knowing now what he was it is so logical."
"Sire?" Gwaine said interrupting them.
"Yes, what do you want?" Arthur said slightly annoyed hoping he hadn't heard any of the conversation.
"When do you want to return to Camelot?"
"It is too late in the day to travel now, and I don't think honestly anyone is up to going yet. Prepare everything for first light tomorrow."
"Certainly Sire."
The following day came around quickly. Arthur wanted one last word with Hunith before he left for Camelot. Whilst the others mounted the horses he held back until it was clear to talk.
"Arthur, are you not going then?"
"I wanted to say that you will always have a home in Camelot, that is of course if you would like. As Merlin's mother you will always be welcome."
"Thank you Arthur, but my home is here. This is where I feel close to my son. It is a kind offer, but I must say no." she said taking hold of Arthur's hand.
"Well, if you change your mind, the offer still stands," he said before heading away to catch the others up.
Several days had past since the return from Ealdor. Life seemed to return to normal. George was a permanent replacement for Merlin, although at times Arthur wished for Merlin to return. George was so proper and precise whilst Merlin would have a laugh and a joke. Arthur didn't have the same rapport that he had with Merlin now George had taken over. He sat in his room remembering those good days sipping slowly at his goblet of wine. Arthur sipped his last mouthful of wine choking on it as he heard his friends voice once more.
"Thank you for the other day."
Arthur turned to see Merlin sitting at the table. "You're here again then."
"Obviously being smart is not your forte," Merlin told him.
"And being cocky is obviously yours." Arthur answered smiling with happiness.
"I will beg to differ on that."
"Hang on a minute if you are dead, how can I have an in depth conversation with you?"
"I am magic, I can do what ever it takes."
"Well, you were wrong about my true love being Gwen."
"I never said that, I didn't give you a name."
"Well Gwen never was my first love."
"Who was it then?"
"You were idiot. You were my first love Merlin."
"Well, it would have been nice if you had told me. I've been hiding my true feelings for you since the day we first met."
"Everything you have done for me I know why now."
"I trust in your destiny Arthur. I'm not going to say goodbye. It is your fate to be the greatest King of Camelot will ever know until the end of time."
"So…" Arthur was hesitant to ask Merlin the one thing he wanted to know. "Are you really dead then? Because neither Gaius nor I believe that."
"I can't answer that question."
"I get it, I get what did to protect me, but you were wrong."
"My destiny was to protect you. To survive Camlann no matter what the cost. I think you can consider that a successful prophecy."
"I can't imagine what you had to sacrifice to make this happen. Your mother, Gaius and I giving everything up, I'm not sure I could do it."
"I will always be there with you; you just won't know it. I did it to protect everyone I love, in case there was any trouble in the years to come."
"Merlin …"
"No more questions. I must leave now."
"Will I ever see you again?"
"When the time is right, I will return. I ask one favour from you though?"
"Anything, what is it?"
Merlin smiled beaming with pride. "Name your son after me please?"
"How do you know I will have a son?"
"Insight Arthur, that's how I know. Now I must go, but I will leave you with something to remember me by." Merlin stood up and moved closer, "Close your eyes Arthur."
Arthur shut his eyes as Merlin's soft lips kissed him a last goodbye. His whole body stirred with longing, yearning for this wonderful moment to last forever, but when he opened his eyes, Merlin had left him and he was alone once more. As he undressed for bed that night, there on his right wrist lay Merlin's leather bracelet. Arthur never did know how it got there, but one thing he knew for sure. He would never take it off.
EPILOGUE
Arthur lived for several years after that fateful day. He married and had a family, securing the history of the monarchy. He bore a son and named him in honour of his friend Merlin. His first love had always been his loyal servant, but it was never to be. That was always something that they both knew could never have happened. His injury sustained on that dreadful day had killed him in the end, just like Merlin had predicted. Gaius and Arthur never spoke about what they thought Merlin had done in-order to protect them. He died with the knowledge that he would be the greatest King to have ever lived. Arthur never did find out what happened that day on the battlefield.
Merlin remained with Arthur until his final last breath. He never did tell Arthur what actually happened on the fields of Camlann, the mystery of how he disappeared.
Arthur's body was placed in a boat as his family stood on the side of the riverbank. Merlin stood beside him touching his forehead as he said his final last words to his master. As Arthur's boat sailed away, as if by magic a beam of light transcended from the heavens. A beautiful, glowing, glittering light surrounded Merlin's image as he looked back to Gaius, then Merlin disappeared, gone for ever, gone to be with Arthur.
So, did Merlin really die that day or was it a spiritual image staying with his master until the rightful time arrived?
That is an answer we will never know, but we do know one thing, Merlin was magic.
