This is my first parody fanfic. This Is I heart dancing with the Sonic characters, so enjoy reading. Review if you like to.
Cast:
Sonic as SpongeBob
Knuckles as Mr. Krabs
Shadow as Squidward
Tails as Patrick
Silver as Squilliam
Dr. Eggman as Fred
Rouge as Martha
Jet as Nat
The Chaotix as the small orchestra
(In side the Roasty Resistance, Shadow is seen looking at his watch, while Sonic is seen mopping the floor.)
Shadow: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I'm done with my shift, Knuckles! And let me say, there will come a day when I will make something of my life and I will never have to set foot in this grease trap again.
(Footage of a realistic crowd appears behind Shadow.)
Knuckles: Yeah, we'll see you after your lunch break, Shadow.
(The crowd disappears.)
Shadow: Okay.
(Shadow leaves the restaurant. Silver is seen speaking to a group of Mobians.)
Silver: So, I just took my private yacht across my private lake to my private heliport. It's the only way off my private island.
(Shadow gasps.)
Shadow: Oh, goodness! It's my rival from high school, Silver the Hedgehog! I can't let him see me in my restaurant uniform.
(Shadow takes off his uniform and just before he puts it in the trash can, Silver shows up.)
Silver: On your lunch break, eh, Shadow?
Shadow: Yes, I mean no, I mean... uhh, uhh... Hey, what have you been up to?
Silver: Oh, just succeeding in everything you've failed in.
Shadow: You are no great shakes, Silver the Hedgehog. Anyone can be a big shot in a hick world like Mobius.
Silver: Oh, is that so? Let's hear what you've accomplished since high school, Shadow.
Shadow's mind: Don't be intimidated, Shadow. Try to imagine him in underwear.
(Shadow imagines Silver as a underwear model with his muscle body.)
Shadow's mind: Oh, no, he's hot!
Shadow: (To Silver) I'm, uhh, in... food service.
Silver: Hold it, don't tell me you work as a cashier!
(Silver and his group burst out laughing.)
Shadow's mind: Don't lie. Lying makes it worse.
Shadow: (To Silver) I own a 5-star restaurant!
(The crowd gasps at the Ultimate Lifeform.)
Silver: Shadow, I had no idea you were such a success.
Shadow: That's right!
Silver: I would be honored if you would allow me to come to your restaurant tonight.
(Glass breaking sounds, Shadow has a shocked look on his face.)
Shadow: (Stuttering) T-t-t-t-t-t-tonight?
Silver: In fact, we'll all come. My treat!
(Silver's friends starts cheering.)
(The Roasty Resistance, in Knuckles' office.)
Shadow: Please, Knuckles, you got to help me! When they get here tonight, they're going to see I'm just a big phony and a fraud. And I can't let my reputation as the Ultimate Lifeform be tarnished.
Knuckles: Oh, boo-hoo! (Starts playing a small violin.) Let me play a sad song for you on the world's smallest violin.
Shadow: This is serious!
Knuckles: I know. This really is the world's smallest violin.
(The tiny violin is seen.)
Knuckles: See?
Shadow: Knuckles! Please let me run the restaurant for just 1 night! I really need to prove Silver wrong.
(Silver's head appears above Knuckles' head.)
Knuckles: Silver? The hedgehog from the future who made millions doing what you wish you could do?
Shadow: Don't rub it in!
Knuckles: Why didn't you tell me? We'll take him to the cleaners.
(Sonic and Knuckles are seen standing in a straight line. Shadow, in a black tuxedo, is walking back in forth.
Shadow: Alright, listen up. Men, Silver the Hedgehog will be here in 20 minutes. Therefore, we need to turn this restaurant into a fancy restaurant ASAP.
(Tails is standing next to Sonic with a army helmet on his head.)
Shadow: Tails, what are you doing here?
Tails: I thought the Corps would help me straighten out my life, sir!
Shadow: The Corps? What the... Tails, this isn't the... oh! (he sighs) Beggars can't be choosers. Can you take hats in a dignified and sophisticated manner?
Tails: You mean like a weenie? OK! (Talks like a weenie.) May I take your hat, sir? May I take your hat, sir? May I...
(Shadow puts his hand over Tails' mouth.)
Shadow: Alright, I've heard enough. You've got the job.
(The two-tailed fox walks off.)
Shadow: Knuckles, didn't you once serve on the R.R. Gourmet?
Knuckles: Yes!
Shadow: Then you'll be our chef.
(The red echidna walks off.)
Sonic: What can I do?
Shadow: I can't believe I'm saying this, but, Sonic, you're going to have to be the waiter.
Sonic: What's that?
Shadow: It's a guy who goes around tables and takes orders.
Sonic: Do other restaurants do that?
Squidward: Yes, they do that! Now listen, Silver is on his way and you have less than 20 minutes to become a fancy waiter, so read this.
(Shadow gives Sonic a book.)
Sonic: "How To Become a Fancy Waiter in 20 minutes or less." Don't worry, Shads. I'll memorize every page, right down to the punctuation marks!
Shadow: Alright, I've got all the positions filled. I might pull this off!
(Tails is seen shaking a coat rack with a hat on it.)
Tails: Give me that hat! I said give it to me!Are you going to hand it over or not?! Don't you talk back to me!
(Tails jumps on the rack and begins to punch it.)
Shadow: He's just the hat-check guy, nothing essential!
(A loud explosion from the kitchen is heard. Green slime flies out.)
Shadow: What happened?! What is it?!
Knuckles: Peas!
(A can of peas, still in the can, is on the stove and the can is also on fire.)
Knuckles: Made them the old-fashioned way.
Shadow: Knuckles, you gotta take them out of the... (He gasps.) Holy Chaos, what is that?!
(Shadow sees a giant pile of food goop with files and other things sticking out.)
Knuckles: That's the appetizer.
Shadow: But I thought you said you were the head chef on the R.R. Gourmet.
Knuckles: Did I say that. No, I cleaned the bathrooms on the Gourmet. I was the head chef on the R.R. Diarrhea.
(Shadow walks out of the kitchen and walks up to the blue superspeed hedgehog.)
Shadow: There you are! Sonic, you gotta help me! Tails and Knuckles aren't working out and Silver is almost there, and, and... Sonic?
(Sonic turns around and looks like a zombie, tired from reading every single page from the book Shadow gave him.)
Sonic: I can't do it! I can't do it, Shadow!
Shadow: What?
Sonic: Every sentence, every paragraph.
(Sonic slams the book on his face between each word.)
Sonic: Spoons! Bread! Salad! Pepper! Don't you understand?!
(Sonic's brain starts to swell.)
Sonic: My brain is full to bursting! If I have to memorize a single order, I think I'm going to EXPLODE!
(Sonic Explodes.)
Shadow: Sonic, hold on! Let's just take a second here to relax.
(Sonic lowers his arms.)
Shadow: Little more.
(Sonic lowers his arms again.)
Shadow: Little more.
(Sonic's face falls to the floor.)
Shadow: Good. Now I want you to empty your mind.
Sonic: Empty my mind?
Shadow: Empty your mind.
Sonic: Empty my mind...
Shadow: Empty your mind of everything that doesn't have to do with fine dining. Fine dining and breathing.
(Inside Sonic's brain. A bunch of smaller Sonics are working on computers in an office.)
Small Sonic 1: (Runs into the office.) Just got an order from the boss: Dump everything that isn't about fine dinging!
Other Sonics: Everything?
Small Sonic 1: Everything!
(The small Sonics start to panic and they began throwing everything away.)
Small Sonic 1: Come on, come on, come on! Bring them, bring them, bring them! Rings, rings!
(A small Sonic is seen shredding papers marked "Running around Green Hill Zone." then "Beating Eggman." then "Eating chilidogs."
Small Sonic 1: Let's go, let's go! Keep doing it.
(Small Sonic 1 walks towards another small Sonic.)
Small Sonic 1: Come on, let's get moving. Hurry up! What do you think I'm paying you for?!
Small Sonic 2: You don't pay me. We don't even exist. We're just a clever visual metaphor use to personify the abstract concept of thought.
Small Sonic 1: One more crack like that and you're out of here!
Small Sonic 2: No, please! I've got 3 kids!
(The scene cuts back to Sonic with a blank look on his face.)
Shadow: How do you feel?
(Shadow snaps his fingers as Sonic drools.)
Shadow: This isn't working!
(Tails is seen walking on all fours with the coat rack in his mouth.)
Shadow: I got to go tell Silver I need more time!
(Shadow runs out the door.)
Shadow: I'll just go to the future and...
(Shadow sees Silver and his friends.)
Shadow: Silver, you're here!
Silver: Hello, Shadow!
(Shadow steps back.)
Silver: We're all ready to be dazzles by your 5-star restaurant.
Shadow: Wait, Silver, I've got to explain!
Silver: Explain what? That you, Shadow the Hedgehog, the Ultimate Lifeform, voted most likely to suck eggs in high school, (walks in) are trying to pass off a lousy burger stand as a 5-star (gulps) ...restaurant!?
(The interior of the restaurant looks very fancy with nice wallpaper, the Chaotix as a small orchestra, a chandelier, etc...)
Silver: Hommina, Hommina, Hommina...
(Shadow joins in and starts chanting "Hommina" as well. Sonic is seen wearing a white tuxedo.)
Sonic: Table for Hommina? I can seat you immediately!
(Sonic picks up the group and other Sonic characters.)
Shadow: (Whispering to Sonic) How did you do all this?
Sonic: It was easy, once I cleared my mind.
Shadow: But what about Knuckles and Tails?
Sonic: Taken care of.
(Tails and Knuckles are tied up and gagged.)
Sonic: Right this way, please.
(Sonic uses his superspeed to quickly seat everyone. Silver is seated without a chair, but Sonic quickly gives Silver a chair to sit on.)
Sonic: Good evening, Silver.
(Sonic gives Silver a menu.)
Sonic: From our menu tonight, might I recommend the Resistance Newburg?
(The blue hedgehog gives Silver a shoulder massage as he takes the menu. As Sonic explains what Silver is eating, he gives him a napkin to put on his neck and proceeds to to feed him.)
Sonic: We take the finest cuts of meat, stuff them with herbs from our garden, wrap them in parchment with our award-winning shallot tapenade, slow-roast them for 6 hours in our wood-fired, clay-filled oven, and serve them with a garnish on a mahogany plank.
(As Sonic tells him all this, he makes Silver's experience the best he can.)
Silver: Mmm... this is fantastic!
Sonic: (Salutes Silver.) Thank you, Silver.
Shadow: Pinch me. I must be dreaming.
(Sonic pinches the black hedgehog with a pin.)
Shadow: Ow!
Sonic: If you need anything else, just call.
Shadow: Sonic, I can't thank you enough for all you're doing!
Sonic: Fine dining and breathing are all I know how to do.
(Sonic runs off.)
Shadow: It worked. I can't believe it! Silver thinks I own a 5-star restaurant. Time to rub it in his face.
(Sonic is seen combing Silver's quills.)
Shadow: Well, Silver, I'm waiting!
Silver: (Starts to tear up.) Alright, I admit it. Everything's fabulous. The food, the atmosphere! Everything's flawless!
Shadow: In this case, I need you to read this.
(Shadow gives Silver a card.)
Silver: Uhh, "Shadow the Hedgehog..."
Shadow: And I need you to wear this.
(Shadow puts a foam finger that says "Shadow #1" on Silver's left hand.)
Silver: Oh, uh, "Shadow the Hedgehog, the Ultimate Lifeform, has the fanciest..."
(Shadow puts a mic infront of Silver.)
Shadow: I'm sorry, one more time.
(Silver's voice sounds over the loudspeaker.)
Silver: "Shadow the Hedgehog, the Ultimate Lifeform, has the fanciest restaurant in Mobius... and he does not suck eggs."
(Everyone cheers for Shadow.)
Silver: Shadow, I must tell you...
(Sonic pours water in Silver's glass. Silver then drinks it.)
Silver: Thank you. (To Shadow.) What really won me over was your brilliant waiter. It's as if all he knows is fine dining... and breathing. But because it's been a while, I forgot his name. (To Sonic.) Hey, it's been a while since we last saw each other. Can you tell me your name again?
(Record player scratches.)
Sonic: My name?
Silver: Yes, your name.
Sonic: Uhh... Chilidog?
Silver: (Chuckles) No, your name.
Sonic: Uhh... err... the fork on the left?
Shadow: Heh. Quit joking. Tell him your name already.
Sonic: My name?
(Inside Sonic's brain, the small Sonics are trying to look for his name.)
Small Sonic 3: (Checking file cabinets) What's his name?! What's his name?! I've got nothing on a name!
Small Sonic 4: (Pressing a key on a keyboard that is connected to a computer.) Come on, what's the name?!
(As the computer goes up in flames, the other small Sonic are running around, panicking.)
Small Sonic 5: WE THREW OUT HIS NAME!!
(Sonic's brain is broken in half. The scene goes back to the 3 hedgehogs. Sonic begins stammering and then splashes water on Silver and goes crazy.)
Shadow: Oh, I'm so sorry! I don't know what has gotten into that...
(Shadow screams as he sees Sonic standing next to Dr. Eggman with a bowl of hot soup.
Sonic: More soup for your armpits, Egghead?
(Sonic holds up his arch-nemesis' arm and throws the soup on his armpits.)
Dr. Eggman: (Screams in pain.) OW! LOUSY HEDGEHOG!
(Sonic then runs over to Rouge and grabs her head.)
Sonic: Please enjoy the food, Rouge!
(Sonic slams Rouge's face into her food then runs up to Jet.)
Sonic: Would you like some cheese on that, Jet?
(Sonic picks up the green hawk and pulls out a cheese grater. Sonic then grates Jet's backside as Jet screams in pain.)
Jet: (Screams as he gets his backside grated.) You'll pay for this, Sonic the Hedgehog!
Shadow: (Frightened) No! Noo!
(Tails, who is still tied up, runs out of the kitchen, screaming in panic. Knuckles, also tied up, runs out as well.)
Knuckles: Run for your lives, everyone! It's the appetizer!
(The appetizer, which now came to life comes out the door and sends the echidna flying. Everyone screams in terror and runs out of the restaurant. Shadow's tux rips in half and his restaurant uniform goes on Shadow. His name tag lands on his uniform. His tag reads "Shadow the Hedgehog, Cashier")
Silver: Well, Silver, I'm waiting.
Shadow: (Begins to tear up.) OK, I admit it, I'm a fraud! This was all a pathetic attempt to impress you. This isn't really my restaurant. I'm just a cashier!
Silver: Shadow, I understand. I have a confession to make myself. I made everything up about my life. I have no yachts, jets, or anything. I was only trying to impress you. The horrible, truth is, I'm a cashier too!
(Silver starts crying while Knuckles plays the tiny violin.)
Shadow: Is that true, Silver?
Silver: Of course not! I'm filthy stinking rich! Come on, everyone. Let's go to my future and take a ride my balloon!
(Silver's friends cheer. The wallpaper rips off. Shadow sits down and sighs in defeat.)
Sonic: (Walks by with an ice pack on his head.) Ugh, I got such a headache. What's going with you?
Shadow: Oh, the usual.
(Knuckles walks up to Shadow and plays the tiny violin.)
Shadow: (Angrily.) Would you get out of here?!
The end!
Well, that's all folks. My first ever parody of a SpongeBob episode using the Sonic characters. I'll take any criticism and I'll try to make more SpongeBob parodies using the Sonic characters.
This is a restaurant I made up to replace the Krusty Krab in this story. I named the restaurant after the Resistance from Sonic Forces.
I do not own SpongeBob nor Sonic the Hedgehog. They belong to their respective creators.
