Chapter 5
As the sun began dipping lower in the sky, Elizabeth figured that it was about time she walked back in the direction of Longbourn. She had spent as long as she could at Lydia's wake that morning, but soon found that she could no longer endure the pitying glances and the ingenuine words of consolation from neighbors and those that pretended to be friends. As soon as she could, she had slipped out unnoticed and had been walking the countryside ever since. She was grateful for the solitude.
Her dearest friend Charlotte Collins had come early this morning with her husband, Mr. Collins and would be at the church memorial service for Lydia tomorrow. Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley had been almost a constant presence at Longbourn since they had arrived but spent every second of that time in the library with her father and uncle discussing matters regarding Mr. Wickham and the investigation. Her sisters barely spoke a word to one another. Even Jane, who spent most hours throughout the day attending to their mother, barely had any time or energy left to sit and talk with Elizabeth. Not that she felt much like talking.
Since the moment that Elizabeth had set foot at Longbourn she had felt the weight of her responsibility in Lydia's death. Her father and Jane, of course had tried to reassure her that what her mother had said had been done out of grief and carried no truth, but Elizabeth knew better. She should have told her family what she had learned about Mr. Wickham. Surely if she had, her father would have never permitted Lydia to go off with Mrs. Forster. Or if she had told Col Forster what kind of man, he was perhaps he would have had him transferred to another unit or had him discharged altogether.
Many scenarios of how things could have played out, if only she had done things differently, constantly ran through Elizabeth's head causing any hope of sleep to evade her since her arrival two days ago. Her daylight hours had been spent trying to avoid her mother's presence. The few times that she had failed and had been unlucky enough to encounter her mother, she was met with hostility and contempt which only served to perpetuate Elizabeth's growing depression.
The sound of hoofbeats pulled her from her musings as Mr. Darcy approached, apparently done with the days' business with her father. One he was near, he dismounted from his horse and approached her.
"Miss Bennett," he said with a bow. "How are you?"
Elizabeth curtsied but found that she did not have the words to answer his question. After a long pause she finally said, "As well as can be expected, sir."
"Is there anything that I can do to help ease your suffering?" Mr. Darcy asked softly.
She felt the tears well in her eyes again as she shook her head vigorously. Anxious to avoid making an emotional scene she quickly asked, "Is there any news on Wickham?"
"Not on him, no," Darcy said slowly. "There has been a small break in the case, however, but I do not think it will ease your mind."
Elizabeth looked up from the ground and looked him in the eye, "Please sir, do not try to shield me from the truth. I do not deserve it. The weight of the guilt for this matter is mine to bear."
"No." Mr. Darcy replied emphatically. "The fault is mine. The secret that you kept was on my behalf. I have explained in full details the particulars of my interactions with Wickham to your father. He has assured me that he does not share your mother's conviction of your guilt in keeping my secret."
"My mother will always blame me. She is not one to let things go. I am ruined in her eyes forever," Elizabeth said defeatedly.
"I pray that is not true. Surely, she must come to see the truth behind it all," Mr. Darcy. Taking a step closer to her, he continued, "Forgive me for speaking so familiarly with you, but I must convey to you, my concerns. You do not seem well, Miss Bennett."
Elizabeth sighed. "I fear I may never be well again, Mr. Darcy. What news do you have about Wickham?" she continued changing the subject yet again.
"The news that I have does not concern Wickham directly. He is still at large. However, there is a suspect in custody that has been able to shed some light on the events of that morning," Mr. Darcy said quietly. "It seems that Wickham was not the one that killed your sister. The individual that did has confessed that your sister had been an accidental victim. The man had been attempting to collect a debt from Wickham and had gone to collect when he had learned he was in town. When he had confronted him there had been an argument and Wickham had feigned going for a gun, but instead grabbed Miss Lydia and hid behind her like a yellow-bellied coward. The individual in custody had fired his own weapon well before he could register what Wickham had done," finished with a growl.
Elizabeth gasped. "Oh, poor Lydia! What a despicable man!" she spat. A horrible thought came to mind, and she asked fearfully, "Does this mean that search for him has ended? Will he be allowed to treat other young women in such a reprehensible way?"
"Most assuredly not," Mr. Darcy said comfortingly. "I will not rest until Wickham has paid for his part in these events. The man that confronted Wickham is willing to testify that your sister was there against her will. He is still being sought for the kidnapping of a gentlewoman and God willing at the very least accessory to murder."
Elizabeth's anxieties were only mildly alleviated by this news. She could not claim to have any knowledge of the workings of the justice system, but it seemed to her that Wickham had gotten away with murder. Even if it hadn't been him that had pulled the trigger, he was the one that would always carry the blame for her sister's death. None of it seemed fair.
"Miss Bennett, it is getting late. May I walk you home?" Mr. Darcy asked interrupting her musings.
With only a nod, Elizabeth turned and began walking with Mr. Darcy as he led his horse next to them.
"This has been the business that has called you to Longbourn to meet with my father and Uncle Gardiner?" Elizabeth asked.
"Mostly yes," Mr. Darcy replied. "There was some talk about the particulars of the case and the reward offer."
"Am I to assume that this latest news about the capture of Lydia's killer will end your affairs here in Meryton then?" Elizabeth inquired softly.
Mr. Darcy smiled. "Are you so anxious to have me out of your acquaintance, Miss Bennett?"
Elizabeth stopped walking. "No sir!" she proclaimed feeling horrified. "I am so sorry that you would come to that conclusion. I was only trying to make conversation. I am most ardently grateful for your presence here and for all of the assistance that you have given."
Mr. Darcy turned toward her and wore a peculiar look on his face that made Elizabeth want to apologize again. Instead, he took her arm and again began walking with in the direction of her home. They walked for several minutes in silence before Mr. Darcy spoke again.
"Your father worries greatly about you as of late," he said carefully. "He is careful not to disclose too much, but it is obvious in how he speaks of you."
"My father does tend to worry about things that he shouldn't," Elizabeth mumbled.
"You do not think that he should worry for you?" Mr. Darcy asked in surprise.
Elizabeth sighed. "I just think that he has more important things to worry about than me right now."
"Would you allow me to express my concern for your well-being then?" he asked softly.
Staring down at the ground as they walked, she replied, "It will do no good worrying. I am sure that mother will relent in her accusations sooner or later no matter how deserved they are. As soon as something new comes along she will at least quit being so vocal about them."
"How would you feel about spending some time away from Longbourn for a couple of months?" he asked stopping their walking to stand in front of her.
"Away from Longbourn?" Elizabeth said in surprise. "Where could I possibly go?"
"Well, I was hoping that I could convince you to spend some time at Pemberley with Georgiana," Mr. Darcy began. "You see I am afraid that I will be tied up in town for quite a bit longer than I was anticipating and I know that she will be longing for companionship especially since she is not out in society yet. This would serve you as well since you will be able to observe your mourning period away from those that would attempt to seek your presence in society here in Meryton," he finished quickly as though he had rushed to get all of the words out of his mouth.
"Pemberley? That would be a lovely escape. And I would love to be better acquainted with your sister, but I am afraid, in light of the current circumstances, there could be no way my father would approve such a venture," Elizabeth said in disappointment.
"Don't think me too presumptuous, Miss Bennett, but I think you'll find your father to be quite agreeable to the idea," Mr. Darcy said slyly. "If I am to be honest, I shall admit that I have already approached him about the offer, and he was quite taken with it. His only concern was how you would feel about it."
Elizabeth did not have to think much on the idea. She longed for the solitude away from her sisters and especially her mother so that she could deal with her guilt alone. The idea of being able to spend some time in thoughtful contemplation roaming through the beautiful ground of Pemberley was almost too good to believe.
"I would be honored to be a guest at Pemberley if you think I would not be an inconvenience," Elizabeth said. "I just hope that I will not dampen Georgiana's moods with my mourning."
"Oh, you will be great with her," Mr. Darcy promised. "She will be so pleased for the company. I will make all of the arrangements for you and have you on your way after tomorrow next following the services for Miss Lydia."
Mr. Darcy seemed content to share with her details about Pemberley to occupy the walk back to Longbourn and Elizabeth was forced to admit that this was surely the most she had ever heard him speak. She was glad for it though since it saved her from saying much in response. She was exceedingly glad for the offer to retreat to Pemberley and spend some time with his sister but doubted that it would help much in bringing her out of her current state of mind.
