SPOV

It wasn't just the challenge his words posed, but also their inflection, that had heat pooling low in my belly. A shudder rippled through my traitorous body, betraying just how much of an effect he was having on me. How in the hell could words alone evoke such a strong reaction? Before I could force my mind to re-engage and formulate any semblance of a reply, I felt the warmth of his breath drift across my neck as he leaned impossibly closer. "I know the truth." Even at a whisper, there was no mistaking the desire in his voice.

His statement caused my body stiffened as the shock of his words zipped through me in response. No way could he know how I really felt about him. I'd been so careful with keeping my true feelings hidden. Well, at least I'd been careful since the incident at the hospital eight months ago. "W-what truth," I barely managed to reply, while trying desperately to ignore the hard planes of his body pressed against me.

He's your partner Plum and you can't lust after him. Only, what I felt for him wasn't simply lust. If it was, it would have been easier for me to ignore what his proximity was doing to me.

Without moving away from my neck, he murmured against my ear. "I know how you were nearly inconsolable after I was shot."

My eyes widened and, in that moment, I was glad he was still pressed against me in a way that kept him from seeing my face. Though he been trained to read even the smallest tell. Chances were good I'd already blown my ability to keep my secret. Still, my mind was scrambling with a million thoughts. The least of which was, how could he possibly know? I gave myself a mental head smack as the realization struck that one of the guys had probably told him. After all, several of them, including Ranger and Tank had been privy to my melt down in the ER waiting room.

It was only much later, after we knew Lester would recover without any complications, when I realized just how big a fool I'd made of myself in front of the guys. So, I shouldn't be surprised that someone would have eventually told him. "I was scared we were gonna lose you," I replied in a poor attempt to play off my actions from that night.

It wasn't a lie. I had been scared. Just the thought of not having Lester in my life had terrified me in a way I'd only felt once before.

Actually, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forget the details of that evening. Much like the Scrog event, it's as if they've been burned into my brain forever.

I'd been pulling overtime, working searches at Rangeman when the shots fired call came across the comm. Within seconds I was up from my chair and positioned behind Gene, listening to the updates with some of the men on the floor. When Bobby reported two down, my heart had nearly stopped. I still remember the words as clear as if they happened yesterday.

"Tank and I are five out," Ranger said.

"Redirect," Bobby ordered. "Lester is critical. We're Code Three to St. Francis."

"Copy," Ranger said. "What's Cade's status?"

"Deceased at scene," Bobby replied.

To this day I still don't remember leaving the monitors or grabbing my keys, but I do remember Ram intercepting me as I raced for my car. Claiming I was too upset to be behind the wheel, he insisted on driving. By the time we'd arrived at St. Francis my panic was at a level last scene when Scrog shot Ranger.

"And after," Les murmured, brushing his lips across the sensitive spot just below my ear and pulling my thoughts back to the present.

The woody scent of his Dolce and Gabbana cologne mixed with the heat of his body, stirring my desire to the point I was literally weak in the knees. He really needed to put some space between us so I could think. Yet, even the idea of him moving away from me, had my free hand lifting to his shoulder in a vain attempt to hold him in place.

"W-what after?" I asked and was a little surprised at the husky tone of my voice. What in the hell was I doing?

"When I was in the ICU," he began to explain as the warmth of his breath sent a shiver rippling through me. "I know you stayed with me, holding my hand and talking to me for hours."

I started to ask him how he knew, then caught myself. If the guys told him about my Oscar winning performance in the waiting room, then I'm sure they told him about me sitting with him while he continued to fight for his life. Those early hours after his surgery had been touch and go, causing fear to claw at my heart to the point where I hadn't been able to pull myself away from him.

Ranger had tried to get me to leave for the night. To come back to Haywood with him and rest, but I fought him to the point of tears. Thank God for all the donations Rangeman made to St. Francis. After a discussion with the administrator, Ranger arranged for me and Bobby to stay with Les through the night, while Ram and Ramon kept sentry outside his door. Once Ranger departed, Bobby retreated to the doctors lounge to grab a couple hours sleep, leaving me alone to confess my deepest secrets to the man I loved.

In the moment, I hadn't cared what other's thought. Only, once Lester began to recover, the fear receded and Stephanie, first resident of denial land, had returned enforce.

"W-which one of the guys told you?" It was everything I could do to keep my mind on the question as he pressed a gentle kiss against the soft skin of my neck.

I felt his lips tip into a grin. "I could hear you."

Oh God. The doctor's had said he could hear me, and I should talk to him, but I hadn't really believed them. So, thinking my secret was safe, I'd spoken my heart into the empty room. "You heard me?"

"I did," he replied as he continued his path, drifting lower. He pressed an open mouth kiss at the juncture of my neck and shoulder and I had to bite back a moan. What was this man doing to me? Slowly, he began the return journey, moving back up the side of my neck. He nipped at my pulse point, then soothed the sting with his tongue, pulling a gasp from me I couldn't contain.

"You begged me not to leave you and told me how lonely your life would be without me around. You said that despite still loving Ranger, you'd come to realize that you loved me too. That you didn't know what to do about your feelings, because you didn't want to come between me and my cousin." He paused and sucked on my earlobe causing other parts of my body to flood with warmth.

"Y-you heard all that?" I asked as I realized that he'd let go of the hand he'd been holding and shifted his hand to my waist. Even through the fabric of my t-shirt, I could feel the heat of his touch and yearned for more. My now free hand came up to grasp his other shoulder. "You were aware enough to understand what I was saying?"

"Every word," he replied as he pulled back to look at me and I almost gasped again at what I saw. The intensity in his gaze caused a lump to form in my throat. It wasn't anger or frustration staring back at me, but love.

"That confession gave me a renewed sense of strength and purpose," he said. "Just knowing there was a chance I might be able to love you the way I've always dreamed about gave me the motivation to keep going."

My eyes widened at his admission. "You've dreamed about loving me?"

"Oh, no, Beautiful," he said as he pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. "It's so much more than that. Don't met wrong…I have absolutely dreamed about making love to you," he said. "But I've been in love with you from damn near the first time I set eyes on you."

His words alone were once again enough to weaken my knees. When I first met Lester, he'd immediately come on to me and Ranger quickly put him in his place. It hadn't taken much for me to peg him as a player and as I grew closer to the guys, they confirmed my suspicions. Not once in all that time had he ever let on he'd been in love with me. "But-" I started to say, only to give up on the rest of the sentence when the words wouldn't come.

He grinned now, and my tummy did a little flip. He was so freaking handsome anyway, but when he smiled, he was downright stunning. "You're wondering why I never said anything."

Slowly, I started to nod like some dashboard bobble head. "You've always been such a playboy."

"True," he agreed. "I was a big player before you came into my life. I only continued with that lifestyle because I didn't know you felt the same way about me. Plus, you were with Morelli and then later Ranger."

"Still…why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked.

He curled a knuckle along my jaw. "And what exactly would I have said? I know you're head over heels in love with my cousin, but I love you too?" He shook his head. "Morelli spent enough time fucking with your emotions and filling your head with doubts. I was determined not to do the same thing to you. Besides…" His grin softened and no longer reached his eyes. "Because the way Ric reacted to you…the way he protected you…I honestly thought he was going to step up and give you the relationship you deserved. I wanted you to be happy and if my cousin could give you that happy, I wasn't going to stand in the way."

"The problem was, he couldn't give me the kind of happy I really wanted."

"I know that now," he replied even as I caught myself curling my fingers into his shirt as he continued to talk. "During my recovery, I kept playing your words back in my head. I started thinking about our interactions prior to my getting shot and I realized that had I been paying closer attention, I would have picked up on your signals."

"What signals?" I asked, my voice still barely a whisper.

"How you always managed to secure the seat right next to mine in meetings. How you'd bring me my favorite coffee when I was having a hard day. Then there were the glances you'd steal my direction while we were working out in the gym."

"How do you know I was looking at you?" I challenged.

"Oh, baby," he whispered. "It was obvious. You'd flick your gaze my way, subtly trying to hide those baby blues beneath your lashes. Then, you'd lick your lips or bite your bottom lip. Fuck, Beautiful, do you have any idea what those looks did to me?"

Slowly, I shook my head.

"At the time, I thought you were playing with me. Teasing me just to get under my skin, but looking back…" He let the remainder of his sentence trail off on a growl that had the fire smoldering inside me quickly igniting into an inferno.

The hand wrapped around my waist pulled at my t-shirt, freeing it from where it was tucked into my cargos. He then snaked beneath the fabric and wrapped his fingers around my waist, practically scalding me with his touch. "It was those memories that helped me while I was recovering. I don't know how many times I dreamed about those luscious lips of yours wrapped around parts of me and would wake up desperate, needy an wishing you were in my bed."

I wanted to say something…anything in response, but I was slowly drowning in sensations and my ability to speak had fled for higher ground.

"I wasn't sure what I was going to do until Ric pulled me aside and told me about your conversation with him. How you told him you understood and accepted his inability to give you more than friendship and how you thought you might be in love with someone else. He said you'd asked if the two of you could remain friends, regardless of how you proceeded with your love life."

"Is all of that why you requested me to be your partner?" I managed to squeak out past the boulder now living in my throat.

He gave me that sexy and devastating Lester Santos grin I'd come to love so much. "I knew if we spent enough time together and you got to know me better, there was a chance our feelings would eventually come to the surface."

"So, is that also why you stopped dating after you were shot?"

His brows winged up in surprise. "You noticed."

"I did," I replied, "But I couldn't understand why you suddenly lost interest in dating. I thought…" I let the rest of the sentence trail off as I caught myself. No way could I say that to him.

"What did you think?"

I shook my head. "Nothing."

The knuckle he'd continued to graze along my cheek curled beneath my chin, holding it in place, forcing me to meet his gaze once again. "Tell me," he whispered.

Before the words were even out of my mouth, heat began to creep into my face until I was sure I was turning red right in front of his eyes. "I thought maybe the shooting had caused some…performance issues for you."

He tilted his head back and laughed. The sound was rich with joy and sent fresh sparks of desire coursing through me. "Oh, baby, I can promise there is absolutely nothing wrong with my ability to perform." Still smiling, he lowered his mouth toward mine, brushing just a whisper of a kiss across my lips. "How about I give you a very personal demonstration?"