For a long time, Peter just sat there. He had no idea how long it'd been since the ship had incurred the damage; time, like most other things, seemed irrelevant right now. He had no energy or desire to get up and do much of anything.
He had failed, after all, so what was the point?
"Don't give up."
Peter squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to look at who his tired and lonely mind had conjured up for him to see this time. He didn't even need to anyway; the voice was the most recognizable one in his life.
"There's nothing I can do," he answered the voice. When he heard no response, he gave into curiosity, slowly rotating his head to the right to see if the figure was still there. Sure enough, there was none other than his Aunt May, sitting down beside him. She was looking at him with one of her trademark looks that conveyed both that she was sympathetic to his situation while also preparing a challenge for him.
"I failed May," Peter said, tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks. He knew his aunt wasn't actually here, but he still had to fight the urge to just sink into one of her comforting hugs as if she were.
"No you didn't," she said softly. "You only fail if you give up completely. You can do this, Peter."
"How," Peter asked, "how can I do this?"
May looked ahead of them for a moment as if thinking.
"Do you remember what your Uncle Ben and I used to tell you when you were little and you would come to us and complain that you couldn't figure out something related to your schoolwork?" May asked.
Peter looked ahead as well, thinking back to years past. While he hadn't had to come to May for help with anything academic in some time, those early years were not completely lost on him. He used to frequently walk up to her and Ben, sometimes in tears due to being unable to figure out what a problem was asking for or that the answer never seemed to come out right.
"You told me to take a breath," Peter began, "and then you said that, if I needed to, I could take a break, and then come back to the problem with a fresh mind."
"Well," May replied, "you've already done the first thing."
"May," Peter muttered, "this is different than first grade math or science."
"True," May said, "but I also think you have even better motivation to solve this problem."
At these words, Peter's head sank down, and he closed his eyes. He knew this was all just in his head, but he couldn't help but consult the image of his aunt about his greatest fear at this point.
"But May," Peter said, swallowing as he fought for the air to even say his next words, "what if you aren't even there when I get back? What if…"
"What if I got dusted too?" May said, finishing his sentence for him, causing Peter's eyes to return in her direction. "Obviously I can't make any promises, but you can't let your fear of what you don't even know for sure win out, Peter. You have to keep going. After all, Ben and I didn't raise a quitter, did we?"
Peter actually let out a chuckle at those words, looking away again. Somehow, no matter the situation, they had always had a positive effect on him. Ben mainly said it at first, going all the way back to when he urged him to finish a puzzle he was working on. After his uncle had passed, it was one of the things May would say that reminded Peter of the man who was the closest thing to a father that he had known for most of his life.
So, he answered her the same way he always had.
"No ma'am."
Peter turned to look in May's direction, but she was gone, and he was alone again. Loneliness was the only feeling he had known for the last few days, but now, he could feel just the smallest sampling of willpower growing within him as his mind stirred on this latest aberration's words. He knew May, or technically on some level he himself was right.
He had to keep going.
"Okay May," Peter said, as he slowly forced himself up. "I'll try, for you."
Figuring that he might as well start out with the biggest problem first, Peter went straight for the engines. He almost turned right back around as soon as he saw how damaged they were, but he stopped himself from doing so and made himself try to look at the problem in a new way. While there wasn't much he could do regarding the external damage with the limited tools in the ship, Peter knew the biggest issue was going to be getting power back in.
Tearing open where he needed to access some of the wiring he had previously worked on, Peter was surprised to find that most of it was still intact. There were a few trouble points in spots, but the layout of how he had rerouted the power prior to takeoff was largely still in place. In short, he needed to find a way to get power restored to the engine, but there wasn't much of anywhere to get it from without sacrificing another power in another vital area. Peter had only done enough work to make sure that it could function successfully in the areas that really mattered, such as the engine, hyperspace and oxygen, and he wasn't exactly too keen on giving up any of those functionalities.
After he had analyzed what little options he might have, Peter backed away from the spot, beginning to pace up and down the section of the ship. He wracked his brain for ideas, searching for some outside of the box thought he hadn't had yet. The more he ran through it though, the less possibilities there seemed to be, but there had to be some other thought, some new idea he hadn't had yet…
"Karen," Peter said, stopping his frantic pacing if for no other reason than his own sanity, "do you see any possibilities for diverting power to the engines?" The A.I. brought up a run through for Peter to view as it ran through different possibilities.
"Not without taking too much power from other essential functionalities," Karen eventually replied once completing her simulations.
Peter sighed, leaning back against a nearby wall. He was fighting, trying his best not to give up, but if even the A.I. of his suit that Tony Stark made couldn't….
Wait a minute.
His suit!
"Karen," Peter said, jolting upright again, "what about one, or both the suits I'm wearing right now? Could they have enough power to get us going again?"
"Running numbers," the A.I. responded. There was a pause before she finally answered, "yes, it appears the power both suits utilize could be used to restart the engines, though my calculations are inconclusive as to if it will be enough to reach earth."
"I'll take it," Peter said. "Thanks Karen!"
"You're welcome Peter," the A.I. kindly replied.
Immediately, Peter went to work, removing what he had come to refer to as his "Iron Spider" suit that Mr. Stark had made for him. He searched thoroughly, eventually finding the interior component that facilitated the power to the entire thing. He was about to begin the process of disconnecting it, when he realized something: once he did this, he would lose Karen for the remainder of the trip. Aside from her usefulness when situations like this came up, the A.I. had been a decent companion during this otherwise lonely time. Sure, she didn't come close to making up for the depressing lack of contact with other people, but still….she was something.
"Karen," Peter said softly, his voice a little softer than he expected.
"Yes Peter?" the A.I. asked.
"Thanks… for everything," he said, struggling to get out his words. "You've been really great."
"Thank you," Karen replied. "You've not been so bad yourself."
Peter chuckled. "Thanks."
He then moved and, with surgical precision, removed the component that powered his new suit. He paused after doing so, still holding it, falling into a moment of silence for Karen. It wasn't the same as losing a person, but it still hit him harder than he would've expected, regardless of his present circumstances.
He then set the piece aside and continued working; Peter couldn't let himself be stopped now. Finding the power of his main suit that he'd been wearing underneath all this time was much easier, as he remembered where to look from when he and Ned had taken it apart two years ago to remove the tracker that Mr. Stark had installed. As soon as he removed it, his suit deflated as it would when he would press the spider symbol to remove it. Working around this would be a hassle at times, but nothing he couldn't get through.
After hooking up the power devices from his suits to the ship and making what repairs he could, several hours later, Peter felt the ship was about as ready as it was going to be. He tightened up what he needed to, making one last check on everything before returning to the cockpit. He knew chunks of the exterior were probably still damaged, but he had done everything possible on the inside, even though some things were beyond full repair without better tools.
Strapping himself in, he looked to the button that would fire up the engines.
"Alright," he said, rubbing his hands together. "Here goes nothing."
He pressed the button and felt immediate relief when the engines came to life. They weren't quite roaring as potently as they had before, but it was more than enough to reassure him. He then reached for the hyper drive lever, hoping that what luck he was having right now held out.
"Alright May, Ned….here I come," he said, pushing the lever forward. Next thing he knew, Peter was zooming forward, the universe swirling in almost like a cloud around him. He was back on course, but this time he already knew there would be no dozing off for him. As his mind typically worked, Peter immediately started wondering what might go wrong next. For all he knew, he could have to go through another pile of wreckage of even an asteroid field to make it home.
So he stayed in his seat. He was desperately hungry, but he refused to get up. His sleep cycle was hopelessly messed up, but he refused to sleep. He was going to sit there, in the driver seat of this alien ship that he had been thrown into learning how to pilot, and wait out the remainder of his trip.
As he did, his mind began to wonder. What was even going on back home? Was the world in total chaos, or just in one collective state of shock? How in the world was he going to adequately convey this experience to Ned, who would no doubt have questions?
Mostly though, he thought of May. How in the world was he going to convince her to ever let him out as Spider-Man again? When she had found out, she wasn't exactly pleased about his "internship." Still, with time as well as his honest confession regarding what really happened with Peter's Uncle Ben, May came to understand why he felt he had to do this, if not begrudgingly so. Fortunately, since that time, he hadn't been in anything too life threatening… at least not when compared to his current situation.
Still, whatever grief she would end up giving him, it would be all worth it just to feel one of her trademark tight hugs again. Somehow, no matter the situation, they always made him feel better. The same was true of his and Ned's handshakes. They had made up their special handshake back in middle school, and it served as a constant reminder of their brotherhood. Peter had never been the most popular kid in his school, neighborhood, or anywhere else, but honestly, his relationships with his aunt and his best friend were worth more than a swarm of friends.
Those were the kind of relationships that lasted a life time.
Man, it was going to be so good to see them.
Peter had gotten so caught up in his thoughts that he almost jumped when, hours after taking off again, the ship made another noise. When he composed himself, he realized it was no alarm or warning of danger this time. It was the signal that he was about to arrive at his destination.
It was the signal that he was home.
Peter pulled the lever to disengage the hyper drive, and sure enough, once the galaxy materialized around him, there was earth in all its blue and green beauty, directly ahead.
"I did it," Peter said, stunned by the fact that, after all his bad luck, after all the bad dreams and even hallucinations, he was finally here.
Well, almost.
Taking the controls, Peter guided the ship into earth's atmosphere. His anticipation grew with every passing second that he felt as though he was in the clouds forever, even if it was actually for a short time. Eventually, New York materialized into view below him.
"Probably best if I land somewhere a little less…crowded," Peter said, looking down at all the buildings below him. The last thing he needed was to cause more panic by dropping in the heart of NYC in a spaceship after an alien had caused all this in the first place. He eventually came to a more wooded area, finally dropping the ship out of the sky slowly until he found a decent landing space. He engaged the landing gear, hovering over the ground while trying to make the final drop slowly.
"Easy," Peter said, the suspense of the moment building up. "Easy."
Then the ship dropped, crashing hard onto the earth's surface. Peter felt his insides shake at the sudden nature, but at least he had made it. Not even taking the moment to let out a breath or relief that his journey was over, he lowered the ramp and immediately raced out. However, as soon as he exited the ship, he realized something: he was still in his suit, even if in a deflated state, without his mask. Opting for the safe route, he found a manhole cover and used the hole it hid to disappear underground. He used the disgusting underbelly of New York before, so he at least knew where to go.
Moving rapidly along the wall, he eventually came to another covered hole that came out just in front of his apartment building. Making his exit (and beginning to realize just how awful he smelled), he hurriedly made his way to the alley, where he began climbing the side of the building. He came to where he could see his window, and he locked his eyes onto it, moving faster. Finally, he came to it, and he stuck his fingers against the pane and slid it open.
"May!?" he called out before he even fully entered the room. "May, are you home!?" Peter went running out of his room and into May's room, but no one was there. He went to the kitchen and the living room, but no one was there either. He was disheartened, but his brain quickly rationalized that maybe she was out looking for him still, or maybe she was staying with a friend, or…
He had to find her.
Since his phone was long dead by now, Peter changed into normal clothes and ran out the door. He didn't stop running until he reached May's workplace. By that point, he was exhausted, but he didn't care. He ran into the building, completely bypassing the front desk worker. He found her desk, but she wasn't there.
It was at that point that he noticed the people in the room were looking at him. Their eyes looked like they knew something he didn't and he didn't like it.
"No," Peter said, refusing to concede yet. He turned and ran again, almost running someone over as he pushed the front door open and ran out of the building, barely getting in an apology as he kept going.
He then went to Ned's place, which wasn't too far from there thankfully. He knocked on the door, but no one answered. He tried again, practically pounding this time.
"Hello?" he called out. "Ned? Anybody home!?"
He was met with silence, so he ran and looked in all the windows, but couldn't see any indications of someone there.
"No no no," Peter muttered as he backed up from the house, running his hands at the top of his head. Nobody must be home; Ned and his parents must be out right now, and May must be out helping, leading some kind of initiative or something…
"Peter!"
Peter spun around faster than anyone should be capable of to see none other than Happy Hogan running, or rather jogging, towards him.
"Peter, thank goodness I found you," the man said.
"Happy," Peter said, "where's May? Have you heard anything about her, or Ned?"
The man's expression shifted at the questions, and Peter could tell he knew something.
"Happy," Peter repeated, slowly grabbing onto the man's jacket sleeves, his voice weak with desperation, "where are they?"
"Peter," Happy began, clearly struggling to get out what he needed to say, "I… after what happened… I tried to locate them, but…." All Happy could do at this point was shake his head.
"No," Peter said as he shook his head, fighting back tears, fighting back the idea that he had come all this way just to hear the worst news possible. "No, no they're here, they ARE HERE, Happy."
"Peter, I'm sorry."
"No, no you're WRONG!" Peter yelled, his grip tightening on Happy's jacket. "They're here! They have to be!"
"I'm sorry but they're gone Peter," Happy said, the man's expression broken. "May and Ned are gone."
"No!" Peter yelled again, repeating it more softly as he slowly sank to the ground, the weight of it all coming down on him all at once. It wasn't right; it wasn't fair, none of it. He had fought so hard, overcome so much…
Yet, all this time, he had nothing to come to.
Guys…. I'm sorry. I promise it gets better, eventually!
Hope you all are still enjoying it despite the rough ride!
Continuing to pray for you all; stay safe and healthy!
"And when Jesus cried out again in a loud voice, He gave up His spirit." Matthew 27:45-56
