A week came and went, and things were... better. Peter was grateful to at least have a couple of people to socialize with now. He and Happy had been hanging out more around the apartment when Happy wasn't busy at work. Peter was surprised to find that Happy was a nerd when it came to all things Star Wars as well, though they would frequently debate the watch value of the prequel trilogy. Happy would always say that it didn't measure up to the standards of the original trilogy, but Peter repeatedly insisted that it didn't have to, that it had cool action, and that it told the story it needed to.

As for M.J, Peter texted her every so often, and they had met up again at the same coffee shop a few days ago. He was surprised at how much he was enjoying learning more about the mysterious Michelle Jones, even some of the quirkier things. For instance, she had taped over her computer camera a while back in order to ensure that nobody could use it to spy on her. There was a time when Peter might've thought such a thing was ridiculous, but after learning the truth about H.Y.D.R.A.'s infiltration of S.H.I.E.L.D... maybe M.J. was actually onto something...

Still, Peter couldn't shake the feeling that M.J. was still keeping a part of herself hidden. Granted, he was more than aware that he didn't get to talk about such thing, dual identities and all. This felt different though, and it likely had to do with her parents disappearing. M.J. never did mention her parents much before, so she could just not be close to them. It was just that... the couple times he had brought up May and Ned, M.J. listened dutifully. However, she seemed to look for the first opportunity to change the subject once he had said what he wanted to. Everyone deals with grief differently, but... Peter was really starting to wish M.J. would just let him be there for her.

There was another thing, or person, on Peter's mind of late though: Spider-Man.

A couple of days ago, while Happy was out, Peter worked up the courage to turn on the news. He ended up seeing story after story regarding how the police force was, naturally, sliced in half, so they were grossly shorthanded. Plus, with owners and workers of various shops and stores having been dusted as well, the number of potentially unreported thefts or break-ins could be quite high, as there was literally nothing and no one in these places to stop them. In short, while the world might largely be on pause, criminals weren't.

Later that night, Peter had followed this up with asking Happy a question that had been on his mind for some time: how many of the Avengers survived the snap? Happy's answer came after a moment of hesitation and a hard swallow.

"Just you, kid."

Those words had hit Peter like a freight train. He could've sworn he remembered Thanos had said that the snap he performed would select AT RANDOM from the universe's population. Somehow, this felt anything but that.

Still, there was one inescapable feeling in Peter's being that this and his viewing of the news had brought on.

The city, the world even, needed a hero. It needed Spider-Man. The problem was that Peter wasn't sure he was ready.

Peter had been staring at his suit for a few minutes now. He had asked Happy to run to his and May's old place to get it for him, fearing all the memories there might be overwhelming for him. Happy had graciously obliged, but even now as it sat on his bed beside him, Peter had been unable to even touch it. The last memory he had of it wasn't exactly a good one, being isolated in space then arriving home only to find he had lost those closest to him. Yet, despite those memories flowing through his brain, his eyes remained trained on the costume. He had to try.

Reaching slowly, he put his hand on the suit. Taking in a deep breath, he let it back out slowly. So far, so good. Peter knew he would still have to come up with a new power source for his suit, seeing as he had used the last one just to get home. Putting his scientific brain to good use, he looked around the apartment for some items he might be able to use. That, plus a quick trip to get a few things from the store, and he had what he needed to build a small power pack that, while not exactly the same as the last one, should be no less efficient when it came to powering the suit.

Working carefully, Peter took his time to make sure each component synced up just right. Upon completion, he gently set it into the suit, trying his best not to let his mind get ahead of itself regarding what would come next of it worked. Almost as soon as it was properly installed, all systems seemed ago.

Now for the big moment.

"Breathe easy Pete," he told himself out loud as he slowly put one leg in his suit. "You got this."

First leg. Then the other. Then his right arm, followed by his left. He let out another breath as he tapped the spider symbol in the center. Sure enough, the suit clamped around his figure.

"Well, that wasn't so bad," Peter said, completing the look by slipping his mask on.

That's when his mind went crazy.

"No," Peter muttered, squinting his eyes shut, but it was too late. Clear as day, the images from the horrible day came to him: the fireballs, Thanos disappearing through a portal, Mr. Stark and the others disappearing...

Ripping his mask off and quickly pressing the spider symbol on his chest, Peter gasped for air as if he'd been sealed in some unventilated space, struggling to compose himself.

"Peter, you okay?" Happy said, his footsteps thudding towards the room. The man had honored Peter's request to be alone as he worked on then put on the suit, but he had clearly heard the result anyway. Peter looked up at Happy once the man was in his doorway, tears in his eyes. They were tears filled with so many emotions: frustration, anger, fear... but mostly disappointment.

"I couldn't do it, Happy."

The next day basically came and went as Peter just lied around in his room most of the day. He had spent most of his largely sleepless night angry at himself. He saw it on the news: people were counting on him. He needed to step up, just like Mr. Stark, May, Ned...like Uncle Ben would've wanted. Yet, when the time came, he was the same thing he'd been on Titan.

A failure.

As the sky started to darken once more, Peter's rage had now subsided to something more resembling depression. He just couldn't shake the feeling that Thanos had beat him now in more ways than one. First, he had beat him by achieving his goal, but now he had won even over Peter's spirit.

Hearing his phone vibrate against the nightstand next to his bed, Peter reached over to see who it was, welcoming the potential distraction.

M.J: "Hey."

Wow, quite the conversation starter... one he had used himself more than once, if he was quite honest.

"Hey," he responded back. Hopefully they could get a conversation going, then Peter could get his mind off of...

M.J: "You okay?"

Peter slumped his head against the pillow.

"Why do you ask?" he responded, kind of but not entirely dodging the question.

A minute later, a response:

M.J: "You're usually more talkative in response to someone addressing you, even over text."

Wow, she had picked up on that just from just a week's worth of sporadic text conversation? She really was very observant. Except... now that he was thinking about it, Peter did remember that he would often see M.J. a lot of places around school. This was probably just coincidence, except for the fact that she was even in the detention room almost every time he was.

Had she been following him?

Peter shook the ridiculous thought out of his head. Really, the thought that anyone would follow him around, aside from the fact that it was just creepy in general, was preposterous even if it were flattering. Even if it was a pretty girl like...

Wait, did he just think of M.J. as pretty?

What was happening to him? This wasn't exactly the subject he thought would distract his ever dwelling on the wrong stuff brain.

Realizing he was leaving M.J. waiting for an answer to her original question, Peter forced himself back to the present, grabbing his phone and typing an answer.

"Sorry, just, you know, struggling a bit. Bad memories and stuff."

A moment later, a response:

M.J: "I see. Well, if you need something to distract yourself, we could always use some more outside help at the F.E.A.S.T. Shelter. Only if you're interested. No pressure."

Peter thought on her offer for a moment. He might be upset at himself for not being able to put on the Spider-Man suit, but perhaps being Spider-Man wasn't the only way to help people right now. Maybe there were even more important ways? He recalled how he used to help over at the community center in Queens with May in the aftermath of Ben's death. It had taken him a little while to truly feel ready, but once he did, the feeling of doing a good thing for others, something Ben had always preached, at least helped him to move forward.

Maybe this opportunity at F.E.A.S.T. could somehow do the same?

"Okay, sure," Peter responded, his mind made up as he typed the words. "I'll be over tomorrow morning."

I apologize; things have been crazy lately, but here is the next chapter! I'm going to try and be more consistent regarding posting these on the daily, so here's to keeping up with that!

Anyway, hope you all are still enjoying the story!

Continuing to pray for you all! Stay safe and healthy!

"'Truly I tell you', He said, 'This poor widow has put more in than all the others.'" Luke 21:1-4