"You seem to be enjoying yourself."
Peter paused the process of slipping on his jacket, looking to see Happy at the door of his room.
"What?" he asked, caught off guard by the sudden statement.
"At F.E.A.S.T," Happy clarified. "You seem to really like it there. I don't think I've ever seen a kid so excited about volunteer work."
Peter smiled.
"I do love it," he affirmed, finishing putting on his jacket. "It gives me a sense of purpose again. It's nice to find a way to help since, you know..."
"I know," Happy said, seemingly understanding what Peter couldn't put into words. The truth was, he was still itching to get back out there and be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man again, but he still couldn't bring himself to put on the suit. The most he could ever get to any more was just looking at it, but even that just served as a reminder of his failure.
Since finding F.E.A.S.T. though, Peter had at least found a mission in life again, a mission he had known in some capacity long before his days swinging through the concrete jungles of New York. He'd always gleaned satisfaction from helping the less fortunate since May first invited him to help at the old community center in Queens. F.E.A.S.T. was different though; they had so many more resources and could reach so many more people, both in the building and outside of it. In the two weeks since he'd started volunteering there, Peter had already come to feel right at home with the way things ran there.
"Well, anyway, I better get going," Peter said. "Martin said he had something particularly important he needed done today."
"That man seems to trust you with a lot," Happy said, following Peter as he headed out of the room.
"It's really just that there is that much to do," Peter replied, walking out into the living room of the apartment. "Even after all this time, it still seems like more and more people come to us for help every day."
"Well, whatever you do, have fun," Happy said, taking a seat on the couch as Peter went to grab his key.
"Wait, you're not going to work today?" Peter questioned, giving Happy a puzzled look.
"Nope; my first day off in weeks," Happy said. "Things are finally settling down a little bit at Stark Industries, plus we have some other guys that could use some extra time anyway."
"Well, how generous of you to sit on the couch and watch TV all day for their sake," Peter teased.
"Well, you know, I do what I can," Happy answered, offering a mock bow. Peter enjoyed giving Happy a hard time, but he knew that if anyone had earned a day off, it was him. The man had been working every day for weeks, and he had been clearly running thin of late. Still, Happy was just too easy a target.
"Alright, well, see you later Mr. Humanitarian," Peter said, winking and getting in one final jest before opening then closing the door behind him.
Peter came to Martin's office, giving a couple light knocks as he approached the door.
"Peter, excellent timing," Martin said, quickly standing up from his desk. "Please, come in."
Peter obliged, walking up to the desk.
"So, what's this big project you have for me today?" Peter asked curiously. Martin had had him do everything from pack goodie bags to assembling furniture to even unclogging a toilet, so the possibilities seemed endless.
"I actually want to take advantage of your skill set when it comes to technology," Martin answered. "When I ran my background check on you, I spoke to some of your teachers, and they all spoke very highly of you when it came to your knowledge and your grasp in that world."
"Oh, okay," Peter said. He wasn't disappointed, but this was still not what he was expecting. He continued, "How exactly do you want to do that?"
"My computer has been running really slow recently," Martin explained. "I've gone back through and deleted some stuff, but everything else that's on there is too important. I was wondering if there was any way you could work on trying to upgrade it a little so that it can hold more?"
Peter was even more surprised now.
"Umm...I'll do what I can," he replied, "but, I mean, I really appreciate your faith in me sir, but why don't you hire and expert or someone with more experience and training?"
"I know, I'm sure I sound crazy trusting a teenager to handle my office computer," Martin began, "and you're right, I could spend a little extra money and I wouldn't think anything of it. But Peter, one thing I believe in is taking a chance on the people that I know really want to help and growing the skills of the next generation. That's what this world needs if it's going to recover like this; for the young, the resilient like you to harness what they can do for the good of the world and lead us into a new era."
Wow, Peter hadn't expected Martin to get all deep and philosophical on him. Still, he appreciated the man's willingness to trust him with such an important task. Besides, he figured out how to operate (to some degree at least) an alien spaceship, so surely he could handle one simple little office computer, right?
"I appreciate that sir," Peter said. "I'll do my best."
"Thank you, Peter," Martin said. "Well, I have a couple errands I have to run, but I'll be back later today. If you get done before I get back, just find M.J. and help her with whatever she's doing. You two seem to make quite the team."
Peter smiled to himself at that last sentence.
"Yeah, we certainly do."
Once Martin moved out from behind his desk, Peter sat down in the chair that was there, scooting closer to get into position.
"Oh, Peter," Martin said, spinning back around, "one more thing: there's some sensitive material on there. You know, just business stuff, but still, I'd appreciate it if you didn't access any of my files, just for liability and confidentiality purposes."
"No problem," Peter said smiling. Not having access to any files on the computer might limit him to some degree, but he knew a few other tips and tricks from many nights staying up late tinkering with what old, abandoned tech he used to dig up in the garbage. It was perfectly reasonable to him that there would be liability concerns if he happened to look at the wrong thing too, so he'd do what he could.
Martin turned and walked out of the room, and Peter went to work. Tinkering with the computer as best he could while trying to honor his supervisor's request, he finally started to make some progress about thirty minutes into it. He looked at how much space in the system that Martin was using, studied how the system operated, and managed to open some space, though he wondered if he couldn't do more if he were to tear it apart and put it back together to function more efficiently in general. This wasn't some old and discarded laptop he had dug out of the trash though; this was an office computer that didn't allow time for such endeavors unless absolutely necessary, and Martin hadn't made it seem that urgent.
Satisfied enough with the results his work had achieved, Peter wrote a note stating what he was able to accomplish, leaving it on Martin's desk as he got up and walked out of the office. Going off his instructions, he decided to seek out M.J, though he kept an eye out as he walked about the facility to see if there was anyone who had a particular need. He did stop to help a fellow volunteer figure out how to operate a piece of machinery, but other than that, everything seemed well in hand for the time being.
M.J. usually tended to work on projects that didn't involve too many other people when possible, which usually involved either packing up supplies like they had done together on his first day there, or other things such as moving equipment or even, on more rare occasion, cleaning. Peter checked all the areas that might have entailed these things, but M.J. was nowhere to be found.
Deciding to figure out something else, Peter began heading towards the floor that had a series of multi-purpose rooms that were used for anything from counseling to simply private reading should somebody just want to get away. Martin had told him that sometimes they were usually pretty well organized, but he appreciated if volunteers would check on them from time to time. Usually if something was particularly needed, people would leave notes in small boxes just outside the doors.
When he arrived, all seemed quiet at first. Not many of the rooms seemed to be in use, so Peter went through, checking both the boxes and glancing in the rooms themselves just to see if they needed to be organized or cleaned in any way. A little into this task, he happened to glance and see somebody in one of the rooms that the door was not closed. Immediately he jerked his head away, not wanting to intrude on anyone's privacy. He had heard stories from Martin about how some people just go up there to cry or even journal as the world continued to deal with the loss of many loved ones at once.
Despite these stories, Peter thought he recognized who was in there, so he dared to take a glance again, and sure enough, he was right.
It was M.J.
She wasn't crying though, or journaling, or anything else of the sort. She was sitting there, staring at the wall, and when Peter got a good enough look, he realized she was lightly trembling. Daring to check in on her, Peter gave a very gentle knock on the door.
"M.J?"
The girl nearly jumped out of her skin at this, turning to face Peter. He was mortified by what he saw: her face was heavy with sweat, her shaking intensified, and she was starting to struggle for air. Peter recognized this all too well.
M.J. was having a panic attack.
While he was pretty sure his experience wasn't as bad, he remembered at least a couple instances of having one not long after he first got back to earth. Once Happy even had to sit there with him, even as he gripped the side of the counter so hard that he almost tore it off as he tried to hold onto something tangible to ground himself.
Without hesitation, Peter went to her side.
"It's okay, it's okay," he said, taking her hand in his. "Deep breaths; focus your breathing."
M.J. barely seemed to acknowledge he was even there at first, but after a moment her grip on his hand tightened. Slowly but surely, her breathing began to return to normal, and she stopped sweating.
"There," Peter said gently. "It passed. It's okay."
M.J. didn't answer him; instead, she wiped the sweat off her face then got up abruptly and, in a hurry, exited the room.
"Hey M.J!" Peter called out, getting up from the floor. He was nervous that her haste might only make it come worse again. However, by the time he got to the door, M.J. was already out of the hallway, and he had no way of knowing which way she went.
Peter went on to search the building for her, but she was nowhere to be found. She likely went to her room or somewhere just as private to make sure she would not be disturbed this time. Left to his own thoughts, Peter started to feel a wave of guilt washing over him. Had he actually made things worse in the long run by going into the room? Sure, her panic attack seemed to gradually subside, but what if she was on the mend already when he got there?
While he had been enjoying getting to know her better over these last several weeks, most of it had been lighthearted, superficial things. Peter had found himself wanting to get to know M.J. on a deeper level in recent days, but that had proven nearly impossible. Anytime he would start to try and go a little deeper, M.J. always changed the subject or shifted the conversation somehow. Had this been him trying to force himself into a place that she wasn't even ready?
"Peter."
Peter almost jumped at Martin Li's voice.
"Oh, hey," Peter replied.
"You okay, Peter?" Martin asked. "You seemed distracted."
"Yeah, sorry about that," Peter answered. "Just, you know, a lot on my mind, like anybody else I guess."
"Yeah," Martin responded. There was a brief pause before Peter spoke up again.
"I wrote a note in your office, but I was able to open up a little more space on your computer, and don't worry; I didn't see anything."
"Thank you so much, Peter," Martin responded.
"Well, I think I'm actually going to head home," Peter said. "I checked around, but things seem good here."
"Alright," Martin said. "See you next time."
"Yeah, next time," Peter said, turning and walking past Martin toward the exit.
All Peter could think about the rest of the day was M.J. He was worried about her; despite her recent turn of friendliness towards him, she still seemed very closed off. Perhaps it was her holding that in that had truly caused the panic attacks. He was afraid that, whether it was to him or somebody else, if she didn't open up to someone soon, instances like these might only get worse.
The other aspect of this whole thing that was on his brain was how much M.J. had actually been on his brain recently. Before this whole thing with Thanos, he had been perfectly content to say hello to her, maybe having a brief conversation from time to time, but that was about it. Since they first met up at the coffee shop though, he had been quite surprised at how much she was coming to mean to him, and how much he was only wanting to spend more time with her. It seemed like, for everything he learned about her, he wanted to know ten more things.
Peter sat up on his bed, shaking his head before he went too far down that rabbit hole. He needed to focus on a way to help M.J. He just didn't have a clue what that looked like, so he decided to do the only thing he could do: let her know that he was there for her.
Pulling out his phone, Peter pulled up M.J.'s contact, selecting it to type a message. His fingers froze up though as his mind tried to draft the perfect message; one that would not be too forceful or invasive but would simply get the point across.
Finally, he began typing.
"Hey, it's me. I just wanted to apologize if I did the wrong thing by coming in earlier. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I... I just want you to know that, if you ever need to talk, or just somebody to be there for you, I'm here for you. You don't even have to reply to this if you want. I don't want to make you feel like you have to do something. You don't owe me anything. I just want you to know you can trust me, and that you don't have to be alone."
Peter hit send, then put his phone off to the side and lied down for the night, uncertain if a response would even come.
Thank you to all who have been following this story! It's been really cool to see. Please, feel free to leave any thoughts as we continue to move along.
Continuing to pray for you all; stay safe and healthy!
"For the Lord will vindicate His people; He will have compassion on His servants." Psalm 135:14
