CHAPTER 2

It didn't take long for the cool early morning air to calm Ryan's nerves, the gentle breeze running through his hair as he leant forwards, arms resting on his knees with a beer held precariously between his fingers. Sunrise was still a couple of hours away, and despite his love and enthusiasm for the outdoors, this was not a time of day he often saw, at least sober. There'd been many a night he'd zigzagged his way home from the Lantern from an evening with Gabe and Steph where nothing really happened, but a lot went down – that they then didn't remember much off the following morning.

It was one of those nights Gabe first talked about Alex, and really talked about her. The first time he'd seen his friend cry had been one of those nights as the long evening of drinking games heightened Gabe's' sheer sense of guilt at not having been there for the sister he had meant to protect. Ryan had let him talk, hearing broken stories of their childhood from before their mum had died to the look a 12-year-old Alex had given him that had been filled with pain and hurt as a young girl hadn't just see her big brother being taken away, she also learnt the hard way that those she loved left her. Gabe had given a harsh laugh at that, hurting that it had to be Charlotte who had had to interpret that look that neither Chen had known would be the last one.

Gabe had been unable to hide his trepidation at the start of the year when he admitted he was finally starting to look for Alex, giving his reason that he was 25 now and if he wanted to ever come to terms with abandoning her then he'd need to know if she hated him, never thought of him or had spent as much time wondering where he was as he'd spent worrying about her. Ryan, Steph, and Charlotte had all let him think they believed that when it was clear he simply missed her and wanted his sister in the life he was building.

Any update on his search was broadcast to the town; from the day in February when he'd finally found the right number for her after calling more than a few Alex Chen's in the Portland area, had been quite a sight to see. He'd bounded down the stairs into the bar waving his phone in the air and the largest grin splitting his face, jumping down the last few steps to shout for all to hear that he'd found her, and she didn't hate him, and then promptly missing the last step to hit the floor face first. Like a small child he managed to bounce back up, grin still in place with a new bruise to his cheek.

His excitement had been infectious and over the next few weeks as the siblings kept in touch, Gabe soaked up all the information his sister gave him and passed this on to the group chat to ensure he didn't say the wrong thing back to her to make her stop talking to him. By the beginning of April when she finally agreed to move to Haven, Ryan knew more than a fair bit about her; what music she as into, films she liked and a few she didn't and knew she was going to get on with Steph like a house of fire. Gabe had eagerly shown her picture to everyone in town, so they knew who to give a special warm welcome to when she arrived and Ryan had started to get excited himself to finally meet the younger Chen sibling, even if the nerves had already started to show. Based on what Gabe had shared with them and the small digging he'd done himself on her public profiles, he wasn't sure if the witty and sharp city girl was going to be at all interested by him.

That hadn't stopped his irrational brain and his crush on her had been in full swing by the time he'd bumped into her in the record store and scored the highest most awkward first meeting he'd ever had the pleasure to be part of. He'd learnt straight away that the shy young woman in front of him was full of surprises; after withdrawing into herself as she tried to not hide behind her hair in such a way that he instantly found adorable, the banter that is more natural to him now thanks to the influence of Gabe and Steph, had Alex laughing at something he'd said in moments and by the time she risked her life with Valkyre, he didn't need to convince himself too hard to see that they were even flirting.

His skin had tickled, he'd felt lightheaded, he'd forced down the urge to hold her hand again just to feel her skin against his and instead he'd did all he could to prolong their time together – especially when she scrunched up her nose and bit her lip to hide a snort of laughter that had his insides doing somersaults. His chest had swelled when she'd turned back with the hold list in hand, the smile on her face bright enough to hide any doubts lingering in his mind that he was being ridiculous, that one does not fall for a girl they haven't even met let alone within half an hour of meeting. Those thoughts didn't make it to the forefront of his mind, though he was enjoying the company of a pretty girl and he was content.

With the interlude of Steph's storm of anger and Alex's withdrawal back into herself along with the complete shutdown of their comfortable exchange that left Ryan feeling cold; he'd almost been able to see the walls going back up around her and he'd thought back to one of Gabe's many fears for his sister – just what exactly had the last 8 years been like for her and what damage had been done? Ryan suddenly had a tiny insight to what some of that could be as she'd all but merged with the countertop in an attempt to hide, her discomfort as clear as her fondness for her brother had been only moments before. Ryan had been part of a few rescues in his time as ranger but in none of them had he had the urge to wrap his arms around the person and protect them from what had hurt them as he did at that moment, thankfully his rational brain decided that doing just that would be a bad idea with Alex.

Despite the highs and lows of their first meeting, the look his best friend had given him upon his entrance, with his raised eyebrow and feigned annoyance, had turned Ryan to ice. 'You know we're trying to keep her in Haven, right?' Gabe had not only seen and had then tried to wing-man him with his baby sister, the one that Ryan had spent more time with so far than he had. The sly smirk sent his way would normally have sent Ryan begging for the floor to swallow him whole, but the slight pleading look on Alex's face had him play along and he gave a sheepish shrug. Then the thankful look she had sent his way as she left behind her brother had him puffing out his chest as he'd made his way to the studio – he'd helped a pretty girl without making said pretty girl run away, she'd even had fun, his best friend had clearly seen that he was crushing on his long lost sister and had gone as far as to suggest he'd be ok with that.

Yup, if he put all his first meetings with the handful of girls he'd been into in order, well this topped them all and boy oh boy had he fallen hard. The bewildered and highly unimpressed reaction that he'd gotten from Steph when she returned much calmer than when she left, to find he'd played every love song he could think of in her absence had done nothing to deter his good mood.

Thinking of said DJ, Ryan roused himself from his memories and spotted her dancing her way across the park in his direction. Standing up to greet her laughing as she waved her arms in the air to music only she could hear, her smile infectious.

'Still here smokeshow in a flannel?'

Ryan was glad it was still dark enough to hide his blush at her comment, his stomach erupting into butterflies again as he remembered Alex making that comment 'Was that only this morning?' had she not only picked him, but she'd also basically called him hot, giving his confidence a well needed boost by adding that it was a no brainer for her to pick him. Shrugging at Steph, he threw an arm around her shoulders to lead her back to the warmth of the fire.

'The rock star is still with Pike, meeting her here after. Where did you suddenly disappear to anyway?'

'Sudden? Dude, you were spaced out for like an hour over there, it's like 4am. I've walked both Eleanor and Duckie home. Shit that woman can seriously drink, I mean either that or she was forgetting what she had already had – '

Ryan barely noticed that Steph had stopped talking as he stepped away from her and froze, eyes wide, feeling the colour drain from his face, the gentle butterflies that had flitted in his stomach turning to stone. He ignored his friend as she tried to reach out to him as he paced backwards and forwards in front of her, mind racing, clammy hands reaching again for his phone. Confirmed, it was 4:18am and still no message from Alex. Last message still unread. He'd left her in bed, naked, dark eyes sparkling with amusement and laughter on her lips as she'd watched him leave over 3 hours ago.

Flicking his head from side to side, he searched through the increasing light from the incoming dawn; flowers and bottles littered around the fire pit, trampled grass in front of the empty stage, Steph's drumkit cold without its creative force behind it, Alex's guitar still beside the stage in the grass. Food abandoned on tables, chairs, beside flowerbeds.

Taking off through the park Ryan stopped opposite the Lantern; the bar was dark, lights on in the apartment and the roof. Click. 'You've reached the voicemail for number 202 555 0191, please leave your message after the beep. Beep.'

He froze as his blood ran cold. He didn't feel his arm drop to his side, or his phone fall to the sidewalk. He did not notice Steph come up beside him, hand on his back and gently lead him into the bar. He barley picked up on Steph sitting him down in the booth beside the stairs that the locals had already started leaving empty for the three of them.

'Breath Ryan, look at me and please just breath.'

Turning his head slowly to Steph to his right, he shuddered as he picked up on his hand being held tightly in Steph's strong grip, blood rushed through his ears and as he kept his gaze on the worried green eyes of his friend. He felt his rapid heartbeat begin to slow. He closed his eyes and leant forwards until his head rested on the table, one hand still gripping Steph's hand, the other rooting himself to the table.

He was a state park ranger, he was trained for disasters, he knew how to deal with potential missing people, he knew, he trained, and he managed perfectly well to not – not - fucking – panic.

He breathed out a heavy sigh as he leant back, stretched out his legs beneath the table and sunk into his seat, his head hitting the wood behind him.

'Fuck Steph, I'm sorry.'

He snapped his head towards her as she released her grip on his hand and smacked him over the head.

'Hey! What was that for?!'

Rubbing his head, he frowned at her as she moved to the bar and came back with Duckie's whiskey and two shot glasses that had been left at the end of the bar. Filling the shot glasses, without saying a word she lifted her glass and gestured for him to do the same. Satisfied once both had taken their fill, she re-filled the glasses, took a calming breath herself, turned in her seat and looked at him with compassion.

'You do realise you have nothing to be sorry for right?' Don't argue with me, let me finish. Less than a month ago, you went into the mountains to find a missing kid – you know how to do that, you prepared, you knew what you needed to do. You got a girl you'd just met safely across a god damn ravine on a dodgy ass tree and back again with calm and ease. You then made the hardest decision you'll ever have to make, both as a ranger and as you, to cut that rope and come home with one less person.'

Ryan sat frozen as Steph talked, he'd never heard her talk like this before and she certainly hadn't talked to him about that night. She took another shot and continued.

'I know you lied earlier, you guys didn't ''just talk'', you're a shit liar by the way; and yea it's obvious to everyone that you like Alex, but I know you Lucan and I can tell you like her. Ryan, it's completely fucking natural to freak the hell out when you think something could have happened to someone you care about. On top of losing someone else you really cared about, and to lose them because of an evil corporation that a new someone you care about is currently talking to the police about – just – it's ok, I get it.'

Ryan swallowed the large lump that had formed in his throat as he fought back the grief that day still invoked and soaked up the truth of what Steph was telling him. He took a shaky breath in an attempt to slow the thoughts racing through his mind, the various scenarios that Alex could be in, none of them good.

Steph moving his hand around his shot glass re-focusing him and taking another breath he threw it back, poured another and drained that glass too.

'Thanks Steph.'

She grinned at him and shrugged, waving off his thanks as he felt his tense body begin to ease its grip on his muscles.

'You do know she'll be alright right? We have options; 1, the most likely, is she's still with Pike. 2 – she's seen Pike, went upstairs and has simply fallen asleep, yes with the lights on. C'mon, she's 21 and not paying the electric! 3 – whatever you guys actually did or said up there has her freaking out right now and she needs time to figure it out.'

'What makes you think she'd be freaking out?'

The words were out of his mouth before he could re-phrase it, or not say it at all. He didn't want to let on what they'd done, but his panic returned bringing with it his self-doubt and worry that he'd let things go too far too quickly and that despite her last words and kisses, Alex already regretted earlier and was actively avoiding him. The raised eyebrow on Steph's face was also having the opposite effect of reassuring him.

Realising that he did not have a clue what she had meant, Steph sighed and returned to the bar coming back with a few beers each and sat opposite him.

'Before giving you the lowdown on what to expect on dating a kid from a broken home, you're gonna have to give me some background here.'

He opened his mouth to correct her, they weren't 'dating' per-say and Alex wasn't a kid. Another raised eyebrow from the DJ snapped his mouth shut. Looking round the bar, he could see a petal and a bit of soil under a stool at the bar; looking over his shoulder up the stairs he'd been glad earlier that Alex had been in the habit of not locking her front door, even if he'd also wanted to scold her for it.

Looking back at Steph, he could see her frowning slightly, she was clearly worried although seemed to be more for him, although the leg bouncing under the table and the tap of her finger against the bottle were signs, she hadn't quite believed her own words to him. He was going to have handle this next bit right without breaking his word to Alex on keeping things between them as much as possible, 'we haven't talked yet; what are we? I mean, I didn't ask her out, but then she didn't either – did she want me to? Should I have done? If she's ignoring me, is she pissed I didn't? Or is it a good thing I didn't? She'd said that this wasn't a one-night stand, she did say she liked, really liked me but this could still be a friends with benefits situation – right? Urgh, focus Ryan, just talk to Steph, this is not the first time you've talked about girls.'

'I really didn't think she'd give me a rose. Thanks for publicising that by the way.'

'Well…Haven needed to know its very own most eligible bachelor had finally been picked, and by its' newest eligible lady no less.'

Hiding his smile behind his beer, Ryan thought of the less than lady like language he'd had moaned and whimpered into his ear that evening. He managed to keep the blush from his face this time as his gaze wandered anywhere but at Steph, 'The Lady Chen gave more than a rose today, maybe even broke down one of those walls of hers to realise she can have a home here in Haven.'

He's smile turned into a smug smirk as he remembered he was not the only one with gossip from today's events. If Steph wanted background, then she needed to give some of her own.

'Hmm, the far juicer gossip that's been flittering through town Miss Gingrich, is that while no rose, you did get a proposal today.'

He did have to admit to himself, getting any rise out of Steph took work, he was far easier to wind up than she was, so managing to catch her mid sip turning her into a blushing and spluttering mess all at once – pure joy. What colour had Alex said that was – gold/yellow? He couldn't help himself as the loud laugh erupted from his chest, reaching over to clap Steph on the back. It felt good to laugh, even if he let the thought that if Alex was upstairs and heard them, she'd come down linger at the forefront before letting it go to focus on his spluttering friend.

'Jeez, she told you about that?! I know she didn't mean it but didn't think she'd joke about it.'

'Wait, no no no, Ethan told me - '. It was Ryan's turn to grip onto Steph as she tried to get up. Huffing at him she pulled her arm out his grip and crossed her arms over her middle as he realised the blush on her face was of pure hurt rather than embarrassment. Holding his hands up to bring peace, he explained.

'I was trying to talk to Ethan before he left his dad, you saw how he was after the LARP after hearing the damn warning siren. I thought if I could get him talking about the rest of day then he could focus on the good bits you know; managed to get him to open up enough to say he enjoyed fighting the dire wolf the most – despite my better judgement – and he started to just relax a bit you know? I mean, he's 10 so he thinks adults are weird anyway, but even he noticed something in the shop between you guys.'

Ryan sighed and he sat back. Looking at his friend sadly, he tried for a smile instead with a small shrug.

'I'd said something to Alex, well Alwynn, and seems Gabe had started secretly teaching Ethan other things other with swearing. He was just wondering if what he'd seen had been flirting and why Alex had seemed to flirt with us both. I didn't get a chance to answer, which was good as I did not have a single idea on what to tell him! What do you tell a kid who currently thinks girls are 'gross' and should be avoided at all costs? Unless apparently those girls are you and Alex.'

Steph's body relaxed as he spoke and she even allowed a characteristic snort in the right places as she took long mouthfuls of beer. Shaking her head he finally got her to laugh.

Looking up at her he turned serious. 'Alex wouldn't have teased or joked about proposing, part of a LARP or not, you know that right?' He felt himself nodding along with Steph as she signed and agreed with him. Hoping to turn the slight pink of her cheeks back to embarrassment, Ryan leant back fully in the booth, resting one arm behind his head the other picking up his still full beer and leg's stretched, ankles crossed, he sent the DJ the most teasing grin he could muster at this point of the evening – morning?

'So, how was the proposal? Was it romantic? Did she go down on one knee – or would that be you? Details Gingrich!'

His snicker at the indigent look on her face was quickly replaced with howl as she stood up to swat at his head, spluttering at him to shut up. She sent a kick at his legs that had him falling sideways in the booth, tears in his eyes but it was the hand on her hip and the finger pointed at his nose along with the low and slow voice she'd put on for her LARP role to tell him in no uncertain terms that she also got 'all of its associated benefits' that truly sent Ryan over the edge.

Taking deep breaths to calm the snickers that kept erupting from him, Steph sat back on her side of the booth and stretched out along the seat, kicking her legs gently against the wood, her gaze on the ceiling with her own grin showing she'd taken his tease as he'd meant it.

Silence fell between them and Ryan realised they'd never really discussed the fact they both had feelings for the younger Chen. It had been easy with Gabe, a brother to both, a force of nature who had bought Ryan out of his shell and showed him what he had been missing by not having a friend who both saw and liked him for the slightly awkward 'dork' he was behind the 'National Geographic pin up' looks. Yes he was oh so grateful that girlfriend had not lasted long.

Looking across at his friend, a fellow dork who fell far more into the 'cool' category than he could ever pull off, but as with Gabe she'd seen through his rather self-conscious first meeting where he'd struggled to get across how much he'd actually enjoyed her set in the Lantern; rather than rolling her eyes and turning away to effectively cut him out of the ribbing she was giving Gabe from whatever comment he'd made that had offended the drummer – instead she'd turned to him and with an honest smile she'd tried to swing an arm around his shoulders to tease that if even he could like her set then there was hope for the small town yet. That had opened the flood gates for the banter and teasing that would define the trio's friendship, and Ryan suddenly sobered at realising that had not been there much when it had just been Steph and himself since that night.

'I knew I didn't really have a chance with her you know?'

Steph's voice anchored him back to the now; he kept his silence letting her organise her thoughts, she was not one to talk about her feelings much, like Alex in that regards. He waited nervously as Steph pulled up her hand fingers stretched and pulled down one finger.

'Ok, so 1 - She'd been here for what half an hour and without knowing about her powers, you'd just seen a girl in distress – from my anger – and jumped straight in! I mean, no wonder that threw her off, from how much she doesn't say, it's pretty clear she hasn't had people really look out for her like that before. More on this point later mountain man.'

He gave a nervous chuckle at that, already wondering on what else was coming, they'd already had laughs and tears in this roller-coaster of a conversation and it was showing no signs of ending soon.

'Then 2 – ' a second finger dropped '- yea I was laying on the flirting pretty thick after the wake.' He saw Steph wince as she took a breath, this part he didn't know, 'Admittedly not my best move, but I thought she was flirting with me to be fair! Got me playing foosball again and yes for your information its apparently a Chen genetic trait to win.' Another small pause before Steph closed her eyes to carry on. 'I asked if she was into girls, and while she did say she'd mostly dated guys before, i.e there's at least 1 girl in her dating history, she did look all cute and flustered when I wing maned for you.'

Huh, she'd been affected by him that early on? He didn't try to hide his smile, and for once that evening, he could feel the warmth running through his whole body rather than just his cheeks. Looking down at Steph on the other side of the table, she was looking at him with an odd look on her face.

'What? Don't you have a third point here?'

She took a hard look at him, sat back up, leant her elbows on the table to rest her chin in her hands all without taking her eyes off him, not blinking. He tried to remember he was a full-grown adult and a trained ranger and that meant he did not fidget.

'Shit, you really have fallen hard for her haven't you?'

Ryan looked down, dropping his hands from his own beer and with nerves on full display, he played with the ring on his finger. 'Don't think Ryan, it's not a difficult question. It's not logical, but it doesn't matter that you've only known her for a month, or that you only kissed for the first time a few hours ago, or that you know just how to twist this finger to make her moan your name, or that you know she only truly relaxes with you and Steph. You don't care what she's been through – wait that's not what you mean – fuck Ryan, just answer Steph.

'I have, yea. You like her too.'

Steph leant back and mirrored him, stretching out her legs, played with her necklace with one hand, the other playing with her shot glass. She sent him a wide smile that reached her eyes, and she shook her head gently.

'If you really did do more than just talk earlier, then you'll know how much that doesn't matter, and that is ok with me. Why I hear you ask, especially as I'll admit, I did not handle her rejection over Diane well.'

They both laughed quietly at that, Steph's competitive nature was well documented, the fact she was still in Haven testament to that. Their unspoken rivalry on who Alex preferred had finally reared its head and Steph had been determined to win. Her disgust when she had - for once - not won the girl over Ryan had not dampened his surprise or delight and he'd had to pointedly ignore the looks from his dad as Steph had glared new holes into the bar completely ignoring his smug smile and blushing face.

'Dude, she is beyond into you, it's been obvious for weeks. The wake? I thought I'd managed to make her laugh and smile, but then I saw you guys walking back into town that afternoon and neither of you looked like you had that morning. Shit Ryan, your anger at Mac, at yourself was more palpable than Charlotte's grief at the wake but seeing you side by side – it was like you were floating in comparison. As for Alex? She was smiling, and truly smiling; and she was smiling at you, not just with you. If you'd been holding hands and I didn't know either of you I'd have taken you guys for a normal happy couple. You'd met 3 days before Ryan. She trusts you and has done since you met.'

Steph was getting more animated the more she talked, and Ryan let her talk, wanting to hear her perspective and so far she was confirming and adding to his own thoughts. His earlier doubts on whether Alex was currently ignoring him because she regretted their actions were being further kicked to the dust with each word.

'You wanted point 3? Here you go: you're flirting within 10 minutes of meeting and yes I could hear you; you're acting like a new couple in the awkward and cute stage within 3 days; within two weeks you've got a pure city girl mountain biking and she does not shut up about it; within three weeks you've convinced her to watch that weird British bloke show with no arm twisting on your part and no hesitation on hers and yes I checked. She clearly wants and enjoys spending time with you, I've seen the way she looks at you, shit, when you're in full mountain man mode, to giving hiking etiquette lectures to playing golf on the roof. It's so clear that on some level, the two of you belong together, you just work, it's like you have this understanding of each other. I just know that in the entire time I've known you, I've never seen you this alive, or this happy, so keep hold of her Ryan.'

Ryan stared at her, shocked into silence. He opened his mouth to say something but what could he respond with to that speech? He wasn't sure a simple 'thanks' would suffice, and it certainly wouldn't convey the heart swelling happiness he'd been filled with. He'd always known that he had a bond with Steph and Gabe, he'd just never quite realised they, or just Steph now had seen him this much to be able to say all that. He was startled out of thinking too much more on a response by a few choice curses from Steph. Frowning at her in confusion as she suddenly stood up and downed her beer.

'Dude its 5am, text Alex – don't worry about the broken home shit from earlier yea? I'll explain more later but go home. It's the council meeting tomorrow and we need to be alert for that, looking forward to seeing the look on Diane's face when Pike throws her USB evidence in her face!'

Nodding his agreement, but feeling thrown by the sudden end to their long overdue and much wanted on his part conversation, he padded down his jacket as he stood up feeling for his phone before Steph less than subtly placed it on the table moving it towards him.

'You uh, dropped it outside.'

Ah, the voicemail of Alex Chen that had caused him to freeze up earlier. Giving her an awkward smile, he placed it back in his jeans pocket, not wanting to ruin the end of their night with another panic attack.

'C'mon then drummer extraordinaire, let's lock up.'

He watched Steph walk down main street until she turned a corner and was lost to view before he pulled out his phone again. Alex still hadn't seen his message, and his call earlier had gone straight to voicemail; either she was completely ghosting him, her phone had died, and she'd not put it on charge, or something was wrong. Looking up at the still lit apartment, Ryan sent Alex another message 'Hope it went ok with Pike, sleep well, see you tomorrow / later? Xx'

The comfort of Steph's company had soothed the rugged edges of his worry and panic, but now that she'd gone and still no word from Alex, he could feel the tendrils crawling their way across his skin. He didn't register the walk home through the forest that would normally calm any jagged nerves, nor did he pay attention to the orange hue welcoming in the new dawn as pale gold rays lit up the trees around him.

It wasn't until he was home and had thrown clothes haphazardly across the room and was settled under his duvet, if not comfortably, staring at his ceiling and he was going through the last 6 odd hours in meticulous detail in Alex's silence, that he finally twigged that Steph had said she'd walked both Eleanor and Duckie home. Where the hell had his dad got to?