Cut to right temple, looks superficial, flesh wound – ignore for now.
Gash wound above left eyebrow, looks to have bled more than the other – what's that smell – fireworks?
Split lip, superficial, will heal – ignore.
Blood and dirt on face and neck, easy to handle; check if that's a bruise or dirt on her chin.
Bruise on her neck, what could have done – oh, that was me – uh – hmm – focus.
Jumper torn and bloodied – will have to get her a new one – next.
Shallow breathing – shit – did she drag herself back here from the mine like this?! – focus – shallow breathing, could be exhaustion, but she's gripping her side – nope she's finding it hard to breath, fuck she's got broken ribs – how -? FOCUS RYAN.
Cuts to arms, nothing to worry about but I don't like the way she's holding that arm.
Blood mainly on right leg, can't see anything obvious though, left leg hasn't been spared, not sure can save those jeans though.
She's limping, dragging that right leg, really do not like the look of that either.
You are most certainly not fucking 'fine' Alex.
She looks sad, why does she look sad?
She'd reached him by the time he'd completed his once over of her injuries, the weight that had been lifted at seeing her walk through the door dropped once more like a tonne of bricks on his soul as he'd taken in her physical state almost sent him to his knees. He could have wept at hearing her voice, he'd wished for it all night but her dismissal tone for herself broke a part of him.
He didn't want to hurt her, didn't know where it was safe to touch without causing her pain, guilt starting to eat at his insides. He'd known something was wrong, he should have been out there looking for her, sod it, he shouldn't have left her alone to begin with, he could have calmed her down, told her he didn't care that Typhon was threatening him, they were in this together, he'd have told her she'd done the right thing not signing anything Pike put in front of her, that he had her back until the end –
'Sorry, was meant to find you sooner, looking forward to that funnel cake.'
It took a few seconds too long for the realisation that she was trying to put him at ease hit him as she watched him, looking so painfully young, lost, and worried.
'Is this real? Is she really here? She's dragging herself through the room clearly with broken ribs, covered in blood and mud and you think this is an illusion?'
'What happened to you?' 'Seriously - that's your first question?'
He couldn't miss the fierce glare that went over his shoulder as she failed to take a deep breath, or the way her face moulded into stone, fire and rage burning in her amber eyes.
He'd moved towards her before he noticed what he was doing, drawn into her effort to control the inferno fuelling her.
Her eyes were closed to him now, leaving him cold and trembling, he couldn't stop himself from stretching out a shaking hand to feel her - real beneath his touch.
The world fell away as he cupped her jaw, smearing the dirt on her cheek as his thumb stroked her skin. She was warm, too warm beneath his fingers, and oh so alive. The soft sigh that could undo him escaped her as she leant into his touch, her face fitting his hand perfectly. She was so close, his heart beating in time with her uneven breathing, the smell of fireworks rekindling a memory from his training, his eyes riveted to the graze above her eye, now able to see the slight burn at its edges up close and he froze as he realised 'You were shot…'. He felt more than saw the nod of her head as she heard his mental exclamation.
He trembled as her hand gripped his top, unsure who she was trying to keep grounded. 'You found something.' He let his fear for her unravel around him, knowing the strength of it would help her hear him; her grip at his chest tightened in response. He gulped down the rise of nausea as she opened her eyes, looking at his chest, raising her gaze upwards until she found her claim on him, the slight blush behind the dirt out of place in the moment.
She swallowed back a hiss as she moved her weight from one foot to the other and his fear heightened. She was trying and failing not to fidget, refusing to raise her head to meet his stare head on, her breathing becoming more irregular as pain started to set in, her hand stroking his chest as she focused on soothing him. 'I'm not going to like this…am I?' His thumb stopped the tear as it fell, her deep gaze finally reaching his as she shook her head.
His fingers brushed away the surface dirt on her cheek as he moved to grip her chin, 'amend 4: bruise AND dirt on her chin'. Her nose crinkled as she forced back tears, the hand on his chest tightening as she bit back her pain, eyes squeezed shut. When she opened them, he recognised the look he found; the steely determination that had fallen over her when she'd heard Gabe's voice, when they'd discovered Rhea.
'You've been shot – someone shot you…someone's tried to kill you! Who would want – shit Alex, what did you find?!'
His legs wobbled beneath him as everything other than Alex lost focus and blurred around him. He stepped back needing space to breath, his head spun, cold sweeping through his veins chilling him to the bone before being replaced with the familiar burning heat of rage. He took her hand from his chest and held it tight as she slowly released her hold on his top, 'I'm not pushing you away Alex, I swear, just – you could be – '
A squeeze of his hand told him she'd heard, she understood.
'I found out something you need to hear. I'm sorry.'
'What?'
The world around them returned in multicolour and deafening silence as they spoke for Steph's benefit.
'Alex, you're hurt!'
Steph looked to him in confused horror as Alex waved off her concern and watched him step aside to let her struggle past them, her knuckles white as she gripped her jumper keeping herself together. He didn't need Alex's power to hear the questions being shouted at him as Steph could only watch as their friend hobbled further into the room, Diane's voice dripping with the same fake concern she'd forced down their throats earlier.
'Steph – don't – just call an ambulance, ok? Let her do this.'
Her fury radiated off her in waves, he could see her shoulders shaking with her effort to not go after Alex and frog march her back out of the building. The furious glare she sent Ryan softened slightly when it was meet with one of his own, his gut churning as he needed – and dreaded – hearing the secrets the slip of a girl he'd fallen head over heels for had been shot to keep hidden.
' – so has Jed Lucan.'
Steph's fingers paused mid motion as her eyes swooped from her phone back up to meet his, the pin drop silence painful as it squeezed at his chest, contracting his muscles, the sting at his knuckles a distant pain as the edges of his vision blurred, breathing rapid as time stopped, his stomach dropping.
'Jed Lucan isn't a hero – caused the accident – pictures of me and Gabe down there – one – miners was my father – bury the evidence – '
Alex looked so small in the awkward silence, her strong voice wavering as no one reached out to support her. 'Dad….he saved men…he saves people…your father? He was never in Haven, Gabe didn't find him….if he was already dead…pictures? Dad caused the accident? He doesn't take risks – he doesn't – he wouldn't – he knows – Alex – he knows how I feel – he wouldn't hurt you – Alex this is about Typhon, what has my dad got to with this?'
' - he tried to kill me, too – '
He was aware Diane was once again speaking, his teeth clenching as she insinuated Alex was talking shit while she stood in front her covered in her own blood. He darted his eyes from Alex to his dad; Alex looked pained, her ribs clearly causing her the most distress but the fight in her shone through as she shot back at Diane, pulling Pike into the fray. His dad hardly looked bothered, and Ryan frowned. 'She's just told everyone that you tried to kill her, and you have nothing?! Where's your outrage dad, your hurt…. you're the one who - '
'Ryan, why is there a handgun behind the bar?'
'Kid threatened mum once when dad wasn't around. He sort of freaked out when she told him. It's been there years. Don't worry, he's a crap shot.'
' - Don't worry, he's a crap shot.'
' - He's a crap shot.'
' - A crap shot.'
Voices washed over him as he leant on the bar, his head between his arms. He could feel the blood drain from him as his own voice echoed in the silence, a low moan foreign to his ears.
His dad was a complex man, the long stories he was prone to giving; the lectures hiding a valuable life lesson were not the man Ryan had grown up. A rough hand to the shoulder; solid slap on the back or a mess up of his hair much to his teenage annoyance, his silence but solid presence where far more Jed's style.
That his father hadn't kept his stoic silence in the aftermath of Gabe's death had made Ryan's guilt that more acute. 'It was a tragic accident; no one's blaming you son, not even Alex; you can't save everyone' 'You hadn't meant mum…' Rationally he'd known his father was right, but it was far from the comfort he'd needed as he'd dropped all the pretence and the calm exterior he'd held until he'd passed a shaking Ethan into his mother's arms, until he'd left a shell shocked Alex to an empty apartment that didn't belong to her. His father's attempt at reassurance had backfired as Ryan had boiled over, his trembling rant leaving him spent as he sobbed in his childhood bed, that rough hand solid on his shoulder.
None of that leant to a man capable of aiming a gun to the head of the girl he knew his only son was falling in love with; to the head of the girl all had seen publicly show those feelings were reciprocated; to the head of the girl Jed had given the only approval he knew mattered 'your mother would have liked her'.
Snippets of Alex's voice reached him. He could feel Steph's eyes on the back of his neck as he looked over the bar. He found the first aid kit beneath the counter rather than on its normal shelf at the other end of the bar and there, the blue crates at the side, a disguise, quick to move and reach behind if needed, was the hook, handgun attached.
It was clean – spotless – and facing the wrong way, 'Now son, the barrel must always be kept facing the counter you hear, can't be reaching for a firearm if the triggers at the other end now.'
He dropped his head, once again fighting down his nausea as the faint smell of sulphur hit him, his limbs heavy as his vision swam in front of him. 'No, no no no no, please no, not dad no, not you, what was so bad she had to die? Why did Alex have to die?'
'Which is why you and Jed threatened me into silence'
The accusation silenced the room and all eyes burned into him as Ryan stepped forwards, hardly aware that he was moving. He could feel the weight of Pike's stare, the guilt that he'd been part of this, part of the Typhon terror machine that stalked and threatened any who got too close; that he was partly to blame for the state Alex was in now barely standing before them. Pike hadn't wanted her to get hurt too he'd told them. His wish went ungranted.
It crossed his mind as everyone waited for him to speak, that they all knew that he had feelings for Alex; looking back he hadn't been subtle and they all knew those feelings were reciprocated, his status in the Haven eligible status had risen with the yellow rose given hours earlier. What else could they be thinking aside from the even greater unravelling that their great hero was accused of not just seven murders but had gone on to apparently kill the love interest of his only son to hide said previous murders. Why weren't they angrier, Typhon had killed seven men before Gabe, was it not crossing their minds that there could be more? What evidence did they need to see the devil behind the dirt? Did any of them understand how truly fucked up this conversation was?
'Dad – do you have any idea what Alex is talking about?'
He hated how unsure he sounded, 'Don't think I don't believe you've been shot at Alex, I can see and smell that fact, please don't let this be my dad. Please tell me you didn't do this dad, please just look at me and tell me you were telling the truth when you said you hadn't seen her.'
'No, I don't.'
Ryan knew that edge to his voice and his stomach plummet. He hadn't heard it since his mum died and Ryan had pushed Jed too far, his teenage anger not ready for loss, especially hers and his father just as unprepared for his own grief and to solo parent a grief-stricken child. Jed Lucan was reaching the end of his tether 'but if she is lying dad, prove it and help find who did try and kill her, and Gabe dad, don't forget about him.'
'I tried to be there for Alex since Gabe died. I thought – I don't know, I hoped I could be something of a father figure for her – '
Ryan spared a glance to Alex to see her face twisted in disgust as Jed kept talking. Jed had been there for her, given her a roof over her head, rent free; had given her a job, stability in the storm of Gabe's death, but Jed's mention of 'father figure' curdled his stomach.
'Because one of those minors was my father.'
Jed couldn't meet his sons gaze as he looked in Ryan's direction, his condescending tone as he continued his speel to Alex setting his teeth on edge.
' – your lying!'
Steph's hand on his back anchored him as he stumbled, the strength of Alex's yell bringing out a bubble of pride in his chest. She may be battered, bruised, and blooded and faced with silence and uncertainly from the crowed before her but she didn't give up; her bravery and belief could have sent him to his knees, if her plea to the group didn't break him first.
'- but I'm telling the truth.'
His head spun as he gasped for breath, his grip on the side of the bar tightening, the tightness in his chest turning to pain as his world fell apart around him.
Voices echoed around him as his mind whirled, tumbling through the list he'd made earlier, '2:30, Pike let her go, 3am no car at the Lantern, I texted her about 3am but if she was already out by the mine then signal is crap out there – but could be coincidence. We were in here by 4:30, no one was here… Steph sat us in that booth, she got the whiskey…. the glasses…she can't reach over the bar….she didn't go round either I remember that….it was all here – on the bar….dad's note…'
'I believe you. Of course, I do.'
'Screw your settlement! – '
'- she's become one of us – we ought to take her seriously.'
'I've always found Alex to be a very trustworthy person.'
'I've a USB full of recordings – '
' – none of us have time for conspiracies.'
'I'm not scared of you anymore – '
His heart hammered in his chest, it's pounding rooting him to the spot as he flicked his head side to side away from each intrusion of sound, their voices too loud in the box his world had shrunk to, the smell of fireworks setting off a headache, pressure building behind his eyes.
'She'd promised, she wouldn't lie, she promised to see me soon, it wasn't a one-time thing, I make her laugh, she feels safe…I make her feel safe…too loud…out – need to…she's hurt…. couldn't protect her…failed…. worthless…. not a hero like –'
Suddenly she was there, in front of him, her laboured breathing sending his guilt into overdrive, the blood on her skin dark against her too pale skin 'She needs a doctor and soon'.
'You believe me …right?'
The pain in his chest worsened as she raised her question to him, her voice losing its strength in its uncertainty. She stopped out of easy reach; the fear palpable in her eyes as she waited for his response. What was is Steph had said – 'it's pretty clear she hasn't had people really look out for her like that before' yet here she was, standing in front of the guy she'd trusted enough to not only tell about her powers – 'She didn't even tell Gabe' - but had felt safe enough with to let him peek behind her walls; to even sleep with. The plead in her eyes to not turn his back on her, to not abandon her like her father and Gabe and the rest of the world, broke something inside him.
'Ryan?'
Her voice crumbled on his name, his silence creating hesitancy in the trust he'd built. She looked so small in front of him, her amber eyes shining with such fear he wants to run up the stairs to get Shu-Shu, anything familiar to give her comfort. He can feel his dad's fury from the other side of the room as the arguments get louder around them, but he keeps his focus on Alex.
He realised this is the first time she's said his name since she hobbled through the door, and he's hit by the countless memories of the different ways she's said it since she arrived; the awkward 'Hi Ryan' greeting in the record shop, the teasing tone in her voice while they searched the mine, the scream of his name as he'd shoved her against the rocks hiding her from the avalanche, the way she sighed it as she fell asleep, her shy voice before thrusting the rose at him, the shriek of it as he'd found the ultimate place to tickle her; voice full of silk when she sung his name drunk on spirits; how she moaned it in his ear; all the ways he would give for her to say his name again other than this one. This version broke his heart.
'I'm so sorry.'
Chest pain easing, he took in her features as she blinked and gave a brief worried glance to Steph, unable to keep from looking at him too long in case she missed what she was meant to see. The blood on her face had all dried, but fresh blood was still seeping into the neckline of her jumper beneath her own Ryan bruise special. She'd done enough, now it was his turn to be brave.
He turned and faced the room as it fell silent, his dad glaring from the other end. For this to be over, she – they – he needed the truth. Ryan felt like a kid again walking up to his dads closed office door to ask why Jed had snapped at dinner as he'd bragged to his parents about how all the other kids wished their dads were as amazing as his. He'd learnt quickly to not mention the accident, that Jed would fall silent when it came up in conversation, he'd smile and quickly steer them onto a new topic.
'Dad, please. Come clean. We'll figure it out together'
'Please dad, Alex will forgive you, she knows you're not a bad man. We just need the truth about Gabe, that's all and we can forget all this. We'll work it out, we've worked out everything else since mum died. C'mon, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye but dad – please…'
'It amazes me, the extent to which she's manipulated you.'
'This isn't about Alex, dad, it never was. Come on, you think I would never work out you bought this place 3 months after the accident? Even I knew we didn't have that kind of money.'
'Come on, dad.'
He didn't recognise his own voice as he pleaded with his dad, the one constant, his pillar of strength in every storm. He'd grown up in the shadow of the accident, for better or for worse, he'd grown up wanting to be like Jed, someone the town he called home could depend on, rely on. He'd grown up wanting to protect people, to not fail in the face of danger.
'If you failed them, that means I really did fail Gabe…failed Alex..twice…dad…'
'Never in a million years.'
Ryan had spent his teenage years allowed to the awkward, dorky kid who never got teased. He'd got his first kiss not because of his tumbled over his word's nervous self, but because she'd become miss popular for the week for getting it. He'd moulded his whole identity on the perfect aspects of his parents' personalities; his mother's pure hearted kindness & love of nature with a kick of her wicked sense of humour added to the selfless looking out for others of his dad with more than just a dash of the 'mad hero type' – a common tease from Steph.
'Come on, I hate seeing you do this.'
His voice finally broke as memories crashed over him; he'd been so proud to be Jed Lucan's son. He'd idolised him before the accident, Jed had loved calling him 'miner in training' when showing him off to his men. It had been infectious, the respect and awe the miners had for his dad, and then the whole town had it.
The strain on their relationship had already started before, Ryan was a teenager, who didn't feel smothered by their parents at 14? The strange phone calls and late nights hiding in his office continued the communication break down and it didn't take long for both Ryan and his mum to be used to the office door being locked when he left the house. He couldn't remember how his mum had explained it away, maybe she hadn't said anything, had she ever suspected…
'My own son.'
'Dad – '
'Fix this dad, you can fix anything – please! Make this stop dad, please, come back…'
'My own goddamn son!'
'Dad…please…'
A glimmer of gold shimmered in the corner of his eye, bright against the blood and grime. He couldn't look at Alex, couldn't bear to see the disgust she'd thrown at Jed be aimed at him this time. He had broken every promise he'd made to her and to Gabe, it didn't matter that he had no way of knowing his hero was based on a lie; it didn't matter that the one person beside himself he would have trusted with her life had betrayed him by being the one person who had tried to take it; it didn't matter that he had made her feel safe for probably the first time in a very long time – how could she know what safety felt like? It was certainly not with him, Ryan killed her brother, Jed killed her father and tried to kill her – Lucan's were lethal to Chens, that couldn't be any clearer. Not only had he killed Gabe, but he'd also then stolen his life with his sister; what made her smile, what jokes made her roll her eyes or double over; teaching her the outdoors life; mountain biking, hiking, hell he'd even planned to get her out on the lake. Steph couldn't have come up with the type of monster he hadn't known he was. It didn't matter that the first thing Alex had done was to hobble to him, comfort him, apologise to him for being late. It didn't matter that she'd pulled him back from the brink at the ravine, told him she owed him her life, he'd failed. He'd failed all of them and he'd let her thank him, he'd left her forgive him, like a coward he'd not owed up to that failure, like his dad…. he truly was his father's son.
'Stop.'
Alex's quiet demand cut through the room, stalling his whirlwind of thoughts, the quiet before the storm as he stood – lost - in the middle of the ruins of what his world had been.
'I know why you tried to kill me.' 'What would you have said to comfort me dad in the coming days, weeks? Forget her? She clearly didn't care enough to stay? You'd have left her to rot – alone. Would you have let me search for her, to grieve, or tell me to move on with the next new girl?' 'It's not what you tell yourself, that you thought it best for haven.' 'Did I even cross your mind at all when you raised that gun to her head?' 'This was never about haven at all, was it? This was about you.'
'I know it's easier, not having to think about the men you buried. You want to look away and pretend the people you hurt aren't people. But I won't let you. My father worked for you. His name was John.' 'John Chen? Did I ever meet a John Chen? Do I remember a man who looked like Gabe, or does Gabe take after their mum like me and maybe Alex resembles their dad? Was John just another face amongst the many miners I met? What could I even say if did remember him?' 'The world never gave a shit about him. He was always struggling just to get by. He still hoped one day things would be better. But you killed him.'
'And then Gabe, my big brother. He was building a family here. Doing it his own way, figuring it out as he went along. He was so nervous about it. And so excited. And he brought me here to be part of that family. But he died, because of you. And then there's me. For so many years, I just wanted to survive.' 'You never cease to amaze me Alex.' 'To get through. Haven changed me. I started to think about the future.' 'I didn't scare you off with that then? How can I give you that now?' 'I want to belong somewhere. I want to know that there's a place and a group of people who wouldn't be the same without me. I was starting to feel that here.' '…was? Past tense…'
'And you tried to murder me. You would have ended my life just so you wouldn't have to face the truth.' 'Please don't cry Alex, it breaks my heart to hear you cry.' 'You've forgotten it haven't you? You've plastered over it with another story. You tell yourself you're a hero. A strong leader. Sometimes that means making hard choices. Decisions that could lead to people dying - ' 'Like cutting a rope to save you…that's not a hero Alex.' '- few men could handle that. Havens lucky to have you. But that's the lie. If we scrape it away, what do we see?'
'11 years ago, you led a group of men to their deaths, and you were too selfish to say those words out loud. There was so much to lose. The love of your wife,' 'Why do I feel that she would have loved you anyway? Honesty was always the key to her love dad, you knew that' the respect of your son,' 'I don't understand any of this dad…' 'the comfort and ease you had walking around the world. All that mattered more to you than those men's lives.' 'You always pushed and pushed, good grades, never in trouble, the friends with a hint of rebellion never good enough, had to have the 'for the public good' job, you'd even got me to look at the military route, you never thought a Park Ranger was enough. Was all that just your guilt?'
'I can feel you trying to pull away. Don't.' 'You were willing to shoot her and expected to never see her again, you expected this to all go away with a single bullet, you were going to take her to your own grave. Don't you dare look away from her.' 'The truth hurts. Sometimes it's so awful you think you're going to break, but when you come out the other side and you're whole and free and still alive – then you'll finally know how strong you really are.' 'We already knew how strong you are Alex, maybe now you'll believe it too.'
'I see the truth about you.' 'You're not who I thought you were… who does that make me?' 'You hate yourself. You hate what you did in the past. You hate what you've done to keep it secret. And the more you deny the hatred, the worse it grows. I know who you are. I've seen the worst parts of you.'
'And I forgive you.'
