The drive to the hospital was a blur. It was almost a miracle that Buck made it there at all and didn't end up taking part of the journey in an ambulance. Is that how Eddie had gotten to the hospital? Surrounded by strangers as he was unconscious? Their station obviously hadn't been the one to take him in, since Buck would've heard about this sooner. So where had Eddie been and what the hell happened?
Buck parked in a way that would most likely get him towed or at the very least a ticket, but he didn't care at the moment. He needed to get inside and get eyes on Eddie. Eddie wasn't the one who got hurt. And if he did, he shrugged it off and kept on going. For him to have ended up in the hospital meant nothing good.
"I'm looking for Eddie Diaz!" Buck rushed out as soon as he got to the desk of the emergency room. Luckily there was no one else standing there, since he wasn't sure he wouldn't have just plowed through them. "My name is Evan Buckley and I was called here as Eddie Diaz's emergency contact."
"One moment," the nurse said, typing out something on her computer. "He's currently in room 204. I can have a-"
"I got it, thanks," Buck called over his shoulder as he darted away. He didn't need an escort. He'd spent enough time in hospitals to be able to find his way around them easily. And a detailed explanation could wait until after he saw Eddie himself. Even if a doctor told him Eddie would be completely fine, he wouldn't believe it until he could see and touch him.
When he finally got to the right room, Buck took a deep breath to calm himself. If Eddie was awake, he didn't need to see Buck burst into the room all frantic. He slowly pushed the door open, mentally preparing for what he was about to see. The nurse said they were holding him overnight for observation, so it couldn't be that bad.
Buck's heart fell into his stomach when he finally got eyes on Eddie. His eyes were closed as he laid propped up in the hospital bed. He looked mostly normal, besides the ugly bruise covering the whole left side of his face. But who knew what was covered by the blankets.
"Oh, Eddie," Buck whispered, walking over to stand by his bedside. Eddie was never supposed to look like this. So broken and small. All Buck wanted to do was touch him, but he didn't think he had the right to anymore. Would Eddie even want him here?
"Excuse me, visiting hours are over," a woman's voice said from behind him. Buck turned his head toward the door, finding a nurse standing there.
"Um, someone here called me. I'm Evan Buckley," Buck explained. "Could you- do you know what happened?" The nurse walked to the end of the bed, checking the chart for a moment before addressing him.
"Mr. Diaz was found by a passerby in a local warehouse district. He was unconscious, so they called 911 and he was brought here by ambulance," she stated, flipping through the notes. "He has a grade 3 concussion, but we'll have to wait and see how severe his symptoms are after we run a few more tests. Preliminary scans looked good."
"He hasn't woken up at all?" Buck choked out. The EMT side of the job wasn't what he dealt with most often, but he knew being unconscious for so long wasn't a good thing. What if Eddie didn't recover? What if he was never the same?
"He has, but he was still pretty disoriented. Rest is what's best for him at the moment," she assured him. "He also has significant bruising along his midsection, but no organ damage or breaks. There is a slight fracture in his left zygomatic bone, but it should heal properly without the need for surgery."
"Jesus," Buck muttered. It wasn't as bad as it could've been, but Eddie was going to be in pain for a while.
"Do you have any idea what might've happened? What he was doing tonight?" the nurse asked. Buck felt shame wash over him. He might've had an answer for her if he'd answered his damn phone.
"No, I don't," Buck admitted regretfully.
"Well, I'll make an exception and let you stay here with him, as long as you don't disrupt the other patients. It might help for him to wake up to a friendly face," she said with a kind smile. If only she knew how much she was digging a knife into him. "Someone will be around to check on him in a bit, but you can press the call button if you need anything."
"Thank you," Buck mumbled as she walked back out of the room. He stayed standing next to the bed, feeling too keyed up to sit down. Should he call around to check up on where Christopher was and let them know what happened? Did he even have the right to anymore?
"Oh Eddie, what do I do here?" Buck whispered, running a hand through his hair. All he wanted to do was make things right, but he had no idea where to start.
Something wasn't right. This didn't feel like his bed, but it did feel familiar. Like an old memory that he didn't want to relive. And the alarm in the room was all wrong. Call him old fashioned, but he much preferred an old school alarm clock over a cell phone. This was too quiet and steady. Way too easy to sleep through. Eddie moved his arm to swat at the source, but something pinched his skin as he moved.
"What the hell?" Eddie mumbled, finally peeling his eyes open now that his curiosity was stronger than his fatigue. He was definitely not home. "What the hell?"
"Hey Eddie."
Eddie jumped a little, turning his head to face the person who'd spoken. Buck was sitting by his bed, looking harried, but relieved. He was completely confused, searching in his brain for what could possibly be going on.
"What-" Eddie mumbled, closing his eyes as a sharp pain reverberated through his skull. The jolt of hurt in his head seemed to snap some of his disjointed memories back into place. He recalled bright lights and people hovering over him, asking questions he couldn't understand. And those idiots in the parking lot who caused this whole mess. But what came to him the clearest was the memory of his call being rejected. "What are you doing here?"
"Man, I could ask you the same thing. What the hell happened?" Buck asked, leaning forward in his seat. Eddie was having a hard time seeing his concern as anything but disingenuous. Before he would've sworn that Evan Buckley wore his heart on his sleeve and was candid about his true feelings. Eddie had seen him from day one. But now he wasn't sure if he knew him at all.
"Nothing. I'm fine," Eddie grunted, trying to shift into a more comfortable position. As soon as he bent a little, his whole body locked up in agony. Eddie hissed as he rode it out, clutching the blankets in a death grip.
"Do you need help? Want me to call a nurse?" Buck offered, bouncing up from his seat and reaching toward him. Eddie jerked away, gritting his teeth from the new pain that caused.
"I'm fine!" Eddie snapped, glancing away from the look of hurt that flashed across Buck's face.
"I'm sorry," Buck whispered, awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets. Eddie finished settling himself on the bed again, taking a few extra seconds to steel himself for the conversation that was surely coming.
"What are you doing here?" Eddie asked again, flicking his eyes up at Buck.
"One of the nurses called me. I'm still your emergency contact," Buck mumbled, the "still" emphasized a little. Maybe he should change it.
"You'll answer their calls," Eddie muttered, letting out a bitter little laugh.
"That's not fair! I- I tried to call you back right after, but you didn't pick up."
"Right. You probably had to check with your lawyer first," Eddie sneered.
"It's not like that!" Buck said defensively.
"Well, don't worry. I won't put you out anymore. I never should've called you in the first place."
"Eddie, I made a mistake, but-"
"We both did," Eddie interrupted, looking up at him seriously. "But now we know where we stand."
"And where's that?" Buck whispered, staring at him with a downtrodden expression.
"You should go."
"Eddie, come on."
"You should go," Eddie repeated firmly, looking pointedly at the door to his room. Buck huffed out a shaky breath, hanging his head in disappointment. Eddie was just giving Buck what he wanted all along, right? To distance himself from the 118? Well, Eddie was included in that too.
Buck walked to the door, hesitating with his fingers curled around the handle. He kept his back to Eddie, but turned his head so he was looking at him over his shoulder.
"I was at your house when I got the call from the hospital," Buck said quietly, gnawing on his bottom lip. "I knew I'd made a mistake by not answering your call, so I wanted to make it right. I was out there for hours, but it didn't matter how long it took. I wasn't going to give up." Eddie stared down at his lap, stopping himself from calling Buck back. He couldn't let what he was hearing get to him. He couldn't let it change anything.
Buck left without another word and Eddie felt the loss, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he was fine. You didn't get that angry with someone if you didn't care about them. And he was going to keep pretending that it was only anger he felt, not utter devastation. Not a total betrayal that he couldn't look closer at without completely breaking apart. Eddie didn't break. So why did it feel like his heart had just shattered into a million pieces?
