Notes: This was my entry for Day 7 of Aruani Week 2022 (yes I'm posting it late!)

This light-hearted, Modern AU is loosely inspired by an event when I was house-sharing (although I wish my own experience was as hilarious as this…)

Aside from Armin/Annie, the characters are paired off into: Eren/Mikasa, Sasha/Connie, and Jean/Marco, but I joke about the characters in different pairing combinations. There's a lot of confusing sexual tension in this group of housemates XD

Hope you enjoy!


It's Always the Quiet Ones...

It was a month since Annie and Armin moved into a house with their friends.

And tonight was the first time they had the place to themselves.

"I hope they're not annoyed we didn't go to the party with them," Annie sighed, fiddling with the string on her hoody. "They're probably blaming me for stopping you from going."

Armin snuggled in closer to his girlfriend. They were sprawled on the couch under a blanket; drinking wine, munching on snacks, and watching some weird TV show about giant zombies that Eren and Jean were always raving about.

"Honey, don't worry, they all love you!"

"Armin Arlert. Don't you dare lie to me." Annie snorted in a most unlady-like fashion, and they both dissolved into uncontrollable laughter.

"Seriously, if they didn't like you, they wouldn't have asked us to rent a house with them," Armin assured her.

Annie wasn't quite so sure. She took a bite of chocolate to console herself. This bar was her favourite vegan brand, and quite expensive. She kept a stash of it hidden in her bedroom so Sasha wouldn't accidentally eat it. The girl was a total menace for stealing other people's food.

It was an overwhelming relief to be alone in the house, away from their annoying friends. Although Annie had to admit, Mikasa and Marco weren't so bad – at least you could have a mature conversation with them.

The rest of their housemates were an entirely different matter. Sasha liked to share inappropriate details about her sex life, Connie had an infuriating habit of making a joke out of everything, and for some inexplicable reason, Jean sometimes called her Elsa. Whatever the hell that was about.

And they were all so infernally loud – with Eren Jeager being the worst culprit. His obnoxious laugh set Annie's teeth on edge, and gave her the urge to kick him senseless. Didn't he understand the meaning of the phrase, 'indoor voice'?

Her bedroom with Armin was located right above the sitting room, which was an absolute nightmare for trying to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. The incessant racket from downstairs was such a nuisance, she now used earplugs to help her sleep.

Annie was fed up with her rowdy housemates. A cosy date night with Armin was exactly what she needed to unwind.

Neither of them was used to drinking much, especially not a whole bottle of wine between them. Annie hadn't felt in this good of a mood for weeks - the alcohol loosened the tension in her muscles, and all her stress evaporated.

When Armin leaned in and nibbled on the tender spot on the back of her neck, she melted into him. Emboldened by the wine, she whispered a suggestion in his ear.

"Now we've finally got the place to ourselves, why don't we make the most of it?"

A mischievous grin spread over her boyfriend's handsome face. It sent a spike of burning hot desire through her. "I'm going to make you scream so loud Annie..."

The effect of this sexy promise was somewhat ruined, when he tried to swoop her up in his arms, but failed miserably and dropped her back on the couch.

Laughing, Annie leapt up and grabbed his hand, and they stumbled up the stairs together.

They had plenty of time before their housemates got home.

For once they wouldn't have to keep quiet…


The gang of friends staggered out of the taxi, and towards the house they were all renting together.

"My head's killing me," Connie whined. "When I was 18 I could stay up all night. Now I'm exhausted, and it's only midnight!"

"Face it Connie. We're 23 years old. We're ancient," Sasha said sadly, offering her boyfriend her open packet of crisps.

"I'll make everyone a nice cup of chamomile tea when we get inside," Mikasa said, her firm tone indicating this generous offer was non-negotiable.

Eren pulled a face behind his girlfriend's back – herbal tea made him want to vomit.

"Remember, we need to be quiet! Armin and Annie are probably asleep," Marco whispered as they reached the front door. He put his hands on his hips and stared sternly at his friends. Except Mikasa – he considered her to be the only other sane, responsible person present.

"Yes Dad," Jean muttered.

"Oh my god Jean, I knew you had a daddy kink!" Eren burst into loud laughter.

"Shut the hell up! I bet you have a mommy kink - poor Mikasa's always looking after you," Jean sneered.

Marco and Mikasa closed their eyes in exasperated unison. Honestly, their respective partners were both idiots when they got into one of these stupid arguments.

"Guys!" Sasha said through her mouthful of crisps. "Let's just accept everybody's weird kinks, and get inside out of the cold."

Marco reminded them all to be quiet, before carefully opening the front door. They crept into the sitting room. Connie picked up the TV remote, but Mikasa shot him a death glare and shook her head ominously. He gulped and put the remote back down.

When everyone was seated, Mikasa left Marco in charge of them while she brewed a pot of chamomile tea. She grabbed some painkillers from the medicine cabinet too.

Like a ninja, she glided back and forth between the kitchen and sitting room with the pot of tea and cups. She handed Connie the painkillers for his headache.

"Thanks Mom!" he whispered, while Sasha giggled. Mikasa didn't hide her smile.

They all enjoyed their tea for a few minutes (or in Eren's case, pretended to enjoy his tea). Sasha was about to open another packet of crisps, but was stopped with a glare from Mikasa. She discovered an open packet of M&M's in her pocket, and nibbled on those instead.

"Looks like Armin and Annie had a nice time without us." Eren indicated the empty wine bottle and two glasses on the coffee table. "Are you going to give out to them for leaving a mess, Mikasa?" he added hopefully.

His girlfriend was very fastidious about household chores. Only a week after they'd all moved into the house together, she'd called a group meeting and insisted that they make up a list of rules to keep the place clean. That included everyone tidying up after themselves.

"No, they're usually pretty good for cleaning up. Unlike some people," Mikasa added under her breath, glancing at Sasha and Connie.

Oblivious, Sasha was tossing M&M's in the air, while Connie tried to catch them in his mouth. Eren and Jean smothered their laughter when a sweet hit Connie on the forehead and he almost fell backwards in shock.

"Guys, keep it down," Marco frowned at their antics. "Remember Armin and Annie are upstairs!"

"We're being quiet!" Jean protested. "And besides, they lied to us. They blew us off for a fun night out, saying they wanted an early night. But it looks like they had a perfectly nice time without us."

"Can you blame them? They probably wanted some peace and quiet for a change."

"What the hell does that mean, Marco Bott?" Connie exclaimed. "You don't think we're civilised company?"

Just then, Connie noticed one of the wineglasses on the table was still half full. He glanced furtively around, then snatched it up and took a sip.

"Connie!" Mikasa hissed. "You said you had too much to drink!"

"Babe, I'm not holding your hair back if you throw up tonight," Sasha warned her boyfriend. She began rooting around the couch, in the hopes of finding some forgotten sweets. She eventually struck gold when she checked the bottom shelf of the coffee table.

"Sasha, no! Those are Annie's super expensive vegan sweets," Marco groaned. "She'll probably kick a hole in your stomach if you take them!"

Sasha fixed him with a deadly stare.

"Marco, I'm fucking starving. And apparently I'm not allowed to go make food 'cos I'll make too much noise." She narrowed her eyes at Mikasa. "So like a poor deprived street urchin, I have to make do with what I can scavenge."

Mikasa rolled her eyes, before offering to make her 'poor deprived' friend a sandwich. She slipped silently back into the kitchen.

Eren watched her go admiringly. His girlfriend must have been a ninja or assassin in her past life, to move so silently.

Her stomach grumbling, Sasha stared at Annie's sweets sitting on the table. Honestly, she was so hungry that even this weird chocolate bar looked tempting. What did vegan chocolate even taste like? It had to be better than nothing, right?

Using his best quiet indoor voice, Eren suggested the idea of organising a trip to the beach for Armin's upcoming birthday.

"He'll probably decide to just stay home with Little Miss Ice Queen," Jean muttered.

"Jean!" Marco elbowed his boyfriend sharply. "What's your problem with Annie? I know she's not always the most sociable person, but she's really made an effort to get on with us since she started dating Armin."

Jean crossed his arms defensively. He accepted the fact that Armin was in love with the woman. Why, he had no idea. But he'd supported his friend's relationship since he got together with Annie a year ago.

When Eren and Mikasa first suggested the idea of the four couples renting a house together, he hadn't once mentioned his misgivings about having to stare at Annie's grumpy face every day. He'd been perfectly polite to her since they all moved in together a month ago.

…Even though he was itching to throw a bucket of hot water over her, to see if it would thaw out her frosty, emotionless attitude.

It was all Reiner and Bertolt's fault. They were another gay couple who Jean and Marco hung out with all the time. They'd been the ones to introduce Annie to them at a party, and thus she'd met the rest of their friend group.

But the sullen, silent girl had turned into an entirely different person when she got talking to Armin.

Which frankly, was bizarre. She was a fitness instructor at the gym, while Armin worked at the local library. But they'd talked for hours about their shared dreams of travelling the world, and of adopting as many cats as possible.

It was Annie herself who had taken the plunge, and asked Armin out on their first date. And since then, Jean had been forced to allow Queen Elsa (his private nickname for Annie) to be integrated into their friend group.

"I think Jean's jealous. We all know he has a thing for adorable little Armin," Connie sniggered.

"Grow up, Connie." Jean gritted his teeth. "So what if I used to have a crush on him? I'm over it."

"Armin is pretty attractive, in a hot librarian kind of way." Marco blushed as everyone stared at him in shock. He must have had too much to drink if he was blabbing secrets like this.

"Guys, please stop talking about my best friend that way." Eren shuddered just thinking about horse-face Jean dating Armin, or the fact that apparently Marco had the hots for him too. Some very uncomfortable images were popping into his head.

Sasha remained silent. She was agonising over the dilemma of whether to scoff Annie's forbidden chocolate, or hold out a little longer for Mikasa's promised sandwich. Her stomach was already growling loud enough that it might wake the sleeping Armin and Annie upstairs.

Just then, Mikasa re-entered the sitting room, carrying Sasha's precious sandwich on a plate. But she froze in her tracks at a noise from upstairs.

"Shut up everyone, I heard something!" she hissed.

Everyone did as they were told – including Sasha's grumbling stomach – because nobody disobeyed a direct order from Mikasa Ackerman.

Low murmuring was definitely coming from Armin and Annie's bedroom above. Clearly, the couple were not asleep.

"Damn, we must have woken them-" Marco began, then paused.

The voices upstairs had taken on a decidedly excited tone. That, coupled with the unmistakable creak of the bedframe, and the squeak of bedsprings, hinted at the real reason Armin and Annie were still awake.

Everyone stared at each other in growing understanding and horror. Sasha dropped the chocolate bar, Marco went bright red and gazed at the floor, and Eren looked as though he'd rather be eaten alive by giant zombies than in this room right now.

But worse was still to come.

"Oh Armin!" Annie's loud exclamation pierced the silence. "Yes, right there…"

Several long, excruciating seconds passed. Then Sasha bravely tried to break the tension with a joke. "Fuck, I'll have what she's having," she giggled.

Then remembering her sandwich, she motioned impatiently at Mikasa to pass it to her.

"Well, at least we succeeded in being quiet. They have no idea we're even home." Connie's face twisted into a knowing smirk. "This explains why they were so eager to stay at home without us!"

"What the hell do we do?" Eren asked, pulse racing with panic. "If we go upstairs to bed now, they'll probably know we heard them!"

Blocking out her discomfort, Mikasa tried to figure out a plan. Armin had been their best friend since childhood, and they knew him better than anyone. If he found out they'd overheard him having sex with his girlfriend, he'd probably go drown himself in the sea.

Annie would be just as mortified – the girl was confident and tough-skinned, but hated talking about anything personal. She blushed anytime one of her friends spoke too freely about their sex lives, or sex in general.

Only last week, Sasha had told Annie and Mikasa about the life-changing new vibrator she'd bought. Annie had jumped to her feet and left the room, mumbling something about leaving the oven on in the kitchen.

Weighing all this up, Mikasa made a decision. "Listen, we can't let them know that we've heard them," she whispered. "We should noisily open the front door, and pretend we've just come home."

"Oh jeez, I feel awful for ruining their night alone…" Marco put his head in his hands. "I know this is a bit weird, but maybe we could just cover our ears for a few minutes? When they're finished, we can pretend to come home."

From upstairs, Annie let out a series of broken, orgasmic moans.

Eren shoved his fingers in his ears. "Damn it, Annie!" he growled. "Now I've got all sorts of images in my head."

Mikasa narrowed her eyes and growled, "You better burn those images out of your mind right now, Eren Yeager."

"I didn't know Annie was capable of making noises like that," Jean grimaced. "How the hell do I look her in the eye again?"

"Armin must be incredible in bed, if he can defrost an ice queen." Connie's face hurt from grinning. This whole situation, and everyone's uptight reactions, were hilarious. So what if Armin and Annie were having sex?

"Connie," Sasha said, breaking off a piece of her sandwich and handing it to him. "You better not be thinking about Armin next time we're together!"

They dissolved into silent, shaking giggles. But stopped quickly at the rhythmic thumping noises coming from upstairs.

Armin growled something which sounded like, "You feel so good…"

"Aruuumeeehhh!"Annie responded in a drawn out whine.

"Can we please, please, all start calling Armin 'Aruuumeeehhh' from now on?" Connie begged, shaking with laughter. He was so glad they'd come home early - this was the best entertainment he'd had for a long time.

"Why are they so loud?" Eren asked hysterically. Armin and Annie were usually two of the quietest, most composed members of their group of friends. They were always low-key about public displays of affection too. Probably more to do with Armin respecting Annie's reserved nature than anything else.

Who would have thought they'd be so goddamn exuberant in bed?!

Upstairs, Armin asked an incoherent question, his tone enthusiastic.

"Oh fuck yes! Don't stop!" Annie cried.

Mikasa kindly placed two cushions over Eren's ears, to block out Annie's siren wails.

"Maybe we'll all laugh about this someday," Marco chuckled weakly, trying to stay optimistic.

"Or maybe we'll think of this every single time we look at Annie's ice cold face," Jean shuddered.

"They have to be nearly done by now." Sasha finished off the last bite of her delicious sandwich. She wondered if she were dating Mikasa instead of Connie, would she make sandwiches like this for her every day?

"Sasha, are you drooling? What's with that silly smile on your face? Don't tell me you're enjoying this?!" Eren fought to keep his voice low despite his disgust.

"Huh? Oh no, I'm just thinking about Mikasa," Sasha said dreamily.

Mikasa strove to maintain her composure in the face of this bizarre statement. It was time to take charge of the situation.

"Everyone, stop talking! Cover your ears until they're done."

Nobody dared disobey her, so they dutifully put their hands over their ears. Mikasa continued holding the cushions over her boyfriend's ears, to ensure he didn't sneakily keep listening to Annie's wanton moaning.

Unfortunately, this meant Mikasa herself was forced to hear the sinful sounds coming from both Armin and Annie. It really would be hard to look her friends in the face after this – without getting shameful flashbacks to them having earth-shattering sex.

But Mikasa Ackerman clenched her jaw, and endured it. She'd faced worse than this in her life.

A minute later, Sasha risked uncovering her ears. The thumping noises from upstairs had gotten wilder, more erratic. They won't last much longer, she thought smugly.

She glanced around – all her friends had their eyes tightly closed. Including Connie, who was making comical faces like he was trying not to laugh. Then Sasha spotted the discarded chocolate bar on the couch beside her - Annie's special expensive chocolate.

When they first moved in together, Sasha had innocently borrowed some of the girl's oat milk from the fridge. Several times. When Annie discovered who was taking her milk, she'd fumed and stomped around the house for the rest of the evening.

Alright, maybe Sasha should have asked first. But it was hard to remember these things when she herself was so open about sharing food.

She bit her lip. Forbidden food was always the most tempting. And if Annie was forcing Sasha to listen to her indecent porn-like racket, then the least she could do was allow her friend a little taste of her chocolate bar.

"Sasha!" Mikasa snapped, still holding the cushions protectively over Eren's ears. "How the actual fuck are you eating through all this?!"

"Don't you dare food shame my girlfriend!" Connie hissed. He glanced hopefully at Sasha, who rewarded him with a large piece of chocolate. For weird vegan food, this stuff was actually delicious. No wonder Annie hoarded it all to herself and her precious Armin.

Speaking of the debauched devil herself, she was now roaring with shameless abandon.

"Harder Aruuumeeehhh," she demanded. "Yes, right there!" Then her words melted into an incoherent mess.

"Fuck, I can hear that woman even with my ears covered," Eren wailed. "I'm going to need therapy after this."

He didn't add that a part of him was actually quite impressed with Armin. Who would have thought his bookish, gentlemanly best friend would have such sexual prowess? Enough to satisfy the formidable Annie Leonhart, too.

Jean shook his head in disbelief. "Does she just save up all her emotion for when she's fucking him? I can't believe that's ice cold Annie up there. Maybe Armin's having an affair with that Hange girl he works with at the library. She looks like a screamer."

"Hange's non-binary, they're a they," Marco corrected.

"Are we seriously debating gender politics right now?!"

"It's better than discussing what's going on upstairs!"

"Guys, shut up for a second!" Sasha said.

In the ensuing silence, Armin's cries of, "Fuck, Annie!" drifted down from the bedroom above.

"Well, he's definitely with Annie." Sasha absently popped the last bit of chocolate into her mouth. Damn it, she hadn't meant to finish off the whole thing! Maybe she could just wrap up a normal chocolate bar in the vegan packaging and put it back on the table? What Annie didn't know wouldn't hurt her…

"I don't think I've ever heard Armin swearing," Connie sniggered. "He's such a bad boy in bed."

"I swear to god Connie, if you even think of calling me Armin next time we're together, I'm dumping you for Mikasa!" Sasha declared, elbowing him teasingly.

Mikasa, more confused than ever, remained silent.

Meanwhile Eren swivelled his gaze between the two women suspiciously. Maybe he needed to ask Armin for sex tips, to ensure Sasha wouldn't steal his girlfriend away from him.

Somehow the moaning, groaning and general wild exclamations were still going on upstairs.

"They've got to be nearly finished by now," Jean said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He thought he was over his crush on Armin. But after hearing him cry out so passionately… well, damn. He'd be haunted by illicit dreams of Armin having a threesome with him and Marco tonight.

No offense to Annie, of course. Maybe she could join Sasha and Mikasa in whatever the hell was going on between them?

Increasingly loud gasps and bed squeaks filtered down from above, as well as many heated cries of "Armeeeeen!" and "Annie!" And then finally, finally, the amorous couple released a final string of curses and moans before quietening down at last.

It was over.

Marco glanced solemnly around the sitting room. They were now all part of a secret so terrible, so mortifying, that he doubted any of them would ever speak of it again. Certainly never to Armin and Annie.

"Alright quick, let's go pretend we just came home. Before those horny devils start at it again." Sasha brushed off a few incriminating crumbs, and tip-toed into the hall. Connie followed her.

A few moments later, the rest of them heard the front door open, and then slam shut.

"It's so good to be home!" Sasha declared in a carrying voice.

"Yes, we are home, to our wonderful, peaceful house!" Connie agreed.

Mikasa slapped a hand to her head. Could those idiots be more obvious?! Well, she may as well play along to make sure her friends upstairs got the message.

"SHUT UP OR YOU'LL WAKE ARMIN AND ANNIE!" Mikasa screeched.

Eren catching onto the game, said loudly, "We're not that loud!"

"It's their own fault for not coming out with us!" Jean shouted.

Connie couldn't resist muttering, "I think they got enough 'coming' by staying at home." Mikasa jabbed him with her elbow.

"I swear to god, you're all a bunch of immature, disrespectful children!" Marco roared in his best Dad voice (which sent an excited shiver through Jean).

A few moments later, a door slammed upstairs. Heavy footsteps thudded down the stairs. Annie emerged in the sitting room doorway - wearing a blue dressing gown, with her face flushed, and hair an unholy mess.

They all held their breath; waiting to be ruthlessly, verbally abused by this small, angry woman.

"Guys, could you keep it down, please? Armin and I are trying to sleep."

Everyone stared back incredulously.

"Oh sure, we didn't realise we were so loud," Sasha said innocently. She caught Connie's eye, and they both smothered back laughter.

"Sorry Annie!" Marco said, shooting the others a furious look. "I told them all to shut up!"

"Thanks. We're both really tired." Annie's eyes fell to the discarded chocolate wrapper on the table. "Wait, did someone eat my chocolate?"

Eren, Mikasa, Marco and Jean all pointed towards Sasha. Fucking traitors, Sasha thought savagely.

"Yeah, um, I was just so hungry and… it was delicious!"

Annie stared at Sasha for a few agonising seconds. Then she smiled.

"Cool, I'll pick you up some more next time I'm out! Anyway, I'm going to bed. Night."

After she headed back upstairs and they heard the bedroom door close, everyone stared at each other.

"Damn. I've never seen her in such a good mood. Is Armin a colossal sex god, or what?!" Sasha sighed.

"Yeah." Jean shook his head in disbelief. "Apparently, the secret to defrosting Annie Leonhart is simply a good orgasm."

"We should leave them alone in the house more often," Mikasa said, unable to hide her smirk.

They all dissolved into embarrassed laughter.


Soon after Annie went back to bed, she heard the rest of her housemates retire to their bedrooms.

Now she lay in bed, snuggled up to Armin. Her post-orgasm haze left her feeling relaxed and content. She mulled over how much her life had changed since meeting the man currently in her arms.

A year ago when they first met, she would have laughed if someone told her she'd ever agree to living with Armin's noisy, eccentric friends.

And yet she'd done it.

(Yes, and then complained relentlessly about it afterwards.)

But what if she stopped focussing only on the bad, and started considering the positives? There were things she liked about her housemates. And it's not like she was perfect either.

Still, there was one thing Annie was particularly grateful for right now.

"Thank god the house is quiet again," she mumbled.

Armin chuckled, and the vibration rumbled against her head on his chest. "I can't believe how loud they were. They must have been really drunk!"

Annie was still mulling over their housemates weird behaviour. And suddenly, a suspicion snagged on her mind, disrupting her peaceful thoughts.

"I left that chocolate out on the table while they were gone. So how the hell did Sasha manage to eat it, when she had only just come home?" she wondered aloud.

After their housemates boisterously entered the front door, it had only taken Annie a minute to get downstairs to ask them to be quiet. Did Sasha really scoff the bar that fast? That was impressive, even for her.

"You know Sasha. She probably smelled the chocolate the moment she entered the house," Armin teased. "It was nice of you to say you'd get her some. You're so sweet."

Annie wasn't reassured. "What if… what if they hadn't just come back? What if they'd come home earlier, without us realising? And then…" Annie could barely voice her next horrifying thought. "Then they overheard us. And that's why they were so obnoxiously loud – they were purposely letting us know they were home!"

"Annie my dear, you know what my friends are like. There's no way the six of them snuck into the house together without us hearing them." Armin smiled, stroking her messy hair.

His logic soothed away her doubts. Their housemates truly were some of the loudest people in the world.

She relaxed against Armin, already fantasising about the next time they got a nice, quiet house to themselves...


Notes: I have no idea how 6 semi-drunk people snuck into the house without Armin and Annie hearing them (except for ninja Mikasa). But I had so much fun writing this whole scenario that I suspended my disbelief.

I originally intended to show more of Armin/Annie, but as I wrote it, I decided to focus more on the humour and awkwardness of the situation for the 6 housemates.

If anyone is interested, I might try writing another chapter or story; maybe exploring some spicier Aruani action (and more comedy of course!) 😄

I'd love to hear your feedback, it means more to me than vegan chocolate *hugs*

I'm on Twitter too at SweetScofield ❤️