Rodian Scum: *speaking Rodianese* (Empty your pockets, missy.)
Woman: (on the ground)
then they noticed a figure on a roof after a flash of light from a speeder flashed on it.
Rodian: (Ah, piss.)
The figure leapt off the roof and landed in front of them. He was wearing dark Mandalorian armor, and wore a tattered brown cape.
Rodian: (What're you supposed to be?) *throws a punch*
Jek: *blocks him and effortlessly beats the crap out of the Rodian* A warrior.
Rodian: (Owww...)
Quarren Mugger: *charges at Jek*
Jek: *knocks him out too*
All Muggers: *attack Jek*
Jek: *beats them all to a pulp*
Quarren: (groaning in pain)
Jek: *glares at them with a look that says "Get out of here or I'll kill you."*
Quarren Muggers: (run away, screaming like girls)
Jek: *returns the woman's belongings and disappears into the night*
Later, it cuts to Jek getting drunk at the Mos Eisley Cantina
Barkeep: Whoa there, Mando! That's enough booze for you!
Jek: Hold on, I'm about to make a cantina record. *releases a massive, loud burp that went on for 20 seconds*
Barkeep: Whoa!
Jek: *leaves a single credit on the bar*
Barkeep: Where's the rest?
Jek: Right here. *holds up two middle fingers and exits like a drunken buffoon*
Barkeep: Oh, God damnit!
Jek: *swipes a fruit from an imperial crate*
Stormtrooper: AFTER HIM! CHOP HIS HANDS OFF!
Jek: *runs and sings his song*
(To the tune of 'Davey's Song' from Eight Crazy Nights)
I'm the kinda guy
who can't stand these modern days
So I drink 'em all away
That's me.
I don't obey no Imperial tyranny,
I don't pay for ration latkes
But I'll give this Twi'lek babe's meilooruuns a squeeze
That's just who I am!
(Guitar solo)
Well I'll never pay a credit
But I'll always throw an egg
And Charlie horse a Stormtrooper's leg for laughs
While you're listenin' to Imperial tunes
I make the Empire look like buffoons
Make them whip out a great, big scary moon,
and blow them all away!
(Throws a Thermal Detonator at the troopers)
I hate folks who think Imperial armor is cute
To me they're just something to shoot.
I hate love,
I hate you,
I hate me.
Well I'm a speeder bike stealing
No care for Imperial feeling kinda guy!
These modern days suck
So grenades I chuck
And make sure every trooper dies!
Stormtrooper: GET HIM!
Jek:
Loyalty to the Emperor's all wrong,
this reign has gone on too long
I hate love,
I hate you,
I hate me.
Jek: *finishes singing and escapes on his varactyl*
(later)
Grand Inquisitor: You allowed a delinquent to escape you?
Stormtrooper: *gulp*
Grand Inquisitor: Answer me.
Stormtrooper: He's pissing everyone off, and it's working!
Grand Inquisitor: That's NOT the explanation I need. What is he doing?
Stormtrooper: He's stealing from our food supply, rigging our speeders and weapons, and vandalizing our bases!
Grand Inquisitor: Unacceptable!
Stormtrooper: Yipe!
Grand Inquisitor: You will find this Mandalorian and bring him to me by nightfall.
Stormtrooper: Yessir!
Grand Inquisitor: If you don't, you'll be relieved of duty. *aims his lightsaber at him*
Later
Jek: *arrives at his hut in the Jundland Wastes*
Fang: (rumbling happily)
Jek: Hey buddy. *scratches the side of Fang's neck*
Fang: (nuzzles him)
Jek: *gives him some raw Womp Rat meat*
Fang: (happily chows down)
Jek: *Removes his armor and sits down to eat some polystarch*
(later)
Jek: *hears a clatter outside*
Fang: (wakes up)
Jek: *pulls out his rifle* Who's there?
Tusken Child: (peeks over a corner)
Jek: What're you doing here?
Tusken Child: (cautiously walks up to Jek)
Jek: *speaks in Tusken Sign Language* (What're you doing here?)
Tusken Child: (in TSL) (Our people need help, Mr. Mandalorian. Imperials are terrorizing my people. My parents were one of their victims.)
Jek: *armors up and grabs his rifle*
(in a Tusken Village)
Stormtrooper: Wipe out every last one of them!
Jek: *kicks him*
Stormtrooper: He took the bait! Blast him!
Jek: *dodges and knocks them all out*
Stormtrooper: A Mandalorian!? KILL HIM!
Jek: *prepares to fire a flurry of whistling bird rockets*
Stormtrooper: (takes out his blaster)
Jek: *fires a flurry of Whistling Birds, taking out multiple troopers*
Tusken Child: (hugs Jek)
Tusken Chief: *thanks him*
Later
Jek: *sitting around a bonfire with them*
Tusken Raider: (roasting some Shaak meat over a fire)
Jek: (Why did they come after you?)
Tusken Chief: (They've been stealing our water, and they've killed a majority of our people.)
Jek: I can get you more water from a nearby moisture farm.
Tusken Chief: (Thank you)
Jek: *hops on Zira* HYAH!
Zira: *bellows and runs to the farm*
(at the farm)
Jek: Hello. I'm looking for Owen Lars.
Luke Skywalker: Uncle Owen! That Mandalorian is here!
Owen: Hello, Mr. Viszla.
Jek: I'm here to get some more water. *gives Owen some credits*
Owen: Thank you.
Luke: *fetches a few gallons of Water* Here you are, Mr. Viszla.
Jek: Thank you.
Luke: No problem!
Jek: *hops on Zira* Goodbye. And keep away from the Jundland Wastes. HYAH!
Zira: *bellows and runs to the Jundland Wastes*
(later)
Tusken Villagers: (see Jek with the gallons of water)
Jek: Water!
Tuskens: *run over and squabble over the water*
The Tuskens then started to punch and kick eachother to get water until...
Tusken Chieftain: *bellows meaning "ENOUGH!"*
Tuskens: (stop rough-housing)
Tusken Chieftan: (Good.)
Jek: Phew.
later
Jek: *drinking a bottle of beer* Here it comes. *releases a massive burp*
Tuskens: *cheer*
Tusken Chief: (Impressive)
Jek: *sees a TIE striker soaring above* They're here. Get to safety.
Tuskens: (run off, and hide in different locations)
Jek: *activates his rifle scope's infrared mode* Three Inquisitors, and 12 Purge Troopers.
The first Inquisitor was a male Nautolan, Kit Fisto's species. He had red colored skin, and wore attire similar to Trilla Suduri's as the Second Sister. He had a mask covering his face similar to Chopper's from the first Aliens VS PREDATOR movie.
The second Inquisitor was a Kaleesh male similar to Darth Xalek, but dressed in attire similar to the Grand Inquisitor.
The third Inquisitor was a male Dowutin with amber skin dressed like a male Masana Tide, AKA The Ninth Sister
Jek: *snipes 6 of the purge troopers*
Thirteenth Brother: SONOVA-! It's the Mandalorian! GET HIM!
Jek: *pulls out his Darksaber and leaps into action*
Fifteenth Brother: (takes out his lightsaber, and fights Jek)
Jek: *dodges every attack but manages to strike him repeatedly*
Fifteenth Brother: YOU'RE STARTING TO PISS ME OFF, YOU LITTLE MANDALORIAN TURD!
Jek: You called me a turd? That is the most immature thing I've ever heard come from an Inquisitor.
Fifteenth Brother: (swings his fist at Jek with the intent of punching his head off)
Jek: *blocks, and beats the piss out of him with a flurry of quick punches*
Fifteenth Brother: DAMN IT!
Jek: It's over.
Fifteenth Brother: What...are you?
Jek: Your worst nightmare, bub.
Thirteenth Brother: RETREAT!
Fifteenth Brother: We'll remember this! You have made a very powerful enemy of the Empire, you low-class Mandalorian wretch!
Jek: *shoots the ship with an anti-vehicle missile, causing their ship to crash*
Thirteenth Brother: ABANDON SHIP!
Jek: Good riddance. *returns to the camp*
(afterwards)
Jek: *helps the Tuskens put the camp back together and returns to his hut*
Tusken: (Thank you.)
When Jek returned home, he saw it getting incinerated by Flametroopers.
Jek: NO! *gets Fang out, and grabs a holocron his father gave him before his death*
Flametrooper: GET HIM!
Jek: *kills them all with his own flamethrower*
(afterwards)
Jek: *rides back to the camp where the Tusken Raiders allowed him to stay until he could rebuild*
Tusken Chief: (hugs Jek)
Jek: (Thank you)
Tusken Chief: (No problem.)
Jek: *enters his tent and goes to sleep*
Meanwhile
Grand Inquisitor: This is unacceptable. You have been trained to kill jedi!
Thirteenth Brother: The Mandalorian was much more of an adversary than any Jedi we've slain!
Then the doors of the base opened and a tall dark figure with ominous, mechanical breathing entered.
Fifteenth Brother: It's him.
Fourteenth Brother: L-L-Lord Vader! Sir.
Grand Inquisitor: Shh! *steps forward* Lord Vader.
Vader: I have been informed that you have been experiencing difficulties with a certain troublemaker here.
Grand Inquisitor: He is a Mandalorian, which should have been extinct a long time ago.
Vader: *interrupts him before he could finish* Mandalorians are not so easily beaten. But if this one is capable of defeating three Inquisitors...*grabs the Dowutin Inquisitor* You are clearly incompetent. *impales him*
Fifteenth Brother: *urk!* (impaled through the chest, and is instantly killed)
Vader: Unless you want to end up like him, I suggest you do not fail me again. Under ANY circumstances. *begins to exit*
Grand Inquisitor: So...I'm still in command? You'll tell the emperor of this delinquen...*gets forced choked by Vader*
Vader: Do not overstep your boundaries. And don't choke on your arrogance...Inquisitor. *releases him and exits*
Grand Inquisitor: *coughs and takes deep breaths*
To Be Continued
