Summary

It's not exactly a secret.

No really, it's like...the opposite of a secret. Someone may as well have, at one point in time, hired a sky writer, rented a billboard space on the freeway and took out an advert in every LA newspaper. That's how much of a not secret it is.

Jade West hates being touched.

A tale of Jade told in Seven Parts, exploring her touch avoidance and how each person found out about it.

Authors Note

So here it is! The end of this story; it's always bittersweet to me, because I like finishing things off but I then miss writing them. This one has been quite the tricky one for me, as it goes into very dark content but I hopefully managed to write it in a delicate and respectful way. I also really enjoyed writing an outsider point of view story on Jade, as it was a bit of a challenge.

I was also OVERWHELMED by the lovely comments last chapter! I'm pretty sure the Trina chapter was my most popular or at least most commented chapter of this story on AO3, which totally took me by surprise! But all the comments were so lovely that I honestly don't mind at all. I'm really happy I apparently made people like Trina, or view her a little differently, whilst still keeping her in character; it means a lot to be told that! And y'all are really eager for an Angry Beck story, aren't you? Well, don't worry! I've started it and you see a little teeny bit of the fall out in this chapter :)

So in this chapter, we also have the mystery reason Jade is fine with Tori touching her revealed - it's not because of Jori or anything like that (because I just...don't like Jori that much. To be honest, I don't really like Tori with any of the gang weirdly). So I hope you enjoy that!

As always, it's been a fun ride! Thanks for joining me on it!


Tori didn't actually know about the not-at-all-secret for the longest time. It never really occurred to her, mostly because for whatever weird and strange reason, it never actually applied to her. She didn't even notice that, other than her and Beck, no one ever really touched Jade.

She didn't notice the raised eyebrows that she was given when, on that horrible hot day at lunch, before the whole 'RV Sweatbox At A Beach' fiasco, she started putting her clammy hands all over Jade's soft and utterly dry skin – her arms, her upper chest, even her face. And Jade's only reply being 'You Having Fun There?'.

She didn't even figure it out when Robbie had, in a fit of idiocy, wrapped his arm around Jade's shoulders and squeezed lightly, when trying to cheer her up about whatever perceived slight she was angry about that day. She practically wretched herself away from Robbie and had snarled, with more anger than Tori had ever seen from her, "Don't touch me." before storming off, with Beck scrambling after her, not even giving the group an apologetic look like he normally did. Because she assumed it was Jade being...Jade, towards Robbie. She didn't really make it a secret that she wasn't his biggest fan. And if Robbie looked more upset with himself than Jade, she didn't notice that either.

Or when Cat had excitedly grabbed her arm when her, Tori and Jade were at the mall together, and Jade almost ripped her arm away from the excitable redhead and stormed off after snapping at her; Cat had looked upset and sad, but more at herself, like Robbie had, muttering 'I shouldn't have done that'.

It was only after the whole 'Prome' fiasco that she realised; not straight away, because, to be honest she was far too ashamed and embarrassed and upset after Beck railed through them come Monday, with an anger she had never seen from him, although she had very occasionally caught hints of it. No one had ever seen Beck so angry (well, Jade probably had, but she wasn't there at the time) and, to be completely honest, she knew if she was a guy? He'd have no doubt sucker punched her. She felt utterly miserable about it, because Beck was right; what if something had happened, and she'd been the one to set the whole thing up? She couldn't even apologise, due to the fact that for two weeks afterwards Beck was outright keeping Jade away from them all, the pair sitting alone at lunch and not even showing up at her house for Friday night cards.

But from then on, Tori watched carefully. And...yeah. No one ever really touched Jade, ever. Other than Beck, who seemed to have a carte blanche for physical contact with Jade, and almost always was touching some part of her; playing with her fingers in class, tracing shapes on her palm, winding her long hair around his fingers absent mindedly, his hand almost always resting on her hip or thigh or around her shoulders, fingers drumming out a steady rhythm on whatever inch of her he was touching. But it was almost like he was making up for all the other people who didn't touch her.

And Tori didn't understand it. Mostly because...well, she had always been able to touch Jade without her shouting angrily or flipping out and storming away. When Tori touched her, it was treated with the same amount of annoyance that Tori was treated to at all times from the dark haired girl. She didn't physically rip herself away from her, or shove her, or even give her a glare strong enough to melt steel. She just rolled her eyes and made snarky comments.

And one thing everyone knew about Tori Vega was that she didn't like to leave things alone. If she found a mystery or a secret or anything like that out, she would want to dig deeper and get to the bottom of it. So, knowing Jade wouldn't answer her anything more than a sarcastic dig and a scowl, Tori decided to go to, what she was pretty sure the whole school assumed, the resident Jade West Expert.

Beck Oliver.

She managed to get him alone at lunch one day, on a day their shared class (Geography) got out 15 minutes before everyone else's. It had taken a bit of time for Tori to be comfortable sitting alone with Beck again after the blow out, but they were back to where they used to be; Beck was just a little more protective and Jade was more guarded.

"Beck…..why does Jade flip out when someone touches her?" She asked, her curiosity evident as she picked at the toppings of her pizza.

"She just doesn't like to be touched, Tori." Beck replied with a shrug, putting his quesadilla down and Jade's salad – dressing on the side – next to it, pulling out his phone; no doubt to text Jade that he'd got her lunch already.

"Yeah but...why?" She couldn't just leave it alone now, not when she'd started. "Do you know why?"

"Of course." Beck shrugged again, not looking up from his phone but he seemed to know Tori had an eager smile crossing her lips. "But I'm not going to tell you."

"What?! But-"

"Tori." Beck put his phone down and looked at her directly in the eyes. "Why on Earth would I tell you about something that personal to Jade? Do you really think I'd betray her trust like that?"

Tori flushed in embarrassment because Beck was right; of course he wouldn't say anything. That was an insult to both Beck and Jade, even suggesting that. Jade was a ridiculously closed off person. If Beck told her secrets, she'd kill him. "OK, I get that but...why is she fine with me touching her?"

Beck paused at that as he lifted his soda to his lips. "That? I have no idea about. You'll have to ask Jade." He shrugged, taking a swig of soda before picking up his phone again as it beeped, a smile crossing his lips for a second as no doubt it was a reply from Jade to whatever he'd said before.

It swirled around in Tori's head for a while. It couldn't be just because she was a girl, because Cat wasn't really allowed to instigate touch with her either. If it was length of time knowing her, then that made no sense because Robbie had known Jade the longest and he was the one she was most closed off with – with Andre and Cat, if Jade touched them first, then they could touch her back. Jade seemed to avoid touching Robbie at all costs. Which also ruled out 'threatening' body-types, because if that was the case, it'd be Beck and Andre who she'd shy away from.

Tori finally asked as they sat by Jade's pool one Saturday, waiting for the other to arrive – Tori had been early because Trina had to go to do something and could only drop her off about an hour before the agreed meeting time.

They were sitting on the ridiculously soft cushions of the sun loungers by the side of the pool, Tori in her cute ruffled pink bikini (that Cat and Jade had picked out for her a few weeks prior because, as Jade said 'The ruffles hide the fact your flat as a fucking ironing board and make it at least look like you've got some tits'. She had to admit, the pair was right) and Jade next to her in a black bikini with gold hoops holding the front of her halter bikini top closed at the front and holding the bottoms together at the sides, her curves obvious and miles of paper pale skin on show.

"Jade..."

"What?"

"Um...I know this sounds weird but...uh...you know how you don't like being touched really?"

"Yes. I'm somewhat aware." She responded sarcastically, no doubt rolling her eyes behind her black designer sunglasses.

"It's just...is there...I mean." Tori sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Why are you fine if I touch you? I mean, you always have been. But not with Cat or Andre or Robbie."

Jade paused, tilting her sunglasses down and looking at Tori with a raised eyebrow. "Because you're no threat to me." She said simply with a shrug.

"And Cat or Robbie are?" Tori asked incredulously. Sure, maybe Andre. But Robbie and Cat?

"Listen Vega. I met Robbie when I was a kid – he was bigger than me and a bit older than me, so he was a threat physically and for other reasons I'm not going into with you. I met Cat when I was 12 and...coming out of a messed up situation. She was my first friend other than Robbie. Emotionally, she was a threat. I met Andre when I was 14 or 15 and physically, he was a threat. I met you at 16. I was emotionally stable. And you sure as hell weren't a threat physically and I didn't care or like you enough to worry about you being emotionally a threat like Cat. So you touching me didn't even register on my radar."

"Well!" Tori felt pretty insulted about that; being told you could touch someone because you were so low on their radar, so beneath them that you didn't register a threat wasn't exactly a glowing compliment.

"You knew exactly what you were doing when you asked Beck to kiss you, Tori. You reap what you sow." Jade shrugged, laying back down on the lounger, sunglasses back in place. "Besides, now it's just because you're such a sickeningly nice and sweet pushover, I'm pretty sure you'd rather eat your own foot than intentionally hurt someone. So yeah. I know you can't hurt me physically because you can bet your ass, I would be able to curb stomp you into next week, and if you ever did hurt me emotionally, it would be out of stupidity not malice. Like with your fucking 'Prome'. You're just a fucking moron."

That made Tori stop and blink. It was quite possibly the nicest thing Jade had ever said to her – even if it was hidden amongst insults; and Tori had realised not long ago that with Jade, you had to look underneath her words to find the meanings.

"Oh...well." Tori chewed her lip wondering if she should ask what was on the tip of her tongue; what had happened to cause such an aversion to touch?

"Don't even ask." Jade interupted Tori's musings. "I'm not telling you a god damn thing. My reasons are my reasons. Cat and Andre don't even know, so I'm sure as hell not going to tell you."

"But Robbie does?" Tori asked; she knew Beck did, the boy had told her point blank that he knew, but Robbie?

"Like I said Vega. I've known Robbie since we were literally in diapers. The freak probably remembers more about my childhood that I do." Jade didn't seem in the mood to discuss it anymore but Tori had enough to at least send her thoughts spiralling.

Childhood. Robbie knew because he was around during Jade's childhood. What could have happened to a child that made them so adverse to touch? Well, one thing jumped out at her – because Tori wasn't as innocent as she often appeared. Her dad was a cop after all, and she'd overheard him talking many times to her mother after a particularly tough case; and the cases that hit him hardest were ones of children being abused, mostly because he himself had two kids. And whilst there was many kinds of abuse, generally only beatings and...sexual abuse would cause an aversion to touch. As that came to mind, Tori couldn't help but look at Jade with a distraught look on her face.

She couldn't have been...in her mind, Tori couldn't relate the girl in front of her - tough as nails, more likely to kick you when you were down than give you a hand up, Queen of Mean Jade West – with a child who had been hurt in such a way. To be honest, Tori had a hard time imagining Jade as a kid at all, only picturing her as she was now but...smaller. Which was stupid, because of course Jade was a child once, not just a minature version of her current self. But the facts stacked up; her hatred of being touched, everyone elses guilt when they did touch her, how protective of her Beck could be, not even apologizing to others when she flipped out after being touched...

"Stop it Vega."

"S-Stop what?!" Tori squawked, looking a little confused and offended. She hadn't even been doing anything!

"Trying to untangle the riddle in your empty head. I can practically smell your limited braincells frying as we speak." Jade didn't even look at her, seeming as if she was laying back, relaxing with her eyes closed behind her sunglasses. "Don't try to Nancy Drew this. Just forget about it and move on."

"But-"

"Leave it Vega. I had a shitty childhood and that's all your ever going to find out about it. Don't poke and prod, don't interrogate the others for examples or stories or reasons. Just leave it alone and forget about it."

Tori sighed, biting her lower lip, before nodding, if Jade was even looking. "OK."

That caused Jade to push up onto her elbows and look at Tori disbelievingly over the rim of her glasses. "Seriously? You're going to drop it, just like that?"

Tori nodded again, this time more firmly. "Yes. You're right Jade. It's none of my business. As long as you're...well, happy now, that's all that counts, right?" She bit her lip. "You are happy now right?"

Jade let out a sigh and rolled her eyes, laying back down. "Well, in this moment I'd be happier if I wasn't stuck alone with you but otherwise yes. I'm 'happy', living with my dad."

And both knew the word 'happy' was codeword for 'safe', but neither would mention it again.


So! I already know (I think) what my next multi-chapter story will be (along with 'in all chaos there is calculation' which is more of an ongoing story). Would you guys like a tiny little sneak peek? It probably won't be out until after I've posted my Beck post-Prome one/two shot, but I can give you the tiniest little teaser trailer if you'd like?

If people are interested, I'll be posting it as another chapter of this one. So let me know!