Christmas was approaching and the pile of patient files was finally starting to decrease on Sakura's desk. It had been snowing since the previous week, and while it was fun in the first two days, Sakura was starting to get sick of having to clean up her entryway every single day.
She was taking the next week off for the holidays, having promised her mother that she would only go into the hospital if it was an absolute emergency and no one else could handle it. She didn't know what she'd do for a whole week to herself. There was a bookshelf that's been sitting behind her couch, waiting to be assembled and she still needed to finish up some last-minute gift shopping.
But right now, she was on her way to Sasuke's place, because he had neglected to show up for his scheduled checkup appointment. It worked out perfectly because he lived halfway between the hospital and her parent's home, where she was invited for dinner that evening.
She knocked on the door twice and laced her hands behind her back. She'd only been here once before, with Naruto, when they helped Sasuke move some of his stuff from storage. Well, more like she helped since she was the only one with two hands. And, also, the strongest, as much as it pained Naruto to admit sometimes.
"Sakura," Sasuke opened the door slowly and stepped aside. His face looked distraught, Sakura noted. He turned away from her scrutinizing gaze and walked back into the apartment, leaving the front door open for her.
"Hey, Sasuke-kun," Sakura closed the door behind her and toed off her boots. "You didn't come to your appointment. I thought I'd check on you, I was worried," she admitted.
"I'm fine," he said. Sakura just looked at him with big, green eyes. "My phantom pains have been pretty bad since the snow," he admitted, defeat clear across his face.
Sakura smiled softly. For him to willingly offer up information about his discomfort was remarkable, really. He was proud and stubborn and didn't like to admit the fact that sometimes he did need help.
"That's normal. Some people are more sensitive to the weather. Let me take a look?" She asked as she unwrapped her scarf and stuffed it in the sleeve of her coat.
Sasuke sat down on his couch and propped his right elbow on the armrest. Sakura took a seat on his other side, one leg tucked beneath her, the other dangling off the couch as she faced his side. His hair had grown out some, since the end of the war, and she didn't know if she should offer to cut it. Their relationship had been kind of weird. She knew he was sorry for hurting her – for trying to kill her –, she also knew he still hadn't opened up to her fully. She didn't know if he ever would and she still hadn't had the courage to ask about his family. It just seemed like such an intimate thing to pry about.
She shifted her eyes to his stump. "Have you been managing well with changing the bindings? I can drop by and help if you want me to. I know Naruto has a hard time sometimes," she said as she unwrapped his stump. "There doesn't seem to be any swelling so that's good," she concentrated chakra into her palms to check the tissues and muscle beneath the skin. It was healing nicely. She kept the chakra flowing through her palms into what was left of his arm, but she slowly, hesitantly touched it. He inhaled audibly, but didn't flinch, didn't move away. Sakura kept gentle putting pressure on the stump, stimulating the nerve endings both through chakra inflow and physical touch. Sasuke exhaled.
Sakura kept going for a while longer, they were both silent. When Sakura thought she couldn't possibly invade his personal space any longer, she dropped her hands into her lap.
"Where are your wraps?" She asked, slowly rising from the couch.
"In the bathroom, under the sink," Sasuke said, eyes fixed on the old bindings atop his coffee table. Sakura wandered off to his bathroom and opened the door. She knew he kept things tidy, but she did not expect his home to be this clean. There didn't seem to be a speck of dust on any of the surfaces, let alone anything out of place. She bent down and opened the cabinet under the sink. Neatly stacked hand towels, rows of cleaning products, and containers of medication and ointments lined the shelves. She grabbed a roll of bandages and closed the cabinet.
"I've never seen a bathroom so clean," she said awkwardly, trying to make conversation. Sasuke scoffed, but a smirk played at the edges of his lips. "Alright, all done. Please don't miss your next appointment, Sasuke-kun," she looked into his irises earnestly. "There's not many left, but it's important we keep track of your progress."
"Aa. I'll be there," he kept her gaze.
"Thanks… Well, I should get going," she stood up again and grabbed her coat.
"Wait," Sasuke stood as well. She looked back at him, and if she didn't know any better, she'd say that Uchiha Sasuke looked sheepish. "Are you working tomorrow?"
"No, actually. I promised my mom I'd take the week off. Why?"
"I found some medical scrolls at the compound, I thought you might be interested," he shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. But the slight dusting of red on the top of his ears did not escape Sakura's sharp eyes.
"Really?" Sakura asked, surprised.
"Aa."
"Well, I'm free tomorrow. I can go and take a look at them," she offered because she knew he wasn't going to offer it. His telling her about the scrolls was invitation enough.
"Meet me at the main gates to the district at three," he said as he walked her to his door.
"See you then," she smiled at him, toothy and happy and genuine.
–––
"You're in a good mood," Kizashi noted as he helped himself to another serving of soup.
"You say that as if I'm the most melancholic person you know," Sakura retorted.
"No, but you're the most exhausted, overworked person I know," her father deadpanned.
"Well then you must be pleased that I'm taking the whole of next week off," Sakura announced. "Maybe we could go to the market one afternoon?" She asked her parents. Even before the war, she was busy with her duties and training, but at least they had still lived under the same roof. Now that she had moved out, she knew her parents missed her terribly, their only child, their baby girl.
"What a wonderful idea, dear!" Mebuki brightened up. "What about tomorrow?"
Sakura gulped. "Um, actually, I already have some plans for tomorrow." Her cheeks were burning up, and not just from the spices in the soup.
"Plans, huh?" Kizashi shared a look with his wife. Sakura scrutinized the contents of her bowl. "Do these plans involve a certain building? Starts with 'H–', ends with '–ospital'?" He raised a brow.
Sakura let out a nervous laugh. They thought she was secretly going to work! "No, I promise! A friend found some medical scrolls and said I could take a look at them if I wanted to."
"That's still working," her mother looked at her flatly.
Sakura smiled sweetly and shrugged her shoulders. She loved her parents very much, but she didn't know where she stood with Sasuke, and she didn't need her parents' opinions and meddling, no matter how well-meaning they might be.
–––
Sasuke was leaning against a part of the gate that wasn't crumbling, hand in his pocket, bored eyes directed at the bare tree branches above.
"Hey," she smiled at him with her eyes. The lower part of her face was wrapped in a scarf, shielded from the cold.
"Hey," he nodded and straightened up. "You look like Kakashi," he noted. It surprised Sakura so much, that she couldn't help the giggle that escaped her. His eyes softened slightly. "It's this way," he motioned with his head behind him and turned around, Sakura following closely by. They walked down several streets, and Sakura observed the building surrounding her. She had never been to the Uchiha district before. It was on the very outskirts of the village, almost segregated from the rest of Konoha. Ask him the truth about his family.
Just as she was working up the courage to ask something – anything –, Sasuke stopped in front of what looked like the ruins of a shrine. He formed the seals for a katon and melted the snow off a small, wooden door on the ground.
"Hey, you're managing very well with those one-handed seals," Sakura complimented him, genuinely impressed.
He opened the door and let her climb down first. Darkness greeted her, and she bumped into a wall behind her as she stepped back to let Sasuke climb down as well. She heard the thump of a soft landing and the shuffling of clothes, and suddenly, hundreds of torches lit up along the sides of the corridor. Sasuke started walking down one way, and she followed closely behind.
"What is this place?" Sakura questioned.
"They used to hold secret clan meetings here," Sasuke said. "This is also where Orochimaru reanimated the former Hokages during the war." Every now and again, Sasuke offered up extra information without much prompting on Sakura's part.
"Secret clan meetings? Aren't all clan meetings sort of secret?" She asked.
Sasuke shrugged. "I guess, but some are more secret than others."
They approached a door at the end of the corridor. Sasuke activated his sharingan, and the door creaked open. They entered and Sakura looked around in utter astonishment. The room was hexagon-shaped, all six walls lined with ceiling-high bookshelves. In the middle was a large, circular table, made of dark wood.
"The medical texts are over here," Sasuke walked over to a shelf on the wall opposite the door. "But feel free to look at anything," he pocketed his hand and walked over to another shelf.
"What are you going to do while I browse? This could take ages, you know?" Sakura asked, not wanting to be an inconvenience to him.
"I think I'll manage," he grabbed a book and sat down in one of the chairs around the table.
"Aren't these like classified? Or, I don't know, clan secrets or something?" Sakura asked as she pulled out a scroll and started skimming it. "Am I even allowed to be in here?"
"Being the last surviving member of a clan means I can decide what I want to do with anything clan-related," he said lowly, but Sakura saw the way his shoulders straightened from tension.
"Sasuke-kun? What exactly happened to your family?" She asked, her eyes strained on the scroll in her hands. "You don't have to tell me," she quickly added. "Only if you want to…"
Sasuke took a deep breath. "Some other time."
"Okay," Sakura said softly. She had been patiently waiting for him for years, she could wait a bit more. She went back to browsing the scrolls and tomes, an abundance of knowledge to acquire. She dropped an armful of texts on the table and sat down across from Sasuke.
She wasn't sure how much time had passed, most likely several hours, but her stomach decided to grumble loudly in dissatisfaction. Her cheeks bloomed scarlet.
"Let's go get some dinner," Sasuke closed the book he had been silently reading. "You can take those with you if you want."
"Really?"
"Aa."
Sakura tried to shove as many scrolls into her bag as possible., but the space was limited, and she felt disappointed at the number of texts left on the table.
"We can come back for those another time," Sasuke said as he opened the door.
"Thank you, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, sounding breathless. "So, where do you want to eat?" She asked as she caught up to him. "Personally, I'd like anything, but ramen."
Sasuke scoffed. "How about we eat at my place?" He offered. Sakura's heart skipped a beat, or two, at the thought of eating at Sasuke's apartment, alone with him. The thought of just sharing a meal with him on their own threatened to make her combust into happy, tiny pieces, but going to his place instead of a restaurant just seemed so… intimate.
"You can cook?" Sakura asked, mostly to steer her thoughts elsewhere.
"How else would I eat?" Sasuke retorted as he stopped next to the ladder. "Don't you cook?"
"I've been told on several occasions not to," Sakura grumbled as she pushed the door open and swiftly jumped onto the snow-covered ground. "Apparently, my cooking is a danger to people and their health."
A breath of amused air left Sasuke's lips, and she smiled at him with a blinding smile.
–––
"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun, but this is just not working out," Sakura poked suspiciously at the rice Sasuke had tasked her with. "Is it supposed to be so hard, yet so gooey? And I know it needs to stick together, but somehow, I just feel like, I don't know…" she frowned.
Sasuke left the stove and stepped next to her. They were supposed to make oyakodon. Well, Sakura's only task was to make the rice, in a rice cooker no less, but somehow ended up messing it up. Sasuke took care of the chicken and the rest of the meal.
"How do you mess up making rice in a cooker?" He asked incredulously. "You have to push three buttons."
"Don't say I didn't warn you!" Sakura turned an accusing finger toward him. "I told you I was a disaster. Not only that but sometimes poisonous as well!"
"Sit down, I'll make some more," Sasuke instructed.
She sat at his kitchen table and watched as he moved about with such ease and familiarity. Somehow, seeing Sasuke wielding a pan with just as much comfort as he would wield his katana warmed Sakura's heart.
Sasuke places a bowl in front of her. Her jaw dropped at the sight and inviting smell of the dish. He sat down across from her and picked up a pair of chopsticks. She picked up hers as well and murmured "Itadakimasu."
–––
Sakura spent most of her week off underneath the Uchiha shrine, doing research, which to some, might come off as more work, but for her, it was fun. So much fun. The Uchiha had extensive files on all kinds of ocular ailments, Sakura had never even heard of, as well as diseases related to the chakra network. To say she was astonished would be an understatement.
"Thank you so much, Sasuke-kun," she repeated herself for the hundredth time as she took out a sealing scroll from her bag. She'd learned her lesson the first time she'd come here: a bag just simply is not enough to store all the books she desires. "Are you sure you don't mind me taking these? I'll bring them back as soon as I can, I promise."
"You can keep them," or so he'd told her several times. She just couldn't believe it. She felt like she was intruding on some sort of secret like she was stealing.
"That's not necessary, really," Sakura chuckled awkwardly.
"What am I gonna do with them? Keep them here to collect dust? You'll have better use of them," Sasuke said as he held the door open for her. He always did and it never failed to make Sakura all flustered.
"Thank you," a blush bruised her cheeks as she walked out the door. "So, what are you gonna do for the rest of the day?" She attempted to make conversation.
"The dobe is forcing me to go to the market with him," he drifted his eyes upwards in annoyance.
Sakura giggled. "Forcing, sure. When has anyone ever succeeded at forcing Uchiha Sasuke to do anything he didn't truly want to do?" He gave her a half-hearted glare, which made her giggle even more. "Well, maybe we'll run into each other. I'm going there with my parents. Oh, and by the way, please do not let Naruto get me anything with a cherry blossom on it. I have plenty of stuff to commemorate my namesake, and for some reason, he doesn't understand that I don't need any more."
"Tch, that idiot."
"Hey, be nice! He means well," Sakura elbowed his side lightly as they walked towards the gates of the compound. "What are you getting him for Christmas? I still haven't figured out a good gift for him and I feel awful," she sighed frustratedly. "I'm a horrible friend."
"I won't kill him during our team dinner," Sasuke replied.
"You cannot be serious," Sakura's jaw slackened. "That is not a gift. You need to get him something!"
"Says who?" Sasuke glanced down at her, a single brow raised. The slight uptilt of the corner of his lips told her that he was only teasing. Because he teased her now, and it warmed her more than any amount of hot chocolate bought at the market ever could.
"Says I, the wisest member of our team," she smiled up at him.
"Fine," he muttered. "Annoying," he added softly, so much so that Sakura wasn't sure she heard him right or just imagined it.
That word, it transported her back to a time when the moon was full and bright against the somber night sky, and a boy whispered the softest thank you before darkness enveloped her. To a morning where she woke, shivering on a bench, confused and brokenhearted, but determined to save the boy she loved.
And now he was back, and she still loved him so. They were warily dancing around each other, afraid they'd break the bond they were so carefully trying to rebuild, to strengthen. And her heart was still broken, because she didn't know if his ever would be mended, yet it was so full of warmth and contentment.
They were silently heading toward the direction of her apartment, and when Sasuke didn't turn down a street toward his place and instead kept walking with her, she smiled to herself behind her scarf. Because as disinterested as he looked, with his cool stride, his lone hand in his pocket, his neutral gaze ahead, he was still choosing to walk her home.
"I'll see you around, Sasuke-kun," Sakura turned toward him at her door.
He considered her for a moment, then instead of saying anything, he poked her in the forehead and promptly walked away. She was blinking at the empty space in front of her, beyond confused, but a warmth spread over her whole body from the place he'd touched.
–––
"Merry Christmas," Sakura handed sealed scrolls to Sasuke and Naruto. "I hope you don't mind that I didn't actually buy you anything, but I figured this would be better than anything money could buy," she rubbed her left bicep nervously.
The boys opened the scrolled and scanned through the contents. "Alright!" Naruto exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air, crumpling the scroll in the process. Sasuke just looked at her, a soft look passing through his eyes, but only for a split second.
Sakura had cleared them for training. She knew they were growing restless in the past few months, but recovery from losing a limb could be a life-long struggle. She needed to make sure they were in a well enough condition before letting them back onto the training grounds, where they would inevitably pummel each other into the ground.
"What do you say, teme? How does a friendly little spar sound? Tomorrow?" Naruto asked excitedly.
"You're on, dobe."
"Just take it easy, you guys. I don't have the time to patch you up every day," Sakura turned to Kakashi. "Sensei, this is yours. I think you should expand your literary horizons," she handed him a book. It was historical fiction, with a little bit of romance and none of the gross, pervy stuff sprinkled in.
"I think my literary horizons are just fine," the corners of Kakashi's eyes crinkled as he unwrapped the book. "Thanks, Sakura."
"And here you go, Sai," Sakura handed him a small sketchbook. She had noticed that the one he always carried around was almost full. She was going to get him a couple of canvases but thought that a small, portable sketchbook would come in handier with all his missions.
"Thank you, Ugly, just what I needed," he gave her his practiced smile. A vein ticked on Sakura's temple at the nickname the clueless boy couldn't seem to stop using. "And this is yours," he handed her a small bag. There was a small painting of Sakura in it, on the battlefield, smashing the ground into tiny pieces, but somehow looking graceful still. The shattered pieces of ground transformed into cherry blossoms around the edges of the painting, as they thinned out. Sakura chuckled; she knew she wouldn't get away with Christmas without a gift related to her namesake.
"Thank you, Sai. It's beautiful," she said as she wrapped him in a hug.
Naruto gave her a frog keychain that matched his wallet and said that they were now "bonded for this life and all lives after this," which made Sakura tear up. Kakashi gave her a medical book on the human reproductive system because she needed to understand that there was apparently nothing gross about what he liked to read, which made Sakura want to punch the Rokudaime through the Hokage monument. Sasuke gave her a tiny piece of paper, with a time and location on it, which made Sakura confused.
–––
Two days later, Sakura was approaching the gates of the cemetery, when she felt a sudden gust of wind behind her.
"Hey, Sasuke-kun," she said, not even turning around. He fell in step beside her. "Why did you want to meet at the cemetery of all places?"
"I want to show you something," he answered simply.
He led her down several rows of tombs in silence, eventually heading down an aisle to a more secluded area of the cemetery. Sakura's eyes scanned the tombstones. Uchiha, Uchiha, Uchiha, Uchiha, read all of them. Sasuke suddenly stopped in front of the headstones placed closely together. On both of their sides lay empty slots. Uchiha Fugako. Beloved husband and father. Patriarch of the Uchiha Clan. Excellent shinobi. Uchiha Mikoto. Beloved wife, mother, and friend. Matriarch of the Uchiha Clan.
"Sasuke-kun," she whispered.
"I…" Sasuke started. Sakura was looking at him patiently. Observed as his jaw tensed and his eyes squeezed shut. She knew he had never been the best at communicating his feelings and she was willing to stand there for as long as it took. "I want to tell you what happened to my parents, my clan… I just don't know if I can," he admitted. His eyes were fixed on his father's tomb.
Sakura grabbed the empty sleeve of his jacket. He turned toward her reluctantly. "If… Sasuke-kun, if you can't tell me… how about you show me instead?" The memory of him casting a genjutsu upon her sent a shiver down her spine and left an unpleasant taste in her mouth, but he was trying. He was trying so hard to let her in, and so she would try too.
"Are you sure?"
Sakura nodded, determined. He gave her a long, scrutinizing look, searching for any trace of hesitance. He sighed and his sharingan span to life.
Vibrant images of a childhood filled with laughter and warmth infiltrated Sakura's mind. Sasuke chasing after his brother, asking him to train him. His brother poking him in the forehead. His mother spreading ointment on his bruised cheeks and smiling warmly at him. His mother tucking him into bad with a well-loved dinosaur toy. His father teaching him the family jutsu. Then… the bright images turn dark; the only colors are a deep indigo and a piercing scarlet.
Dead bodies are scattered everywhere, slain in their own homes, on their way home from work, in their offices. Sasuke sobbing over the dead bodies of his parents. Itachi telling him to get stronger, to get revenge.
Then memories of years spent training rigorously. A flash of pink on a moonlit night on a stone bench. A lingering touch. Training in clammy dungeons and moving from hideout to hideout. Unconscious bodies strewn across a training field, yet none of them dead or fatally injured.
Team Kakashi finding Sasuke in one of Orochimaru's hideouts. Sakura's own eyes stare back at her vividly. More running, more training. Killing Orochimaru. The assembly of Team Hebi. Finding Itachi.
Two bloodied fingers grazing his forehead.
Team Taka. The truth about the downfall of his clan revealed. Itachi's true intentions unveiled. Heartbreak. Revenge, revenge, revenge. A madness so encompassing, Sakura could feel it crawling underneath her skin, toward her heart, blackening it. Getting his revenge on Danzo. Their face-off at the bridge. New eyes, yet blurred vision. More revenge. Plans to destroy the village.
The shock of seeing his deceased brother again. Chasing after him yet again. Fighting side by side, as it always should have been. Itachi's side of things, his memories, his feelings, finally revealed to his little brother.
Two foreheads touching. I will always love you.
Reviving Orochimaru. A familiar shrine and its secret passways underneath. An unfamiliar room. Four Hokages stand tall, sharing the tale of the village. Getting to the battlefield. Seeing Sakura's growth for the first time, with clear vision.
Sakura has tears streaming down her face. She's not sure how much time passed in the real world. It would have been a second or an hour. She doesn't care. She knows. Finally, she knows everything. And it is just so heartbreaking and soul-shattering that she can't help but fall against Sasuke and wrap her arms around his waist tightly. The lies, the deception, the manipulation he had to grow up with, and he was yet to heal from.
"Sasuke-kun…"
