I found out that it was the 35th anniversary of the release of episode 1 of Bubblegum Crisis yesterday (25 February 2022). Thinking about the show made me want to write something. Keep in mind that apart from rewatching the first two episodes yesterday, I haven't watched the series in well over a decade, so I may have some details wrong.


Leon yawned loudly. "Oh man, I'm beat." He poked his partner in the shoulder. "Hey, next time let me get a little bit of sleep, okay?"

"Oh?" Daley smirked. "Maybe the problem is that you lack endurance. You shouldn't slack off on your exercise."

"Is that so?" Leon put his arm around Daley's shoulder. "What would you suggest, Dr. Wong?"

"Ride your motorcycle less. I'll give you something else you can ride."

"As if I'll be able to sit down on anything for the next few days."

There were a few tired laughs from other officers in their division, but Nene simply rolled her eyes. "These two again."

It was the longest-running comedy double act at AD Police: McNichol and Wong's Innuendo Theater. According to what she had heard, it had started almost immediately after Leon had been transferred to their division and partnered with Daley.


"What's up, McNichol?"

"Ah… I was wondering something. But… it's kind of personal."

"Go ahead."

"Maybe it's not appropriate to ask, since I barely know you…"

Daley swiveled his chair around and face Leon directly. "McNichol, we're partners now. We're going to spend a lot of time together. We're going to have to trust each other completely. We need to be able to talk to each other about absolutely anything. Nothing's off the table. What do you want to know?"

"Ah… excuse me for making assumptions but… are you homosexual?"

Daley opened his mouth, then closed it. He fingered the rainbow flag pin in his tie. He glanced at the muscle magazine on his desk, next to the "Best of Maria Callas" CD. "Oh no, they've found me out," he said in as flat a monotone as possible.

Leon reddened. "Sorry! I didn't mean to…"

Daley smiled and laughed. "C'mon, man, I'm kidding with you. But yeah, I'm gay, which, by the way, is the term I prefer. I'm fine with everyone knowing about it. It's 2027, after all." He frowned. "If you've got a problem with it, we can talk to chief Todo about getting a new partner for you, but…"

Leon waved his hands. "No, no! I've got no problem with it! I just hadn't met anyone h… gay before."

"You've never met anyone gay? Where the hell are you from, Utah?"

"Idaho. Basically the same place, but with less scenery and more potatoes."

Daley winced. "Yikes. So I suppose you had…"

"An ultra-conservative family. They don't believe in homose… gays."

"Well, I'm gay, and I choose not to believe in them."

"That's more than fair! Anyway, I'm trying to get past all that now that I'm in the big city. So if I say anything that offends you as a gay person, please tell me."

Daley smiled. "I think I can work with that. I can be your guide along the lavender passageway."

"Excuse me?"

Daley stood up. "You're just curious, right?"

"Yes?"

Daley's smile became more of a smirk. "I just want to know if you're curious…" He reached over and pulled Leon by the front of his shirt. "...or if you're curious."

"D-detective Wong?"

Unable to keep the act going, Daley snickered. "You should have seen the look on your face. But don't worry. I'm not attracted to straight guys. Especially guys so straight they only eat bananas sideways."

"Hey! I'm not that bad!"

Daley waggled his eyebrows. "Oh? Then there's hope? I might be able to convert you to team pink?"

Leon was about to protest again, when he saw something in Daley's eyes. There was a playfulness there.

"Well, uh… are there any benefits to switching?"

Daley grinned. "Oh, I'll give you benefits, all right."


Almost everyday, they put on a bit of a show.


"You haven't had boba tea before?" Daley asked. "Try you some, I know you'll love it."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Trust me, I know how much you like balls in your mouth." Daley passed the cup over.

Leon took a sip through the straw and then coughed. "Hey, you could have warned me! I'm not used to balls nearly that big!"

"How dare you."


Leon moaned, his head face down on his desk.

"Priss stood you up again?"

"Yeah. That's it. I'm giving up on women. Daley, you've won. Let's find a hotel, and you can take my innocence."

Daley shook his head. "What terrible timing. I just decided to cross over to the het side. Country music! Top Gear! Bacon!"

"Oh no, and I bought a new pair of knee pads and everything."


Daley grimaced.

"What's up, pard?"

"They're not fitting right down there. Everything's too tight."

Leon frowned. "Funny, for me everything's a bit loose."

"Oh, that's it. We were in such a hurry this morning that we must have put on each other's und…"

Leon slapped his hand over Daley's mouth. "Not in front of the kids!"


Nene thought it was a little bit odd when Daley arrived alone. Usually he and his partner arrived at the same time.

Also, for once, his shirt was buttoned all the way up. And he had a tie on.

When Leon arrived in a tie, Nene realized something must be wrong.

"Hey, Naoko," she whispered to her desk neighbor.

"Hmm?"

"Did someone die? Why are Leon and Daley dressed up today?"

"It can't be. There would have been messages about it if someone died."

"Then why…." She watched Leon walk to Daley's desk.

"Good morning, Detective Wong."

"Good morning, Inspector McNichol."

It was strange. Why were they being so formal at work, when usually, they were the living embodiments of double entendre?

Nene and Naoko gasped and looked at each other when the realization hit them. "They fucked!" they whispered simultaneously.


Author's notes:

Title from Monty Python's Flying Circus.

The "they don't believe in gays"/"I don't believe in them" gag was cribbed from Angels in America by Tony Kushner.

I don't have to point out the Lion King reference, right?