=Astrid's POV=

{Saturday, May 7, 2022-8 pm}

(Berk; Haddock Manor)

I finally understood Hiccup avoided me all day after the kiss. It's because he still loves Olivia, and mourning her being gone from his life when the two had been in love, raised Runa, and were married briefly. However, Hiccup was fighting his feelings of letting go and moving on. What shocked me was learning Hiccup liked me before he met Olivia and that his feelings for me never truly faded because he was hurt by the fact I abandoned him and the others once I become rich. Hiccup admitted that he wants to be with me, but he isn't ready yet. I can respect that entirely, and I admired it more that he was honest in not being ready to move forward into another relationship. Hiccup was still mourning as it has only been six months since Olivia's passing, but also; there was Runa's first birthday coming up, and all this Drago nonsense that has yet to be wrapped up. I understood Hiccup and I both had a lot going on and holding off on jumping into anything was the best course of action for now.

I loved the sight of the Northern Lights from on Toothless's back above the clouds, and I'm glad I got to see it with Hiccup. At the moment, we're all sitting around a calm fire in the backyard; I'm next to Hiccup and relaxing. I wasn't sure how we'd spend the rest of the night, but this was nice.

"Hiccup?" Valka asked.

"Hm?" Hiccup glanced her way.

"How about some of your campfire songs? You used to do them all the time when we went camping over the summer to Dragon's Edge," Valka asked.

"You mean go get my acoustic and start playing songs everyone knows?" Hiccup inquired as she and Stoick nodded their heads. "Fine," he sighed as he got up and moved inside. Ten minutes, Hiccup was back out with a black acoustic guitar. "Alright, what do you wanna hear?"

"Oh, I get first pick?" Valka beamed.

"It was your idea," Hiccup stated.

"Oh, what about that Wherever You Will Go one? The one you made to the music video?" Valka asked.

"No," Hiccup remarked firmly. "Anything but that," he added.

"What about the wed-," Valka tried.

"And that," Hiccup responded. Valka huffed. "Sorry, Mom. Trying to get past it, not back into misery mourning,"

"Which is fine…Right, Val?" Stoick looked at her.

"Of course," Valka nodded, remembering what Stoick told her earlier. "I only asked because we never got to hear it,"

"And it's likely that no one ever will," Hiccup informed.

"It might make you feel better," I suggested. "Like the Tidal Wave one,"

"This is different, Astrid…The song was performed once; the day Liv passed…I sang it to her when no one else was in the room," Hiccup muttered. The area was quiet now, nobody wanting to push the issue.

"Dada!" came Runa's voice. Hiccup's head snapped up and looked behind him to see Maeva, Birger, and Bard making their way over.

"Roo?" Hiccup got up after setting the guitar against his chair. "I thought she was spending the night with you guys. Is something wrong?"

"No, no; she's fine, Hiccup. I just think she wants you tonight; she's been crying and yelling for her daddy," Maeve smiled softly as Hiccup took Runa from her. Runa was whimpering a bit, but snuggling against Hiccup's chest. Hiccup pressed his cheek to her forehead and frowned a bit.

"She's warm," Hiccup mentioned. "Doctor said she might get ear infections and fevers accompanied with discomfort from teething…" he dug into the diaper bag to get out a bottle of medicine, then started shaking it. Hiccup sat down as Runa sat up in his lap while Hiccup uncovered the top and revealed a dropper there. Hiccup filled it to the right amount and gave it to Runa. Afterward, Hiccup put the stuff away and pulled out a stuffed, green Changewing and held it out to Runa; she giggled and took it quickly, holding it close. Hiccup got a black blanket next, but the top of it was a Night Fury.

"Hey…I have one of this…" I smiled. "Does it have her name on birthday on it?"

"Yeah…" Hiccup nodded with a smile. Runa's hand moved up and grabbed hold of the chain where Hiccup's and Olivia's wedding rings were.

"Mama?" Runa asked.

"Just me, Princess…" Hiccup said softly. It broke my heart; I've heard babies can sense when something isn't right. Runa must know Hiccup is missed Olivia right now. Runa laid her head on Hiccup's chest, yawning. Hiccup covered her up more and leaned back in the chair. "I know you miss her…I do too," he closed his eyes.

"We were watching some home videos with Olivia in them…Runa was in her walker and kept touching the screen saying mama. When we tried to lay her down she started crying for you, so we came back…" Bard explained.

"It's okay; I don't mind. I miss my night cuddles when she's not here," Hiccup said, relaxing. After a few moments of silence; Hiccup started humming when Runa got fussy. Instantly; the child began to quiet down and look up at him.

"Grandma and Grandpa painted a picture of sixty-five years in one little house. More than a memory. More than saying I Do, kiss you goodnights, and I Love You's," Hiccup began singing. My eyes went from the fire to his figure. There was no music, no playing the guitar; nothing. It was just Hiccup singing in the silence. Valka tapped Stoick's arm to get his attention, and soon everyone's eyes were on Hiccup, but he had his closed and didn't seem to realize everyone was watching him.

"Me and you baby will walk in their footsteps. Build our own family one day at a time. Ten little toes, a painted pink room; our beautiful baby looks just like you," Hiccup continued as he looked down at Runa in his arms. Runa smiled and snuggled more. "And we'll build this love from the ground up, now til forever. It's all of me, all of you; just take my hand, and I'll be the man your dad hoped that I'd be. And we'll build this love from the ground up, for worse or for better. And I will be all you need, beside you I'll stand. Through the good and the bad; we'll give all that we have. And well build this love…From the ground up,"

Hiccup hummed a bit more as he was rubbing Runa's back while she began to fall asleep. "This life will go by in the blink of an eye, but I wouldn't want to spend it without you by my side. The clouds are gonna roll; the Earth's gonna shake, but I'll be your shelter through the wind and the rain!" Hiccup felt Runa hold the rings tighter as he closed his eyes.

"And we'll build this love from the ground up, now til forever. It's all of me, all of you; just take my hand, and I'll be the man your dad hoped that I'd be. And we'll build this love from the ground up, for worse or for better. And I will be all you need, beside you I'll stand. Through the good and the bad; we'll give all that we have. And well build this love…From the ground up," Hiccup continued, then picked up humming more of the tune. Bard was holding Maeva while Birgir moved closer to Hiccup and smiled.

"Someday we'll wake up with thousands of pictures, of sixty-five years in this little house. I won't trade for nothing, the life that we built. I'll kiss you goodnight, and say I Love You still," Hiccup took a breath. The song was beautiful, and I loved how it sounded even without the music I assumed went with it.

"And we'll build this love from the ground up, for worse or for better! And I will be all you need, beside you I'll stand. Through the good and the bad; we'll give all that we have. And well build this love…From the ground up," Hiccup's voice softened. "From the ground up…Ohh.."

Runa was out like a light as Hiccup kept his head back on the rest of the chair, eyes closed.

"That was beautiful, Hiccup," I said gently.

"It was mine and Olivia's wedding song. I titled it; From The Ground Up. Never made the music for it…And I probably never will," Hiccup started, then looked at his mother. "Don't ever ask me to sing it again, Mom…" he stated quietly.

"Shall I take her, Young Master Haddock?" inquired a female staff member. Hiccup looked back at the Holgerson's.

"Do you want to take her for the night, or should I keep her?" Hiccup asked.

"I think she's pretty content with you," Bard smiled. "We'll take her another time,"

"Understood. Talk to you through the week, and please return home safely," Hiccup nodded.

"We will. Goodnight, Hiccup," Maeva kissed Runa's cheek, then backed up with a hand on Hiccup's shoulder.

"Night," Hiccup said after shaking Bard's hand and giving Birger a one-armed hug. The three left after that as Hiccup relaxed in the chair a moment longer. "You can take her up to her room," he added to the staff member standing beside him. The woman smiled, nodding; the carefully took Runa from Hiccup before going inside. Fifteen minutes later; she returned with the baby monitor that Hiccup set on a table beside him revealing Runa on camera fast asleep.

"What now?" Snotlout questioned.

I could tell Hiccup was upset, and this was all I needed to know Hiccup wasn't ready to move on yet. Little things like just now are what he had trouble letting go of and moving forward. I feel like Hiccup would have been okay if Valka hadn't asked Hiccup to sing the wedding song for him and Olivia. Hiccup's mood had gone a bit sour, and he wasn't replying to anyone now.

"Screw it…" Hiccup got up and moved away from the fire, but leaned against a post while pulling out a small box; I couldn't see what it was in the darkness. However, my eyes widened when I saw him place a small tube with an orange bottom between his lips. It was a cigarette. Hiccup put the pack in his pocket while covered the tip and lighting it with a red lighter. Hiccup took a drag, then lifted his head towards the sky before blowing out the smoke.

"HICCUP HORRENDOUS HADDOCK!" Valka screeched. "What in the name of Odin are you doing?!"

"Smoking," Hiccup replied calmly.

"Since when?!" Valka demanded. "Stoick! Say something!"

"What would you like me to say, Val? Hiccup is eighteen, and it's perfectly legal…" Stoick reminded. "Though, I do suppose I want to know what it's all about, son? You've never smoked before…"

"Little after my birthday," Hiccup shrugged with the cigarette between his middle and index finger. "There was a lot going on; I got stressed out…A friend at work let me have a few drags off theirs on break when they saw me stressing, and I liked it, so yeah…"

"Hiccup…Smoking is so unhealthy…" Valka frowned.

"It's not like I do it all the time, Ma. Relax a little…" Hiccup sighed, taking another drag and blowing it out before moving back to his chair and sitting down.

"This is the first I'm ever learning of it, and here I thought you didn't do these kinds of things," Valka huffed, clearly not approving of Hiccup's stress-reliever method.

"You also thought I wasn't capable of having sex at sixteen, became a father and husband at seventeen, now widowed or whatever before eighteen?" Hiccup chuckled a bit.

"No, I did not. You were always a good boy…" Valka stated.

"And who said I'm not? Just because I've done a few things that all teenagers do?" Hiccup questioned.

"Not all teenagers do the things you've done, Hiccup," Valka argued.

"Really?" Hiccup asked, giving his mother a bored look. "You're going to sit there and tell me you and Dad didn't do anything as teenagers?"

"Well, I…" Valka paused as Hiccup took another drag and blew it out with a smile.

"Uh huh…You aren't fooling anyone, Mom. Uncle Gobber has told me too many stories of your teenage years," Hiccup remarked.

"Gobber…" Stoick warned. "What have you told him?"

"Nothing much…Just what he basically said. You two weren't all that innocent in your teenage years either," Gobber stated. "Give the lad a break; he's had to deal with a lot that most teenagers don't. I don't see the harm in what he's doing,"

"He's smoking!" Valka screeched again.

"And there's worst things he could do, Val. He's sitting around the fire with family and friends taking some stress off," Stoick sighed.

"Yeah, Mom. I could be out drinking and doing drugs, never home, getting into trouble…I mean, the possibilities are endless," Hiccup reminded.

"You are not helping," Valka stated to her husband.

"But he's not wrong, Mom. Dad's just telling you how it is, and being real with you," Hiccup said.

"But Hiccup…" Valka began.

"But nothing. I know people my age who go to raving parties with alcohol, weed, ecstasy where all they do is get fucked up and laid every couple of nights. Believe me; I've got connections to do the same…But I don't, Mom. Okay? I'm home, safe and sound with family and friends. Me smoking a cigarette shouldn't' be one of the things that make you think I'm some kind of delinquent…" Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"Still, Hiccup…Your father and I raised you to deal with your problems differently," Valka sighed, defeated.

"You taught me not to give in to peer pressure, and I haven't. A friend at work saw me stressing out, so he asked if I wanted to take a drag or two. I said yes…Had I said no; he wouldn't have backed off. This was my choice; nobody made me do it," Hiccup explained as he dug into his pocket and tossed her the cigarette pack. "There are twenty smokes to a pack, including this one now…I've only had about five since March when I bought that. You are free to check the receipt as it's still in there,"

Valka opened the top and saw the receipt, she closed her eyes and passed it back to Hiccup as he put it away again, then took another drag before looking at her. "I only do it when I'm ridiculously stressed out and upset,"

"And I get that, Hiccup…But still. You've done so many things that your father and I taught you not to do…Having a child at seventeen being one of them…" Valka mumbled.

"Oh, for the love of-" Hiccup sighed. "Ma, don't make me have to explain to you the changes a teenager, male or female can sometimes go through after puberty. It was just sex…"

"Which leads to getting pregnant!" Valka countered.

"Dad, help…Please?" Hiccup asked.

"Val, leave the boy be. Come on…He's a teenager; they all end up having sex before High School is over these days. You know that; we did it on prom night…" Stoick reminded.

"STOICK!" Valka glared.

"What? It's not a lie. Don't give the boy a hard time about something we did too, that's all I'm saying. So what if he had sex at sixteen; it happens when hormones take over. At least he didn't do it with a stranger and took responsibility when Olivia got pregnant. And I can promise you that regardless of age, our boy doesn't regret any of it," Stoick laughed a little.

"Nope," Hiccup shook his head. "Given the chance to go back and do it again; I'd still do it the same way. And seriously Mom…If Liv were still alive, bet you two weeks worth of pay that I'd be upstairs doing her instead of smoking,"

"HICCUP! I am your mother; I don't want to hear about your sexcapades, young man!" Valka paled.

"Mother, a sexcapde is going around having sex with anyone whenever I can. You know what else we call that…Being a whore. I promise you that I'm not one," Hiccup laughed. "If Liv were still here; I'd be making love to her as a husband does with his wife,"

"Well put, son," Stoick nodded.

"And you wouldn't be smoking if you were with her?" Gobber arched a brow.

"Fuck no. Having a release is a hundred times better in reducing stress, and any guy or girl here isn't going to dispute that fact," Hiccup smiled. "If I could be having sex right now, I would. Just being honest. The only reason I'm not is that Liv is gone, and I'm single. Not gonna do it with someone I don't care about,"

"100% true, my friend," Eret nodded.

"Gonna have to agree with that one," Dagur raised his hand. "Sorry, Mrs. Haddock, but Hiccup's right,"

"Wouldn't masturbation achieve the same effect?" Ragna asked.

"If you've never had sex before, probably. Once you've done it; masturbation doesn't compare," Thuggory informed.

I couldn't help but giggle a bit, but hide it. Poor Valka looked horrified at the information. "This is also what teenagers do; talk about this stuff as a normal conversation topic," Gobber nudged her arm.

"At least I'm honest about the things I've done whereas most teens hide it from their parents about what they do," Hiccup shrugged. "Again, worst things I could do, so relax a bit," Hiccup reminded.

"I suppose," Valka sighed. "Just don't get addicted to it, Hiccup. It starts with smoking, and when that doesn't work anymore; teens tend to look for harder things,"

"Well, I don't have to look very far; I can switch to pot or harder with one call," Hiccup said.

"HICCUP!" Valka scolded.

"I'm KIDDING! Odin above, relax!" Hiccup laughed with our friends. Even Stoick and Gobber did. "Look, Mom. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I'm your perfect kid. But...In the face of it, nobody is perfect," Hiccup finished his cigarette then tossed the butt into the fire with a flick before releasing the smoke. Hiccup smiled now, and I was happy to see it. Yeah, weird that he smoked, but there were worst things he could be involved in. I guess a cigarette once in a blue moon wasn't the worst, just new to process the information.

"Well, we'll leave you kids to enjoy the night," Stoick said pulling Valka away from the fire as Gobber followed.

"So, now that that parents are gone," Snotlout grinned at Hiccup.

"What?" Hiccup asked.

"What you said before. About being if you weren't single, you'd be having sex right now. That go for meaning you'd sleep with Astrid, right? As someone you care about?" Tuffnut teased. My eyes widened to saucers, a blush encasing my face.

"I mean, I guess?" Hiccup said.

"Excuse me?" I asked quickly.

"N-Now hang on, Ast…I didn't mean it as in like…Right now," Hiccup put his hands up. "Unless, of course, you wanted to,"

"Would that not make us friends with benefits?" I rolled my eyes.

"I, uh…I didn't hear you saying no to the offer," Eret chuckled. I blushed hard.

"Hah! Check her face; she'd totally do it," Ruffnut laughed.

"She's curious," Camicazi smiled. Hiccup stared at me now.

"Wait, no…Hang on," I tried.

"She totally wants to know what it's like to fuck him," Snotlout pointed. I got flustered and walked away from the fire where they were, crossing my arms over one another.

"Guys…Back off a little. Things between Astrid and me are a bit…What's the best way to put it? Up in the air right now. There are mutual feelings on both sides. We've talked about it, and we're just going to leave things alone…And see where it goes, but we're not together. Okay? I've already told Astrid I'm not ready to move on yet, and she understands that. So be mindful and respectful of the boundaries," Hiccup advised, though, I heard him.

"No problem, Hic. Just a little fun is all," Thuggory said.

"Well, like I said…Mind the boundaries now that you know where Astrid and I are right now…" Hiccup got up and moved my way. "Astrid…Are you, ya know, curious about sleeping with me?" Hiccup asked. "Come on; we're all being honest here…And after our little chat earlier; I figured you would be to,"

"Okay, given what was said earlier and everything…Maybe there's a little curiosity on the subject…" I admitted. "But we're not doing anything. Especially not with how things are right now…" I said quietly. "Perhaps with some time, like we said before?"

"Hey, I get it, Ast. We're teenagers; feelings and hormones are running high especially knowing that we have feelings for one another. We've shared a few kisses in the heat of the moment…Sometimes, you can't help it and-You know what…Ignore all that, and I'll leave it at this, okay?" Hiccup said as I nodded. "I'm not gonna make you do anything. But if you ever get an urge or whatever that I cause-," Hiccup stammered a bit.

I smiled some. "I hear what you're saying. I just wouldn't want anything to be awkward with us…Since we're not together as a couple,"

"We've always been friends, even with a couple of years break when you were popular; we made it back to where we are now," Hiccup offered.

"I know, but let's not worry about it right now. Things are still…New, ya know? Come on, let's join the others," I added. Hiccup and I walked back to the fire, and being respectful; we changed subjects for conversation pieces. I was glad Hiccup, and I talked…And I'm happy to give him his space while we let things run their course. Tonight, though, had been perfect and now we could just enjoy it; a group of friends talking and relaxing around the campfire.