A/N: Rough start, but I wanted to get the introductory chapter over with so I could start with the good stuff!
The Palmetto State Foxes was only just the beginning for Neil Josten. After graduation, he decided not to let anything hold him back from his professional exy dreams, even if it was a relationship. And when he and Andrew Minyard were drafted for separate teams across the country, though it was hard, he said goodbye and wished the best to the only man he knew he would ever love. It had been hard to come to terms with, but it gave him the future he desired, despite the imperfectness it became without Andrew.
It had been three years since he went pro on a national team, and he had been following the team Andrew joined as if it were a new sort of religion. He often spent his nights wondering what could have been had they joined the same team. Would his bed still be warmer from an additional body every night? Would he have someone there for him still? Or would they have gone their separate ways eventually under different circumstances?
Seeing Andrew thriving on a different team drove Neil to the point of insanity. Was he still taking care of himself? Was he sober? Did he ever think of what could have been as well? Had he moved on and found someone else? Were things better with him and Aaron? It killed Neil not to know a damn thing about the man he had shared all of his secrets with, especially given what they had gone through together. Was it all for nothing?
It seemed as if it were by a miracle that Neil had been recruited for the same team as Kevin Day. He felt relieved being able to practice with someone after everyone else had gone home. If he were honest with himself, it kept his mind in place and not thinking of Andrew as often as he breathed. Some days, though, Neil was almost certain that Kevin knew he was still hung up on the blond, but he was glad his companion never said anything about it.
Some days were easier than the rest, but Neil couldn't help but notice the empty space in his life that Andrew had once occupied. Things felt heavier after they went their separate ways. On some days, it would feel as if he were suffocating, and on others he felt as if he were truly moving on. He couldn't control his feelings, which made him practice until he felt nothing.
One night after practice, Neil joined Kevin at his apartment for a beer and to watch the final game of the early season. Lo and behold, Andrew's team was playing. Neil tried not to notice how good his ex-boyfriend looked on the bench during the first half, but when Andrew went on the court to play his knuckles clenched until they turned white on the armrest.
Andrew was guarding the goal on live television when a member from the opposing team crashed into him while trying to score a goal. Neil and Kevin watched in horror as they saw Andrew's left forearm snap to an unnatural angle, followed by his right leg below the knee. The cameras immediately cut away as sports stats filled the screen.
Neil felt as if he were going to vomit right then and there. Tears he didn't realize that he even had were pouring down his cheeks as he dove in front of the TV, desperate to get a glimpse of Andrew that he knew wasn't coming. "No, no, no, no, no!" he shouted at the screen. "Andrew! God! Fuck! Please be okay!" If only he could jump through the screen and be right there at that game, he'd run to Andrew's side and never leave it again. "Andrew! Kevin, did you see that?! Please tell me I'm just drunk! There's no way something like that could've happened, right?!"
He turned around and noticed that Kevin's face had turned a gray-greenish color. His panicked thoughts immediately dissolved as he grabbed Kevin and nearly dragged him to the bathroom just in time for him to vomit directly into the toilet.
Neil paced in the hallway behind him. "Shit! Fuck! Where is that stadium?! Which hospital will they take him to?!" He raked worried hands through his auburn hair over and over. "This can't be real! There is no way! This isn't like what happened to you, Kevin! Andrew will probably never be able to play again!"
Hearing the words that came out of his own mouth made it too real. Neil immediately dropped to his knees in defeat and devastation. He vaguely recalled making an excuse to leave after making sure Kevin was okay, but all he knew was that he had some phone calls to make. There was no way he would let Andrew suffer alone.
.
It took nearly a week to figure everything out, but Neil was able to find out which hospital Andrew was in and was able to go in and see him, thanks to Andrew's twin brother Aaron, who happened to be a doctor there. Though he knew he would be owing some major favors for everything, he didn't care. As long as he was able to even be in the same room as Andrew once more, he didn't care.
Neil slipped into Andrew's hospital room upon arriving and saw the many monitors surrounding his bed. He fought back tears as he carefully examined the casts on his arm and leg, thankful that the surgeries had gone well and his bones were back in place. It broke his heart to know that Andrew would never play again, but to be within touching space of him was enough to soothe him.
He sat down in the chair beside the bed and pulled out a book to read. His eyes constantly glancing up to check on Andrew, he slowly made his way halfway through the book before he sensed movement in the bed.
Andrew's hazel eyes slowly blinked open, widening when they focused on Neil. "What the fuck's going on?" he murmured. "What are you doing here?"
Neil nearly choked on his words. "How are you feeling?" he finally managed to say, wishing that he could have said so much more, but he knew he needed to take it slow.
"Like shit," the other grumbled. "What kind of a hallucination is this anyway? How much of that stuff did they give me, and how do I wake up?"
"I think I've told you before that I'm not a hallucination." His voice was low and serious. "I was watching the game on TV with Kevin, and I saw what happened. I've never been more scared in my entire life. Andrew, I searched everywhere for you. There is no way that I could let you go through this alone in good conscience."
"But everything else is just fine, huh?" Andrew's hazel eyes fixed Neil with a hard glare. "Tell me, Neil, what is the exact part of your logic that made you think I needed you after all these years?"
"I want to help you with your recovery. There has to be something I can do. I'll even take care of you and nurse you back to health."
He made a show of pretending to think it over. "Tempting," he sarcastically mused, "but it was you who didn't need me, remember? I've spent these past few years all alone, and now you want to suddenly give a shit?! Do you realize how fucked up you being here right now is?! What value do I suddenly have that makes you think I'm worth your time again?!"
The truth in his words stabbed Neil like the knives he knew the other still wielded. "Please," he whispered, voice weak, "let me help you. You lost everything and it wasn't even your fault. Aren't you angry about it?"
"I'm more angry about suddenly being worth a damn now that I won't be able to play anymore," Andrew snarled. "I'm not some charity case, Neil! I'll be damned if I let you, of all people, pity me! Why am I only good when I'm going through something?!"
There was a knock at the door and a bespectacled Aaron entered. He was leaner than his twin and his glasses made it even easier to tell them apart in their post-college lives. "Do you have to yell?" he groaned, tapping the top of Andrew's head with his clipboard. "That's all you do when you're conscious. We all get it. You're upset. Hell, even I'm pissed that this happened, but we have to move on from it." His gaze landed on Neil. "Good, you're finally here. Talk some sense into him, will you? You're the only one who's ever been able to get into that thick, stubborn head of his."
"There is no way you're passing me off to him like this," his twin mumbled in disbelief. "Aaron, that's not possible. I'm supposed to be discharged from here to family."
Aaron shook his head. "Drew, you know how stressful everything is at my place. With the second baby coming any day now, how can I take care of you and Katelyn at the same time? When I married her, I promised her that she came first, especially when I knew someone else could take care of you just as well, if not better."
"That was back before he left me, and you know it!" Andrew's words were like venom, melting down and poisoning his surroundings. "And you!" He whirled on Neil. "Don't tell me you were a part of this decision!"
"He wasn't, I forced Neil to do this in exchange for telling him how you were doing in here."
"Illegal abuse of power…"
"Say what you want, Drew, but I know Neil will take care of you in my stead."
"And once I'm healthy, expect me at your doorstep, because Neil doesn't stick around, remember? He's lived his entire life hopping from place to place. Why should we count on him to even take care of me? For all I know, I'll get to his place and he'll walk out the door and never come back."
Neil swallowed hard, fighting back the rage and hurt that consumed him. He knew that Andrew had a point with his word-shaped weapons. Getting Andrew to trust him wasn't going to be easy, and he knew that, but he would be damned if he abandoned him ever again.
When neither of the two changed their minds, Andrew looked to Neil with a new ferocity in his eyes. "One percent, Josten," he growled. "Maybe not even that much."
Neil couldn't help but think, 'At least it isn't zero.'
