It took a while before Ningguang truly understood what it entailed to bound herself with Zhongli. Among other things, he was the Geo Archon, the god of Liyue, the very god she prayed on days when her Qixing duties were too much to bear. Zhongli was also a man who had lived for centuries, and that in itself comes with baggage much too heavy for a human mind to wrap around.
For the past years that he had lived, he had witnessed and fought a war. He had seen the death of his comrades and on his hands were the blood of his friends who had succumbed to damnation. The loss and pain he carries are too heavy even for god's heart.
The first time Ningguang brought him along for her Tianquan duties, it was to the Guyun Forest. The sun slowly sank into the sea and the wind gently ruffled his hair. When they reached the peak, his eyes lost their focus and Ningguang swore that for a moment, she could see the blood and fire and melancholy reflected in his amber eyes. It was too raw, a mixture of rage and pain and… regret that Ningguang, in her acknowledgement of his sorrows, kept her silence, opting to slowly slide her hands against his palm, careful not surprise him. His grip tightened and his eyes no longer pinned towards the depths of the sea and the lines of the rocks that scattered around them. His gaze burned with the memories of the war and even Ningguang, who had seen her fair share of troubles, could not return his gaze. Leaning her head on his shoulders, she vowed to herself that she would take better and gentler care of him, because even a god needed all the gentleness he could receive to counter the horrors he had faced.
Inside their room, she had a nook where she could brew their morning tea. She had it made a week after Zhongli started to go home to her on weekends, murmuring that he never slept as peacefully as he had when Ningguang was beside him in all of the centuries after the war. Ningguang purchased three more pillows for him and procured his favorite black tea from Madam Ping.
After three months of personally picking up the tea, Madam Ping handed her the pouch and said it that would be the last batch she would give her. That morning, she taught Ningguang how to make the tea leaves and brew them exactly as Zhongli liked. His eyes glazed when he saw the tea leaves dried out in the gardens.
The morning after, the scent of black tea wafted inside their room. Zhongli woke up to her pouring them both a cup. Peeking from behind her, he wrapped his arms around her stomach and kissed her cheek. He was always most affectionate in the mornings. Ningguang placed the cups on a tray and brought it to their balcony overlooking Liyue, Zhongli following suit. He took a sip, paused, and looked at her. With bated breath, Ningguang waited for his reaction. He merely took her hand and kissed her palm, murmuring thank you against her skin.
In a gentle whisper, he told her that the black tea reminded him of days before the war and it was a daily ritual of sorts for him, to always remember the people he lost, his friends, himself, when all was as it was before the war. It was no longer him who made their tea in the mornings since then.
Some nights, he would shift restlessly in his sleep, moaning in pain and calling out names of gods forgotten. Some she recognized. Some are names lost in time. She would hold his hand and slowly shake him awake, careful and gentle, as to not surprise him. Often his eyes would open and he would freeze. Ningguang would take her free hand on his cheeks, thumbs gently moving back and forth and she would whisper in his ears you are safe, you are here with me, no harm will come to you, my love, come back to me, I will keep you safe, bringing him out of his nightmare.
On rare occasions, he would slowly open his eyes, blinking ever so slowly, the memories lingering in his mind and he would turn towards her. Ningguang would place gentle and light kisses on his cheeks, his forehead, his eyes, his lips. And it is Zhongli who would place his free hand on her cheeks, returning her kisses. Lost in intimacy, she could taste his losses, his grief, and his gratitude.
Some days, Zhongli would seem distant. His answers would be clipped and monotonous. He never forced Ningguang to stay with him when his demons knocks on his door. He was always honest when it happens, apologizing and letting her know that today wasn't the best day for him. The first time she let her know, he stared at her with bated breathe, waiting for her response, ready for the disappointed gaze he was sure he would receive.
"Would you like me to stay with you in silence or would you rather we end today's meeting?"
With a relieved sigh and a wild look in his eyes, he took her hand. They walked in silence with no destination in mind and ended in the shores of Yaoguang. With their shoes held in one hand and the other in each other's hand, they walked along the edges of the water. It was Zhongli who spoke first, breaking the hours of silence they spent together. He told her that it was here that he first saw her. Ningguang was too taken aback to speak, surprised that the god knows her even then.
Zhongli, as if in a trance, relayed that day in perfect memory. Releasing her hand, he held his palm up, sitting on top was a hairpin. It was made of dark fir and inlaid with jade. The curve of the pin was carved into the shape of a phoenix.
"This was what I bought from you."
Ningguang stared at him, eyes wide, and said, "You kept it?" Frowning, she added that she never sold hairpins as elegant as this.
"These were the gems you first manifested after your Vision was bestowed. Curious how you frowned upon activating your Vision. It was a gift after all… Even more so when you climbed up Mt. Tianheng in the midst of the night to see if it was indeed real."
"It was the only free time I had. The energy of the Vision was too much on the first day, I had to release it. I did not want to cause a ruckus inside the chamber."
Zhongli hummed and told her that he had the phoenix carved when she ascended as the Tianquan. He wanted to give this pin as a gift to her as Rex Lapis, to show her that the god of Liyue saw and appreciated how far she had come from roaming the shoals of Yaoguang to being the Liyue Qixing's Tianquan.
Deftly, he took the pin she was wearing and replaced it with his gift. Ningguang raised her hand to caress the pin.
"I am no longer giving it to you as Rex Lapis," his hands trailing alone her hair, resting on her neck.
Looking up at him, she answered, "I appreciate the sentiment, both as Rex Lapis and as Zhongli. Thank you. I cannot possibly put into words the gratitude I have for this."
Ningguang rose on her toes, sand digging on her feet, and gently cupped his cheeks, eyes gleaming in joy and searching for approval. Leaning in, Zhongli captured her lips in his, heart beating out of his chest. After a very long time, finally, he felt at peace.
Zhongli would gift her small sentimental items often afterwards. But a staple in his gifts and Ningguang's favorite were the freshly picked wild glaze lilies. They were more fragrant and brighter than the ones that dotted the Yujing Terrace. The first glaze lilies she received from him now hang in various parts of the new Jade Chamber, pressed dry into a frame. One was in her bedroom, one in her office, and another in the lobby.
On weekends, Zhongli would ask her to cook. He would always find something to help her with. It took him six months to finally tell her that it was because the way she moved around the kitchen was calming. She abruptly stopped cutting up the carrots and asked him if so, did he truly liked what she cooked then?
Zhongli was bewildered. Ningguang never saw him frazzled before. It was almost comical how fast he stood up and walked towards her, his hands waving and frantically saying no no no, I love everything that you cook followed by a string of explanation that it was both the calmness she brings and the comfort of the food she makes. It makes him feel like he has a home.
Her amused chuckle slowly turned into a teary appreciation with every word he said until tears were pouring out of her eyes, pulling Zhongli into an embrace. The archon became even more frazzled brushing her hair in confusion, asking her what was wrong, and profusely apologizing.
Slowly, that's what Ningguang became, his home. After a full day at work at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, he would enter the newly built Jade Chamber and stride directly into her office. Most days, he would bring street snacks she enjoyed. A cup of black tea would be waiting for hi, scent wafting throughout the room. Ningguang would take a break from her tasks and would stand beside him to give him a quick peck on the temple before sitting opposite him. Zhongli would hum and continue sipping his tea, ready to tell her about his day.
It took a while for the both of them to finally settle into true comfort, both too used to living alone. The process wasn't always beautiful and some days, they had to relearn and unlearn habits. Small sacrifices, as Ningguang would often tell him.
Indeed, they were small sacrifices in exchange for the lifetime of comfort, love, and affection they both shared. For the life they have lived, what they now have is a blessing they deserve.
