I sit quietly in the rain thinking about all that has happened today. My mood feels as wet and dark as the rain falling from the dark sky. But I hide my face from it all.
What do real ladybugs do when they're threatened? I would suppose they would hide under the green leaves, but I've also read that ladybugs have hidden powers of their own.
I feel small, staring into the eyes of the Praying Mantis (Hawkmoth) but he has already struck. My eyes sting and I feel the water running from my eyes. I clench my hands tightly, trying to control the shaking. Trying to control the trembling.
I felt so confident this afternoon, and now I've lost out of my confidence. I'm glad Cat isn't here to see me like this, but I'm sure he will find me soon enough.
I lift my eyes slightly, thinking of Adrien, Adrien Agreste. The moment when I realized my yo-yo was gone, he helped me through it. Held my shoulders while I hyperventilated telling me it would be okay, and I needed to calm down. His warm hands on mine felt cold, I couldn't believe I was tricked. I should have trusted Cat Noir sooner when he was suspicious of the Dog Miraculous holder that turned out was Felix.
Mistake after mistake piles up like cord-wood ready for the fire, but Paris has burned enough for me today.
I have to reach down, reach further then I ever have to find my confidence again. Just because Hawkmoth has all of the Miraculous besides mine and Cat's, I can't give up. I won't give up and these are three good reasons. (even if there are plenty more.)
1. I made a promise to the people of Paris that Cat Noir and I would protect the city from Hawkmoth
2. Cat Noir who has been by my side since day one who has loved me through it all.
3. Adrien.
The wind blows my black hair and it whips into my face. Cat. I have been so horrible to him. Hiding things, secrets, lying. I hate liars so that means I hate a part of myself. Though our identities must remain a secret because of Cat Blanc, I must tell him everything and soon.
I'm exhausted and I curl up in a small ball, hugging myself. Though it is raining, Paris is so beautiful. Purple clouds with shiny water beads falling from the sky, it is as if the sky is crying alongside me.
Will I even go home tonight? Is there enough strength in my numb legs that even at this moment are trembling? I have the questions, but have yet to seek the answers.
"My Lady," A voice says.
There stands Cat Noir powerful and strong, a tower of strength when I am down. He extends his hand to mine, and with trembling hand I reach out and take his, a lifeline in the storm.
Pulling me into a hug he whispers words of comfort, and my body begins to finally relax, he smells good rain and soap and leather.
Then I hear them start to cheer. "Ladybug! Ladybug!"
Wait. Are they cheering for...me? And for Cat? Oh, these amazing Parisians who still have faith in me, still have faith in their hero, Ladybug.
Cat and I stand tall and strong, and the confidence, a small surge, rushes through me. When the crowd disperses it is completely dark. The only way I know Cat is still here with me is that I can feel his hand holding tightly to mine, a anchor in this vast sea.
"Are you ready to go home, my love?" he asks me. I squeeze his hand to tell him yes, and he gathers me in his arms.
I must have fallen asleep on the way, because we get back to our small apartment I'm in bed and Cat holds out a mug of coffee for me. "Thanks, Kitty."
I drink the hot liquid gratefully, and slowly begin to warm up. I'm not just cold from being in the rain, my emotions are cold too.
Setting my mug down, I open my arms to Cat, pulling me to me. I need him to hold me. Love me. I look into his green eyes. "Will you sing me to sleep tonight?" I ask.
Cat, being Cat, cocks his head at me. "M'lady, I know it has been a tough and emotional day, but do you really want me to sing?" "Okay," I relent just a bit. "Will you read instead?" "That I can do," he says, his perfect white smile smiling at me.
"You know though, for a cat, your a purr-ty good singer," I giggle. "I would leave the cat puns to the expert, my love." I smile and swat at him. "I'll stick with sassy," I laugh.
"Ooh! You should put that on a t-shirt," Cat says, green eyes gleaming. Giggling, Cat pulls out a book and begins to read.
I settle down next to him, holding my stuffed koala Olive with one hand, and Cat's in the another. My eyes grow heavy as I listen to his voice, snuggling up to him.
"Your breath smells good today. Did you have coffee too?" I mumble. "As opposed to a tuna can?" I open my eyes. "You know I would not be snuggling with Mr. Stinky Tuna Breath. Ha! There's your T-shirt!"
Cat mock pouts. "Taking away my tuna is just cruel." "Its still in the cupboard! But don't get any ideas tonight." "Oh, I have ideas, but they aren't about tuna cans."
"Don't touch my yarn basket. Got that Fur ball?" I roll on top of him, flicking his gold bell. "I'm your fur ball, and we cats are known to cause mischief."
"We should rename ourselves Sassy Bug and TunaNoir." Cat starts purring at the thought. "I'm just picturing you as a canary with your sassy yellow feathers and me with a fish tail."
We laugh until tears roll down our cheeks. Nice try, Hawkmoth. You may have thought you have beaten us, but we are strong and still giggling. You haven't beaten the Bug and Cat team, not by a long shot. I don't care how many days it takes to get the miraculous back, because Cat and I will be doing it together.
