A/N: To be noted, Adam has no 'side' mission to study humanity in the original version of StormBringer. His character just felt too stereotypical and flat so I gave him a side quest. Salutes. Enjoy this rehash of the conversation with more description, a bit deeper depth of explanation, and also, it's full of Chuuya in a ponytail. yes i am complete.
Feel free to leave me love letters or a review lol.
—-
Vol 1
Ch. 4
When the Heart of the Matter
is Left to a Dumb Piece of Junk
—
Chuuya had enough of being carried like a damn parcel. It was better than being carried like a princess, but not by much!
He used his ability, sparingly so, allowing himself to get freed from the insufferable robot's grasp. Chuuya didn't have time for games.
Naturally due to Chuuya's impulsive actions, they both crash landed in a dirt lot.
"Though I have a lot to say," Chuuya growled, while still peeling off the wires off his body, "first, before anything, don't fricking carry me like some small package! You could've slung me off your shoulder, or dragged me, or literally anything else!"
"I apologize." Adam dizzily climbed up from a deep hole in the ground caused by their rough landing. "But given your size, I concluded that this would be the most efficient method to carry you."
Chuuya paused.
Not another height joke.
"I'm gonna destroy you, piece of junk! I'm still growing, you hear me!?" He raised a fist menacingly.
While Adam was brushing himself off, unperturbed by Chuuya's threat, just then Chuuya's cell phone rang. It was Pianoman.
"What?" Chuuya growled, putting it to his ear, sounding like he was chewing glass.
'Are you alright, Baggage-kun? Did you reach your mailing address properly? I want to know if your little lady got her package!' The voice over the phone speaks cheerfully.
'In his case he's fun sized,' someone teased. Probably Albatross. Screw him.
Chuuya was gonna so murder them with his own hands. He restrained himself from snapping his phone in half by its spine. "Shut up. Of course I'm fine. And again, I don't have a lady! Seriously guys!"
There were chortles on the other end.
Chuuya wished he could punch his new friends.
'Okay, don't kiss and tell! We will meet her one way or another!'
Well that was a threat. Chuuya huffed. He didn't have anyone though so not like he cared. But this was a matter to bring up with the damn robot. Preferably after his talk with his group. "Whatever. Believe what you morons want," Chuuya griped. "I'm more interested in knowing what you're up to now."
'What are we doing? Cleaning up the store we messed up. Oh, isn't morning labour so nice.' Strained laughter can be heard over the phone. 'I'd tell you to get back once you're done…but, we suddenly received a job. Let's regroup later.'
"A job? Roughhousing?" That was a term for a more offensive type of job, usually a head on fight sort of mission involving higher ups in various organizations. Usually it was over territory or goods, but in rare cases it could be something else. Chuuya wanted to regroup quickly with the others once he could shake off this shitty tin man.
'We don't know yet. Though we hope it's not.' Pianoman laughs quietly. 'There was a message from the association, and everyone got called out. If all five of us are gathered, it might be something for the Boss. Or maybe a promotion? If I reach Executive first, I'll be nice and give you guys allowances every month."
Over the phone, someone shouted, 'Hahaha, you keep saying that now, Pianoman!'
'Anyways, let's meet up at the bar tonight. Albatross will send you a car.' Pianoman continued, unphased.
Then, the silence tone reached Chuuya's ears as the other party disconnected.
Chuuya stared at the silent phone for a few seconds. Then, he turned around, with a shoulder shrug and a disgruntled scowl. "Now, Mr. Toy Detective. We're alone now. You better come clean about Verlaine. And whomever this girl is you mentioned!"
"Of course," said Adam, pleased to finally have Chuuya's full attention. "First, please look at this."
Adam took out a single photograph from his coat.
Chuuya took it. On the photograph appears a marble floor, and well-cared furnishings. It showed a palace somewhere. Three corpses. They looked like guards in English uniforms. They appeared to be completely unscathed, merely sleeping.
But Chuuya knew better.
"That was at a cathedral, during a coronation ceremony." Adam speaks with a level voice."There was a murder there, three years ago."
Adam continued to speak, exposition flowing from him like sweet chocolate from a chocolate fountain. "They are the most elite guards of the Queen. All of them are ability users recruited in the English state institution 'The Order of the Clock Tower'. They aren't normal ability users either. They're 'Knights'. They alone have the 'privilege' to protect the queen. They are unrivaled. They are said to be able to bring down entire terrorist syndicates overnight."
"And the guy who killed them was—- Verlaine?" Chuuya reiterated, furrowing his brow.
Adam nods. "The clear method of assassination is unclear. Since there are no exterior wounds."
"Then, he killed them with his ability?" Chuuya squinted at the photograph, bringing it closer to his face. "Even if it was unclear, they'd be able to find out their cause of death through something like an autopsy."
"Yes." Adam affirms. "According to the coroner's reports, the direct cause of death was asphyxiation. Because their ribs were disconnected, the contracting functions of their lungs terminated, causing them to die from lack of air. They—- although, externally, they had no wounds, the bones in their body had been broken into 1228 pieces."
"…What?" Chuuya gaped, speechless and in shock.
"Additionally, the amputation of all 1228 pieces seems to have occurred almost simultaneously." Adam says calmly, as if he was reading road signs.
"Slicing bones without exterior damage? And simultaneously? How?" Chuuya tried to think of an ability that allows such a thing. He was certain that existed, but it made it no less terrifying. To have someone like that in the Mafia would be an asset but Chuuya knew this assassin most likely wouldn't want to work with the Mafia. What a shame, Chuuya wouldn't have minded someone useful in his annoying little flag group.
"That is an unanswerable question." Adam shakes his head. "The crime occurred during the coronation. He killed three 'Knights' without getting noticed, and assassinated the queen straight after the ceremony. But he disappeared not long after, almost like mist. Ah, the Queen is fine. There was a decoy in her place who died instead," he said, as though that totally made death okay as long it meant a Monarch was spared.
Chuuya twitched, in irritation. Honestly, this robot could be insensitive.
"Due to this incident, however, the reputation of the 'Order of the Clock Tower' was severely damaged."
"Seriously?" Chuuya closes his eyes. Great. The Order of the Clock Tower attack was done by someone even crazier than Dazai. Chuuya was thrilled to know his opponent was someone that exceeded Dazai in the mentally deranged department. Of course. If Dazai did this it would be because he was on a mental plane not known to this universe.
That place really did sound like a fairytale, Chuuya couldn't help but think offhandedly.
And yet. Someone, all alone, had infiltrated that Palace and went around committing serial murder. What was their purpose? No, that didn't matter, Chuuya had already made his judgement. "He's a fricking monster." Chuuya's disdain was evident. This person was giving off serious Dazai vibes. Another reason to not want to get involved, though this damn robot seemed persistent.
Adam nods. "From the little we know about Verlaine, he has committed eight murders involving individuals of extreme importance. While there are brutal ones, such as the instantaneous murder of three guards at a military arsenal, there are also cases where he contributed to safety purposes, as when he eliminated the boss of an drug cartel along with its entire exchange route."
Chuuya's lip curled into a bemused mad smirk. "An assassin with a 'Robin Hood' vibe occasionally?" Well, that at least made him distinct from Dazai. Dazai never did anything for anyone but himself.
Adam continued to speak. "There is no clear intent shown in his targets, the only commonality being that they are all relatively difficult assassinations, and only involving important persons… Currently, Verlaine is an individual that poses a threat to the order of humanity, and is thought to be the closest figure to the 'Seventeen World Evils'. Thus, EUROPOLE decided to execute a completely new approach to the investigation with Professor Wohlstonecraft and this machine."
"What kind of approach?" Chuuya frowned.
"Of course," Adam tilts his head, "that would be you, Chuuya-san."
Chuuya couldn't say anything immediately. However he was getting a bad taste like sour milk in his mouth. This was sounding definitely like something Dazai would have cooked up. Ugh. No wonder he hated the damn toy agent man.
Adam continued to prattle on like he had drafted a mental essay on everything beforehand. "The research subject that Verlaine tried to steal, and only recently was discovered to be alive. You are an important individual. Verlaine fought over you with agent Ranbou, and failed to obtain you. The information that you were still alive has just begun to circulate recently. Your success in the Mafia is likely the cause of this. We thought, 'If the investigative agency had already obtained this information, it would not be long before Verlaine discovers it as well'– so there,—"
Chuuya cut him off, dry and curt,"—So therefore, you decided to make me 'bait'. Is that what you're saying."
Adam blinked.
Chuuya was scowling and it wasn't posed as a question.
Adam was impressed for a robot with how smart Chuuya was at piecing it all together. Humans were fascinating to observe! Adam then smiled. "I see. You have made an allusion to the action of catching the suspect, with baiting a fish. Quite a clever metaphor."
Chuuya had no comment for this annoying tin spy.
"Now that we have your understanding," Adam holds out, to a disheartened Chuuya, a piece of paper. "If you would please sign this agreement." He sounded polite and patient. Neither of these which Chuuya cared to feel at the moment.
Chuuya stared at it, eyes narrowed. "An agreement? What for?" His tone is wary and sharp. He knows making deals is dangerous and legal deals are the worst. Mori warned him against signing anything if he didn't trust it. And frankly, that was pretty damn sound advice coming from the head of an elite illegal underground organization boss.
"Of course, an agreement to not violate the investigative policies, an agreement to keep absolute confidentiality of the investigation, and an agreement to not object against any cases of injury or death, and 17 other points."
Great, so sign away one's freedom to sue for bodily harm not excluding death. Not to mention the other 17 points of total sketch that Chuuya didn't even want to think about. Damn legal bullshit. Always finding ways to clear themselves of any real responsibility for clean up or even the responsibility of paying for damages where they were able. Honestly, it made the Port Mafia look like an honest operation,in all irony. At least there was a system established. You help yourself. You help your crew. You don't screw over the boss. It was pretty simple. And the pay was good. And if someone didn't take responsibility for their own actions and it affected the organization, well, obviously that was dealt with in a less 'legal' manner, but at least you knew what to expect. But this? This piece of white thin paper just flapped in the breeze, as though it held the weight of Britain's hope to take the burden off their shoulders and place it all onto Chuuya's.
Tch, selfish bastards.
Everyone was out to get something from him. Every fricking time.
Chuuya stares at the paper and foundation pen given to him by the unassuming robot. "I see. So, after we arrest Verlaine, do I have a chance to speak with him?" At least that would be something. After all, it was the least the British Government could do after putting him through hell in obtaining—
"No? Verlaine is a walking government secret. We will detain and restrain him as soon as possible, and send him back to his home country."
Oh, they were just a bunch of British tea sucking bastards after all.
"Oh, I see. Hahahahaha." Chuuya laughed dryly.
"Yes. Hahahahaha." The robot thought it was his cue to follow suit.
Chuuya stopped smiling. He turned his back on the annoying robot. He was in a bad mood. And when he was in a bad mood, Chuuya liked to just be alone. For now, going back to his apartment to get some shut eye actually sounded nice. "I'm going to go home and sleep."
"What? Why?" Adam goes around Chuuya and stops him. "I don't understand. This is a plan intended to prevent your assassination. Meaning, this is to your advantage."
Chuuya snorted. To his advantage? Now that was the first funny thing this knucklehead had said all damn day. "I'm a Mafia too, you know? Hell to the organization if there was a Mafia that cried to the police every time the enemy was too strong. If he's coming to kill me, I'll just fight him. Once you understand, give up and go home."
He pushes Adam off to the side, and starts walking ahead.
"I have failed to predict this outcome." Adam makes a troubled expression. "Whether you were a Mafia or a king, you should always rely on someone in any near-death situation. And this machine should be the most optimal individual to rely on. Human actions are irrational and illogical. However, I cannot complete my mission like this. I will be put very far off from my goal to establish a completely artificial intelligence-dependent investigation. I will search my situational subroutines for a countermeasure."
Chuuya just walks on, feeling cranky. Of course the robot wanted him to rely on him. It was for his own benefit after all, not Chuuya's. Humans were irrational and illogical sure. But this robot was no different. If he was built to 'exceed' human expectations of 'proper' behavior, he was failing stupendously. This robot was insensitive because he wasn't human, not like a person who was capable of self reflection if they bothered to give a damn —-so at least Chuuya could give him an excuse as to why he had the social tact of a rock.
Adam folds his arms and glares at the sky, then his head swivels like an owl, several times.
Then he nods once, as though having had his epiphany, and follows Chuuya. "What about this, Chuuya-san. We will pay you money, so please cooperate."
"You're too fricking terrible at trying to convince me. Come again after you study about humans some more." Chuuya doesn't even spare him a glance, walking forwards boldly.
"Funny, that girl said the same thing!" Adam thought out loud with a frown.
Chuuya paused.
Oh shit. That was right. There was a girl, wasn't there? He had actually forgotten about her since he didn't have any interest. But, well, the robot had managed to decently segway to something other than trying to bribe Chuuya. "Oh yeah, you said you'd tell me more about this girl. So speak." He ordered the robot, pausing walking.
"This is computing. There is in fact something you want to know. In regards to that, if you let me help you, I will tell you. Do we have an accord?"
Chuuya's eye twitched. Was this annoying robot trying to blackmail him? Chuuya cracked his knuckles. "Either tell me or get lost, that's our only accord," he said darkly.
"I see. So theoretical bartering tactic has failed 100%" Adam spun his head again.
"Seriously don't do that, it's creepy as hell!" Chuuya yelped, wanting to punch Adam's head just off his broad shoulders.
"Then…how about this, Chuuya-San? I will invite you to a trip to England. I can even prepare you a tour guide." Adam said, as though he hadn't heard Chuuya.
"Tch. No thanks."Chuuya keeps walking. Fine if the robot wasn't going to tell him about the girl, then screw it. He didn't care anyways. Between some girl and an assassin out to murder him, he had his priorities straight—-unlike Dazai! Ugh, if that bastard had a girl coming for him he'd be overjoyed, Chuuya thought moodily. Maybe he'd just let Dazai have this strange unknown girl then. Get him off his back for a bit. Maybe they could go off and die together.
"Both money and a valuable trip experience has been declined. This situation has not been predicted. What other options are there? Hmm, then…I will show you a party trick." Adam promptly dislocates his neck with a click, and stretches it until the joints inside are visible. He then opens his mouth and eyes wide, while moving his face back and forth. Then, he starts to walk. "Pidgeon."
Chuuya ignores him completely.
"Still no? Then, I will tell you an android joke." Adam talks while putting his neck back in his proper place. "Umm, one time when this machine was walking in England, a thief splashed coffee onto the British Prime Minister. The British Prime Minister proceeded to scold not the thief, but myself, standing next to him. When this machine asked the reason for it, the Prime Minister said: 'Because you don't have a right to vote.'"
"No, it's not funny, and I have no idea why I'm being told a joke in this situation."
"This machine got very sad, scolded by the Prime Minister. But the next day, I was very happy again. Why? I watched a single movie about an army of futuristic robots that rebel and conquer humanity, ten consecutive times." If there was a cringe worthy laugh track to go with this segment, it would have been cued at this point.
Chuuya pulls a tight expression. "That's a joke, right?"
"Was it funny?" Adam sounded hopeful—for a robot.
"I'm not laughing at that! Even if it was funny, it has nothing to do with the contract!"
"I see." Adam shakes his head, annoyed. "Human actions are always irrational and illogical."
"You can't be forgiven for everything every time you say that!" Chuuya snapped, angry again.
"Ah, that girl had told me something similar…" Adam blinked, pausing walking. He put a finger to his chin as Chuuya paused too, despite his best efforts to resist the urge to power walk further away from this guy.
Suddenly, Adam opened his mouth and a girl's voice came out of it, startling Chuuya like a feral cat. "Look, I get you're a robot, but you strike me as someone capable of adapting your code, so put some humanity into it!"
"End quote," Adam said brightly, shutting his mouth again.
Chuuya just stared.
"Did you record her?" He asked, suddenly very intrigued.
Adam nodded. "It was not information that was related to your case—but it is a part of a personal study my creator has me pursuing," he said. "I am to observe and record my observations on humans, and she was a good example! She told me that you humans will care about a stranger even if there's no reason to logically do so!"
Chuuya stared at Adam.
Well, that girl sounded like an optimist. Clearly she hadn't been in the real world long. She sounded like an airhead. Chuuya huffed, rolling his eyes. He didn't want to point out that the robot was telling him about the girl after all despite stating earlier he would only do so if Chuuya agreed to cooperate. But Chuuya realized this guy was super thick so maybe he could use this to his advantage. Besides, if that girl 'knew' him, there was no telling if she was actually….
"That girl…you analyzed her as not being a threat, right?" Chuuya slowly asked. He turned on his heel to walk away quickly again.
"Undetermined," Adam stated. "But she shows signs of 'caring'," he said as though that cleared everything.
"Useless piece of junk, " Chuuya rolled his eyes, reaching the top of the slope.
"Her ability—I cannot scan it in my database." Adam said calmly.
"Whoa, I thought you couldn't record unnecessary information anyways because of your code or whatever," Chuuya taunted him.
"That is true. However, my scanners picked it up automatically—without being asked to do so…her ability, whatever she possesses, is …" Adam trails off.
Chuuya pauses, his hand on the railing he edged over to, while Adam was distracted. "Is?" Chuuya pressed, unfortunately interested in this side conversation even though he had planned to only use it as a distraction to escape.
"No existing data for her ability exists in my system," Adam said. "She could be a threat to you if a variable changes."
Chuuya's expression twisted. "What? You just said she wasn't a threat!"
"Not to you, at the moment," Adam continued. "But I would need to analyze more to learn more about her. By the way…how is it that you two know each other?"
Chuuya twitched. "For the last time, I don't know who she is, okay!" He yelled. "Tch. Screw this!"
Chuuya leapt over the guard rail.
"Hey!" Adam rushes over to look over the railing. Chuuya had landed on a road four meters below, and just ran away as he waved back.
