It was all going so well. Everyone was nice, friendly, and helpful. They always were, though, weren't they? So what happened? What brought him to walk along the tracks of a train on such a chilly night?
Thinking back as he shivered, Ven supposed it started then. When a misunderstanding occurred and when Jack came to his aid, only furthering the misunderstanding. People sure didn't take kindly to threats, meaningful or not. He wished he could take them back, but what Jack said was, well, said and done. Nothing he could do to take it back. Nothing. Nothing.
What else? That was the end of that career. He'd tried coming back to the community under a different name, different just about everything to hide his identity and be free of his mistake in allowing Jack any kind of freedom. It worked for a little, but the cracks started to show early on, resulting in another uproar.
Terrifying.
Terrifying.
Terrifying.
Mistakes weren't meant to be made in this society. Be different in the wrong way, in any way, and be damned. That's what he'd learned. He was different. People like him were deemed unworthy of life and condemned to an early death. That's what all the onlookers pleaded and begged for. His true personality mattered little in comparison to his flawed mental state. That, he learned loud and clear with both attempts.
And yet, Ventus tried one more time. A new area completely. No one should know him or his past mistakes there. A brand new start.
That's what he thought and hoped for anyway. So he tried again. He had to have hope. Hope he'd find something worth looking for.
And all seemed amazing at first. Beyond so. There were a few things he'd have to get used to, rules and the like, but he could abide by them, surely. He'd start over. Make friends that way. Not be alone anymore. Even the therapist he'd acquired left him feeling more alone than anything. She was nice, sure, but no conversations were truly had. Instead, she was definitely more after his money and wallet than his well-being. Even someone as naive as him could figure that much out.
It was...distressing to say the least.
What next. What next.
Why did that go so poorly? Did he slip up again, let on to how broken he truly was? No, he only ever did that if something went awry. If he broke down. Everything caused it now. Every little thing. Maybe that's why he found peace traversing in such a hazardous zone under freezing temperature that nipped at and numbed his rare yet exposed skin. Only the face and hands were dotted and dampened by thick snowflakes.
No, that's right. They found him uninteresting and unimportant. It wasn't new though was it? He'd have fun with these people only to find out later that they never truly cared for him, easily forgetting his existence a moment after they left him. It hurt. It stung. Beyond belief that they could mean so much to him yet he could mean so little to them. To everyone.
Right. That's why he was here.
Even when he cried and pleaded for help on the matter. Such a serious matter it was, that of suicide, he'd go ignored and abandoned. Perhaps it wasn't the right thing to do now. Maybe he shouldn't take everything they did to heart. Every rejection. Every scorning word. Everything. At this point, was the idea of "good" even a thing? Or was it all a guise? A guise to get people what they wanted. He wasn't sure, but Jack's voice rang loud and clear for him to hate mankind as well. It was, to say the least, hard to ignore.
Ventus didn't want to hate the world though. That sounded like such a dismal experience and life. No. He'd much rather it all just stopped. He was a bad person anyway, albeit thanks to Jack's and the rest's influence, he never truly meant harm to anyone. Everyone pegged him for his inner demons though. There was no way around that. It was sad, but something he'd never be able to escape. They'd always see the cracks to his darkness even passed such bright smiles and words.
It's alright though. Everything was going to be fine. He'd be at peace soon. He could hear it coming too. The roar of the train racing fast behind his slow steps. No, he couldn't hear it. He was told by his faithful companion. His soulbound mother. He'd miss her too, but she'd stay with him even in death wouldn't she?
That mattered not as the light shone in the distance and he merely smiled at it. Dulled eyes taking in what would be his final sight.
Aqua, Terra, his dad. They all came to mind, but he couldn't keep going if all he'd ever have were them. Call him selfish and gluttonous, but it just wasn't enough. If he didn't have more, there just didn't seem to be a point. Let alone if people only took one look at him and deemed him unworthy of life or attention no matter how nice they were previously to him. It grated on his nerves, but ultimately it depressed him.
This was fine. He'd be fine.
Ven stopped walking along the sides of the rails then, instead shifting to stand in the middle of the tracks, sight dead ahead at what came barreling at him. He was a little frightened, frightened for how painful it would be. Frightened of the unknown. He couldn't take it anymore though. He didn't want to be misunderstood and rejected anymore so this was fine.
Everything would be fine.
Author's note: The interludes will have nothing to do with the plot of this story and will simply be vent drabbles as this is a vent fic.
