"Why don't you go to hell, Terra!" Ventus snapped, venom practically dripping from his tone for disdain of his elder brother. Terra didn't take too kindly to the threat, instead he pulled the car into a nearby gas station and parked it, unlocking the doors.

"Get out." The elder commanded. Ven didn't even hesitate in getting out of the car. Anything to get away from his brother. Stepping from the car and having slammed the door shut, Terra drove off. Lucky for the blond, home wasn't far. Just a block or two away. At least it wasn't cold either. Nice June, summer air and breeze of Chicago to cool the skin of his face.

He supposed he should start walking though. Better than getting kidnapped. It was the outskirts of Chicago after all, not the best of neighborhoods. Always someone shooting a gun, kidnapping others, or raping people in cemeteries. None of that sounded appealing, so while he was too angered to make haste for his destination, Ventus strolled along the road. Fuck sidewalks, they didn't exist in his neighborhood anyway; the road it was, like the rebellious boy he was.

The walk home was peaceful, he just about forgot why he was mad at Terra even. It was probably something idiotic and silly, maybe he should apologize and make up when he got home. Terra's car was there so he beamed at the chance to make it up to him and play something along his side.

Stepping into the house, he was met with the sight of Aqua sitting on the couch reading a book and his mother passing by to frantically grab her keys and head out. Terra though, he wasn't to be seen. Did he not come home, or was he pouting in his room?

"Is Terra home?" Ven asked his fleeing mother.

"No, he went to the park to cool off. I'm on my way to get him."

He opened his mouth to silently spell out 'ah.' He didn't get to actually say much before she left to retrieve their brother. He supposed it made sense. It was the dead of night and in a bad neighborhood where someone did get raped recently, it was best to save him. He kinda wanted to go with, but she was already leaving so Ventus opted to hop over onto the couch and put on a movie. One of his favourites too. Horror and about video games. What could go wrong there?

"Ven, I was trying to read." Aqua whined just a bit, book pulling down from her eyes to see him and potentially glare at him? No, she'd never glare at him. She was too nice a person.

"But I want to watch a movie." That was a whine. He couldn't hide from his childish ways. "Can't you read in your room?"

"I was here first?" She asked as if that should have been obvious.

"But my tv is smaller than this one. C'mon, Aqua, just lemme' use it."

She gave him a hard stare, contemplating just what she should do. It wasn't long before she gave in. He guessed she must really have wanted to read that book. Being the selfish brat that he was though, he didn't feel bad in the slightest. He was triumphant if anything. Being the winner, he donned his headphones connected to the tv to actually hear the movie.

It wasn't for a while, almost to about half the movie before Aqua came back down and placed a hand on his shoulder for his attention. He jolted with surprise but took the headphones off and placed his hearing aid back in.

Looking back at her, he asked "What?"

"Mom's in the hospital. Apparently she fell and hurt herself climbing to get to Terra."

Mom hurt herself? That wasn't very big news. The discs in her back were out of place so she was always injured in some form or way.

As Ven thought it over, Aqua already started heading out. Maybe it was better if he stayed home. Terra might still be mad at him after all, and he doubted it'd be a good idea to start a fight in the hospital.

Trivial thoughts. Aqua was gone, so were his brother and mother. He went back to his movie to pass the time.

It wasn't until he woke up did he finally see them back. His mom was on painkillers for her aching back, and Terra was surprisingly not mad at him. He was happy to have them all back.

It seemed like everything would be fine. Of course it would be though, why wouldn't it be? Father's day a few days later wasn't that great though. He'd never forget it for as long as he lived.

It was okay until he was out streaming with Futaba at her house. Terra and Aqua were on a food run, and he'd gotten a call from his dad. His father was drunk, as usual so he had to bear through it.

"Mom's dead." He said in his aggravatingly intoxicated tone. Ven hated it. He hated alcohol so much. If only it was gone. But what was he saying? Their grandma died finally? The jerk that judged him for ever dyeing his hair or wearing cute animal hats? Good riddance. Maybe that was a bit harsh.

"Get over here." Oh now he had to go home? Probably for a meeting on what to do about their dead grandma. She was racist and homophobic though, she wasn't that pleasant to be around at all either. What was there to say.

Whatever it was, he was annoyed but he texted his siblings.

[Text]: We need to go home. Dad's drunk and says mom's dead but he's probably just joking again.

Before long, they arrived with food. He'd love to dig in but they had places to be for now so he hopped in the car and ignored the food for the time being.

The sight the trio saw at home was one they'd certainly never forget. The dark streets were lit up by red, white, and blue flashing lights of cop cars and ambulances. Immediately, the feeling of dread sunk into his siblings. Shock was all Ventus felt.

Aqua screamed into the night for their mother and Terra ran after him. Ven followed behind with Futaba in tow, she clung to him as he trudged along the yard's grass and to the front where police and his father were standing. Their dad discussed with the officers, but everything was such a blur. The next thing Ven knew, he was being escorted away and back to the car. He'd heard something about his mom having overdosed on her painkillers. How they weren't prescribed correctly and didn't mix with her other medication, but was that right? He wasn't sure. The next thing he knew, he was back at Futaba's place, idly playing games and keeping in silence.

Only when the funeral came and he saw her casket get lowered into the ground, did he finally start sobbing.

If only I went with her to get Terra. If only I didn't fight with him.

If only. If only.

Author's notes: I'm just hit with so much guilt today apparently. Guilt for online and guilt for my mom's death years ago. It just never seems to end. It all always plays on repeat, plaguing my mind with "if only's."

We still don't actually know what happened to our mom, but she called our dad for help and he ignored his phone which I resented him for for years. The cops couldn't decide if it was a purposeful suicide, accidental, or if our dad killed her on purpose. It bugs me to not know and I miss her greatly. She picked out an outfit for me to wear at the next funeral I attended though, it happened to be hers. I wonder if she knew. She kept making remarks about what to do after she was gone after all.