The letter was sent, tucked away in Roxas' locker. With hands stuffed in monochrome hoodie pockets, Ven slunk away from his ex friend's domain, sure to hide from sight when he saw him coming by. He was with his crew, something Ven longed for but it was too late for that. He'd already messed up and he knew Roxas wouldn't be interested in giving him a second chance. No, not after Jack had the reigns and his own psychotic breakdowns drove the other away in the first place. It was foolish to think there'd be hope. For him and for anyone.
He seemed so full of life on his own. Was his own presence that soul sucking that such a close friend was infinitely better off without him? Whatever happened to always being there for him? Was it all a lie? He wasn't sure, but the thought got him moving. Ventus lifted his hood over his head, bowing it to further hide his visage. He didn't need to see himself be further scorned by such a "friend."
He'd probably think the note was obnoxious, just like his very presence and existence. That's how everyone viewed him though. It weighed its toll on him so heavily, he could barely breathe.
He kept moving. All the way out of the school.
Ven wanted to make it to secure spot so he wouldn't be interrupted, but the feeling of betrayal he got from his old friend brought the knife out of his pocket. There was a bit of hesitation if only thanks to the public eye, but he probably looked like some junkie or thug with his hood up.
It hurt so much though. He just wanted it to stop. He wanted the pain out. He wanted out.
Knife clenched tight in his hands, he brought it up high into the air, he didn't care if the sight garnered him unwanted attention. Attention is what he desired. Everyone at school evaded him so heavily. As if he was a disease. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand that nor Roxas doing the same to him. Why would he do that? He said they'd be together forever.
Even feeling the knife plunging into his stomach didn't stop his racing and paranoid thoughts. Roxas knew everything about him, he'd mark him to everyone he knew just how bad a person Ven was. Then he'd be alone forever.
He stabbed again, blood flowing off of the knife as he harshly ripped it out with a gasp to repeat the process over and over. Anything to get the thoughts to stop. They wouldn't though. No matter how much pain he was in nor how much blood he lost, he couldn't stop thinking about the friend he could no longer have.
Not even as he collapsed to the ground, pulse fading and breathing shallow. His trailing thoughts still fell on his lost friend, simply wondering why it all went so wrong.
"Dear, Roxas
I'm sorry for being a bad friend. I'm sorry for losing to my illness and taking it out on you. I'll make it stop though so you won't have to hurt anymore, and neither will anyone else.
Thank you for being my friend, Ventus."
Author's notes: I ended up meeting with the person that played Roxas for me again. It was only a split second before I left the chat because I panicked, but the sight of them made me sick and want to die so Vix had to drive us home today.
I really do wonder if I should just be stuck in a mental institution. Then I'd be away from everyone and everything. I wouldn't have to be hurt anymore.
