Disclaimer: I don't own, so don't sue.
Thanks to all my reviewers, you are the reason I update.
To Augustiflickan: No I haven't played the gum game. My friends did on a field trip. I was at the doctor that day. My friends told me about. The foreign exchange won. People felt sorry for the poor gum less German.
311. Just because I'm not a morning person, doesn't mean I can make the first years cry.
312. Not allowed to speak in Klingon.
313. I am not a ninja, and it is cheating.
314. Whatever is was I was thinking about during dinner last night, I'm not allowed to do it.
315. If murder is the question, yes is not the answer.
316. Not allowed to inflict stabbity death on anyone.
318. 8oz. cans of Mountain Dew are not "Caffeine Shots."
319. Not allowed to sing "Pray For You" by Jaron And The Long Road Love to the Slytherins. (I pray your brakes go out running down a hill/I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to/I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls/I pray you're flying high when your engine stalls/I pray all your dreams never come true/Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you)
320. Not allowed to talk to myself in hallways to scare people.
321. Not allowed to stay awake for two days as it causes me to hallucinate.
322. Not allowed to sing "I Could Kick Your Ass" by Justin Moore to Draco.
- even I could.
323. Not allowed to sing "My Revenge On The World" by Ayria when summoned to Umbridge's office.
- because it scares people, that's why.
324. Not allowed to release three German Sheppards that only listen to me into Umbridge's office.
325. Not allowed to replace Umbridge's kitten plates with toad plates.
326. Taking hostages during the tri- wizard cup achieves nothing.
327. Not allowed to play paintball in the school.
328. Not allowed to use the summoning charm on the owls so that they'll deliver the post faster.
329. I can not speak without pronouncing consonants.
330. Not allowed to change my cats name every ten seconds.
- because it makes it hard for anyone to follow what I'm talking about.
331. The prefects find it offensive when I call the "Over glorified hall monitors."
332. Not allowed to tell first years that Draco will give them candy if they hug him.
333. Cats, owls, toads, and rats are appropriate animals to bring to school. 8 ½ foot long red tailed boas are not.
334. If asked about the U.S military I am not to exclaim "Join the Army! Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them."
335. Just because knowledge is power, and power corrupts does not mean that the Ravenclaws are evil.
336. Geese are not to used to deliver the post.
-especially the mean ones that bite.
377. "To cause widespread chaos and panic through the liberal use of flying simians" is not a goal for the future.
378. I am to introduce myself as "Eris, Goddess of Chaos and Discord."
- nor am I allowed to give out cursed apples.
- nor am I to shout "Chaos!"
379. The Ravenclaws are not "The Geek Squad."
-nor are they "The Nerd Herd."
380. Not allowed to start rumors that cast doubt on Draco's true parentage
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