Disclaimer: I don't own, so don't sue.
Thanks to all my reviewers, you are the reason I update.
381. The squirrels are not trying to take over the world.
382. The goblins are not working to enslave us all and steal our gold.
383. The first years are not there for my amusement.
384. Not allowed to straighten people's ties in such a way that it appears that I'm choking them.
- no matter how much it was bothering me.
385. Not allowed to teach the house elves to sing "It's a Small World After All."
386. Not allowed to steal pillows in order to build a fort in the common room.
387. No, the house teams do not need cheerleaders.
388. The Chamber of Secrets is not full of mountains of candy, and I not to send first years looking for it.
389. The fourth floor girl's restroom flooding is not incitement to panic.
390. Not allowed to send howlers to the Daily Prophet.
391. Not allowed to wonder aloud if Peter Pettigrew did anything to Ron while he was sleeping.
392. Not allowed to Hermione that she's not as smart as she things she is.
- nor am I to tell any Ravenclaws this.
393. Not allowed to test things for the Weasely Twins.
- especially if they don't me what is what is first.
394. I am not give Snape the contact information of Doctors I think can "help" him.
395. Not allowed to sit in across the street from the Dursley's house, with a very large German Sheppard, and grin demonically every time one of them comes out of the house.
396. Not allowed to fill Draco's trunk with vinegar and baking soda.
397. Not allowed to use Harry as a human shield.
398. Not allowed to forge a letter to Draco's parents telling them that he got a muggleborn pregnant.
399. Not allowed to breed parakeets in my dorm.
400. Not allowed to hoard shiny things.
401. The fact that I have Viking ancestors does not authorize me to build a longboat.
-especially not in the Great Hall.
402. I am not a ninja, they can see me.
403. Not allowed to start a polar bear club.
404. The Great Hall is not Valhalla.
405. Not allowed to teach the house elves to conga through the Great Hall.
406. The Great Hall does not need a new roof and I am to stop it with the fundraisers.
407. The chicken dance is not appropriate for the Yule Ball.
408. I am not a superhero.
409. I do not have Turrets Syndrome.
410. Not allowed to put narwhals in the black lake.
411. Not allowed to teach first years "The Ferret Song."
412. No random screaming.
413. Not allowed to steal everybody's left shoe, then toss the shoes into the whomping willow.
414. Not allowed to make my own "whomping" plants.
-especially not if I put them in the Dursley's yard.
Review please.
