Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
A/N: This fiction is centered around Naruto being taught by the Sannin. Well, except Anko took Orochimaru's place since the man was banned from the Land of Fire. Jiraya and Tsunade raising Naruto together as a weird family, Jiraya finally got what he wants and doesn't need to peep on girls in the hot springs anymore because it's gross – especially when he peeps on underage girls. Anko was trained by Orochimaru to become as good as him, she's too young to be that strong but she's very powerful for a twenty-four years old woman.
Also Kung-fu fights, I'll do my best to write them – it's hard to write fights without pictures, especially acrobatic fights like Fog Hill of the Five Elements. I'm not a big fan of Naruto's flashy taijutsu – like Sasuke's fights, great for middle-school manga readers but not very effective in reality.
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Chapter 1: Naruto adopted ships the Sannin
Jiraya was visiting Konoha to report to the Hokage about his spying on the Akatsuki. He had just left the Hokage tower and wanted to use his time in Konoha to go look if the girls were still as good looking as they used to, but on his way to the hot springs, he saw people beating up a kid in a back alley. He couldn't stand seeing kids being beaten so he kicked the adults' away and picked the kid up.
He moved to a forested area and looked at the kid he had just dropped in front of him. What were the chances of him encountering Minato's copy just like that while he was on his way to satisfy his weird addiction? It was like his deceased student had just slapped him in the face with his responsibilities as the kid's godfather. The boy was five years old.
The kid was seriously injured, suffered malnutrition and hunger. The Sannin was wondering how he could survive in this condition. He brought him to the hospital, but when they realized who it was, the nurses told him to go to the waiters' room until a medic was available. He knew perfectly what their tone meant – no one would heal the kid anyway.
So he left the hospital and the village with Naruto. He made a poultice to help the kid recover, but he was not a medic ninja and he couldn't do more than that. He needed someone qualified who didn't have any grudge against the kid. And he knew one very fit for the task. He didn't want to reunite with Tsunade now, but his godson was in danger and she was the best person to help him.
His clone found her in a small town, in the casino. She had just been left without a coin, as he was used to with her. When she understood she was facing a clone, she wondered why Jiraya came looking for her and didn't come to her by himself.
- Are you afraid that I beat you up for last time, Jiraya? Why did you send a clone after me rather than coming by yourself?
- I've got an urgent matter that I need your help with. It's Minato's kid, he's in bad condition and the Konoha hospital refused to heal him. He seems to be completely famished and was taking a beating when I found him.
- Where's he? Shizune will heal him. You know I can't do it myself. Just lead us there fast.
- Follow me.
When they entered the hotel room the man had rented, Tsunade's eyes were filled with tears. The child on the bed had several broken bones, a head injury and was skinny as if he had not been fed for a whole week and this seemed like a regular thing.
- Oh my God! Move, I'll heal him. The hell with this fear, I can't leave him like that or I couldn't look at myself in a mirror!
She shoved Jiraya and started an internal scan. It was really bad, the kid's organs were in bad shape from repeated mistreatment and hunger. She started to heal him while asking Jiraya to go get the kid some soup so that he could drink something nutritive.
It took Tsunade two hours to heal him from the most threatening injuries and another one to heal minor injuries. She made him drink the soup while sleeping and nursed him. Jiraya couldn't keep it for himself, he spoke clearly.
- You look like a mother with her child. It suits you well, Tsunade-chan.
- How should I take it?
- It's a compliment. I haven't seen you like that since…
- Since Nawaki and Dan's deaths…I know.
- You look natural. Did you want to have children with Dan?
- …Of course I did…in a certain way I got one, right, Shizune-chan?
- Huh? Yes, Tsunade-hime! You're like a mother to me…
- Well, I never wanted to have children myself, but I ended up playing the father figure for most of my students, said Jiraya. Maybe I could take him in…
- With your work, you can't take care of a child all the time, Jiraya, you know that and that's why you didn't adopt him in the first place.
- Then what do you suggest, Hime?
- You want me to be the one to say it, huh? Very well. I'll adopt the child. But you won't be leaving him like the last time. You'll have to come back often to do your part. Not a father figure, this time. You'll be his adoptive father.
- …Okay.
- You'll come back every month for a whole week, or I'll look for you and swap your balls with your head!
- Okay! I've got it! I'll be a good father!
- Thank you. I know you never wanted to be one. If you don't flee…I might even…
- …You might even what?
- Screw it, we're too old to beat about the bush! I might even end up liking you!
- It took you this much time to realize I'm not so bad?
- Stop peeping on women in the baths and play good daddy and maybe you'll have a chance.
- You're asking too much! How could I stop doing research? You know I need it to write my books!
- Just take me as your research subject, I'm the best looking woman you can find anyway. But no peeping! I can be your muse, but I won't be your jerking material!
- Deal!
Shizune started to feel like she was at the wrong place at the wrong moment.
- Oh! Shizune-chan!
- Y-yes Tsunade-hime?
- If you tell it to anyone, you'll be in a world of suffering.
- I won't tell anyone! I swear!
- Fine, now go get yourself another room with the money we just gained.
- B-but…you lost everything, Tsunade-hime!
- HIS money.
- Why mine? I didn't do anything wrong!
- Because now you'll be a good daddy, Jiraya-kun. A good daddy doesn't let his family get broke, does he?
- Crap, what did I get myself into…
And that's how Jiraya's bank account started to lose zeroes. He managed to force Tsunade to promise to stay away from betting and money games. Not that she didn't do it when he wasn't around, but Shizune was the one to manage money and she started getting some self-confidence, so Jiraya faked not noticing. On top of that, on the rare occasions he scolded Tsunade, she abused her seduction abilities to make him drop the topic. Not that Jiraya was hard to seduce…
