(Now with better editing!)
Bree is mine. The list is mine. The songs and the other characters are not.
127. "The Night Santa Went Crazy" is not an appropriate Christmas carol.
198. Not allowed to sit in Dumbledore's lap and read him my Christmas list.
- even if he finds it amusing.
304. "Santa Claus is Thumbing to Town" by Relient K is not an appropriate Christmas Carol.
- especially not in October.
407. The chicken dance is not appropriate for the Yule Ball.
425. Not allowed to scream "My eyes! For the love of God somebody rip them out!" when I see Ron in his formal robes.
Cedric was walking down the hall on the way to class when he heard a voice singing softly.
"Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys,
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys,
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to deathHad a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath,
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo,
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye," the next line was exclaimed "Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"
Cedric turned a corner and saw who was singing. It was a Gryffindor third year. Bree, he believed her name was. She didn't notice him and kept singing her, rather demented, song, frightening the first years as they passed by.
"The night Santa went crazyThe night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw dealSomething finally must have snapped in his brain"
She was grinning now."Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausageHe got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And… oh hi Cedric." she had finally noticed the Hufflepuff seeker.
"Hey um… Bree right?" Cedric inquired, deliberately avoiding the subject of the strange song the girl had been singing.
"Yep!" she exclaimed brightly, before frowning and tilting her head to the side.
"You know you wouldn't have won that last game if the dementors hadn't showed up." she commented. Cedric winced, he already felt guilty for not having noticed that Harry had fallen off his broom. "Well, we can't know for sure what would have happened."
"I suppose, but I still say Harry would have kicked your ass." Bree stated with a grin.
"We'll see at the next game." Cedric assured.
"I guess we will. Well time to get to class." Bree turned on her heel and walked away.
Cedric looked at watch. "I'm five minutes late!" he exclaimed. To bad that his class was potions, looks like Hufflepuff lost some house points that day.
Dumbledore was sitting at his desk in his office, when a student walked in. It was Bree Smith. She was carrying a piece of paper. She walked over and sat down in the headmasters lap, then she began reading off a list to the bemused man.
When she was done reading Dumbledore escorted the girl out of his office promising that he would see what he could do.
"What was that about?" asked Professor McGonagall, who had been about to enter the office.
"Ah, Miss Smith was just reading me her Christmas list." the Headmaster answered.
McGonagall sighed a shook her head. "Honestly, that girl."
A few days later it was Christmas. Bree had gotten a books, jewelry, candy, and, her favorite gift, pajamas from various family and friends, but still had yet to receive what had been on her list to Dumbledore. At dinner that evening Bree smiled when the food appeared. Sitting in front of her were several plates of Chinese food.
Hermione was on the way to the library when she heard someone singing.
"'Twas the night before ChristmasAnd up at the North Pole
Everybody's going crazyEverything's out of controlThe toy shop is on fire The toys melting on the shelves
And you can hear Mrs. Claus screaming"I warned you; never trust those elves!"
She turned the corner and found Bree singing."Unless something drastic happens fast
We'll say hello to the ghost of Christmas past
Because Rudolph's puking balls of hollyAnd Old Saint Nick ain't all that jolly
And the sleigh's in the shop 'cause it's broken down
But Christmas won't stop" "Bree what are you doing!" Hermione exclaimed, interrupting the chorus.
"Why getting into the Holiday spirit of course." the blond responded happily.
"It's October." Hermione stated dryly.
"And J.C Penny's already has Christmas decorations up. Now where was I… Ah yes. Very much to his disliking Santa spent all night hitchhiking
With a sign that reads, "Ho Ho! Slow down!"Santa Claus is thumbing to town" Bree turned and walked away as she continued to sing.
Hermione sighed in exasperation.
"Are you going to the Yule Ball?" Lavender asked Bree.
"I can only do one dance, and I'm pretty sure McGonagall would kill me if I did it." Bree answered with a sigh.
"It can't be that bad." Lavender insisted.
Bree sighed, stood up, and proceeded to do the chicken dance. When she was done she looked expectantly at lavender.
"You're right. It was that bad." Lavender said in shock.
"Told you." Bree responded as she sat back down.
Ron had just walked down the stairs into the common room. He was wearing his dress robes and was on the way to the Yule Ball. "Come on. It won't be that bad." Harry assured is red haired friend.
"Easy for you to say, you're not the one wearing ruffles." Ron growled back.
"My eyes! For the love of God somebody rip them out!" came an exclamation from nearby. The two boys turned and found Bree standing by the fire place. One arm was covering her eyes, while the other flailed about in an attempt to shoo Ron away. Ron's face went red and turned and went back to his dorm. Harry sighed and looked over at Bree, who had now uncover her face and was bent over laughing.
"Was that really necessary?" he asked her.
Bree didn't answered right away. Finally, when she had calmed down enough she said "Sorry, but it looked like he'd been attacked by a blind seamstress."
If I ever turn this into a proper story, I will find a way to keep Cedric alive.
Review please!
