I don't own, so don't sue.


Thanks to all my reviewers, you are the reason I update.

Had to reupload this, for some reason the words "to Ron" didn't load on rule 497.


Some more reviewer rules.

From peltra 1. Not allowed to speak parseltongue in potion class just because Snape is one letter away from 'snake'.

2. Not allowed to douse the minister of magic in chocolate and call him 'chocolate fudge'.

-no matter how many students are cheering

-not allowed to douse the minister of magic in anything else either.

- no dousing on anyone.

3. Not allowed to call Death Eaters 'fangirls of Voldie!'

4. Not allowed to kick Voldemort in the shins.

-not allowed to kick anyone, actually.

5. Not allowed to 'accidentally' turn Voldemort into a canary, and then say "Whoops! My wand slipped!"

6. Not allowed to introduce Voldemort to Muggle guns.

- or any other weapons.

7. Do not give Bellatrix any permission to f**k Lord Voldemort


From Nobody Understands

1.) No matter how much it amuses me, I'm not allowed to forge love letters to Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter

2.) I'm not allowed to stalk Colin Creevy and see how he likes it

3.) Hitting Professer Umbridge over to head with a house elf is never, EVER, acceptable.

4.) Not allowed to dress like Jigsaw and tell the first years that "I would like to play a game."


My rules

474. Not allowed to make a list of things I plan to do to "My moron neighbor who runs his wood chipper while people are trying to sleep" once I come of age.

475. Not allowed to build any of Leonardo De Vinci's flying machines.

- or war machines.

- No, they won't contribute to the fight against Voldemart.

476. If someone wakes me before noon on a weekend, not allowed to respond with "Is the school on fire?", "Are Death Eaters attacking?", "Has the Zombie apocalypse begun?", "Is it time to give the first years wedgies?", or "Go away or I'll hex you so bad you'll be in the hospital wing for life!"

477. Not allowed to give the first years wedgies.

478. Gringotts is not "The Labyrinth."

479. Not allowed to sing "Weasel Stomping Day" by Weird Al Yankovic when Draco is around.

480. Not allowed to organize a coup against the Minister.

481. The Minister is not a Zombie.

482. The Minister is not a robot.

483. The Minister has not been replaced by an alien.

484. Not allowed to send the Minister nuts so I can call him "Fudge with Walnuts."

485. Not allowed to dunk people's heads in toilets.

486. Bribing first years to hug Percy Weasely is wrong.

487. Percy does not need a hug.

- nor does he need to "get laid."

488. Not allowed to ask any Weasely "Is it true that your older brother likes dragons more than women?"

489. Charlie Weasely has nothing to do with "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

490. Not allowed to forge letters to Draco's parents saying that he has eloped with Ginny Weasely.

- nor am I to forge letters to Ginny's parents saying the same.

491. Not allowed to sing the Batman theme song when Snape walks by.

492. Seamus Finnegan is not hiding gold under his bed.

- or in his pants.

493. Not allowed to trap Ron in a closet with Draco in order to see who will come out alive.

- not allowed to sell tickets to the above.

494. Not allowed to sing "The itsy bitsy spider crawled up Ron Weasely's robes…"

495. Not allowed to say "My eyes feel like they are going to explode" near Madam Pomfrey, no matter how much my head hurts. She will take me seriously.

496. Not allowed to say "Beam me up, Scotty" before apparataing.

497. Not allowed to sing "You're Dead to Me" by Dierks Bently to Ron.

- even if he his being a prat.

498. Not allowed to dump vats of melted chocolate on dementors in order to see if it will kill them.

- even if Professor Lupin thought it would work.

499. I am not a boggart animagus.

500. Not allowed to call Dumbledore a "Fruit Loop."

501. The penguins are not slowly stealing our sanity.


I've been working on making this a full story, but I'm hung up on the meeting on the train. I just can't get it to flow right. Any suggestions?