I don't own, so don't sue.


Thanks to all my reviewers, you are the reason I update.


531. Not allowed to have a parakeet perch on my middle finger so that I can literally give people "The Bird."

532. Not allowed to play "catch" with the whomping willow.

533. I cannot summon the Legions of Hell and I am to stop threatening the Dursley's with them.

534. Not allowed to tell Draco "I may or may not have put a bomb in your kidney while you were asleep. Do you really want to risk it?"

535. The Weasley twins do not have wonder twin powers.

- nor do the Patil twins.

536. Not allowed to refer to Hufflepuffs as "Meat Shields."

537. We do not call Ron "The place where brain cells go to die."

538. The Ministry is not "Where logic goes to die."

539. When confronted by Voldemort it is unwise to stick my fingers in my ears and say "La la la. I'm not listening to the snake pedophile."

540. Not allowed to dress mannequins in the school uniform, place them in high traffic areas around the school, then have long conversations with them.

541. Not allowed to T.P the Slytherin common room.

- nor am I to T.P the Slytherins.

542. Not allowed to say "You're violating my bubble" to anyone.

543. Not allowed to say "Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them" and then stare pointedly at Draco.

544. Not allowed to give the muggle studies students inaccurate information.

545. Not allowed to ask the arithmancy students to answer long, complicated math problems that have made up numbers in them.

546. Not allowed to ask purebloods "If your parents got divorced would they still be your cousins?"

- not allowed to gape when someone answers "Yes."

547. Not allowed to take my partner hostage in order to get out of potions early.

548. Not allowed to run a moonshine distillery.

549. Not allowed to tell first years about the muggle country "Imaginationland" and its capital city "LSD."

550. Not allowed to leave cans of tuna on Professor McGonagall's desk.


Review please!