A/N: Here we go, day 5! Oh man, these pieces are wiping me out and cutting into my bed time. lol. At the same time, there is something thrilling forcing yourself to finish something in a specific amount of time. Please, please remember that there is absolutely no beta and I type this out one time and then post. So there are many errors, but I'll come back at a later time and make corrections!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for reviewing my work. I can't say it enough, it truly makes my day.
When Dreams are Realities
Dendy Week 2022
Day 5
"You will do as I say"
Mamoru's fingers were magic. They weaved desire through every fiber of her being. He didn't even need to touch her most intimate places. Just the brush of his hand against her upper arm, his stroke along her jaw, it erased all other intentions and plans. All she wanted was this, more of this; in fact, she wanted more than just this.
As their tongues danced she led him to the couch, where she then pushed him down gruffly. The sheer force of her push caused him to bounce a couple of times. It was only brief however, as she a tiger on its prey.
Straddling him she brushed her fingers through his hair, then once again, she pounced on his lips- fast, hard; he met her halfway. She could feel his arousal on her core and it excited her even more. His hands were squeezing her thighs, and she cursed herself for deciding to wear jeans. Irritated by their lack of skin to skin contact, she grabbed the hem of his shirt. But before she could undress him he gripped her hands and pulled away from her.
She growled and tried to kiss him. Again, he evaded her lips once.
"Mamoru!"
She knew he wanted her, she could feel it pressing, straining for attention. She grinded her hips; he groaned.
"God I want you," he said between huffs. "If I could, I'd rip your clothes off right now and take you."
"Then take me!"
"Don't tempt me." He took a shaky breath in and then out, attempting to slow his racing heart.
"Why not?" She humphed angrily.
"Because I love you." Usagi furrowed her eyebrows. "Our first time can't be like this. I don't want to fuck you. I want us to make love."
His words pushed her into a freezing lake. He just admitted they'd never had sex before. And of course they hadn't because he wasn't her fiancé, and in her heat she'd forgotten.
However, it was like Endo read her mind, defending himself before she could confront him about it all. "It sounds stupid, I know we've had sex before…but it's different. You don't remember, so for you…this you right now…it'd be our first time. And I want you to love me."
Once again his words brought another wave of emotion. This one was overwhelming. She felt loved, so loved that it pulled a sob from her throat, and caused her to cry. Why?
Mamoru held her to him, stroking her hair as she cried into his shoulder. At some point she started chanting between sobs, repeating "I'm going crazy." Yet the man "who was not her fiancé but maybe was her fiancé" was telling her everything would be okay. The thought she had just before she fell into a deep sleep was 'maybe it's real.'
When Usagi woke, she found herself in bed like always, alone. She was disappointed. Although she knew Mamoru slept in the guest room (because he didn't want to make her uncomfortable), she thought after what had happened he'd want to sleep beside her.
She sighed, why did she want him to stay anyway? He wasn't her fiancé…right? She had proof the picture and the lipstick.
But if he just wanted her, then why did he stop? If that's all he wanted wouldn't he have just taken her? In the moment she was, embarrassingly, more than willing. In fact, she was the driving force of the whole thing. But then, he didn't. So…why? Unless it was... she shook her head, denying the rest of the thought. She had the picture. She had the lipstick. It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense!
She felt lost. Lost and so very confused.
When Mamoru came home that night, he was smiling. It made her heart do a little twirl.
"What're you so happy about?" she asked. He shrugged, his grin still in place. His hair moved slightly and his head tilted a little, giving him a boyish charm. Usagi couldn't help but smile back. "Don't know, huh?" she rose an eyebrow challengingly.
He shrugged again.
"Fine," she humphed, feigning anger. "I'm tired anyway." She folded her arms in front of her chest, but didn't move. She watched as his navy eyes darted away, and a slight blush paint his cheeks.
"You kissed me yesterday." The way he said it sounded so juvenilely proud, as if it was the first time he'd ever been kissed. She rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a smile.
"Aaannd?" She responded just as immaturely. His attitude was rubbing off on her.
"Aannndd" he echoed. "I liked it. I thought about it all day."
"Whatever." Usagi laughed. "That is such a lie." She felt like she was in high school again.
"Did you think about me?" He rocked on his feet, and the whole grinning and silly behavior made butterflies come alive. They fluttered in her stomach, tickling her heart.
"No," she lied, turning away. "Maybe."
When she didn't hear Mamoru respond she turned back around, partly afraid he'd walked away. But he hadn't. His eyes were on her, the light dancing in his eyes.
"I love you Usako."
Endo told her he loved her daily. It wasn't unusual for him to say it. Normally she'd nod her head or give an awkward smile before looking away. This time however, she didn't do either. She just looked back at him, her mouth parting to say something. But what do you say when someone tells you they love you?
"I know," she responded, her voice husky and sincere.
From an open door, a short blue-haired woman called for Usagi. The blonde, who was sitting, stood.
"Good morning Mizuno-sensei."
Bowing politely, the doctor ushered Usagi into her office. Having visited for two weeks, the blonde already knew where to go. She made herself comfortable on the couch while Mizuno put everything together.
"So," the doctor had the file open, "Tell me Usagi-san, how have you been this week?"
"I've been good."
"How have you been feeling?" Ami watched her patient search for the answer.
"Um…better, I think."
"Well that's progress."
"Do you still feel like your life isn't real?"
"I…" Usagi paused.
A few weeks after her kiss with Mamoru, Usagi sought out a therapist. She had so many conflicting thoughts and feelings; she needed to talk to someone; sort it all out. Searching the internet she found a therapist, Ami Mizuno, and made an appointment.
She'd felt safe with Ami; comfortable, until their last session when her doctor brought up medication. She hadn't said Usagi should take any, but it was implied in the way she said it.
"If I said yes.. are you...will you make me take medication?"
Ami sighed, putting down her file.
"Usagi-san I can't make you take medication. I can suggest it, but I would never force a patient to take something they don't want."
"Are you," Usagi gulped, "suggesting it?" Ami puckered her lips. Usagi could see that her doctor was searching for the proper way to address the situation. "You think I'm delusional, don't you?"
"No, I don't think you're delusional. I think that you went through some type of trauma and it has led to your current condition."
"Condition?"
"Your belief. A belief that your fiancé is not actually your fiancé and has gotten everyone in your life to lie about the past three years."
Well when the doctor said it, it did sound insane.
"The more we talk, the more I can see how you're struggling. And to cope with that your mind is trying to push all your negative feelings onto your fiancé and turn him into a villain of an elaborate story. But now that you've started to remember that you love him, the 'reality' that you thought was 'true' is coming apart. I think medication can help your brain further separate these things. I know it sounds scary, but I'd really like you to think about it."
Now that you've started to remember that you love him.
That's what her doctor had said. Did she love him? Just because she wanted to spend time with him or see him didn't mean she loved him; just because she sometimes laughed with him or stared at him didn't mean she loved him; just because her heart ached when he wasn't around or her heart beat wildly when he was there didn't mean she loved him…right?
They hadn't even kissed again. It was just that one time. So there was absolutely no way she loved him. Her doctor was wrong.
Six days after declaring her doctor was wrong she "started to remember", Usagi affirmed her doctor was wrong; she did not remember anything about her three year relationship with Endo Mamoru Chiba. Not. One. Thing. Six days after declaring her doctor was wrong that she "loved him", Usagi realized Ami was right.
It had been the most amazing day of her life. It was like a dream, truly. The breakfast in bed, the circus, the dinner, the dancing, all of it: perfect. She had never been so happy and she told him so.
"Mamo-chan," she'd started calling him that a few days after their kiss, "Mamo-chan, I've never been happier then I am right now."
"If you do as I say, I promise I can make you even happier," he grinned. "Close your eyes," he whispered. Gently he led her to the bedroom. Placing his face on her shoulder he said, "Open your eyes."
She gasped. It was a dream. Somehow, Mamoru had the walls painted and designed so that one side looked like Paris at night and the other Venice. The paint seemed to glow off the walls, and the lights on the cities twinkled. Some of the décor were tangible pieces that moved to make the city seem alive.
She wept, truly wept, wept because she really was happy.
"Usako? You don't like it?" he asked nervously. His tone laced in worry and fear.
"No." she shook her head. "I love it." She turned to embrace him.
"I love you Usako," he nuzzled the crown of her head, "more than anything and everyone."
She nodded head and pulled away to look into his eyes.
"I love you too, Mamo-chan."
Only two more days! I hope you liked this, please don't forget to review!
