1. Before and after
Despite the hardships, the constant struggles, she had figured out her future. Whenever she looked up at the sky, she saw herself with a husband, a child, a dog and a little house they'd own in her home town. A family of her own… that was an objective that held her together and help her keep on fighting.
Her friend, who expected a lot more out of life, had always snickered at the lack of passion in Hinata's dreams. Passion… on one hand, the dark-haired young woman thought she didn't need that. She just wanted a peaceful life, a safe haven. On the other, she doubted she could ever experiment something like that.
Then he entered the picture.
He was a friend of a friend who helped her get a job at a bakery.
Back then, his eyes, his impassive stare and his dark leather jacket had had her intimidated and dazzled. She had hold her ground but by the end of the meetup, her knees had been weak, her heart thundering. Her friend had told her she wasn't his first victim and probably wouldn't be the last.
Her mind wouldn't stop summoning him though. He was on her mind when she'd work, when she'd cook, when she'd think she saw him on the street… when she thought of inviting him to thank him over diner. For a whole week, she had doubted her ability to go through with it. However, her feeling of gratitude put an end to the inner debate for her job had bought her more than enough satisfaction.
On the day of the dinner, he'd surprised her more than once.
He'd surprised her by being there before her. He'd surprised her by the effect he still had on her. Like the first time, her blood pressure skyrocketed, her knees wobbled and she'd been throughout dazzled. She'd held her breath as she approached him, observed as he passed his fingers through his hair and then suddenly looked up at her, never letting go of her. He'd surprised her when he'd paid particular attention to what she said, when he leaned a bit closer to hear her, when he didn't move away or made up an excuse like she did whenever they brushed skin accidentally. He surprised her when he tagged along all the way to her house and asked for a real date then.
She had tried to resist the pull but she never stood a chance.
Sasuke Hatake was a force of nature that devastated everything in her life, destroyed everything and rebuilt anew. He opened her eyes on things she realized she didn't know until then.
Attraction wasn't that little crush she had had in high school. She had liked that boy back then, daydreaming about them holding hands and kissing. It almost looked petty then. Whatever she felt for Sasuke was something else, intoxicating, dangerous even. She felt lightheaded whenever she thought of him. Innocent kisses and holding hands didn't felt good enough and despite chastising herself, sharing it with her friend so they could laugh it off and make her forget, nothing worked. Finally, she became silly. She giggled to herself, imagined perfect conversations with him and went to his dojo whenever she could to bring him food. She even started wearing dresses and lipstick to appear more feminine. Thankfully, he didn't beat around the bush for she didn't know how she'd have hold onto her sanity at that point.
Love… It wasn't those purple proses or corny words she had read about; it was much more wholesome. Love was to take care of the other, even when they're so sick they couldn't stop vomiting. Love was to trust the other with your deepest fears and your old wounds as they held onto you while you cried your heart out. Love was to make love until the only word you knew and could spell, was theirs. Love was to do silly stuffs like singing to corny songs on a Sunday afternoon to tease them yet still meaning it, or getting matching tattoos of yin and yang… Love was to feel safe with the other.
Happiness… she had never dared to think about that. It had been a concept so abstract, so out of her reach she didn't bother hoping for it. She'd known deep down that her life was empty, everything was grey but she'd been ready to accept it -push through days, just existing. He showed that life was more than that and just like that, everything became different. Happiness was about being elated to see another day, being grateful for each and every minute you were alive, for everything in your life. It was about standing tall in the face of hardships and take the blows with a smile. Everything tasted better, every moment felt magical with him at her side.
Sasuke had brought love and happiness to a girl like her who had never known what love was, had a limited concept of family, always felt unlucky and thought she deserved nothing. She had been a mistake that broke up her parents, and after growing up with her mother and step father she had been left emotionally and mentally drained… but now, everything was different.
A family of her own… this time she looked forward to it with joy and hope rather than desperation and doubt.
Waking up an hour ago, she has been staring at his sleeping face. Her pale eyes were wide awake when the sun rose, slowly wrapping him in a golden halo. It looked like a picture straight out of a magazine. He looked so gorgeous under the morning light, wrapped in those white sheets, that she couldn't stop staring. Every morning, she admired him, silent with amazement, wondering if she would ever get used to it, to him. She doubted that.
There was a gentle warmth pouring from him to her, enveloping her in a cozy embrace.
Again, he was the one to give by taking her away to a recluse place for summer, where they had been staying for two whole months away from everyone and everything. As expected of country side, the nature was beautiful. The azure sky had amazing sun rising and breathtaking sun setting. The landscape was full of vast, colorful fields of wild flowers and dusty roads reminding her of those old films full of nostalgia and languor.
There, they had done so much and she discovered much more about that mysterious man that meant the world to her –he loved journeys and taking strolls a lot. They discovered so many places, all of which were amazing beyond words.
She watched with amazement when he squeezed his eyes and massaged them. He frowned while running fingers through his unruly hair and then looked down. Their eyes met, his dark grey ones shining. His face softened, and the infinitesimal of smiles stretched his lips.
"What are you doing Hinata?" he asked, his seductive dark voice rough from sleep.
His husky and deep voice was the most beautiful of all sounds, keeping her heart beating like crazy whenever it melted in her ears like honey on tongue. She would always try to make him talk as much as possible.
She smiled shily.
"I'm contemplating you" she whispered.
"That's creepy"
He smiled wider. She giggled.
"That's romantic"
"Maybe in your head"
"Meanie!" she said and jumped on him.
The sun was shining past the lacy yellowed curtains and through the wide windows, and filled the room with a layer of buttery sunshine. The warm gilded air washed their room with a haze of golden light that turned the room into a panel of bright halo of colors looking like it came out a fairy tale -the cream-colored walls glowed with light, the few furniture gleamed deep red like wine, while the floor was a pool of light. The balmy, soft warmth of everyday poured into the room, heavy with velvety smells of wild flowers and the gentle breeze carrying away birds' plaintive and strident songs.
In the middle of that shiny panel of glowing colors, Sasuke lied there like something out of a dream. Summer had always been her favorite time of all, but having Sasuke bathed in the sunlight reflecting on his creamy skin, turning his eyes into a glowing grey and hair shining dark blue was something out of heaven.
Sasuke looked shocked, his eyes exaggeratedly opened and his soft lips slightly parted. Hinata bit her lips, trying to tame her maniac smile.
"Did you call me meanie?"
"Of course, Sasuke-kun! You're a meanie" she pouted and puffed her cheeks.
"Let me show you just how mean I can get"
"Sasuke-kun!"
They wrestled on the bed. She wouldn't stop laughing. He tickled her everywhere, asking for her apologies but she denied him. His hands were everywhere, waking slowly her nerves' ending. She curled up, and then his lips replaced his hands. Her neck, her back, her arms, her sides, his lips reached everywhere and her laugh wouldn't stop echoing, rolling from her body trembling from love and joy.
He poured a rain of pecks on her lips and then gently kissed her long and hard. Her mind didn't get back on track until she went from being underneath him to sitting in his lap. They resumed kissing. Their bodies were flushed tight, yet it didn't feel enough, they weren't close enough, they couldn't get enough, not matter how hard Sasuke would close his big arms around her, no matter how much desperately her frail arms would cling to him.
"If only we could get you smaller…"
"Why?"
"I could put you in my pocket and take you everywhere"
"I would love that"
"You really look like a cute little doll" he said and pinched her cheek again.
As she was now, it didn't matter anymore that she was so different from others; it didn't matter anymore that she had to fight inner demons daily; it didn't matter anymore that her parents didn't care that much; it didn't matter anymore that she was far from perfect. Nothing mattered but him and their future together.
"We're going back tonight so we'd better pack up now"
"Yes, but let's packing later…" she whispered as she hugged him tight. She wanted to stay so bad, to protect the little bubble they created there.
"What are you thinking about?" He said as he caressed her hair.
"I want to take photos"
"I'm not talking about that." He stopped the tender gesture and pulled back to look at her, "you sounded sad… you look sad too."
"It's just… It's just that the best of all summers has just ended"
"We're going to have others"
"You never know…"
"You might try and run away?"
"As if I could" she huffed and puffed her cheeks again to make him smile.
"You might" he smiled and pinched her cheeks "that's why we should marry as soon as we get back"
Her chest swelled again, a lump forming at the base of her neck. She wondered how many emotions her body would take before giving out.
Her eyes stung. Soon enough, tears slid down her hot cheeks. She smiled through her blurry vision and hiccups, and caressed his face. The first time he proposed to her, she'd cried the whole afternoon. He never asked questions. He just made love to her and cradled her to sleep.
"I see that we've got projects"
"Apparently"
"Then we'll save for your dojo"
"I think opening a restaurant would be best"
"But you don't know anything about it"
"I've got the best of teachers here"
"But Sasuke-kun you love-"
"Not buts. We open the restaurant first. You're studying for it anyway. But first, we need to get out of our current place because not only that dickhead-"
"S-S-Sasuke-kun! No bad words"
"Ah, such a softie" he chuckled, and pinched her cheek; she lightly slapped his bicep "that doesn't change the fact that we're going to get out of that hole. The rent went up out of nowhere. After that, we'll start saving properly"
"And later, we'll get our real home."
"And we'll create a football team –my favorite part of the plan"
"Of course, it is" she said with amusement.
He kissed her
"And we'll travel around the world"
"I'd love that"
"And take strolls on beautiful beaches, and country sides… and fields of wild flowers"
"Fields of wild flowers…"
"Where will we raise our children?"
"Towns are trash these days. It's either the periphery of town or the country side"
"I hope our children will take after you…" she blushed while peering through her lashes.
"I hope to see lots of cute little Hinata blushing and running clumsily around"
They laughed at the weird picture.
"Then I hope to get little mischievous Sasuke-kun to pull pranks on their father for having teased me so much in the past."
"No way. That would be troublesome. Naruto is enough"
"I hope to meet him soon"
"You will. He'll get there three weeks from now"
"Your favorite person ever"
"I've never said that"
"I'm happy for you" she giggled at his grimace.
They kissed again, longer this time. Sasuke put her back underneath him, kissing her as hard as he could.
"About you loving summer -it's not summer's effect. It's just me"
"I'm not so sure, Sasuke-kun"
He laughed, and she stared again, her heart pumping like crazy.
"You're becoming more and more daring. You need some reminder"
He would never know how much he meant for her because all the 'I love you' in the world wouldn't be enough, not even the millions of words in the dictionary. She just hoped he'd realized it through her acts and eyes.
"I love you so much Sasuke-kun"
"…Thank you"
The ringing phone went ignored as they let their passion consume their being to ashes. No one would steal their time away…
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hinata brushed all of her hair behind her head and then tied it into a low ponytail. In such dark events, any obvious make-up would not only appear as vulgar, but people would eye her –she hated attention. As usual, some eyeliner and pale peach lipstick made it up.
Giving one last look over at her stern expression, somber yet elegant make-up and black long dress, she put on dark stilettos. Once done, she went out of her sumptuous room and down the large and everlasting stairs to the big and splendid living room. There were ten men all in black, looking back at her.
One of them moved toward her and gave her a friendly elbow.
"Mrs. Uchiha, the car is ready. People already arrived at the funeral. They all are waiting for you"
"Thank you, Obito-san" she politely said with a cool voice "let's move on"
"How are you feeling? Do you need anything Hinata-San?" Obito whispered discreetly from their escort.
"No, I do not need anything. All I want is for this day to end" she flatly answered
…
It was a fresh evening and the town was vibrant with live and colors from lampposts, building and establishments. Tokyo always felt like the whole country was out, crawling through the streets, unafraid of the tall glowing modern buildings, some carried away by scents from restaurants, some attracted by the multitude of entertainment the city had to offer, most busy with their lives.
Quitting the crowd-filled streets, a handsome young man walked through a famous restaurant's doors. In no time, gazes and whispers followed him. But as always, he didn't care about the world surrounding him. It was better and less toxic in his personal world.
He checked his leather wristwatch and noticed with vague validation that he was a bit in advance. Women usually preferred to come late to dates, but it didn't matter. More time for preparation was always good. To his mild surprise though, his date was already there.
Missing the way her jade eyes twinkled and how she quickly checked out her appearance and stance, he went straight to occupy the opposite seat.
"You came early"
"Oh, I, uh, I wasn't that far away" she said pulling on her pale green dress, breathing heavily and being unaware of the envious stares boring holes in her head "anyway, it didn't bother me to have time for myself. What about you Sasuke-kun?" she asked, relinquishing on the way his name never failed to make her shudder.
"I always come earlier, whatever the occasion is" he coolly said.
"That's true" she quickly said, inspired by the word 'dates'
"So, how are you Sakura?" he asked
"Fine, I'm fine. And you Sasuke-kun?" she excitedly asked
"Fine. Let's check out the menu"
"Of course!"
…..
