Disclaimer: Bree and the rules are mine. The rest is not.


It was November. Everyone in the school was excited because the Quidditch season had begun. The night before Gryffindor's first game of the season Bree was sitting in the common room reading, when Harry came in and immediately went over to talk to Ron and Hermione. Bree didn't pay attention until she heard the words "three headed dog."

"What three headed dog?" she asked the trio.

"Er… the one on the third floor." said Ron.

"Why is it in the school?" Bree asked in an exasperated tone.

"We think it's guarding something." explained Hermione.

"So what you're saying is, there is something in the school that is worthy of being protected by Cerberus, in a school full of children?" Bree deadpanned.

The trio nodded.

The blond sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in order to stave off the oncoming headache. "Well Dumbledore's name does have the word dumb in it, so there's gotta be an explanation in there somewhere." she said before going up to her dorm, leaving the Harry, Ron, and Hermione to return to their previous conversation.


117. I am not to point out that Dumbledore's name has the word dumb in it.


The next day at the Quidditch pitch, Bree was sitting near Lee Jordan. He was the commentator for the match so she figured he would have the best view of the game. Bree found his commentary to be rather amusing.

"And the Quaffle is taken immediately by Angelina Johnson of Gryffindor — what an excellent Chaser that girl is, and rather attractive, too…"

Unfortunately Professor McGonagall didn't agree with Bree's opinion.

"JORDAN!"

"Sorry, Professor."

"And she's really belting along up there, a neat pass to Alicia Spinnet, a good find of Oliver Wood's, last year only a reserve — back to Johnson and — no, the Slytherins have taken the Quaffle, Slytherin Captain Marcus Flint gains the Quaffle and off he goes — Flint flying like an eagle up there — he's going to sc— no, stopped by an excellent move by Gryffindor Keeper Wood and the Gryffindors take the Quaffle — that's Chaser Katie Bell of Gryffindor there, nice dive around Flint, off up the field and — OUCH — that must have hurt, hit in the back of the head by a Bludger — Quaffle taken by the Slytherins — that's Adrian Pucey speeding off toward the goal posts, but he's blocked by a second Bludger — sent his way by Fred or George Weasley, can't tell which — nice play by the Gryffindor Beater, anyway, and Johnson back in possession of the Quaffle, a clear field ahead and off she goes — she's really flying — dodges a speeding Bludger — the goal posts are ahead — come on, now, Angelina — Keeper Bletchley dives — misses — GRYFFINDORS SCORE!"

Cheers rang out from the Gryffindor students. Boos and moans came from the Slytherins.

"Slytherin in possession," Lee Jordan was saying, "Chaser Pucey ducks two Bludgers, two Weasleys, and Chaser Bell, and speeds toward the — wait a moment — was that the Snitch?"

A murmur ran through the crowd as Adrian Pucey dropped the Quaffle, too busy looking over his shoulder at the flash of gold that had passed his left ear.

Harry and the Slytherin seeker went diving for the snitch. Harry had sped forward and was about to catch it when - WHAM- Marcus Flint blocked Harry, sending the small Gryffindor spinning.

"Foul!" screamed the Gryffindors.

Madam Hooch spoke angrily to Flint and then ordered a free shot at the goal posts for Gryffindor. But in all the confusion, of course, the Golden Snitch had disappeared from sight again.

Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.

"So … after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating"

"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.

"I mean, after that open and revolting foul…"

"Jordan, I'm warning you—"

"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor, taken by Spinnet, who puts it away, no trouble, and we continue play, Gryffindor still in possession."

As the game continued to play out Bree kept her eyes fixed on Harry, something was going wrong with his broom. It reminded her and bit of the bull riding she had seen once at a rodeo. After she decided that broom probably shouldn't be doing that, she began to tap Lee on the shoulder. She was ignored, and since no one else seemed to have noticed the trouble Harry was having, Bree grabbed the magically charmed megaphone from him and shouted, "Hey Gryffindor, somethings wrong with your seekers broom! You should probably do something before you have to replace him!" This caused everyone to look up at Harry and see that, yes, there was definitely something wrong with the seekers broom.

The whole crowd was on its feet, watching, terrified, as the Weasleys flew up to try and pull Harry safely onto one of their brooms, but it was no good – every time they got near him, the broom would jump higher still. They dropped lower and circled beneath him, obviously hoping to catch him if he fell.

After a few minutes, the broom stopped shaking and Harry was speeding toward the ground when the crowd saw him clap his hand to his mouth as though he was about to be sick, he hit the field on all fours, coughed, and something gold fell into his hand.

I've got the Snitch!" he shouted, waving it above his head, and the game ended in complete confusion. "He didn't catch it, he nearly swallowed it," Flint was still howling twenty minutes later, but it made no difference Harry hadn't broken any rules and Lee Jordan was still happily shouting the results — Gryffindor had won by one hundred and seventy points to sixty.

The Gryffindor students spent the evening partying in celebration. The Slytherin students spent the evening moping and complaining about how unfair it all was.


McGonagall was at her wits end. As if the Weasley twins weren't bad enough, now there was Bree Smith to deal with. She had told the girl to stop setting things of fire in potions in order to get out of class early. The American had responded by setting things on fire in potions for fun.


Rule 160. Not allowed to set things on fire in potions class "just for the hell of it."


Once she was forbidden from doing that, Bree proceeded to set one of the plants in the greenhouse on fire. When questioned, she claimed she trying to talk to God.


Rule 283. I cannot "talk to God through a burning bush like Moses" so I should stop setting the plants in the greenhouse on fire.


The next day Hagrid caught her setting a shrub at the edge of the forbidden forest on fire.


- no this does not mean I can set the vegetation in the forbidden forest on fire.


And then the next week, when Dumbledore had told Bree that he couldn't have Maryland Style Crab Cakes served at dinner, she had gone on a hunger strike. No one had taken the threat seriously until Bree passed out in the middle of Charms class.


Rule 115. Not allowed to go on a hunger strike until Maryland Style Crab Cakes are served at dinner.


After that the house elves took matters into their own hands and obtained some blue crab with which they made a plate of crab cakes that Bree jealously guarded at dinner.


Severus Snape wasn't a religious man, but he thanked God that Bree Smith hadn't stayed over the Holiday. The girl was a nuisance, purposely causing trouble in his class and in the rest of the school, but at least he wouldn't have to deal with her antics until she and the rest of the students got back, and then the owl came. Snape took one look at the letter, then ripped it up, set the pieces on fire, then stalked out of the hall.


Rule 394. I am not give Snape the contact information of Doctors I think can "help" him.


Well that's all for now. Review please!