The disclaimer saying that I don't own any Ghost characters has been eaten by birds. Just some fun and fluff while I think about what exactly Thorfinn, Sasappis and Isaac did during those early years together.

A Whine In The Woods

"Another day of wandering aimlessly around this place," Captain Isaac Higgintoot grumbled as he milled about the forest where he was trapped in. He casually walked through a tree. Seeing as he was a ghost that didn't bother him.

What bothered him was that he was bored. He'd been dead for over three years and he was completely and utterly bored. A ghost could only stand around and watch nature for so long.

He missed his life which had been brutally cut short by dysentery. Before the war he had been a well-bred, educated young man full of ideas and enthusiasm for the new country he fought for. He hobnobbed with not only the rich and powerful, but with other like-minded revolutionaries.

He closed his eyes for a moment and remembered the days of his life. The parties he attended and the ones he threw. The dancing. The food. The fashion. The gossip. But what he missed most was the stimulating conversation of his peers about freedom and the rights of man.

Needless to say, the social circle he now ran with was a bit more limited.

He opened his eyes as he heard a chirp. He looked over and saw a bird on a nearby branch. "Hello little robin," Isaac sighed. "How I envy you. You can just fly away and go wherever you wish. Maybe go to a nice little bird party? Talk to other birds about, I don't know. Bird politics? Bird gossip? Where to find the best worms? I don't know."

"That's not a robin."

"I beg your pardon?" Isaac looked at one of his companions for the past few years. Sasappis, a member of the Lenape tribe who had died a little over 200 years before he did.

"That's not a robin," Sasappis looked at him. "That's a cardinal."

"I think I know what a robin looks like," Isaac huffed. "And that is a robin!"

"It's not a robin it's a cardinal," Sasappis told him. "Trust me. I think I'm more of an expert on birds than you are!"

"It can't be a cardinal!" Isaac snapped. "It's not even red!"

"Only the males are red," Sasappis told him. "Females are brown."

"Really?" Isaac asked. "I did not know that. Anyway, that's still a robin."

"It's not a robin," Sasappis argued. "It's too early for robins anyway."

"It's not that early for robins," Isaac said. "Because that is a robin right there."

"It's not a robin," Sasappis told him.

"It most certainly is a robin!" Isaac glared at him.

"It's a cardinal," Sasappis snapped. "A female cardinal!"

"Fine why don't we ask Thorfinn what it is?" Isaac suggested. "He can be the tiebreaker!"

"What needs to be broken?" Thorfinn, a strapping Viking warrior strode up to them. He had died long before either of them. "Thor can break it!"

"Thorfinn, I say that bird is a robin," Isaac pointed. "But Sasappis insists that's a cardinal. Now tell us. Which is it?"

"Oh, that is easy," Thorfinn waved. "Thor knows what bird that is. That is a Chirpy Chirp Bird."

The other two ghosts looked at him. "A Chirpy Chirp Bird?" Sasappis asked, disbelievingly.

"Thorfinn there is no such bird named a Chirpy Chirp Bird," Isaac told him.

"Yes, there is," Thorfinn puffed out his chest. "Thor named the bird. That bird Thorfinn named! It was down to either Chirpy Chirp Bird or Olaf. But bird not really look like Olaf. So it is Chirpy Chirp Bird."

"It is not a Chirpy Chirp Bird!" Sasappis pointed. "That is clearly a female cardinal!"

"I think it's a robin," Isaac shrugged.

"It's not a robin!" Sasappis snapped. "Or a Chirpy Chirp Bird!"

"What you think it looks like Olaf?" Thorfinn asked.

"Of course not!" Sasappis snapped. "It looks nothing like Olaf! I have no idea who Olaf is but I know it doesn't look like him!"

"I was once a member of the Continental Congress debating about freedom and the rights of man," Isaac sighed. "Now I spend my days arguing about birds with a Viking and a Lenape Indian."

"How many times do I have to explain to you that I'm not from India?" Sasappis looked at Isaac. "Wherever that is."

"It's a country from across the ocean," Isaac explained. "See there was this explorer named Christopher Columbus who was trying to get to India. But he ended up in the Americas and thought the people he met were Indians…"

"So basically, we get misnamed because some idiot didn't have a sense of direction?" Sasappis asked.

"Sounds a lot like Erik The Lost," Thorfinn spoke up. "He was trying to find new home full of green lands. But only found ice lands instead. So he tried to cover up mistake by calling ice lands Lands Of Green. Then his cousin Other Erik actually find green lands but didn't want his enemies to know so he called the green lands Lands of Ice. Very confusing."

"I can imagine," Isaac sighed.

"Then this other Viking named Erik…No relation to the first two," Thorfinn went on. "Erik common name. Find island with active volcano but call it Island of Not Active Volcano. That's when things really started to get confusing. And deadly. Lots of burned Vikings on that island."

"This can not be my afterlife," Isaac groaned.

Then there was a rustle in the bushes. The bird flew away. "What's that?" Isaac asked as the ghosts moved backwards.

"Uh oh," Sasappis moved back. "Deer."

"Deer!" Thorfinn pointed as he moved back as well.

"What?" Isaac turned and then saw it was a deer. A doe to be precise. "Oh, it's quite charming actually."

"No, no, no!" Thorfinn shook his head. "Deer not charming! Deer bad!"

"Isaac back away from the deer," Sasappis told him.

"That's strange," Isaac looked. "It's almost as if it's looking right at me."

"That's because it is looking at you," Sasappis told him.

"Deer can see ghosts," Thorfinn warned.

"Really?" Isaac did a double take. "That's fascinating."

"No, it's not," Sasappis said as he and Thorfinn backed away. "Isaac get away from the deer."

"But deer are such gentle creatures," Isaac moved closer for a better look.

"Oh, this will not end well," Thorfinn groaned.

"We tried to warn him," Sasappis sighed.

"Hello little deer," Isaac reached out to it. "Hello gentle little creature."

That's when the deer charged right at Isaac and ran through him, causing him great pain. The deer screamed in anger as he smelled Isaac's ghost power, which was a horrible stench.

"AAAAHHH!" Isaac doubled over in pain.

The deer ran through Isaac again. Both Isaac and the deer screamed. The deer decided it had enough of Isaac's scent so it ran off. "That thing attacked me!" Isaac gasped. "It deliberately attacked me!"

"Yeah, deer are monsters," Sasappis told him.

"Tried to warn you," Thorfinn added.

"Ugh…" Isaac recovered. "Who would have thought such sweet looking creatures could be so evil?"

"They know humans hunt them," Sasappis explained. "They want revenge."

"This is what I have to look forward to?" Isaac shouted. "Being hunted by deer for sport? I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

"Isaac…" Thorfinn began.

"Here we go again…" Sasappis sighed.

"HOW DID MY LIFE GO SO WRONG?" Isaac screamed up to the sky. "I WAS DESTINED TO MAKE HISTORY! NOT BE HISTORY!"

Isaac stormed back and forth. Walking through trees without even noticing. "I went to the best schools! I mingled with all the right people! I was among the movers and shakers of society! I threw the best parties! I WAS THE PARTY! PEOPLE LOVED MY DINNER PARTIES! MY WIFE AND I WERE THE TOAST OF THE TOWN! HOW DID IT ALL GO WRONG?"

"Well from what Thor is guessing," Thorfinn spoke up. "You probably should have washed your hands more often."

"That's what our medicine woman always said to do when disease broke out," Sasappis admitted. "Very wise woman."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Isaac screamed as he jumped up and down.

"Did I go this crazy the first few years I died?" Sasappis asked Thorfinn.

"You were not as whiny," Thorfinn told him. "More like a brooder."

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Isaac screamed some more.

"At least I was quiet," Sasappis sighed.

"THIS IS NOT FAIR!" Isaac shouted. "I USED TO LIVE IN A NICE MANSION! AND NOW I'M LIVING IN THE FOREST LIKE AN ANIMAL! AND I'M BEING HUNTED BY THEM!"

"Chee! Chee! Chee!"

"OH, SHUT UP YOU STUPID SQUIRREL!" Isaac shouted. "EVEN THE SQUIRRELS ARE LAUGHING AT ME!"

"No, they can't see you," Sasappis told him. "Just deer. I don't know why but…"

"THIS CAN'T BE MY DESTINY!" Isaac shouted. "I don't deserve this! I was a wealthy man! A pillar of the community! An educated member of the upper class! A good husband. An incredible leader of men…"

"Ehhh…" Both Thorfinn and Sasappis made a motion with their hands.

"I WAS!" Isaac shouted. "Unlike Alexander Hamilton!"

"Not Hamilton again," Sasappis groaned. "Not again!"

"This is where the boat runs aground onto sandbar of crazy," Thorfinn rolled his eyes.

"Hamilton! Hamilton!" Isaac paced back and forth wildly. "How does a bastard, orphan son of a whore and a Scotsman…? Dropped in the middle of some God forsaken spot in the Caribbean…? By providence impoverished and in squalor…become known as a hero and a scholar?!"

"Maybe he work a lot harder?" Thorfinn asked.

"Maybe by being a lot smarter?" Sasappis suggested.

"He sounds like self-starter," Thorfinn added.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" Isaac shouted. "I'd bang my head on a tree if it didn't go through! He should be suffering this fate! Not me! NOT ME! I mean I'm known for facing adversity but this is too much!"

"You used to be a rich white landowner," Sasappis scoffed. "Not that much adversity from where I'm standing."

"Somebody acting like Grizelda, Queen of the land of Dramatour," Thorfinn remarked. "Legend has it she had lots of hissy fits too!"

"Hissy fit?" Isaac snapped. "HISSY FIT? I AM NOT HAVING A HISSY FIT! I AM HAVING A PERFECTLY RATIONAL REASONABLE CALM NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!"

"Riiiiight," Sasappis nodded.

"I don't want to be stranded out here in the wilderness for eternity!" Isaac whined.

"Not exactly a harvest festival for us either!" Sasappis snapped.

"Maybe someone will build a house here?" Thorfinn suggested.

"Who Thorfinn?" Isaac shouted. "Who would be crazy to build a house all the way out here in the middle of nowhere? The squirrels?"

"Chee! Chee! Chee!"

"SHUT UP SQUIRREL!" Isaac shouted. "You can see me, can't you? You're mocking me! HE'S MOCKING ME!"

"Uh…" Sasappis began.

"Let him go," Thorfinn sighed. "Get it out of his system."

"AAAAAHHHH!" Isaac screamed as he started to run around.

"Why did we choose to hang out with him over the British troops again?" Sasappis asked.

"Because Isaac less uptight than they are," Thorfinn sighed. "Thor knows. High tree limb to pass."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"I'll give him this," Sasappis remarked. "He is entertaining."

"Thor definitely feel better about himself when Isaac around," Thorfinn admitted.

"AAAAHHHHHH!"

"This is a great leader of men," Sasappis quipped.

Isaac then stopped. He stood there crying. "I need a hug."

"Okay…" Thorfinn opened his arms. "Come here."

Sasappis sighed. "Group hug time."

Isaac hugged his ghost friends and they hugged back as he sobbed. "I just wanted to be a good patriot…"

"We know," Sasappis sighed as he patted Isaac's back.

"I just wanted to make a difference," Isaac added.

"We know," Thorfinn sighed.

"I wanted to be famous and have people read about me in history books," Isaac sniffed.

"We know…" The other ghosts said in unison.

Isaac pulled himself together and pulled away. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my outburst. It was unseemly."

"It's okay," Sasappis told him. "I freaked out after my first deer attack too."

"We both did," Thorfinn admitted. "It's okay."

"This is a lot to deal with," Sasappis told him. "It happens."

"Thank you," Isaac sighed. "You two have been stalwart companions throughout this ordeal. True gentlemen and dare I say, friends."

"That's nice," Thorfinn smiled. "We are all friends!"

"I guess it could be worse," Isaac sighed. "At least I'm not John Adams. That guy is a complete loser! Nobody will remember his name! And the only legacy he'll have is that he ate an entire apple pie at Brown Cow Tavern!"

"Feel better?" Thorfinn asked.

"Much," Isaac sighed. "Again, I apologize for my outburst. I am fully back in control of myself again. No more undignified screaming."

The ghosts just stood there. "Well, that killed ten minutes of eternity," Sasappis sighed. "Now what?"

There was another rustle in the bushes. "DEER!" Thorfinn screamed as he pointed.

"RUN!" Isaac shouted.

"AAAAAAHHH!" The ghosts fled for their afterlives.

Out of the bushes emerged a squirrel. "Chee! Chee! Chee!"