After a couple of days in hospital, with Billy at my bedside the entire time, I'm released into Billy's care. The bullet had ripped through my side, but it's really only a flesh wound. No major damage.
He insisted we wait before discussing anything that happened, and I understand why. If anyone overheard, they would commit us both for insanity.
Now that we're home, I don't wait long to bring it up. Billy tucks me into bed, but I grab his hand before he can go anywhere.
"Stay. Please."
"I have some things to take care of."
"I know, but… we need to talk."
Billy sighs and kicks off his shoes, then lays beside me on top of the covers.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that. Dinah was just—"
"It's not about Dinah. Dinah was nuts, and considering she tried to kill us both I'm glad she's gone."
"Oh. Then…"
"Two things. First, what the crap is Frank?"
Billy grins and takes my hand. "A werewolf."
I shake my head. How did I land in this world?
"Ok. I'll process that later."
Billy chuckles, but my next words are serious, and he needs to know it. I don't even grin.
"Second thing… I want you to turn me."
"No."
His answer is so quick, and so firm, that I flinch.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want this for you."
"Billy, Dinah could have killed me."
"But she didn't."
"But I will die. One way or another, it'll happen."
"Not for a long time."
"You don't know that." I take his hand and put it over my heart. "Did you know that I was in love with you before I found out what you are?"
Billy shakes his head.
"I was. For a while. After I found out, I waited for that to change… to be put off in some way. But I've grown even deeper in love with you. I don't ever want to lose you."
"But you won't realize you've lost me. You'll be better off."
"And what about you?"
"What about me?"
"If we spend fifty years together, and I die, what will you do?"
"Go on, like I've always done. I'll mourn and I'll exist."
"But what if we had more than fifty years?"
"No, Desiree." He gets off the bed and sighs. "I'll bring you your meds. You need sleep. You're not thinking clearly."
"Yes, I am. I won't let this go."
Billy leaves the room, and I know he's not willing to hear me out right now, but I won't stop. I want him. Forever.
I wake up in Billy's arms. The pain meds knocked me out last night, and we didn't get to talk anymore. I didn't even know he climbed into bed with me. He's pressed behind me, his hand resting on my hip, avoiding my side.
"Billy?"
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"I didn't really think you'd be up."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm a little hungry."
"That's good. You're getting your appetite back." He kisses my shoulder and gets out of bed. "I'll go make breakfast."
"Thank you… I still want to finish our talk."
He pulls a blue henley over his head and runs a hand over his face.
"We already talked about it."
"No, we started a conversation. I want to discuss this."
"No."
"Billy, don't you want me?"
"Of course, I do. What the hell kinda question is that?"
"Just not forever?"
"Desiree… this is eternity we're talking about. It's not fun living forever."
"I think it might be with you." I grin, and he shakes his head.
Billy sits on the bed next to me and caresses my face.
"The transformation isn't pleasant."
"How so?"
"It's painful. Your entire body changes, you have to adjust to new, heightened senses, the fangs grow in suddenly…"
"How long does it last?"
"The worst of the pain is a day or two. The rest will take time to adjust."
"And then an eternity with you? Sounds like a fair trade."
"Desiree, it's not just that. There are worse things than death."
"Like an eternity without love… which is what you're condemning yourself to."
Billy shakes his head. "Why are you being so stubborn about this?"
"Because I love you, and I want to be with you forever."
"You'll be with me for as long as you live."
"Why not as long as you live?"
"You're so damn stubborn," he whispers.
"If you know that, then you know I won't let this go."
Billy leaves the room, and I get dressed and follow him.
"You shouldn't be up."
"I'm fine."
He shakes his head as he hovers over the bacon. We don't say much through breakfast, and Billy decides to go into the office for a few hours to catch up on some work, leaving me alone for the first time in a while.
—
"Didn't think I'd see you back at work until Desiree could come with you," Frank says.
"I needed some space."
"Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?"
Billy motions for Frank to shut his office door, then runs his hands through his hair.
"She wants me to turn her."
"Oh, wow… That's rare."
"No kidding. Most people would really rather die than live forever. I mean, they talk about it, but when faced with the real choice…"
"Yeah, I know. So, what did you tell her?"
"No. I won't do it."
"How'd she take that?"
"Calmly… but she's not giving up. She's been on me about it since I got her home."
"And what's your reason for not doing it?"
Billy's eyes shoot to Frank's. "Are you serious?"
"Well, yeah, I mean, you love her, right?"
"Exactly. I love her. How can I condemn her to this?"
"Let me ask you something… have you had a miserable existence?"
"In some ways, yes."
"In what ways?"
"Knowing there's no end is a curse in itself."
"But there is an end… just not a quick one or an easy one. What's the real reason you've been miserable, Bill?"
Billy leans back in his chair and pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Being alone."
"Uh huh."
"Losing people I'm foolish enough to let myself get close to."
"And wouldn't Desiree willingly joining you rid you of that loneliness?"
Billy stares at Frank.
"You know I'm right," Frank says.
"The transition is painful."
"Who are you talking to about painful transitions?"
Billy chuckles. "Sorry."
"Just talk to her, man. Really talk to her, with turning her being an option. If she knows you're listening, maybe she'll listen to you and decide she doesn't want it. But if she does want to be turned, even after you talk?"
"I'll consider it. I'll talk to her."
