A/N 1: Hey, so I found one of the most disturbing commercials I've seen in a while. As disturbing as the commercial is, it did make me want to apply the product to a certain leggy blonde Valkyrie we all hold in the highest esteem. That got me thinking, what if Chuck decided he needed to broach the subject with Sarah. ;-) This little twisted vingenette is the result of those musings.
A/N 1A: To find the commercial that inspired this madness. Simply google "Lume Deodorant | Natural Deodorant For Your All Your Parts - Including Private Parts!" and you too may be disturbed and inspired in equal messure.
A/N 2: Thank you to CharmingCharles2896 and nevr for being the sounding boards for all my many crazy ideas for almost six months now. You guys keep me sane and help insulate the general public from my darker impulses. LOL!
A/N 3: Another Thank you goes out to WillieGarvin. Your graciousness in interacting with a total noob like me has been greatly appreciated. Even though most of my stories are not your cup of tea you always give constructive feed back and never sugar coat anything. I've immensly enjoyed our discussions on all of the different stories we've both been reading. It has provided me just as much entertainment and joy as the stories themselves in some cases. At any rate, Thanks for humoring me.
I don't own Chuck but I think Sarah has a much better claim on him than does Warner Brothers or Mr. Fedak.
No beta's were harmed in the making of this story, all errors and faults are mine and only belong to me.
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Written By:
Markey DeSad
Chuck dreaded the conversation he was about to have with Sarah, but they'd promised to be honest with each other when he'd rescued she and Casey from Volkoff's HQ in Russia. No Secrets, No Lies, that was their pact. There was no backing out of that pact now. He loved Sarah and for the good of their relationship he was going to be honest and truthful with her. He owed it to the woman who was the love of his life.
He'd asked Devon's advice and he'd recommended a product made by one of his friends in obstetrics. He said it had saved his marriage with Chuck's sister and it had increased their sex life tenfold.
Chuck had no reason to want more sex with Sarah than they already had, as his girl was pretty much insatiable. She put most rabbits to shame with her sex drive. He'd never known a woman with as strong urges as he had, until they'd made love that first time in Paris. They were pretty much a perfect match, as she'd told him time and time again since that first Parisian morning.
He just wanted it to be even more enjoyable than is currently was for both of them. He'd tested the product for the last week. Having applied the lotion after showering every morning for the last week. He'd noticed with delight that when Sarah went down on him, she no longer wrinkled her nose when she sniffed his balls before licking and sucking them. She now sucked to her and his hearts content, instead of just what was required to get him erect for another go.
Chuck hoped that after their talk, she'd let him apply some of the Lume lotion to her beautiful folds. He was dying to dine out on her to his heart's content, as he knew he'd be able to make it last longer for her, if only she was a little fresher. As it was, they normally made love after she had finished a very strenuous kick boxing session.
His girl was always really keyed up and horney beyond belief after any violent activities had taken place. He had lost count of how many times they'd had to take a break to have a quickie after a dangerous mission. Heck, there were even a few times she'd demanded he take her during a particularly long fire fight.
Those times had been both hair raising and extremely exciting. This time was just hair raising and fraught with danger of the emotional kind. He would have to be very delicate in his terms and language. He heard her in their room and he approached the door with the tube of Lume behind his back. He took in his beautiful girlfriend as she was bent forward, fastening the final garter to hold up her shiny taupe stockings.
"Hey Sarah? You almost ready, Honey?"
She looked up and smiled at him through her lashes, as she bit her lip. He was in the Armani Tux she'd chosen for him. He looked incredibly yummy to her and she felt more than saw his eyes sweep from her heels, up her legs, to focus on the juncture of her thighs. She watched his tongue flick across his lips to wet them. It almost made her moan as she knew just what that tongue could do to her now buzzing center. She could see something in his eyes, he was hiding something from her.
"Almost ready, Sweetie. Did you need something or were you just window shopping?"
Chuck cleared his throat and unconsciously wet his lips again while staring in fascination at the object of his most current obsession.
"Sarah, you know I love you right, Honey? I wondered if you might try something for me?"
He gave her his most charming grin possible right before he tossed her the tube of Lume. Her reflexes were cat like and she snatched it from the air in mid flight. She looked at it and her eyes narrowed, it was a tube that said 'Lume Deodorant : Warm Vanilla'. Her gaze captured him and it was anything but friendly.
"Chuck, are you trying to tell me something, Sweetie?"
Chuck glupped as he heard the warning note in her tone. It was like the hiss from a cobra before it struck its target. He was on very dangerous ground indeed and he had to tread very lightly...
FIN
A/N 4: Please let me know if you love or hate this little one shot.
