As I wait for Swanson at the end of the stairs in the front of my house, I can hear the music blasting from his car as I scroll my playlist on my phone. I roll my eyes at that freaking Kansas Jam, Don't you cry no more, he refuses to let go. The screech of the tires makes me shift uncomfortably as he stops the car abruptly in front of me. He serenades me, doing his ridiculous signature air-guitar-solo. The level of embarrassment right now is unmeasurable. I try to hate everything he does, but he's so adorkable I can't really hate him. I sigh, giving in once again. I rub my forehead, stand and sling the bag over my shoulder, making my way into the passenger's side.
I open the door and Jesse lowers the radio's volume to greet me. "Hello, princess." He wiggles his eyebrows, beaming that boyish grin of his.
"You're such a weirdo." I mumble disgustedly, slamming the door close.
He pinches my left cheek. "But you love me." He mocks, and I slap his hand away. Jesse hisses. "Geez! It's about fucking time someone gets you off."
I glare at him instantly, kind of offended by his remark. Sometimes, well most of the time really, Jesse always refers to my sex life. I've tried to talk him out of it, several times. I let him know how uncomfortable I feel about it, and he instantly seems to understand, yet his promise of never-mention-it-again expires the following morning.
"You're gross." It's the only snarky reply I can come up with to put an end to our exchange. I put on the seat belt, deviating my eyes to the road, trying to ignore the heat that's rising up my neck, since I always, inevitably, react to his comments.
He gives me a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "For good luck."
"Oh my God!" I slap him several times on the shoulder. He cackles his lungs out, leaning onto his door, and embracing his upper body as he tries to protect himself from me. "You fucking asshole!" I wipe my cheek and gag involuntarily. "I might puke…" I close my eyes for a moment, to see if it helps to contain my urge to vomit. And it does, miraculously. I take the vanilla coconut hand sanitizer Jesse has in the centre console. "You're disgusting!"
"Man up, Becs." Jesse says with a sly smile, shifting the gear. "You're an infamous badass."
We stare at each other, until he snorts and lets out his unbearable cackles. I exhale exasperated, and cross my arms over my chest. "Just drive." I mutter, looking out the window.
"Aw." He coos. "I never meant to hurt your lack of feelings."
I gawk at him, and he steps on the accelerator, making my head hit the headrest, on purpose. I hear him laughing. I chose to ignore him, but who am I fooling? He knows how to get on my nerves. "You're an ass." I hiss. I try to channel my emotions, but I can't. I'm not capable of controlling myself in front of my best friend, and that's ever since I finally acknowledged our heading. I am definitely overreacting to Jesse and to existence itself. This thing I am feeling right now has a known cause.
Luckily, Jesse doesn't push any further. We just enjoy each other's company, while his playlist washes over our preoccupations, the little ones we have. A few moments later, before we reached Benji's house, I apologized to Jesse. My outburst was a bit of a drama and we both know so. I sure like to be honest with him, telling him what I am feeling and thinking, and that's only when things are between us. Because when it comes to personal things, the walls are there, protecting my essence. And it's not because he's not trustworthy, because he is. It's just that when I'm about to go to him with my worries, something clicks in my brain, completely denying any kind of intent. Anyway, Jesse tells me to forget about the whole thing, and I kind of do. Well, try. Because there's still a splinter full of guilt, deep down my tiny heart, that's making my inner peace go down the drain.
Jesse's family is like Cheaper by the half dozen. When we were in fourth grade, his father remarried a woman named Kathleen Beale, a natural ginger with baby blue eyes who had three clones of her. The Beales were ridiculously beautiful, charming and shrewd. There were three: Chloe, the oldest of the three, perky as hell and extremely confident. Tom, less of a brain, yet an awesome athlete and Nathan, the most geeky person you'll ever meet. Her children were kind and welcoming to anyone. Though their personalities were complete opposites, those were the traits they shared by blood.
The new Mrs. Swanson is undoubtedly spectacular, fond, genuine and coherent. She was never the step-bitch cliché, no. On the contrary, Kathleen is very understanding, and she knows, very well, the whereabouts-limits of both families. Personally, I've never encountered a travesty or a fight on the Swanson-Beale's house. No complaints ever came out of Jesse over the years. Jesse always had nice things to tell me about Kathleen and her kids. Sure there were those-snacks-were-mine or I-was-in-line-for-shower-first or stop-using-my-clothes fights, but nothing out of an ordinary family.
On the brunette-Swanson side, we got Jesse, Mike and Ana. Jesse, as you may have witnessed, is the pain in the ass and a musical prodigy, as he calls himself (and I agree, because he's highly intelligent). Mike is a pretty awesome skater and violinist, and Ana loves to sing and plays piano. The latter are the oldest, Jesse being the baby brother. These kids are unashamed weirdos, musically brilliant and huge jokers. They never thought Beales were enemies or intruders, I mean, Mr. Swanson raised them well, with the help of his mother. I remember that, every time he could, he would sit down with the kids and ask them how they felt about having a bigger family in the house, and Swansons would answer the truth. Once, Mr. Swanson made me participate in his weird teller-circle. He asked me how I felt when I visited the full house, and I answered "I enjoy it".
At first, when Kathleen and Andrew married, when everybody was accommodated in the new house, it was chaos. Troy was nothing compared to this room hunting. Yet, it was an enjoyable chaos, I might add. Kids rushing up the stairs, slamming the doors wide open to inspect the spaces, shouting "claimed" by the time they finally chose their rooms. Even when I didn't even participate in this dynamic, I must say, it's one of my best childhood memories I possess.
As the years went by, everyone grew up. This led the oldest three, Chloe, Tom and Mike, off to college, and to be honest, the noise is missed at Swanson-Beale's. I miss it too. There are other things I miss, but this is what I miss the most, just being surrounded by amazing nerds who just make life a bit easier. Though, I do like my quiet space, mostly when I am mixing, but when it comes to Swanson-Beale's I expect nothing but loudness. Though sometimes, Ana, Jesse, Nathan and I get the noise running by doing stupidly teenage stuff, it still is not the same with the rest of Swanson-Beales.
After picking Benji up, Jesse drove all the way to his house. He and Benji are having some kind of conversation I can care less about. But the convo didn't go unnoticed once they're-heading-back-home-tomorrow catches my attention. Apparently, tomorrow there is a pool party at Swanson-Beale's, and all the college siblings are heading back home to enjoy quality family time for Spring Break. How I wish I was listening to any of this instead of planning my next mix in my head...
"Awesome!" Benji smiles, hanging his backpack on his left shoulder. "It's been long since I last saw Tom, Chlo and Mike!'
"They're coming back?" I snap my head towards Jesse as we stop by the front door of his house, not conscious of my stupid reaction, which I instantly regret.
"Yeah." Jesse nods, eyeing me leisurely. "Why?" The question is left hanging as we get out of the car and walk towards the house. He pushes the door open. "Well?" Jesse pushes.
I shake my head once, shrugging the interrogation off. "Nothing." I just let myself inside, taking in the amazing smell of Mr. Swanson's famous grilled steak. My mouth waters instantly.
"Beca! Benji!" He calls from the kitchen. "Come on in!"
"Hi, Mr. Swanson." I smile, letting the bag hit the kitchen's floor by the breakfast nook. He punches my hand, holding the tongs.
"Beca, Benji." Mr. Swanson nodded, as Benji sits on a stool by the kitchen's island.
"Evening, Andrew." Benji says politely with a small smile.
"So, what are you guys up to this evening?" Andrew asks as pops a piece of carrot into his mouth.
"Meh," Jesse shrugs, pulling out three juice pouches from the big ass fridge they have. I might add Swanson-Beale's kitchen is the best kitchen I've ever seen. It's a fucking delight. "I think we are going to the movies. The new 007 movie is showing, and I might have a weakness for its score." He sits beside me, handing us the pouches. "I downloaded it yesterday and it is impeccable." I raise an eyebrow at him, sipping from my juice.
"Take your toner down a notch, Baby Swanson." Aubrey says from the kitchen's entrance, pushing her sunglasses over her head, gripping her handbag with her free hand.
And that's it. I feel the juice I just sucked into my mouth, falling out of it. My heart just takes a fucking pause, expecting the expected. Chloe walks past her, beaming her wide smile at everyone. Her fiery, red hair falling on the sides of her neck like a cascade. "Andrew!" She hugs Mr. Swanson tightly.
"Chlo!" He embraces her with one arm, holding out the one with the tongs. "I thought you were arriving tomorrow noon!" He smiles widely, surprised. "How are you?"
She pulls back, grinning, and finally I react, wiping my chin with the sleeve of my shirt. "I am good." She turns around, towards the girly girl behind her. "We couldn't wait to come back, could we?"
"Of course not." Aubrey strides gallantly, greeting Andrew.
"It's nice to have you here Aubrey." Mr. Swanson says with a smile. "You want something to drink? A beer maybe?"
Aubrey chuckles lightly. "No, thank you, Andrew."
"Hi, guys!" Chloe looks at us with a smile. She walks over Jesse to hug him.
"Long time no see, sis." He says happily. "Glad you came home early!"
"I couldn't wait any longer." She exhales dramatically, and her eyes catch mine. Her smile widens enough to brighten the whole kitchen. "Beca!" She squeals, and I grimace. She hugs me tightly, and awkward me doesn't hug her back. She does all the job while I am ravished in her cherry, vanilla scent. God, I'm stupid. "You are so big! I mean, still tiny but, you know..." She winks at me. "Grown up."
"Thanks." I deadpan, but she doesn't even care. She's just as lively as before.
"Hello, Benji!" She ruffles his hair, and stands behind me.
Benji blushes, and tries to fix his messy hair. "Welcome home, Chloe."
"Aw, Thanks!" She says, reaching forward to pull an apple out of the fruit basket set on the breakfast nook. She's just way too close to me, to a level my heart rate is picking up wildly. So, I just slurp from my juice pouch and fight the temptation destiny is throwing at me.
"Hey, Chlo! I'm gonna get going. I've to pick up Jared from work. Nice to see you guys. See you tonight, Chloe!" Aubrey walks out waving her hand over her head.
"Bye!" Chloe chirps and takes the bite from the apple. Unconsciously, I found myself, glancing over my right shoulder to stare at her. Her jaw, perfectly defined with each bite she takes, and the worst thing is, Chloe is fully aware I am staring. She fucking smirks.
"She's so hot..." Jesse exhales dreamly, his elbows over the countertop and his hands supporting his chin.
I might have applied too much force to the juice pouch, and made a mess with it. Like I seriously needed a wet crotch. To cool things off. I hiss. Patting myself dry. I glance at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Dude, gross!"
"Not even in your wildest dreams, Jesse." Chloe pats his shoulder with a chuckle, making Andrew laugh.
Jesse lets his head rest on his arms over the nook. "But she's like... ridiculously gorgeous!" He sighs defeated. "Why does she have to have a boyfriend? Complete a-hole by the way."
"Women are indecipherable, Jess." Andrew starts. "You are young, son. You're supposed to have fun." He encourages with a smile, though he can't contain his laughter. "I'm sorry." He fakes a cough, and brings his seriousness back.
Chloe just laughs sweetly. "You should listen to dad more." She places a hand over Jesse's arm. "Go out, date, have fun, and later on in college you know…" She winks with a smirk.
"Okay." He exhales awkwardly, embarrassed and crimson. "Thanks for the pep talk."
After making Jesse uncomfortable for a few more minutes, Mr. Swanson serves the food for us and Chloe joins us for dinner. She sits across from me on the table, after we all set the plates and the food on the table. Mr. Swanson can't stop talking about his newest acquisition, the grill which he will use for the first time tomorrow. I don't know where along the lines I lost interest in anything he was saying. But one thing I know is that I don't dare to look up from my plate, except to glance at Jesse, Benji or Andrew. I'm about to take a sip from Chloe's homemade lemonade, when I feel something poking my shin. Inevitably, I look up to find Chloe drinking from her beer nonchalantly, her eyes on Andrew, paying attention to whatever he's saying. And then I feel it again, the poke. My eyes go wide, I'd say more of a questioning look, and I know so because even when Chloe tries to hide her smile, her eyes are gleaming with excitement.
What else does she want from me? I don't know. What I do know is that little game of her is driving me insane. And I feel helpless. I really would like to ignore all of this, but the way my body reacts to this perky person is sinful. I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to calm the excited hormones currently clouding my thoughts. What on Earth am I going to do for the next few days?
"Chloe, do you mind if Beca stays with you tonight?" Andrew asks nicely. Wait, what? I snap my sight back up to the table, to find Chloe growing intrigued with the exchange. "I mean, we were going to lend her your room before you, um, surprised us?"
"She's staying the night?" Chloe's eyes lightened up. And I know the meaning of this. I've witnessed this story before, I know what the gleam in her eyes mean. She's excited. "Sure!"
"You don't mind, Beca?" Andrew asks doubtfully. "I mean, it's not as planned and I know you always stay with Anna, but she's bringing a friend too."
I remain speechless for a few seconds, staring at Mr. Swanson. "Sure." It came out some sort of strangled.
"Great!" He smiles wide, and I pick up the resemblance between him and his younger son.
Chloe picks up her dish, "I'm going to settle in." She smiles, and stops by the sink. Her eyes are on me, and I have nothing else to do except push a sweet pea around the plate with the fork just to evade any kind of exchange with her. "Coming Becs?" She asks, and I have no other choice but to allow it. When I nod, she smiles to herself and walks away.
"The steak was amazing, Mr. Swanson." He smiles at me while chewing, letting me know he welcomes the compliment. I stand up from the stool, awkwardly, taking the dishes with me. I let them in the sink. "Um, I'll be right back, guys." I grab my bag from the floor. "I'll settle my things, and get ready for the movies, yeah?"
Jesse gasps. "Beca Mitchell," He sits straighter in his seat. "What's wrong with you?!"
I frown. "Me?! What's wrong with you?" I spat, trying to hide how nervous I am. Why are you acting so defensively? Chill, Mitchell. Chloe is complicating things, and it's being noted. To hide it, I counter his question. "You were the one idolizing Aubrey."
He scoffs, looking kind of embarrassed. "Shut up."
I smirk at him and I know I am saved, for now. "Just be ready in time before I change my mind, and decide to stay home."
"Will do, ma'am." Benji salutes like a soldier, assuring with his kind smile.
As I make it upstairs, millions of thoughts are running through my mind now. Chloe is back. Flirty as always, a hazard really. She's the master of mixed signals, the devious older sister. She's an expert in sensual related stuff. She has always been. She has let us know for a while now, with all her parade of boy toys, ever since teenage years bloomed. And worst of all, I was captivated by all of it, all of her. Still am.
I inhale deeply, and make it down the hall. Her door is closed once I get there, and I hesitate to knock. I don't know why Mr. Swanson didn't place me in the basement instead of Chloe's bedroom. I take a deep breath, knowing something is going to happen as soon as Chloe decides to open the door. I knock the door twice, and wait for her to come over. She opens the door a bit, and I meet her gorgeous blue eyes. Her façade is tranquil, utterly satisfied with my arrival. She's barefooted, and her dark blue, sleeveless dress that shows her perfectly toned legs and arms.
"Took you long enough." She smiles at me.
