I got an interesting review from Jordan on chapter 50 and I forgot to address it so here is the review:
I can imagine Bree having actual fun with the Ministry degrees. Hell, all that paperwork that Umbridge makes for herself to actually perform all of those degrees, not even going into the paperwork the students have to have ratified for her. Can you imagine just what an overworked paperpusher will overlook in that case, Bree could even form her own Inquisiter Squad with permission for one (or her own shoolyard mafia)? The castle bit works nicely, kind of reminds me a bit of the TARDIS communicating with the Doctor; on the other hand can you imagine the looks that she would get by asking the castle for something and actually receiving it? The fear of the students, she is omnicent.
Moving on to romance, I really think Bree has the oblivious vibe going far for her; but as a cunning force of a joke gone wrong, please let the idea that she has a harem work itself around. Imagine the fun of people actually applying to Luna for either positions, or safety from it. Fred and George can be the senior membors with Lee as the person trying to tell everybody that there is no harem. Best part would be if this was a result of an offhand comment froim Bree, her having no idea that this is happening with all the other projects that she is working on.
Oh, and whenever Bree brings the twins onto her side, since they seem to be the closest to requitment, try to either shock them into fainting, or join in on the mayhem.
Okay so the harem idea is very interesting but I don't think it will make it into the story but, I have been toying with the idea of starting a side story that would just be a collection of one-shots where Bree deals with various clichés in Harry Potter fanfiction, such as: Veela Draco, time travel, creature heritage, veil of death as a portal to AUs or other world (i.e. Middle Earth, Naruto-verse, etc.), and of course harems. But would anyone want to read about Bree taking on these challenges?
Bree's evaluation was taking place in Madam Pomfrey's office which was just off the hospital wing. It served as additional storage space for medical supplies and as a place where Madam Pomfrey could update a student's medical records. Bree sat across from Healer Michaels. She stared for a moment before finally deciding to speak.
"You need to find a real job instead of, you know, institutionalizing people that the ministry wants to go away." she said flatly.
"I only institutionalize those who need it." Michaels replied.
"If you say so." Bree muttered skeptically.
"Now then," Michaels began "Do you know why you're here?"
"Because Umbridge told the ministry that I'm crazy." Bree responded.
"Do you know why Professor Umbridge feels that you have mental health issues?" Michaels asked, scribbling notes.
"Yes. I scare her." Bree answered.
"Professor Umbridge believes that you have delusions of power and that your erratic behavior may end up harming other students." Michaels explained.
"Erratic implies that I'm out of control and I don't know what I'm doing. I know damn well what I'm doing. I'm rebelling against a society that needs to change and a government that has turned against the people and cares only about staying in power." Bree stated coldly.
Michaels "hmmed." "Bree, what I like to do is take a peek into your mind and see if you're really as in control of your actions as you say."
"Go ahead." Bree stated, looking Michaels right in the eye. She didn't fight as he tried to push into her mind.
Inside of Bree mindscape, Michaels found himself outside of a glistening golden wall that hurt to look at where the "pathways of the mind" should have begun, he didn't know it, but it was the block that stopped the pathways the psychic worm had created from bringing in information and overloading Bree's mind. But it didn't cover the naturally formed pathways which didn't seem to have any protection at all. Michaels stepped onto one of these pathways, which looked like naturally formed trails, and met up with little resistance as something, or a combination of somethings, analyzed and judged him before letting him pass.
Michaels has the feeling that if Bree hadn't allowed him in then the golden and whatever else there was defending Bree's mind would have kicked him out and he wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. He knows that the golden wall is some sort of very advanced defense. He also knows that Bree didn't put it there and he's not quite sure what to make of that.
Once he had started down the path he was able to see the paths that the wall was blocking. What he saw disturbed him. The paths were unnatural; they looked as if they had been gouged into the ground but still had the paved quality of asphalt, if asphalt came in a particularly angry shade of metallic red that is. Some of the natural paths intersected the unnatural ones, and others didn't, Michaels was on one of the one that did. As soon as he stepped onto one the unnatural paths he found himself being speed down it before the path curved and he was flung into a tree.
Laughter filled the air. Michaels got up and found the source of the laughter sitting in the trees branches. It looked like Bree, but with slivery blond hair instead of the darker shade Bree had. "Information moves a lot more quickly on those paths, but I guess you already knew that." She said, amused.
"Those are not natural." Michaels muttered.
"No, they're not, but they make the mind work so much faster, especially since they're not clogged up with all the memories that aren't anymore." The not-Bree replied.
"Memories that aren't what?" Michaels questioned.
"Memories that aren't mine!" the not-Bree responded happily.
"But you can't have memories that aren't yours! That's impossible!" Michaels protested.
The not-Bree grinned just a little bit wider than was possible for a human. "Some would say the same of time travel, or magic. Those that say something is impossible just don't know the scope of what is possible." She stated.
Michaels sighed. He had forgotten for a moment the Bree he was talking to was only a product of the real Bree's mind and was therefore incapable of really changing her opinions unless the real Bree changed. It was odd; most mental constructs he met didn't look so much like their creators.
"You're here to make sure that we're sane right?" the non-Bree asked.
"Yes." Michaels answered, not at all bothered by the plural.
"And you would be able to job faster if you had someone to guide though this place right?" Not-Bree suggested.
"Yes a guide would make things much easier." Michaels agreed.
"Well I'm not exactly a guide… But I suppose I could maybe possibly help. Where would you like to start?" Not-Bree inquired.
"How about with the memories that aren't?" Michaels asked.
Not-Bree's grin disappeared. "No." she said.
"But it could provide valuable information key to understanding-" Michaels was cut off.
"They're not the kind of thing you start with." Not-Bree started flatly. Then she grinned her too wide grin again. It'd be better with you started by going that way." She said pointing in two directions at once. "No maybe that way." She crossed her arms so each hand was pointing in the direction opposite of what they had been. "No, actually you should go… that way." She pointed straight down. A hole opened up and Michaels fell as not-Bree waved goodbye, grinning madly the whole time.
Michaels found himself in a large area that's cluttered with gravestones and consumed by dark fog. The gravestones are packed tightly together and seem to form a small canyon will walls made of gravestones piled on top of one another making Michaels feel like he'd be crushed at any moment.
There's only one path to take and Michaels starts walking, unable to see more than a few feet ahead of him due to the fog. Soon the gravestones start to mold into a stone wall and Michaels finds himself the courtyard of a crumbling old stone building. There is a very distinctive crack in one of the walls and Michaels could almost swear it was whispering. The courtyard is empty except for an angel statue with a snake wrapped around its neck, choking the life out of the angel.
Michaels approached the statue carefully. After seeing what he had of Bree's mind he knew that it was configured defensively. There were three way to get this type of mind. The first was to become skilled in occlumency and put up your defenses yourself. The second was to have someone else do it for you. The third was to have it happen naturally, which didn't happen very often. Normally people tend to have their minds rather organized so that they could easily remember what they needed to (of course some people remembered certain things better than others but that was the result of differences in personality, interests, etc.), people how have had a traumatic experience will often try to repress the memory and people who have had someone invade their mind would hide the memories in unexpected places.
Bree mind seemed to have been tampered with, someone has attacked it and someone else had tried to fix the damage and Bree's mind had rearranged itself to confuse other people and hide things from them.
With that in mind, Michaels touched the statue and was sucked into a memory.
Graveyard. Confusion.
"Kill the spares."
Panic.
"HIT THE DECK!"
Fear. Terror.
"We're not leaving him."
Planning. Determination.
"Don't worry about me, just get Harry."
Adrenaline rush.
"Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son!"
Don't think, just act.
"Flesh - of the servant - w-willingly given - you will - revive - your master."
"B-blood of the enemy… forcibly taken… you will… resurrect your foe."
Voldemort had risen. Panic.
"Obscuro!"
It worked!
"Depulso!"
That'll buy us some time.
"Confringo!"
Take that rat!
"Crucio!"
PAIN. PAIN. PAIN.
"Accio Bree!"
The world disappeared in a whirl of color and Michaels was back in the courtyard with the statue, only this time the crack in the wall had spilt open wide enough for him to walk through. He walked over to the crack and saw a new landscape that he couldn't quite make out because it what such a long way down. Not wanting to endure such a long fall, even if it was all in Bree's head, he turned around and came face to face with not-Bree. She was different now; before she had been an exact copy of Bree, save for the too wide grin and the strawberry blond hair. Now her pupils were stilled like a cat's and there were claws where her fingernails had once been.
"Enjoy the show?" not-Bree asked while grinning too widely. Her voice was cheerful, with just a hint of malice and sadistic pleasure.
"Voldemort really is back, isn't he?" Michaels asked. Not-Bree laughed. It was high, cold, and crazed.
"He never really left you know. Spent some time sharing headspace with Professor Qurril. Don't know where he was before that, maybe timesharing in Bermuda." Not-Bree said. "Since you work for the ministry and all I wouldn't advise spreading the news around, otherwise it would be… Off with your head." Not-Bree demonstrated he point by grabbing her head by the hair and removing it from her body.
"That reminds me, it's time for you to meet the queens." Not-Bree then took her free hand and shoved Michaels. He found himself falling. He looked up and saw not-Bree waving before the crack snapped shut.
Line line line
Michaels landed on a chess board, a giant chess board with pieces as tall as he was, but it was chessboard none the less. On one side were red pieces, on the other side there were… more red pieces. The two sides could be told apart, however, because they were different shades of red. One side had pieces that were an eye-watering shade of bright red and the other pieces were a dark shade of bloody red. Michaels took a closer look and realized that they weren't pieces, but people! He recognized some of the people.
The Queen of the bright red pieces was Umbridge. She was wearing a frilly gown decorated with hearts and there was a "Q" embroidered on her chest. The king was Fudge dressed in the gaudy attire of a medieval king with a "K" on his chest. The bishops had "J"'s, the knights had "10"'s, the rooks had "9"'sand the pawns had "2"'s.
The blood red pieces were dressed in armor, except for the Queen, which was Bree herself, dressed in an outfit similar to her Smith academy uniform with some changes. Her skirt stopped right at the knee, her boots had an extra two inches of height and had traded laces for nine buckled straps. Her fishnet gloves now extended well past the elbow and disappeared beneath the sleeves that covered her shoulders. Instead of a button up shirt there was a corset top with puffed sleeves that covered her shoulders. Her cadet cap had been replaced by black crown and her gold skull ring had been exchanged for a black one with ruby eyes.
Then Michaels realized that Bree wasn't on the board, she was directing the movement of the pieces. The queen on the board was a tall, regal woman dress in blood red armor. Michaels knew from the file that he had barely got a look at before being taken to Hogwarts that this was Bree's Aunt Lisa. Michaels wasn't sure how he had missed the woman since she was standing protectively in front of Bree, but still on the board.
Off to the side of the board where the Blood red army's captives resided was a bright red pawn that looked like Michaels himself. This confused Michaels, he had known that Bree didn't have a high regard for him since he was working for the Ministry, but why did she believe that she had captured him? And just and confusing why where there three red queens?
"I pictured to myself the Queen of Hearts as a sort of embodiment of ungovernable passion-a blind and aimless Fury. The Red Queen I pictured as a Fury, but of another type; her passion must be cold and calm - she must be formal and strict, yet not unkindly; pedantic to the 10th degree, the concentrated essence of all governesses!" a voice said from behind him. Michaels turned and found not-Bree who had reattached her head at some point and grown a set of cat ears and a tail striped with a purplish gray color along with a shade of blond that matched not-Bree's hair.
"Lewis Carroll." Not-Bree explained. "Umbridge is the Queen of Hearts, not the Red Queen, so really there two Red Queens, not three."
"That doesn't explain why there are two." Michaels stated.
"In a monarchy, the Queen has the most power when there is no King. On a chess board, the most powerful piece is the Queen. Aunt Lisa is our most powerful ally and we have no king to rule with us." Not-Bree replied.
"I see… So why am I a prisoner in this… game?" Michaels asked. Not-Bree grinned, her tail twitched excitedly, her ears twitched and a gleam of something sadistic flashed in her eyes.
"Because that's what you are of course!" Not-Bree exclaimed.
"What!" Michaels shouted.
"Ever heard of the expression "mind like a steel trap"? Well this mind is like a lobster trap. Easy to get into, but you can't get out unless someone releases you." Suddenly not-Bree's excitement disappeared and was replaced by something more sinister and terrifying. Her grin was still in place, but it was far more predatory, and now, looking into not-Bree's eyes he felt as if he was looking into the eyes of a monster. "Better be careful this place doesn't become your own personal pitcher plant. Lures you in, then eats you alive." She whispered darkly. Her expression lightened again and she pranced over to where Red Queen Bree was standing, hugging her briefly before grabbing her hand.
"As long we have a guest, let's put on a good performance and show him exactly what's going to happen to Umbridge!" not-Bree suggested. Red Queen Bree nodded and not-Bree turned around to face Michaels.
"Get off the battlefield unless you want to end up brain dead!" she called to him. Michaels quickly moved off the board and stood next to his pawn self. The game began. The Red Queens' pawns, among which were Rita Skeeter and Percy Weasley, dispatched most of Umbridge's pawns, a rook, and a bishop. Bree's rooks, bishops, and knights took care of Umbridge's remaining rook, bishop, pawns, and the knights. The combined forces of Red Queen Lisa, Pawn Rita, and Pawn Percy crushed Fudge.
While all this was happening Umbridge's throne grew high and higher and she seemed oblivious to what was going on below her, apparently she thought she was winning so she was greatly surprised when the Red Queens' forces toppled her throne and sent her falling to the ground. When she landed her body shattered to pieces that were carried off by crows.
"The higher you climb, the harder you fall." Red Queen Bree stated.
"What makes you so sure you will have the power to defeat Umbridge?" Michaels asked ask he approached Red Queen Bree and not-Bree as the pieces returned to their spots on the board.
"If I told you that I'd have to kill you." Red Queen Bree stated.
"That reminds me, you can't tell anyone what you saw here, you just have to declare us sane… or else." Not-Bree said.
"Do you really have the power to back up that threat?" Michaels inquired.
"Have you ever been targeted by the mob?" Red Queen Lisa asked. Michaels blinked at the seemingly random question.
"No." he answered.
"Keep it up with the questions and you soon will be." Red Queen Lisa stated coolly.
"There is another reason Aunt Lisa is a Queen, but I'm not going to tell you." Not-Bree stated. "Now I suppose you still want to see the memories that aren't." Both of the Red Queens frowned at that.
"Yes, of course." Michaels replied.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Red Queen Lisa asked.
"Absolutely not!" Not-Bree exclaimed enthusiastically. "But it will be fun!"
"Those memories are dangerous. They will burn you up if you're not careful." Red Queen Bree stated.
"I know. That's what makes it fun!" not-Bree exclaimed, she suddenly became more serious. "Besides, it's the best way to explain how the red paths got here."
"Come on then Michaels." She said, grabbing Michaels arm and leading him down a natural path.
"Be careful." The Red Queens advised.
They had been walking for some time through a forest that was steadily growing darker.
"Where are you leading me?" Michaels asked after a long period of silence.
"To the hidden part of our mind, where the things we hide from our self lurk. The fears we can't face, the nightmares that haunt us, and the memories we avoid." Not-Bree explained.
"I thought all of that was contained within the graveyard." Michaels stated.
"No. The Canyon of Graves is full of the bad things that make us stronger. They were horrible to live through, but the experience made us who we are. What's up ahead could have unmade and ended us, and they could still drive us to the edge if we look too closely." Not-Bree replied somberly. Something rustled in the underbrush.
"What was that?" Michaels asked.
"It was just a nightmare. Stay on the path and you will be fine." Not-Bree assured him.
Eventually they came to clearing. There was a blue police box in the middle of it. Not-Bree opened the door and shoved Michaels inside. It was bigger on the inside. Michaels wasn't really surprised. The room they were in looked like the control room of the eleventh Doctor's TARDIS except that the TARDIS core now seemed to serve as a giant test tube that contained a creature that looked like a cross between a tape worm and a centipede. It was a psychic worm, or larger-than-life mock up at any rate, a real one would be much smaller.
"Touch it." Not-Bree commanded.
"What!" Michaels exclaimed, startled.
"Just do it. It will make things easier in the long run." Not-Bree stated.
Michaels hesitantly touched the tube that contained the worm and was pulled into a memory.
He found himself in a stark white hospital room. A younger Bree was lying in a hospital be. Two men and a red haired woman were next to her. One of the men was explaining something to Bree.
"You were infected by a psychic worm. It probably infected you when she was a small child and the neuronal pathways in your brain were still forming. It hacked into your brain arranged the pathways so that your mind could accept and store information beyond what the human mind is normally capable of. Usually that would result in a genius but the worm created a block so that you would only learn what was expected of an average human, that way it could regulate what's in your head. Then the worm used a psychic field to pull visions from the past, present, and future and forced you remember them so that it could feed off of the energy it took to store the new memories. The worm has a defense system. In your time abnormalities like that can be easily detected, so what happens when the worm is detected? The worm extends its psychic field to modify the memories of the doctors and nurses and anyone else who might know, and then it modifies its host's memories." He explained.
"We had to bring you here to have the worm removed before the information overload started to kill you."
The memory ended and Michaels was back in the TARDIS.
"And that's where the memories that aren't are from." Not-Bree stated.
"So… are you like a seer now?" Michaels asked.
"No. There is a block in place, that golden wall, it keep new memories that aren't from coming in. If it wasn't there our mind would overload and burn up and we would die. The memories that were already here were dulled down and made difficult to access; well most of them were anyway. Knowledge of the future is dangerous, and trying to change terrible events that we're not supposed to play a part in could have consumed us and driven us insane." Not-Bree explained before breaking into grin. "Do you still want to see them? I could show you Pompeii on Volcano day or the earth on the day that it is burned up by an expanding sun. I could show you planet so close to its sun that the radiation would burn up any living thing in less than a second, but it's made out of diamonds and is so beautiful to look at. I could show you things that would change your view of the world forever, truths that you would never be able to un-see." Not-Bree voice became more demented the more she spoke.
"That's alright. You're right about those memories being dangerous. I'm done here." Michaels replied. Not-Bree went back to normal.
"Alright, if your done then get out." She said. Michaels was suddenly forced out of Bree's mind.
He found himself right where he had started, sitting across from Bree in Madam Pomfrey's office.
"You know you can't tell anyone about what you saw there." Bree stated.
"I don't think anyone would believe me. In fact, I'd probably end up getting and evaluation myself." Michaels answered.
Michaels then signed some papers declaring Bree sane and not at all a danger to anyone in the school.
At dinner Bree danced up to the head table while humming "When the Saints Go Marching In." She shoved the papers long enough for Umbridge to read that Bree was sane.
"How is that possible?" the toad muttered. Bree then proceeded to march around the Great Hall while showing off her papers.
"Yeah she's sane." Draco said sarcastically.
After dinner Bree led her housemates in a parade up to the common room, this time with music (Who knew that Seamus could play the trumpet?) and singing. Once they got to the common room there was of course, a party.
619. Not allowed to tell the psychological evaluator that he needs to find a real job.
620. Not allowed to parade around the school when I pass my psychological evaluation.
And that is the end of a completely original chapter, no dialog taken from the books at all.
The Not-Bree is kind of meant to be a combination of Bree's Id and her animagus form. She did help Michaels, but still regarded him as more of a plaything and a tool.
Bree's mind is of course, based off of Wonderland. The names of the locations that appear are, in order of appearance, The Beginning Pathways, The Canyon of Graves, The Chessboard Battlefield, The Forest of Nightmares, and the Not-TARDIS.
Review please.
