Shaw knocked this time, Root noted. Didn't act like she lived here anymore; it wasn't as if she had lived here, not really, but she'd been comfortable here, Root was sure. Root wiped her hands on a teatowel, suddenly unreasonably nervous. Root hadn't even been this nervous when she'd led Shaw here the first time, sure Shaw was finally going to reciprocate her advances. Not that this had been disappointing, it just wasn't what she'd imagined she and Shaw would get up to in a one bedroom apartment. Root hadn't wanted to push; Shaw had clearly stayed here of her own free will, but Shaw had been nothing if not hostile to Root's flirtations all along the way.
Shaw waited outside the apartment, wondering why she hadn't used the key. She'd been invited to dinner, not to stay, maybe that was the difference. And Root's track record with food was worth some common courtesy. She shouldn't have dragged it out like this though, she should have got her stuff last night and left. But Shaw was still confused. She felt like she'd called Root's bluff, that Root's flirting was all just a game to her to make Shaw uncomfortable, but the way Shaw had wanted to hold Root the night before was so foreign. If it had all been a game to Root, the way she flirted in front of the boys, then backed down when Shaw was alone and in front of her… but that didn't fit with the way Root had looked at Shaw before she'd left this morning. It didn't fit. None of it made sense, and Shaw was glad to have an address and some keys and a space of her own so she could forget about Root for a while.
The knock came again, and Root could almost swear it sounded… subdued. Root opened the door, and Shaw looked up at her seriously. Root smiled nervously, and the smile she received in return steadied her own.
Chicken stir fry, with jalapenos on the side.
Shaw eyed Root carefully, chewing a cashew. They both knew time was running out, that this… Shaw didn't want to think of this time, this place as a haven, but it had been. That they were running out of excuses to touch each other, in daylight.
"This is great. You coulda been a chef," Shaw said, breaking what would have been an awkward silence for any other two people.
"I like my life how it is, but thank you," Root said quietly.
"Don't you ever get tired of it? The endless aliases, the constant chase? Never knowing why you're doing something until after you've done it?"
"It's no different to my life before," Root shrugged. "Except now I have… people. To work with. And a cause, a purpose. And I like the spontaneity. I like trying to figure out the big picture."
Shaw nodded slowly, still chewing. Shaw missed her ISA days, but not the betrayals that had come with that. Root didn't lie to her. Finch and John were honest too. There were things she missed from before, shooting to kill being among them, but… Shaw had never understood why people formed groups, and now that the pay was gone she needed the machine to obscure her identity… she was in too deep, but her identity would at least get her on a plane and she could start somewhere new. She'd considered it a number of times, but hadn't made plans. Because what Root said rang true. She had a cause, a purpose here.
They both did.
"Seems a waste, though," Shaw said through her mouthful. Root reached over the table, covered Shaw's hand with her own.
"The way you appreciate it, it's not a waste. It's better than 5 Michelin stars." Root was sincere and subdued. Shaw didn't shrug her off, but Root took her hand back, dug listlessly at her own meal.
"I mean, it's a shame. All those people who don't get to enjoy this." Shaw speared a jalepeno slice, savoured it.
"It's just for you," Root said seriously, and Shaw didn't understand until she was unpacking her duffel in her new place, same as the old one; mattress on the floor and a fridge. Twizzlers and Nutella for Root. Home cooked meals for Shaw.
Shaw washed the dishes, put them away carefully.
"Thanks for the accommodation," she said stiffly. She moved to the couch, grabbed her duffel. "Well, I gotta go," she said, finally. Root handed her a bag of leftovers, almost let her leave. She let Shaw turn away from her before she faltered.
"Sameen," Root said quietly, and Shaw half-turned to Root, eyes averted.
"Don't," she whispered. "Don't ruin it."
There was no power imbalance now. Shaw had her own place.
Root stepped forward and Shaw looked up at her, but Root simply wrapped her arms around Shaw.
It was different, being held by Root while they were standing up. There were less… body parts involved, but more arms. Shaw dropped the duffel, the leftovers, put her hands on Root's ribs. Held her for a moment before she gently pushed Root towards the couch, steadied her on the back of it by her hips, considered Root a moment with her hands on Root's thighs, which parted as Shaw stepped between them. Root was breathless, curious as to what Shaw was up to, almost the same height now.
Then Shaw stepped forward, pressed her mouth against Root's, who didn't respond for a moment. Then Root opened her mouth, inexperienced, Shaw could tell immediately, but not disappointing.
She pushed forward, caught Root when she started to fall backwards, felt Root's hands finally reach around her to rest on her back, pull Shaw in closer to her. Her mouth was incredibly soft against Shaw's, but Shaw felt like she was taking something that hadn't been offered to her, hadn't realised the extent of Root's social isolation until she knew for sure that she wasn't familiar even with kissing. Sure, she was gamely going for it, and it wasn't the worst Shaw had had by far, but it threw her, that Root was… however old… and didn't… hadn't… she was willing enough to with Shaw right now, Shaw reasoned for a moment, then pulled away.
"I have to go," Shaw said carefully, hands moving up from Root's butt where she'd caught her, awkwardly hugging Root. She pulled back, looked at Root, kissed her again swiftly, let go, stepped away slowly. Picked up the things she'd dropped quickly, knowing that if Root asked her to stay she'd cave in a moment. But Root said nothing, watching Shaw carefully, fingers raised to her lips. Shaw struggled with the door, both hands full, so Root walked over, opened the door.
"Thanks," Shaw whispered, and slipped out past her.
In the subway Finch asked an innocent question.
"How'd you like the new place?" Finch asked, looking sideways at Reese. Not very subtle because of his condition, and Shaw rolled her eyes.
"It's fine," Shaw said quickly. "Where's the target?"
"Not too Spartan?" Finch asked, his question leading… somewhere, Shaw assumed.
"It's fine." Shaw repeated
"So you've been there?" John asked sardonically.
"What?" Shaw snapped.
"Well, we thought you might... want to stay on with Miss Groves," Finch said, flustered, and Shaw turned her steely gaze on him. "Given the money flow problems we are having, and the pay from your job… it would make sense financially," he continued, finishing with more conviction than he'd started with.
"It's a one bedroom apartment," Shaw said warningly.
"Floor's fine," Reese countered.
"Yeah but her couch isn't," Shaw snarked. Reese shrugged, slid the clip into his gun.
"We doing this?" He asked, and Shaw loaded her pistol, tucked it in her pants.
Notes:
So I just got my cardiology results and I'm cleared to fly - booked my tickets four days ago and I fly out to Canada in 10 days. So I'm not prepared at all. Got someone to look after my bird but not my system yet.
So, there's an episode in season 3 where John shows up at Shaw's hotel room and she'd barefoot with her hair down and short shorts and tight singlet, and I think that's just ruined me.
Please review if you liked, there is more coming but the schedule might be off.
I know I'm late to this fandom, and I would have loved to have been here sooner - but better late than never.
