Root slept a lot, that day, and Shaw was on hand to help her throw up on occasion and offer painkillers. Shaw had never been known for her bedside manner, but in this instance, now, with Root, she found herself hovering.
It wasn't just Samaritan, like she'd told Root. It wasn't just that. It was that Shaw had given up, long ago, on feeling something else for a human. She'd come close, with Cole. With Gen too, an instinct she didn't think she had rising to the surface both times. Protect, mostly. With just a little hint of... the emotions Shaw didn't think were possible. Not for her, anyway. And now that she was feeling something other than annoyance and disdain, now that she was feeling something adjacent to affection, she didn't know what to do with it, didn't know what to do with herself. She ended up pacing her small apartment, pausing on each pass near Root to look her over, then walk away, disgusted with herself.
Root had been so open with her attraction with Shaw, but it wasn't as easy as a one-night stand; Shaw wouldn't be able to just walk away from Root because they worked together, were in hiding together, relied on each other to stay hidden from Samaritan.
If it wasn't for Samaritan, maybe they could live separate lives. Maybe they could meet up every few months when they were in the same vicinity. But even as the thought entered her mind, Shaw knew it wouldn't be enough, not for Root.
And the attraction that Shaw felt for Root was new, and not just because Root was a women. Shaw was used to finding men attractive, but the realisation the Root was indeed hot, shooting two guns at once, tasing CIA agents, in disguise as everything under the sun, Root was hot and Shaw had no trouble recognising that, but the realisation came after Shaw realised that Root could mentally best her as well. It wasn't just physical, and that was the part that was unusual.
If this went poorly she'll have the hardest adversary to face; not just Root but also The Machine. How long would Shaw live, realistically, if she ditched Root after one argument? What was her expected lifespan now, anyway? On the run, under an alias, earning peanuts by touching other people's faces? Shaw shuddered, glad she had time off today. Root's face hadn't bothered her like that, and it annoyed Shaw that it hadn't.
If this went wrong, there won't be any more moments when Root looked at her... the way Root looked at her. Shaw had been storing those looks in her memory banks. Shaw knew her own worth, but seeing it reflected in Root's eyes was worth more than Shaw could articulate.
If this went wrong...
But if it didn't...
Shaw crouched next to the bed. If this were Bear, she would have no problem reaching out her hand and offering comfort, but it wasn't, and that's why it took so long for her hand to finally rest on Root's back. Shaw looked over and changed the music that had been playing, then found her hand moving hair out of Root's face, smoothing it back behind her ear. Shaw paused over the scar, the one she hadn't looked at since it had healed. She ran her fingers over the scar, tracing the lines of the stitches. Shaw knew she could have done a much better job, was still a jealous that Root had gone to someone else for medical work, especially when the end result looked so poor. Shaw ran her finger over the protrusion beneath the skin, felt the shape of the device.
"Please stop," Root said quietly, looking up at Shaw with lidded eyes.
"Never took you for ticklish," Shaw teased, fingers resting still behind Root's ear.
"The Machine - who hasn't spoken to me in days - asked me to tell you to stop tapping on the mike," Root said.
"Oh." Shaw withdrew her hand a little, let it rest on Root's cheek for a moment.
"I must be sick if you're being sweet to me," Root said, shifting a little more. Shaw took her hand back.
"Just checking the stitches. I could have done a better job, you know," Shaw said, pretending it was professional interest rather than personal.
"I know," Root said quietly. "And I'm glad it's you, now."
"Me too," Shaw said finally, once she was sure Root had fallen asleep again.
