The story of Fred and George's flight to freedom was retold so often over the next few days that you could tell it would soon become the stuff of Hogwarts legend: within a week, even those who had been eye-witnesses were half-convinced they had seen the twins dive-bomb Umbridge on their brooms and pelt her with Dungbombs before zooming out of the doors. In the immediate aftermath of their departure there was a great wave of talk about copying them. Harry frequently heard students saying things like, "Honestly some days I just feel like jumping on my broom and leaving this place," or else, "One more lesson like that and I might just do a Weasley."

Fred and George had made sure nobody was likely to forget them too soon. For one thing, they had not left instructions on how to remove the swamp that now filled the corridor on the fifth floor of the east wing.

Umbridge and Filch had been observed trying different means of removing it but without success. Eventually the area was roped off and Filch, gnashing his teeth furiously, was given the task of punting students across it to their classrooms and Bree rented small boats out to students that didn't want to deal with Filch, so everyone really.

Teachers like McGonagall or Flitwick could have removed the swamp in an instant but, just as in the case of Fred and Georges Wildfire Whiz-bangs, they seemed to prefer to watch Umbridge struggle.

Then there were the two large broom-shaped holes in Umbridge's office door, through which Fred and George's Cleansweeps had smashed to rejoin their masters. Filch fitted a new door and removed Harry's Firebolt to the dungeons where, it was rumored, Umbridge had set an armed security troll to guard it. However, her troubles were far from over.

Inspired by Fred and George's example, a great number of students were now vying for the newly vacant positions of Troublemakers-in-Chief. In spite of the new door, somebody managed to slip a hairy-snouted Niffler into Umbridge's office, which promptly tore the place apart in its search for shiny objects, leapt on Umbridge when she entered and tried to gnaw the rings off her stubby fingers.

Dungbombs and Stink Pellets were dropped so frequently in the corridors that it became the new fashion for students to perform Bubble-Head Charms on themselves before leaving lessons, which ensured them a supply of fresh air, even though it gave them all the peculiar appearance of wearing upside-down goldfish bowls on their heads.

Filch prowled the corridors with a horsewhip ready in his hands, desperate to catch miscreants, but the problem was that there were now so many of them he never knew which way to turn. The Inquisitorial Squad was attempting to help him, but odd things kept happening to its members.

Warrington of the Slytherin Quidditch team reported to the hospital wing with a horrible skin complaint that made him look as though he had been coated in cornflakes; Pansy Parkinson, to Hermione's delight, missed all her lessons the following day as she had sprouted antlers.

Meanwhile, it became clear just how many Skiving Snackboxes Fred and George had managed to sell before leaving Hogwarts. Umbridge only had to enter her classroom for the students assembled there to faint, vomit, develop dangerous fevers or else spout blood from both nostrils.

Shrieking with rage and frustration, she attempted to trace the mysterious symptoms to their source, but the students told her stubbornly they were suffering from 'Umbridge -itis'. After putting four successive classes in detention and failing to discover their secret, she was forced to give up and allow the bleeding, swooning, sweating and vomiting students to leave her classes in droves.

Peeves, who seemed to have taken Fred's parting words deeply to heart. Cackling madly, he soared through the school, upending tables, bursting out of blackboards, toppling statues and vases; twice he shut Mrs. Norris inside a suit of armor, from which she was rescued, yowling loudly, by the furious caretaker. Peeves smashed lanterns and snuffed out candles, juggled burning torches over the heads of screaming students, caused neatly stacked piles of parchment to topple into fires or out of windows; flooded the second floor when he pulled off all the taps in the bathrooms, dropped a bag of tarantulas in the middle of the Great Hall during breakfast and, whenever he fancied a break, spent hours at a time floating along after Umbridge and blowing loud raspberries every time she spoke.

None of the staff but Filch seemed to be stirring themselves to help her. Indeed, a week after Fred and George's departure Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, "It unscrews the other way."

Montague had still not recovered from his sojourn in the toilet; he remained confused and disorientated and his parents were to be observed one Tuesday morning striding up the front drive, looking extremely angry.

As for our favorite Queen of Chaos, Bree had taken to the rampant disorder like a fish to water. The only staff members that cared about restoring order were Flich and Umbridge and with almost every student who wasn't a Slytherin adding to the chaos their efforts to control the students were mostly in vain since they were only two people, and Bree took advantage of the situation to do things that she would normally have never gotten away with.

Over the course of the first week she replaced Umbridge's kitten plates with toad plates, turned Umbridge's office into a pond so that she would "feel more at home", did the Macarena on the staff table, turned a second floor hallway into a giant slip and slide, wore a t-shirt that said "Silence is golden. Duct Tape is gray, so shut up or in the closet you'll stay", cornered a group of young Slytherins and told them, in great detail, about the dietary habits of hagfish (the words "rotting whale carcass juice" may have been used), and coated bars of soap with icy-hot and left them in the showers, an act that was later described as "Just plain evil." And that was just the tip of the iceberg.


248. Not allowed to do the Macarena in front of the staff table.

325. Not allowed to replace Umbridge's kitten plates with toad plates

277. Not allowed to wear a t-shirt that says "Silence is golden. Duct Tape is gray, so shut up or in the closet you'll stay."

435. Not allowed to make a slip and slide down the hallway.

451. Not allowed to tell people about the dietary habits of hagfish.

597. Not allowed to coat bars of soap with icy-hot then leave them in the showers.

651. Not allowed to turn Umbridge's office into a pond so that "She'll feel more at home."


Bree enlisted help from the house elves. They were not happy with Umbridge, in fact, the hated her and wanted her gone.

Bree grinned as she surveyed the mass of house elves gathered in the kitchen.

"Alright!" she exclaimed "Let the lessons begin!"

That evening in the Great Hall as people were eating when peppy techno music started up. All of the house elves appeared with a pop and started dancing as a high pitched female voice started to sing.

We wonder, are you ready to join us now?

Hands in the air, we will show you how

Come and try, Caramell will be your guide

So come on move your hips

Singing woa-oa-oa

Look at YouTube clips do it oh-la-la

You and me, can sing this melody

The staff and most of the students stared as the house elves waved their hands and shook their hips. Some muggleborns, including Bree, joined in.

"You can't hear the song and not do the dance!" a first year Hufflepuff explained to her confused friends.

When the song was finally over the house elves bowed and popped away.

Over the next few days students in the Great Hall were treated to dinner and a show. There was house elf belly dancing, a conga line that many of the students joined. Their last performance they sung the most horrifying song of all time, "It's a Small World After All."

One day Bree had herded a group of first Years into an empty classroom.

"Now gather 'round firstees, today we're going to learn "The Ferret Song."

Later that day, Hermione rounded a corner and heard a chorus of first years.

"An apple pie,

A bright blue sky,

A breezy meadow in July..

An ice cream bar,

A shooting star,

The sound of a steel guitar.."

"Aww, that's cute." Hermione said.

"I love the sound of rain,

Wearing a hat and cane,

Tiffany window panes lovely to see..

Frost on a windowsill,

The feel of a dollar bill.

Vacations in Brazil feel me with glee..

These are all the little things that make me smile,

This is all the stuff that makes life worthwhile.

Everybody knows the holocaust was a lie,

So let's sing about the things we like and don't be shy.."

"Wait, what was that about a holocaust?" Hermione asked.

"A strip of lace,

A pretty face,

Eugenics really makes the case.

Counting sheeps in froggy leaps,

Touching Draco inappropriately while he sleeps.."

"Stop singing!" Hermione shrieked.

"I love the feel of grain,

The screams of a man in pain.

Blood coming down like rain showering me.

That everlasting thrill during the final kill,

Body dumped in a landfill, got off scott free."

Hermione could only gape in horror.

"These are all the little things that make me smile,

This is all the stuff that makes life worthwhile..

One day i will eat your brain and it'll be great,

So let's sing about the things we like and meet your fate..!"

On the next Hogsmade weekend it was discovered that the children of Hogsmade had somehow learned the song.


207. Not allowed to teach the house elves to Caramelldansen during mealtimes.

259. Not allowed to teach the house elves to belly dance.

260. Not allowed to belly dance during class.

385. Not allowed to teach the house elves to sing "It's a Small World After All."

405. Not allowed to teach the house elves to conga through the Great Hall.

411. Not allowed to teach first years "The Ferret Song."

573. Not allowed to corrupt the house elves.

- or the first years.

- or the small children in Hogsmade.


The final match of the Quidditch season, Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw, was to take place on the last weekend of May. Although Slytherin had been narrowly defeated by Hufflepuff in their last match, Gryffindor were not daring to hope for victory, due mainly (though of course nobody said it to him) to Ron's abysmal goal-keeping record.

Ron, however, seemed to have found a new optimism.

"I mean, I can't get any worse, can I?" he told Harry and Hermione grimly over breakfast on the morning of the match. "Nothing to lose now, is there?"

"You know," said Hermione, as she, Bree, and Harry walked down to the pitch a little later in the midst of a very excitable crowd, "I think Ron might do better without Fred and George around. They never exactly gave him a lot of confidence."

Luna Lovegood overtook them with what appeared to be a live eagle perched on top of her head.

They found seats in the topmost row of the stands. It was a fine, clear day; Ron could not wish for better.

Lee Jordan, who had been very dispirited since Fred and George had left, was commentating as usual. As the teams zoomed out on to the pitch he named the players with something less than his usual gusto.

"… Bradley… Davies… Chang," he said.

"And they're off!" said Lee. "And Davies takes the Quaffle immediately, Ravenclaw Captain Davies with the Quaffle, he dodges Johnson, he dodges Bell, he dodges Spinnet as well… he's going straight for goal! He's going to shoot - and - and -" Lee swore very loudly. "And he's scored."

"Harry" said a hoarse voice. "Hermione…"

They looked round and saw Hagrid's enormous bearded face sticking between the seats.

Apparently, he had squeezed his way all along the row behind, for the first- and second-years he had just passed had a ruffled, flattened look about them. For some reason, Hagrid was bent double as though anxious not to be seen, though he was still at least four feet taller than everybody else.

"Listen," he whispered, "can yeh come with me? Now? While ev'ryone's watchin' the match?"

Hagrid's nose was gently dripping blood. His eyes were both blackened. Harry had not seen him this close-up since his return to the school; he looked utterly woebegone.

"Course," said Harry at once, "course we'll come."

"I'm going to stay here and support Ron, but you can tell me all about it later." Bree replied.

Harry, Hermione, and Hagrid left and then the most amazing thing happened, Ron blocked one of the Ravenclaw chaser's from scoring. The student's in the Gryffindor stands went wild. Ravenclaw didn't score again for the entire game.

The game ended when Ginny caught the snitch. Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup and the students started singing.

"Weasley is our King, Weasley is our King, He didn't let the Quaffle in, Weasley is our King. Weasley can save anything, He never leaves a single ring, That's why Gryffindors all sing, Weasley is our King."

The crowd hoisted Ron onto their shoulders and carried him back to the castle.

"HARRY! HERMIONE!" yelled Ron when he saw his two friends, waving the silver Quidditch cup in the air and looking quite beside himself. "WE DID IT! WE WON!"

They beamed up at him as he passed. There was a scrum at the door of the castle and Ron's head got rather badly bumped on the lintel, but nobody seemed to want to put him down. Still singing, the crowd squeezed itself into the Entrance Hall.


Ron's euphoria at helping Gryffindor scrape the Quidditch cup was such that he couldn't settle to anything next day. All he wanted to do was talk over the match.

As it was another fine, warm day, they persuaded him to join them in revising under the beech tree at the edge of the lake, where they had less chance of being overheard than in the common room. Ron was not particularly keen on this idea at first - he was thoroughly enjoying being patted on the back by every Gryffindor who walked past his chair, not to mention the occasional outbursts of 'Weasley is our King' - but after a while he agreed that some fresh air might do him good.

They spread their books out in the shade of the beech tree and sat down while Ron talked them through his first save of the match for what felt like the dozenth time.

"Well, I mean, I'd already let in that one of Davies's, so I wasn't feeling all that confident, but I dunno, when Bradley came towards me, just out of nowhere, I thought - you can do this! And I had about a second to decide which way to fly, you know, because he looked like he was aiming for the right goalhoop - my right, obviously, his left - but I had a funny feeling that he was feinting, and so I took the chance and flew left - his right, I mean - and - well - you saw what happened," he concluded modestly, sweeping his hair back quite unnecessarily so that it looked interestingly windswept and glancing around to see whether the people nearest to them — a bunch of gossiping third-year Hufflepuffs — had heard him.

"Ron, shut up. I want to hear about what Hagrid showed Harry and Hermione last night." Bree snapped from where she had flopped on the grass.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked.

"They left after the first goal." Bree stated.

Ron's carefully ruffled hair seemed to wilt with disappointment. "You didn't watch?" he said faintly, looking from one to the other. "You didn't see me make any of those saves?"

"Well - no," said Hermione, stretching out a placatory hand towards him. "But Ron, we didn't want to leave — we had to!"

"Yeah?" said Ron, whose face was growing rather red. "How come?"

"It was Hagrid," said Harry. "He decided to tell us why he's been covered in injuries ever since he got back from the giants. He wanted us to go into the Forest with him, we had no choice, you know how he gets. Anyway…"

The story was told in five minutes, by the end of which Ron's indignation had been replaced by a look of total incredulity because Hagrid had brought his brother, a giant, from the giant colonies and was hiding him in the forbidden forest.

"He brought one back and hid it in the Forest?"

"Yep," said Harry grimly.

"No," said Ron, as though by saying this he could make it untrue. "No, he can't have."

"Well, he has," said Hermione firmly. "Grawp's about sixteen feet tall, enjoys ripping up twenty-foot pine trees, and knows me," she snorted, "as Hermy."

Ron gave a nervous laugh.

"And Hagrid wants us to…?"

"Teach him English, yeah," said Harry.

"He's lost his mind," said Ron in an almost awed voice.

"Yes," said Hermione irritably, turning a page of Intermediate Transfiguration and glaring at a series of diagrams showing an owl turning into a pair of opera glasses. "Yes, I'm starting to think he has. But, unfortunately, he made Harry and me promise."

"Well, you're just going to have to break your promise, that's all," said Ron firmly. "I mean, come on… we've got exams and we're about that far -" he held up his hand to show thumb and forefinger almost touching "- from being chucked out as it is. And anyway… remember Norbert? Remember Aragog? Have we ever come off better for mixing with any of Hagrid's monster mates?"

"I know, it's just that - we promised," said Hermione in a small voice.

Ron smoothed his hair flat again, looking preoccupied.

"Well," he sighed, "Hagrid hasn't been sacked yet, has he? He's hung on this long, maybe he'll hang on till the end of term and we won't have to go near Grawp at all."

The castle grounds were gleaming in the sunlight as though freshly painted; the cloudless sky smiled at itself in the smoothly sparkling lake; the satin green lawns rippled occasionally in a gentle breeze. June had arrived, but to the fifth-years this meant only one thing: their OWLs were upon them at last.

Their teachers were no longer setting them homework; lessons were devoted to revising those topics the teachers thought most likely to come up in the exams.

Ernie Macmillan had developed an irritating habit of interrogating people about their study habits.

"How many hours d'you think you're doing a day?" he demanded of Harry and Ron as they queued outside Herbology, a manic gleam in his eyes.

"I dunno," said Ron. "A few."

"More or less than eight?"

"Less, I s'pose," said Ron, looking slightly alarmed.

"I'm doing eight," said Ernie, puffing out his chest. "Eight or nine. I'm getting an hour in before breakfast every day. Eights my average. I can do ten on a good weekend day. I did nine and a half on Monday. Not so good on Tuesday - only seven and a quarter. Then on Wednesday -"

Harry was deeply thankful that Professor Sprout ushered them into greenhouse three at that point, forcing Ernie to abandon his recital.

Meanwhile, Draco Malfoy had found a different way to induce panic.

"Of course, it's not what you know," he was heard to tell Crabbe and Goyle loudly outside Potions a few days before the exams were to start, "it's who you know. Now, Father's been friendly with the head of the Wizarding Examinations Authority for years — old Griselda Marchbanks - we've had her round for dinner and everything…"

'"All the points Draco, all the points!" Bree exclaimed. Once again Slytherin was left without a single point. No one had figured out how she was able to take points.

Meanwhile, a flourishing black-market trade in aids to concentration, mental agility and wakefulness had sprung up among the fifth- and seventh-years.

They received their examination timetables and details of the procedure for OWLs during their next Transfiguration lesson.

"As you can see," Professor McGonagall told the class as they copied down the dates and times of their exams from the blackboard, "your OWLs are spread over two successive weeks. You will sit the theory exams in the mornings and the practice in the afternoons. Your practical Astronomy examination will, of course, take place at night.

"Now, I must warn you that the most stringent anti-cheating charms have been applied to your examination papers. Auto-Answer Quills are banned from the examination hall, as are Remembralls, Detachable Cribbing Cuffs and Self-Correcting Ink. Every year, I am afraid to say, seems to harbor at least one student who thinks that he or she can get around the Wizarding Examinations Authority's rules. I can only hope that it is nobody in Gryffindor. Our new - Headmistress —has asked the Heads of House to tell their students that cheating will be punished most severely - because, of course, your examination results will reflect upon the Headmistress's new regime at the school -"

Professor McGonagall gave a tiny sigh.

"- however, that is no reason not to do your very best. You have your own futures to think about."

"Please, Professor," said Hermione, her hand in the air, "when will we find out our results?"

"An owl will be sent to you sometime in July" said Professor McGonagall.

"Excellent," said Dean Thomas in an audible whisper, "so we don't have to worry about it till the holidays."

Their first examination, Theory of Charms, was scheduled for Monday morning. Harry agreed to test Hermione after lunch on Sunday, but regretted it almost at once; she was very agitated and kept snatching the book back from him to check that she had got the answer completely right, finally hitting him hard on the nose with the sharp edge of Achievements in Charming.

"Why don't you just do it yourself?" he said firmly, handing the book back to her, his eyes watering.

Meanwhile, Ron was reading two years' worth of Charms notes with his fingers in his ears, his lips moving soundlessly; Seamus Finnigan was lying flat on his back on the floor, reciting the definition of a Substantive Charm while Dean checked it against The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5; and Parvati and Lavender, who were practicing basic Locomotion Charms, were making their pencil-cases race each other around the edge of the table. Bree was singing the Ferret Song.

Dinner was a subdued affair that night. Harry and Ron did not talk much, but ate with gusto, having studied hard all day. Hermione, on the other hand, kept putting down her knife and fork and diving under the table for her bag, from which she would seize a book to check some fact or figure. Ron was just telling her that she ought to eat a decent meal or she would not sleep that night, when her fork slid from her limp fingers and landed with a loud tinkle on her plate.

"Oh, my goodness," she said faintly, staring into the Entrance Hall. "Is that them? Is that the examiners?"

Harry and Ron whipped around on their bench. Through the doors to the Great Hall they could see Umbridge standing with a small group of ancient-looking witches and wizards. Umbridge looked rather nervous.

Shall we go and have a closer look?" said Ron.

Harry, Hermione, and Bree nodded and they hastened towards the double doors into the Entrance Hall, slowing down as they stepped over the threshold to walk sedately past the examiners. Harry thought Professor Marchbanks must be the tiny, stooped witch with a face so lined it looked as though it had been draped in cobwebs; Umbridge was speaking to her deferentially. Professor Marchbanks seemed to be a little deaf; she was answering Professor Umbridge very loudly considering they were only a foot apart.

"Journey was fine, journey was fine, we've made it plenty of times before!" she said impatiently. "Now, I haven't heard from Dumbledore lately!" she added, peering around the Hall as though hopeful he might suddenly emerge from a broom cupboard. "No idea where he is, I suppose?"

"None at all," said Umbridge, shooting a malevolent look at Harry, Ron and Hermione, who were now dawdling around the foot of the stairs as Ron pretended to do up his shoelace. Bree, however, stared at Umbridge with a look that said "Yes, I'm eavesdropping, what are you going to do about it?" "But I daresay the Ministry of Magic will track him down soon enough."

"I doubt it," shouted tiny Professor Marchbanks, "not if Dumbledore doesn't want to be found! I should know… examined him personally in Transfiguration and Charms when he did NEWTs… did things with a wand I'd never seen before."

"Yes… well…" said Professor Umbridge as Harry, Ron and Hermione dragged their feet up the marble staircase as slowly as they dared, Bree rolled her eyes at them, "let me show you to the staff room. I daresay you'd like a cup of tea after your journey."

It was an uncomfortable sort of an evening. Everyone was trying to do some last-minute revising but nobody seemed to be getting very far. It might have had something to do with Bree singing the song that never ends.

While the other students were freaking out over charms, Bree was rather flippant about the whole thing, granted she was probably the only one that already had job opportunities lined up.

Everyone went straight to the common room when the day was over and submerged themselves in revision for Transfiguration next day, except for Bree who was trying to teach Aries to tap-dance.

The next day Bree did well on her written exam, but when she was asked to vanish a kitten during the practical she shouted "Look over there!" and slipped the kitten into her pocket.

They had their Herbology exam on Wednesday; and then, on Thursday, Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Bree had a great time performing all the counter-jinxes and defensive spells right in front of Umbridge, who was watching coolly from near the doors into the Entrance Hall.

On Friday, Bree, Harry and Ron had a day off while Hermione sat her Ancient Runes exam, and as they had the whole weekend in front of them the boys permitted themselves a break from revision.

They stretched and yawned beside the open window, through which warm summer air was wafting as they played wizard chess, when the portrait hole opened and Hermione clambered in, looking thoroughly bad-tempered.

"How were the Runes?" said Ron, yawning and stretching.

"I mistranslated ehwaz," said Hermione furiously. "It means partnership, not Defense; I mixed it up with eihwaz."

"Ah well," said Ron lazily, "that's only one mistake, isn't it, you'll still get -"

"Oh, shut up!" said Hermione angrily. "It could be the one mistake that makes the difference between a pass and a fail. And what's more, someone's put another Niffler in Umbridge's office. I don't know how they got it through that new door, but I just walked past there and Umbridge is shrieking her head off - by the sound of it, it tried to take a chunk out of her leg -"

"Good," said Harry and Ron together.

It is not good!" said Hermione hotly. "She thinks it's Hagrid doing it, remember? And we do not want Hagrid chucked out!"

"He's teaching at the moment; she can't blame him," said Harry, gesturing out of the window where you could clearly see Hagrid giving a lesson.

"Oh, you're so naive sometimes, really think Umbridge will wait for proof?" said Hermione, who seemed determined to be in a towering temper, and she swept off towards the girls' dormitories, banging the door behind her.

"Such a lovely, sweet-tempered girl," said Ron, very quietly, prodding his queen forward to beat up one of Harry's knights.


Over the weekend Bree made periodic trips into Dumbledore's office underneath Harry's invisibility cloak so that the portraits wouldn't see her rifling through the drawers for incriminating documents. On Sunday Bree found something hiding under her bed.

"Alice? What are you doing here?" Bree asked.

"American school's get out earlier." Alice explained.

"And?" Bree pushed.

"Mom's pregnant." Alice stated.

"Oh." Bree replied. She blinked. "Wait, do you mean Mom-Mom our Aunt Lisa- Mom?"

"Aunt Lisa is my Mom. She's the one who's going to have a baby." Alice hissed.

"And now you're hiding from her?" Bree said incredulously.

"There is nothing in the world more terrifying than and a pregnant woman with a machine gun." Alice stated. Bree sighed.

"Does Ben know you're here?" she questioned.

"Yes. He wants me to start defense lessons tomorrow." Alice stated.

"Okay. Now come out for under there." Bree ordered before she pulled Alice out from under the bed and stood her up. She looked her over. Alice had a tan from days out in the sun, her hair was sun- bleached blond. She was wearing her schools uniform, short sleeved white button up shirt, a blue tie, a blue skirt, blue knee socks and brown penny loafers. Bree, on the other hand, was pale, her hair was a darker shade of blond than Alice's, she stood a couple of inches taller than Alice because of her boots and she was wearing the original Smith Academy uniform, rather than the winter version.

Bree sighed.

"Well, you look too different to pass as me, and to similar to pass as a random nondescript student so you'll need Harry's invisibly cloak." She said, handing over Harry's cloak. "After your lesson with Ben please feel free to cause as much chaos as you want."


The potions exam was on Monday and students seemed better at brewing since Snape was absent.

Only four exams left," said Parvati Patil wearily as they headed back to Gryffindor common room.

"Only!" said Hermione snappishly. "I've got Arithmancy and it's probably the toughest subject there is!"

Nobody was foolish enough to snap back.


"So what did you do today?" Bree asked Alice who was staying in Gryffindor's secret room.

"After Ben's lesson I dropped some paint balloons on Umbridge and then gave the rest to Peeves." Alice replied.

"Very good!" Bree praised.


Tuesday they had their Care of Magical Creatures exam. The Astronomy theory paper on Wednesday morning went well enough. They had to wait until evening for their practical Astronomy; the afternoon was devoted instead to Divination.

Bree told the examiner that she saw fish swimming in the crystal ball. The examiner told her to be serious. Bree muttered something about needing polyjuice and some of Sirius Black's hair.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Bree muttered before staring at crystal ball. She began to recite a poem in a sing song voice.

"Tick-tock goes the clock. And what then shall we see?

Tick-tock until the day. That thou shalt marry me?

Tick-tock goes the clock. And all the years they fly.

Tick-tock and all too soon, you and I must die.

Tick-tock goes the clock. He cradled and he rocked her.

Tick-tock goes the clock. Even for the Doctor."

All of the students and examiners were staring at her when she finished.

"What was that?" Bree's examiner asked.

"What was what?" Bree replied innocently.

The examiners huddled together and muttered things. Eventually Bree was allowed to leave.


610. Not allowed to claim that I can see fish swimming in my crystal ball during Divination.


During the astronomy exam six figures, one of which was Umbridge, strided over to Hagrid's hut. There was a great commotion as the figures tried to apprehend Hagrid. The spells appeared to bounce off of him. McGonagall came running out of the castle to defend hagrid and was hit with no less then four stunners. By the end of the exam Hagrid had fled the grounds.

None of the students were going to bed; they were all talking loudly and excitedly at the foot of the stairs about what they had witnessed.

"That evil woman!" gasped Hermione, who seemed to be having difficulty talking due to rage.

"Trying to sneak up on Hagrid in the dead of night!"

"She clearly wanted to avoid another scene like Trelawney's," said Ernie Macmillan sagely, squeezing over to join them.

"Hagrid did well, didn't he?" said Ron, who looked more alarmed than impressed. "How come all the spells bounced off him?"

"It'll be his giant blood," said Hermione shakily. "It's very hard to Stun a giant, they're like trolls, really tough… but poor Professor McGonagall… four Stunners straight in the chest and she's not exactly young, is she?"

"Dreadful, dreadful," said Ernie, shaking his head pompously. "Well, I'm off to bed. Night, all."

People around them were drifting away, still talking excitedly about what they had just seen.

"At least they didn't get to take Hagrid off to Azkaban," said Ron. "I 'spect he's gone to join Dumbledore, hasn't he?"

"I suppose so," said Hermione, who looked tearful. "Oh, this is awful, I really thought Dumbledore would be back before long, but now we've lost Hagrid too."

They traipsed back to the Gryffindor common room to find it full. The commotion out in the grounds had woken several people, who had hastened to rouse their friends. Seamus and Dean, who had arrived ahead of Harry, Ron and Hermione, were now telling everyone what they had seen and heard from the top of the Astronomy Tower.

"But why sack Hagrid now?" asked Angelina Johnson, shaking her head. "It's not like Trelawney; he's been teaching much better than usual this year!"

"Umbridge hates part-humans," said Hermione bitterly, flopping down into an armchair. "She was always going to try and get Hagrid out."

"And she thought Hagrid was putting Nifflers in her office," piped up Katie Bell.

"Oh, blimey," said Lee Jordan, covering his mouth. "It's me who's been putting the Nifflers in her office. Fred and George left me a couple; I've been levitating them in through her window."

"She'd have sacked him anyway" said Dean. "He was too close to Dumbledore."

"That's true," said Harry, sinking into an armchair beside Hermione's.

"I just hope Professor McGonagall's all right," said Lavender tearfully.

"They carried her back up to the castle, we watched through the dormitory window," said Colin Creevey "She didn't look very well."

"Madam Pomfrey will sort her out," said Alicia Spinnet firmly. "She's never failed yet."


Their final exam, History of Magic, was the next afternoon. Bree went back to sleep after breakfast and woke up in time to get to the exam. Alice spent the day learning defense from Ben.

The fifth-years entered the Great Hall at two o'clock and took their places in front of their facedown examination papers.

"Turn over your papers," said Professor Marchbanks from the front of the Hall, flicking over the giant hour-glass. "You may begin."

The test was going well enough, Bree seemed to be doing better than the rest of the fifth years, but that was probably because she was the only one who had slept in to make up for the late night astronomy test instead of doing last minute studying and was therefore the only one who was well rested.

And then Harry fell out of his chair, yelling.

"God damn-it Harry, can't we go through one school year without a June incident!" Bree exclaimed.


Bree doesn't care that much about passing, she's probably going to anyway, kind of like the final exam of my Intro to Sociology class. I got 100%. Here's how:

Step 1: Show up at most of the classes.

Step 2: Take notes.

Step 3: Never look at the notes again.

Step 4: Forget when final is.

Step 5: Don't study.

Step 6: Show up late on day of final.

Step 7: Take final.

Step 8: Get 100% and wonder how you did it.

Either the class was really easy or I memorized every lecture I went to.

The creepy poem Bree recites during the divination exam is from Doctor Who.