Lexi sat in the cafeteria with Jules, the two were waiting for Rue to join them for lunch. Jules was probably the nicest and most charismatic person Lexi had ever encountered; she had an ethereal air around her that was pure and raw at the same time. Lexi now looked back at her first impression of her now friend, and felt ashamed and stupid for having been so envious of the strong bond that Rue had quickly formed with Jules, she later understood that it had had nothing to do with her previous fallout as best friends with Rue, quite the contrary, the girl had even helped them to slowly get back in touch, it was hard not to be enamored with Jules.
"How have you been?" Lexi asked.
Jules had always been a mental health advocate, so since day one she had openly mentioned going to therapy and how much it helped her, Lexi had always considered asking about more information, but never really got to do it.
One day during school Lexi hid inside a supply closet overwhelmed by stress, she found Jules going through the same problem, they didn't question each other and instead helped each other to calm down through breathing exercises, ever since, they constantly made sure to check on the other's mental health.
"Better" the girl took a deep breath "that whole New York/Rue thing, triggered a lot of personal things, but I'm healing and very glad that Rue and I have a second chance to make things right"
"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that alone" Rue's health had been the biggest concern for everyone, it hadn't even crossed Lexi's mind how Jules had handled things, and the responsibility she must have carried by being Rue's motivation to stay sober "I know we aren't very close, but you're my friend too"
Jules smiled "Thank you, Lexi. I love Rue, but I'm glad I found on my own some really cool and supportive friends here"
The two chuckled, and Jules brought out the play.
"I can't believe you're directing it" Jules congratulated her "I just know that it's going to be the most fucking exciting thing that's going to happen this year"
"Thank you" she smiled "we have lots of things to work on, but I'm really excited"
Jules shared an excited squeal and placed her arm around Lexi's shoulders to give her a side hug "Hey, I could totally help with wardrobe design and maybe give you some ideas for makeup, if you'd let me"
"Really? You would do that?" She was so overwhelmed by the sentiment.
"Lexi, I would fucking love to!" Jules exclaimed, if she was good at something it was styling.
"I'm going to have a chat with Matt- Oh, you know Matt? Cool, he's in charge of the costumes, but we really could use the help of an actual fashion designer"
Jules grinned and scrunched her nose after hearing the words: actual fashion designer. "Oh Lexi, you really know how to woo a lady. I'm in"
The two laughed and began to cheerfully plan their collaboration. Lexi explained the plot and the inspiration behind it, and instead of being horrified by the thin line between fiction and reality, Jules was thrilled and very inspired, she was happy to have a project to work and focus her energy on, so she promised to work on a mood board for every character and work closely with Matt as soon as Lexi sent her the script.
"Can I ask for a small favor, though?" Lexi added once the bell rang announcing the end of their lunchtime. Rue never joined them.
"Sure"
"I want to keep the plot as a surprise, it's already been difficult enough to make sure no one denounces it to the principal. I really don't want anyone trying to stop it from happening, it's not my intention to upset anyone. I just-"
"Hey, don't worry about it" Jules promised with a smile and as she stood up announced "your truth might not be universal, but it's yours. Portraying one's art is an artist's responsibility, and you're that bitch"
The encounter had left Lexi feeling understood and validated. There was no doubt, Jules was a fucking ethereal being.
Rue sat on his kitchen counter eating cereal like she fucking lived there, he sure loved that annoying girl.
"You didn't do something fucking stupid, did you?" he asked meaning her genius drug selling idea.
"Me?" she smirked; her movements were slower than usual; she was fucking high "when have I ever done something stupid?"
He rolled his eyes "You sure you only doing weed?"
"California sober" one hand on her chest and the other up in the air, as if she was pronouncing an oath "I do appreciate the concern though"
"Hadn't seen you in a while now" he pointed out.
She put down the finished cereal bowl and pressed her lips "I just been hanging out with Jules"
"How's Jewel doing?" Fez lit up a blunt.
"Jules, Fez"
"That's what I fucking said, Jewel"
Rue laughed "She's doing good. I really can't believe we're back together, really thought we would never speak again"
"That break up sure fucked you up" he remembered Rue's bloodshot eyes confessing she had relapsed and needed a place to crash while she sobered down and went back home.
The two had laid down on his couch in silence with some random movie playing. After a while, Rue finally told him about Jules leaving her in the train station. It had broken his heart to see her so helpless, and for a whole month he was worried she might end things for real, so he tried taking her mind off things by inviting her along to hang, and even some work-related stuff, anything to keep an eye on Rue and make sure she didn't do something stupid. Fez wasn't an expert on depression or handling things, but he knew Rue was a good person who deserved happiness, and uncountable chances to better her life.
"I tried hating her, you know? Wanted to find a good enough reason to stop loving her, but I never could" Rue smiled despite her somber expression.
"I'm happy if you're happy, bro" he began saying, she clearly wasn't, but that was something she needed to realize on her own "shit's been difficult for you, and you deserve a break, so promise you gonna take care of yourself. Can't be looking after your ass forever"
"All is good" she assured him "I've even made a new friend; he's got nothing on you though"
Fez chuckled and took another hit of the blunt "I ain't jealous, just wanna know you hanging out with decent people"
"Always" she promised.
"I'm fucking worried about Rue" Fez's voice confessed from the phone's speaker.
Lexi was back from the play's rehearsal, and he called as soon as she let him know she was available. It was strange, how calling each other was now part of both their lives, sometimes it went from a 10-20 minute call when one of them was busy, to a long 2-3 hour one, either way, they both sought to include each other in their day-to-day lives.
"That's exactly what I was going to say" Lexi frowned, she sat in her dining room staying away from her mother and Cassie "is everything okay? What happened?"
"She came over, said she was doing weed and was happy with Jewel and life. I ain't lying when I say she looks like shit" he explained.
She bit her tongue before speaking "Yeah, I've thought so too. She looks fine enough when she's with Jules, but I haven't seen them hang as much as they did last year"
"You know anything about her new friend? A dude or something" he asked again, protective older sibling energy.
"I've seen her around some guy, but I honestly don't know his name. I'm sorry, I barely talk to people"
That made him chuckle "Nah, you're cool. Just feel like she's not letting us help her"
"I've learned that it's not personal, Rue just tends to ghost people"
"Ghost?" he asked confused.
"Yeah, like, ghosting."
"What's that?"
"When friends or love interests stop replying to texts, or any form of communication without giving any warning, or explanation" she answered, how come had he never heard about it?
"Ah" Fez let out "that's fucking disrespectful"
"Yeah, but you've never ghosted anyone? Or been ghosted?"
"Fuck no. I only give my number to people I wanna talk to and know they wanna talk to me. Work doesn't count, right?" he sounded offended in the name of all victims of ghosting.
"No" she chuckled "work-ghosting is completely justified"
"What about you?"
"Ghosting? No. I don't really have a lot of online or social interaction with new people, and the need to avoid them" she explained "I only justify it when Cassie has had to ghost perverts, but in general I think it's sad that with all the progress technology has achieved, we still haven't learned how to properly communicate with each other, like we're wasting precious opportunities some people from older times would have died for"
"You mean like people only having letters before?"
"Yeah" Lexi laid back on her bed "I've always imagined people only having contact with loved ones through letters, and how they must have felt when they stopped receiving them... Can you imagine? Losing complete trace of someone you cared and loved, for the rest of your life? Never knowing if they were dead, or sick, or simply changed their minds and wanted to stop replying"
"Not gonna lie, that was fucking sad, Lexi" he let out "you got me thinking about people going to war and never coming back. Family's having hope and shit, but never knowing what happened to their child"
"Fez...that was even sadder and kind of dark" she chuckled. The two laughed at their fictionalized tragedies "you've ever written a letter?"
"Nah, you? You like letters?"
"I only wrote letters to my dad before he left for good, so that kind of left me with a bad aftertaste, but I haven't forgotten what you said"
"What I said?" he was confused.
"About owning back shit" she reminded him "not letting bad experiences taint what we love"
"Yo, those are definitely words I've never said" he laughed "but yeah, you got the idea, proud to be part of the contribution. See? Now you got me saying fancy shit. Hanging out with you's got my brain wilding" he added.
Lexi wasn't sure if that had been a compliment or just a small joke, she didn't know Fez was blushing and cursing under his breath at how corny that last part was, especially since he hadn't really planned on saying that out loud.
"In a good way?" she bit her tongue as soon as the question fled her mouth, could she stop sounding so desperate for validation? Just for fucking five minutes, ugh.
"Lexi" he began, his tone soft but firm "why you even asking that?"
"I just meant-" she cleared her throat and pulled herself back from embarrassment in the best way she could do, humor based on unresolved insecurity "course it's in a good way, what would you ever do without me?"
Fez laughed and she joined soon after feeling a little less embarrassed.
"That's more like it" he agreed.
Self-doubt was not an easy thing to put behind, but at least she was now capable of identifying when she overstepped that line and really appreciated Fez's support. He wasn't trying to take advantage of her vulnerability or a "savior complex"; he helped by listening, by being there, by being the real him with the real her.
