Sorry that this took awhile, but my motivation is tied directly tp the number of reviews I get.


Bree stretched out in the back of her Aunt Lisa's limo. The driver was a burly man with a scar over one on. In the back with Bree were Lisa, Lisa's body guards, Rita, and Percy.

"So it's looking like Fudge isn't going to be Minister for much longer." Bree commented.

"Yes. It seems that just about everyone in Britain is calling for this dismissal." Percy replied.

"So there's nothing for us to do on that front. His career is sunk." Lisa stated.

"What about Umbridge?" Bree asked.

"She's resumed her job at the ministry." Percy replied.

Bree frowned. "Well that's no good." She said. "A woman with her personality and ideals can cause a lot a lot of problems if she's successful in the ministry."

"So do we sabotage her job, or do we end her life?" Lisa asked her niece.

"Hmm, sabotage would add too many unnecessary risks to the lives of or ministry insiders when they're already taking so many just gathering information." Bree answered. "Killing her would be quite a bit easier… Poison would be the least obvious." Lisa watched her niece as Bree thought out a solution to the problem.

"Arsenic can mimic certain illnesses, the problem with that though is you have to keep administering it… Something that you only have to get her to take once... hmm, how about puffer fish toxin?" she suggested.

"Puffer fish toxin?" Rita questioned.

"It's a neurotoxin. Basically, it causes paralysis. Well, no actually, it's a bit more complex than that. It's known to cause quite a bit more than that. It can cause headaches, excessive drooling, convulsions, respiratory distress, respiratory failure, convulsions, inability to speak, incoordination, numbness and tingling, mental impairment, vomiting, diarrhea, irregular heartbeat and cardiac arrest. It's faster than arsenic, but still causes suffering." Bree explained.

Rita stared at her. "You're like an encyclopedia of all things horrible, aren't you?" she said after a moment.

"That's one way to put it I suppose." Bree said. "But really I just know to much."

"What do we do about Dumbledore?" Lisa asked. "He's back in favor with the public, as if the fact he was right about this one thing makes up for every mistake he's made." She said disgustedly.

"Yes, well, people are very fickle." Bree replied.

"She I know, as long as they have someone to vilify they're happy, and right now Fudge is filling that role. We'd have to dig up something really shocking to put focus back on Dumbledore." Lisa responded.

"Maybe not." Bree murmured. She got some curious looks. "I was saying earlier on the train, Dumbledore has gotten quite old, he's been at this for a very long time… Instead of focusing on a shocking story all we need to focus on a single question." She said.

"What question?" Rita asked.

"Don't you think Dumbledore is looking tired?" Bree asked.


Percy sighed as he entered his apartment. Back when he was a Prefect at Hogwarts he had been forced to deal with Bree's antics almost daily. Her pranks had been playful, not malicious, and sure she would get revenge for something, but she had never injured anyone.

And now she was plotting a murder and her family was encouraging her.

"This is so messed up." Percy muttered. He just wanted to go to sleep. He disrobed at got ready for bed. Problem was there was already someone in it.

"Alice! What are you doing here!" Percy exclaimed.

"Reading." Alice answered, holding up her book. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" she asked.

"I sleep without a shirt- That's not the point! Why aren't you at your house, in your own bed, reading your own book!" Percy said.

"Mom's pregnant. Daddy said he wishes he could go into hiding until the baby's born like he did last time, but with the whole Dark Lord thing he has to stay put. I heard that the Russians have gone into hiding too, after what happened last time. So decided it come hide out here." Alice explained.

"Why here?" Percy questioned. "Why me?"

"Can't stay with Bree, and you're the only one that has never mistaken me for her." Alice answered. "Anyway, Daddy said it's okay as long as I tell you that he says "Try anything with her and you'll be less of a man." Whatever that means."

There was a long moment of silence. Percy left the bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked.

"To sleep on the sofa." Percy replied.

Percy sighed as he got comfortable. His life was being taken over by Bree's family. Alice didn't have the same sort of darkness and malice that Bree had developed over the last year. She was still like Bree, but they weren't exactly alike as they had first been. Alice was more innocent then Bree. He wondered if Vince had allowed Alice to stay at Percy's apartment to keep it that way.


On July Third, Bree was home alone and her parents were at work, though they had wished their daughter a happy birthday and shared a secretive smile over something. Bree hoped that they hadn't planned anything for her birthday, because she already had plans that involved sitting on the couch watching TV.

The doorbell rang. Bree sighed and got up to answer it. She found the twins standing on her doorstep.

"What are you two doing here?" she asked.

"What kind of guy would I be if I forgot my girlfriend's birthday?" George answered.

"George," Bree began, "you really don't have to-"

"Of course I do!" George interrupted, grabbing Bree and pulling her to his side before they Apparated to the Burrow. As soon as they arrived Fleur, Ginny and Tonks grabbed Bree and dragged her into Ginny's bedroom. There were shouts of "What do you think you're doing?", "Hold still!", and "This would be easier for all of us if you'd just cooperate!" before Bree was shoved out of the room wearing a blue dress.

Bree blinked. "I feel confused and violated." She stated. The twins chuckled.

"Come on, we've got a surprise for you." Fred said as he and George led her outside.

There had been a large tent put up in the yard. It had been lavishly decorated inside and out. There were tables set up, and there was a stage for a band.

"What's this all for?" Bree asked.

"For your birthday of course." George replied.

"Sirius has been planning this for months." Fred explained.

"Why?" Bree asked.

"To make up for all the horrible birthdays you've had since you were nine." A voice explained from behind them. They turned and found Sirius, Remus, and Harry walking up.

"And to blow as much money as possible." Sirius continued.

"He wanted to rent a dragon." Remus sighed.

"You didn't let him?" Bree asked disappointedly.

"There isn't a service that rents dragons!" Remus exclaimed.

"Well, not legally anyway." Sirius said.

"How much do the illegal ones cost?" Bree inquired.

Sirius was about to answer so Remus cast a silencing charm on him.

The guests started arriving and it became apparent that everyone Bree knew had been invited. Gifts piled up on one of the tables, the most expensive foods were served and then the Weird Sisters appeared on the stage and the tables were pushed to the sides to make room for dancing.

After about an hour there was a break for cake, made by Mrs. Weasley, to be served.

"Did you hear about Umbridge?" Hermione asked.

"No, what?" Bree asked before taking a bite of her cake.

"Yesterday she fell ill in the Ministry and then died at the hospital." Harry explained.

"And the world became a better place." Said George.

"Just in time for my birthday too." Bree remarked.

After some more talking Bree found out that Fleur was at the Burrow because she was engaged to Bill. They had met after Fleur had started working part-time at Grinngotts and had been dating for a year before Bill proposed.

There was fireworks display, courtesy of the twins, and an acrobatic performance by the magical equivalent of Cirque du Soleil. Afterwards, dancing resumed and as the evening dragged on guests began to leave.

"So what do you think?" George asked Bree as they slow danced on the mostly empty dance floor. "A definite improvement over your other birthdays, right?"

"Yeah." Bree answered. "It was amazing." She kissed him.


The next day two Unspeakables met with Aunt Lisa. That had suggested that Bree needed to be guarded at all times. Lisa took this about as well as she had when Dumbledore suggested it.

"It not the Death Eaters we're worried about." A dark haired male, code named Wolf, assured her.

"What then?" Lisa snapped.

"You know that there are things in the universe far more dangerous than most can imagine, and they have all been stopped by one man. If those forces find out about the wealth of information inside of your nieces had, they'll target her and find a way to extract the information from her head just so they can destroy the Doctor." A blond woman, code name Fox, explained.

"Do you really think that I didn't consider that possibility? That I haven't been preparing for it?" Lisa asked. "I've had Ben teach her how to kill anything that may come after her, I've trained my people how to kill those same things, I've stockpiled an arsenal of weapons, I've come up with emergency plans for every scenario, do you really think I need your help?"

"You can't possibly account for every-" Wolf began to protest but was cut off.

"I am prepared to burn the world if it means keeping my family safe." Lisa stated.


Bree's family reunion for the American half of the family took place a few days after her birthday. When she arrived she found that there was plastic covering the floors of the first level of the family house and two of the walls in the living room, aka the room with the cigar smoking ghost, had been torn up. The renovations were supposed to be done before the reunion, but the work had been delayed by accidents.

Except that they weren't accidents. The cigar smoking ghost was not very happy about his house being disturbed. Instead of just being confined to one room as it had been in the past, the entire first floor was full of cigar smoke. The smoke was thickest in the living room. It was so thick in fact, that even the non-magical members of Bree's family were able to pick up whiffs of it.

Bree was miserable. Every time she walked into the house the smoke would invade her lungs and make her cough and wheeze.

"The ghost?" Wes asked.

Bree nodded. "He's not happy about the renovations. Filled the entire first floor with smoke." She said.

"That's him right?" Wes asked, pointing to the picture Bree had once pointed out when describing the cigar smoking ghost.

"Yeah, that's him." Bree confirmed.

"Old Aunt Ruth will know who he is." Wes said as he picked up the picture. "You go out and get some fresh air." Bree did just that.

Later that day, after lunch, Bree had been conscripted into helping wash the dishes. The kitchen was the room with the least amount of smoke in it. It was therefore the only room on the first floor that Bree found tolerable.

Meanwhile an electrician was working on rewiring the living room. The electricity was shut off in that room for safety. Smoke began to build up as the ghost grew more and more unhappy. Bree began coughing and choking as smoke flooded the room.

"Hey, are you alright?" Wally, who had also been forced to wash dishes, asked.

Bree didn't, couldn't, answer. She stumbled out the kitchen door and onto the back porch. The fresh air was a relief.

"Should I get someone?" Wally asked worriedly.

Bree shook her head. "No. I'm fine." She said. There was a scream from inside the house. Wally looked back at Bree to make sure she would be alright before running into the house.

Bree found out later that the electrician had been electrocuted. He was rushed to the hospital where he would was expected to recover, but he would have heart problems for the rest of his life.

That afternoon Wes came up to Bree carrying two shovels.

"Catch." He said, tossing one of them to Bree. She caught it and gave him a questioning look.

"I found the ghost. His name is Edgar Smith. He's buried in an old family plot not too far from here. We're going to take care of him before he kills someone." Wes explained.

"Alright." Bree replied.

An hour later and the two could be found digging up their dead relative's grave. Smoke began to swirl around the grave. Bree pulled a bag of salt out of one of the hidden bigger-on-the-inside compartments hidden in her boots along with a couple of iron rods. She was put on guard duty which meant swinging an iron bar at the ghost of Edgar whenever he appeared while Wes finished digging up the grave.

Bree dispelled Edgar twice before the ghost wised up and smothered her with smoke until she collapsed to her knees. She passed out just as Wes got the coffin open.


"Bree! Bree!" Wes shouted as Bree regained consciousness. Edgar's body was burning nearby.

"I overlooked the fact that being more sensitive to ghosts would make you more vulnerable as well." Wes stated as Bree sat up.

"Once I'm of age I'll be able to use magic against the supernatural." Bree replied.

"If you're really interested in hunting we can start doing bigger jobs after you graduate, and if you're not, at least you know how to defend yourself." Wes said as he started filling in the grave.

"Yeah, being on the move all the time, fighting monsters day after day, I don't think I'm suited for it." Bree replied.

"Not many are." Wes stated.

Weeks later, long after the reunion was over, a skeleton was found under the floorboards in the living room. It belonged to Edgar's abusive son-in-law.


The day after Bree got home she went to Diagon Alley to visit twins at their shop. Aunt Lisa had sent Fiona and Ben to guard her. There had been disappearances from the Alley and there had been three attacks on muggles that had been explained as two bridge collapses and a hurricane. Dementors were breeding in the center of London, covering the city in a cold mist and putting the citizens into gloomy moods.

The Alley had changed. The colorful, glittering window displays of spellbooks, potion ingredients, and cauldrons were lost to view, hidden behind the large Ministry of Magic posters that had been pasted over them. Most of these somber purple posters carried blown-up versions of the security advice on the Ministry pamphlets that had been sent out over the summer, but others bore moving black-and-white photographs of Death Eaters known to be on the loose. A few windows were boarded up, including those of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. On the other hand, a number of shabby-looking stalls had sprung up along the street.

Nobody was stopping to talk anymore; the shoppers stayed together in their own tightly knit groups, moving intently about their business. Nobody seemed to be shopping alone.

Set against the dull, poster-muffled shop Fronts around them, Fred and Georges windows hit the eye like a firework display.

Casual passersby were looking back over their shoulders at the windows, and a few rather stunned-looking people had actually come to a halt, transfixed. The left-hand window was dazzlingly full of an assortment of goods that revolved, popped, flashed, bounced, and shrieked; Harrys eyes began to water just looking at it. The right-hand window was covered with a gigantic poster, purple like those of the Ministry, but emblazoned with flashing yellow letters:

WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT

YOU-KNOW-WHO?

YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT

U-NO-POO —

THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION

THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!

"Your boyfriend has a death wish." Fiona commented appreciatively.

Bree led the way into the shop. It was packed with customers; Harry could not get near the shelves. He stared around, looking up at the boxes piled to the ceiling: Here were the Skiving Snackboxes that the twins had perfected during their last, unfinished year at Hogwarts. The Nosebleed Nougat was most popular, with only one battered box left on the shelf. There were bins full of trick wands, the cheapest merely turning into rubber chickens or pairs of briefs when waved, the most expensive beating the unwary user around the head and neck, and boxes of quills, which came in Self-Inking, Spell-Checking, and Smart-Answer varieties. A space cleared in the crowd, and Bree pushed her way toward the ascending the steps to a real set of gallows, both perched on a box that read: Reusable hangman - counter, where a gaggle of delighted ten-year-olds was watching a tiny little wooden man slowly spell it or he'll swing!

"It certainly is busy here." Ben stated.

"Yeah, they're doing really well." Bree stated, as she set of to look for the twins elsewhere in the shop.

She found George wearing a set of magenta robes that clashed magnificently with his flaming hair.

"Bree! How was the family reunion?" he asked.

"Same old, same old." Bree replied.

"A ghost tried to kill you." Ben pointed out.

"Wes took care of it, then everything went back to normal." Bree responded.

"You're going to have to tell me about that later." George said. "For now I'll give you a tour of the shop."

"Muggle magic tricks!" said George happily, pointing them out. "For freaks like Dad, you know, who love Muggle stuff. It's not a big earner, but we do fairly steady business, they're great novelties… Oh, here's Fred…"

"Giving her the tour? Come through the back, Bree, that's where we're making the real money." Fred said.

He pushed back a curtain beside the Muggle tricks and revealed a darker, less crowded room. The packaging on the products lining these shelves was more subdued.

"We've just developed this more serious line," said Fred. "Funny how it happened…"

"You wouldn't believe how many people, even people who work at the Ministry, can't do a decent Shield Charm," said George. "'Course, they didn't have Harry teaching them."

"That's right… Well, we thought Shield Hats were a bit of a laugh, you know, challenge your mate to jinx you while wearing it and watch his face when the jinx just bounces off. But the Ministry bought five hundred for all its support staff! And we're still getting massive orders!"

"So we've expanded into a range of Shield Cloaks, Shield Gloves…"

"… I mean, they wouldn't help much against the Unforgivable Curses, but for minor to moderate hexes or jinxes…"

"And then we thought we'd get into the whole area of Defense Against the Dark Arts, because it's such a money spinner," continued George enthusiastically. "This is cool. Look, Instant Darkness Powder, we're importing it from Peru. Handy if you want to make a quick escape."

"And our Decoy Detonators are just walking off the shelves, look," said Fred, pointing at a number of weird-looking black horn-type objects that were indeed attempting to scurry out of sight. "You just drop one surreptitiously and it'll run off and make a nice loud noise out of sight, giving you a diversion if you need one."

"Cool." Bree said.

"Here," said George, catching a couple and throwing them to Bree.

"How much?" Bree asked.

"No charge." George replied. "Help yourself to anything you want."

"Really?" Bree said.

"You and Harry gave us our start-up loan, we haven't forgotten," said George sternly "Take whatever you like, and just remember to tell people where you got it, if they ask."

They led Bree into the main part of the shop.

"Have you seen our special WonderWitch products yet?" asked Fred. "Follow me."

Near the window was an array of violently pink products around which a cluster of excited girls was giggling enthusiastically.

"There you go," George said proudly. "Best range of love potions you'll find anywhere."

"Do they work?" Bree asked.

"Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question…" Fred began.

"… and the attractiveness of the girl," George finished.

Bree sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Are they legal to sell?" she asked.

"Of course." Fred answered.

"Why wouldn't they be?" George asked.

"Risk of misuse. There are people out there capable of some really, really, really, sick and twisted things if the right tools are available. Things that are easier to do when they drug their victims first." Bree explained.

"I'm pretty sure none of these girls are going to do…whatever is you're thinking of." Fred replied.

"You're faith in humanity is really touching Fred. Stupid, but touching. I love profit as much as you do, but I have to draw the line at marketing roofies." Bree stated.

"What are roofies?" Fred asked.

"It's slang for a drug called Rohypnol. It's on the list of things you don't want law enforcement to find when they search your stuff." Bree answered. Something caught her eye.

"Is that a cage full of tiny tribbles?" she asked. She was looking at a number of round balls of fluff in shades of pink and purple, all rolling around the bottom of a cage and emitting high-pitched squeaks.

"You mean the Pygmy Puffs?" said George. "Miniature puffskeins, we can't breed them fast enough."

She put a finger through the bars of the cage and watched the Pygmy Puffs crowd around it.

"They're really cute." She said.

"You want one?" George asked.

Bree thought for a moment. "Nah, Muffin would use it as a living toy… I think I'll get one for Alice though." She answered.

She picked out a purple one to give to Alice.


Alice answered the door at Percy's apartment. She let Bree, Fiona, and Ben in. Percy was face down on the couch with a bottle of fire whiskey next to him on the floor.

"What's wrong with him?" Fiona asked.

"His girlfriend broke up with him, and that made him depressed." Alice explained. "Well, more depressed than usual. I think he's been rather lonely since the whole thing with his family."

"Is that why you decided to invade his apartment?" Bree asked.

"And Mom's pregnant… With a girl." Alice answered.

"Is that a problem?" Bree inquired.

"Well, it's just, she won't need me anymore, you know?" Alice replied.

"That's ridiculous, Lisa adores you." Fiona stated from over by Percy. Bree sighed.

"What are you doing to Percy?" she questioned.

"I turned him over so he wouldn't suffocate." Fiona replied.

"And then?" Bree pushed.

"… I put lipstick on him." Fiona replied. Bree inspected Fiona's work.

"Add some blush and eye shadow, maybe a little mascara." She suggested before turning back to Alice.

"Fiona's right, just because Aunt Lisa is going to have her own baby doesn't mean she won't love you anymore." Bree stated.

"But I'm not really her daughter!" Alice protested. "I'm not even a real person."

Bree poked her.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked incredulously.

"You feel pretty real to me." Bree replied.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Alice muttered.

Bree sighed. "Whatever you started as, you're human now, and that's all that matters." She stated.

"…Thanks." Alice murmured.

"Here." Bree said, handing Alice the purple Pygmy Puff she had gotten earlier in the day.

"What's this?" Alice asked as she examined the fuzzy squeaking ball.

"A Pygmy Puff." Bree answered. "It's an extremely belated birthday present."

"Birthday present?" Alice said, confused.

"Well, you're birthday is in June, so I kind of forgot about it with the whole Umbridge thing, sorry." Bree responded.

"No, it… it's fine. This is wonderful, thanks." Alice replied.

"Come check out my work!" Fiona exclaimed. Bree and Alice went over to examine Fiona's handiwork.

"Needs a tiara." Bree said.

"And a dress." Alice stated.


"Alice." Percy said when he finally woke up hours later.

"What?" Alice replied, not looking up from her book.

"Why am I wearing a dress?" Percy asked.

"The makeup and the tiara would just look silly without it." Alice replied. Percy sighed.

"What happen while I was asleep?" he inquired.

"Bree, Ben, and Fiona came over. Fiona put the makeup on you and Ben transfigured your glasses into a tiara and you clothes into a dress." Alice explained.

Percy groped around for his wand and changed his glasses back to normal before stalking off to the bathroom.

"If it's any consolation, you make a very pretty princess!" Alice called after him.


When Harry's birthday came around Sirius threw a lavish money wasting party.

He rented out a Quidditch stadium and hired two of Britain's best teams to play and there was a pyrotechnical display at the end of the match.

"Remus still won't let me rent a dragon." Sirius complained.

"That's because it's still illegal." Remus replied.


Bree's O.W.L results had arrived by the time she got home. She opened up the letter.

Ordinary Wizarding Level Results

Pass Grades:

Outstanding (O)

Exceeds Expectations (E)

Acceptable (A)

Fail Grades:

Poor (P)

Dreadful (D)

Troll (T)

Bree Louise Smith has achieved:

Astronomy: E

Care of Magical Creatures: E

Charms: E

Defense Against the Dark Arts: O

Divination: O

Herbology: E

History of Magic: A

Potions: O

Transfiguration: E

"Well, it looks like I get to continue tormenting Snape in potions." Bree mused. "And now the Ministry is probably convinced I'm a seer... I can totally use that to screw with their heads."


Bree had decided to work at the twins' shop for the rest of the summer. Alice reported that Percy was becoming more depressed because of the breakup with his girlfriend and the isolation from his family. Bree really wanted to tell the twins, but she didn't know how to go about it, and she was unsure how they would react.

She wasn't how much she should tell them, if she told them anything. They already knew about the psychic worm and aliens and they must have guessed that the reason they were able to get materials so cheaply from Leo was because there was something illegal going on. But selling illegal and or smuggled goods wasn't as bad as murder.

So should she just tell them about Percy spying for the Third option? Should she try to recruit them? Should she tell them everything about her Aunts "business"? About Alice? Should she say nothing at all and allow everything to remain at it was, even with the gnawing guilt that she was keeping two people that were very important to her in the dark?

That last one just seemed so… Dumbledorish. But what they didn't know couldn't hurt her, couldn't undermine their whole relationship. Except that it could, once the truth got out. What to do, what to do. She just felt so conflicted.


So consider the second to last paragragh to be some questions directed at you, dear reader. I have some ideas about the outcome of each choice, but there are a couple that might end up with a "bad ending" if followed to their logical conclusion. Or you could suggest something completely original and we'll see if I like it.