Someone once suggested a crossover with Twilight. I no idea why they thought this was a good idea considering Bree's personality.


Around the world there are many legends of bloodsucking creatures that prey on humans. This is of course because of the many bloodsucking creatures that prey on humans in the world. Some legends are wrong; others are about the same creature that was misidentified giving rise to new legends.

The many vampire like creatures led to a few hunters and magi to classify them. In this classification system the term "vampire" means any creature that attacks humans in order to feed from them. Admittedly this loose definition can lead to a bit of crossover with the ghoul class, but that's a discussion for another day.

In popular culture the stereotypical vampire in an attractive former human who is adverse to sunlight. In the vampire classification system only three classes fit this stereotype, the A, B, and C classes.

A class vampires are the "original" western vampire. They have a mouthful of retractable fangs perfect for tearing out the throats of their victims. B class vampires are descended from A class vampires. Medieval sorcerers erected powerful wards to weaken dark and dangerous creatures. B class vampires prove that those wards worked. This is why you can't find A class vampires in the old world.

C class vampires have a rather complicated origin. A wizard wanted to be immortal. Yes, yes, I know, don't worry, this one is even more insane than snake face. This wizard tried to get a coven of vampire to turn him. He was rejected by them and every other coven he appealed to, so he decided to become a vampire through other means. And by that I mean magic. He was moderately successful, he got the hunger for blood and the agelessness down but missed the mark on a few other things. The wizard could not control is blood lust and was killed.

C class vampires don't know about other vampires or the magical community and believe themselves to be "true" vampires. This is because neither party want's anything to with C class vampires except to kill them.

It happened that in Washington had a vampire problem. It was assumed that they were C class because there was a, up until that point, docile coven of C class vampires in the area. Wes asked Bree to meet him there for a hunt since she was in the area.


Forks Washington was wet, rainy, and green. The surrounding area had a natural beauty that was rather appealing in its own way… if you weren't a hunter trying to find a rouge C class vampire that had moved in after the residential coven had left. It had apparently started a new coven in Seattle and Wes sent some hunters that way to take care of the infestation while Bree helped him lure the ringleader out.

"We could burn the forest down." Bree suggested as she walked with Wes.

"Fire is not to answer to all of lives problems." Wes replied.

"I know." Bree stated. "Fire is the question, yes is the answer." Wes couldn't tell if she was joking or not and decided to let it go.

"We need a plan that won't result in a natural disaster." He told Bree.

"We could set a trap and lure it in with vampire bait." Bree said.

"Vampire bait?" Wes questioned.

"Human blood." Bree replied.

"Are you talking about vampires?" someone interjected from behind them. Wes and Bree turned. They found themselves facing a, dark haired teenage girl. Bree frowned. If the girl was any paler her skin might as well have been translucent.

"No." Bree replied.

"But I heard you." The girl pressed.

"No you didn't." Bree insisted.

"Just drop it. She might have useful information." Wes said.

"So you were talking about vampires!" the girl said with a dull sort of excitement.

"No, we were talking about one vampire, the one that's been killing people in the area." Bree responded.

"I've only heard of wolves killing people." The girl answered.

"How stupid are the people in this town? Wolves don't drain a person's bodily fluids." Bree growled.

"So what do you know about vampires?" Wes asked.

The told them about how she had moved to Forks, been "romantically" stalked by a member of the local coven, fell in love with him, started dating, and was then dumped "for her own protection." There may have been something about a group of rouge vampires that tried to kill her and a fight that ended with the group's leader dead but all of that was lost to the girl's undying obsession with the C class vampire know as Edward.

"Useful information, huh?" Bree muttered. Wes elbowed her.

"Thank you miss we get the picture." He interjected to stop the girl's monolog about how perfect Edward was.

"Yeah, we have to take care of the rouge vampire now." Bree put in, trying to pull Wes away from the girl that obliviously needed some sort of mental help.

"You can't!" the girl exclaimed.

Bree groaned and stopped pulling at Wes. "Why not?" she asked in a resigned tone that said she knew the answer would probably be something completely insane.

"You can't win a fight with a vampire, they're too strong." The girl explained. Bree burst out laughing.

"We're not going to fight it, we're going to kill it by exploiting its weaknesses." She explained.

"They don't have weaknesses." The girl insisted. Bree rolled her eyes.

"Let's just go." Bree muttered, walking away.


Wes was sitting on a stump in the woods, pretending to be hurt and bleeding after Bree had used the "point me" spell to narrow down the location of the vampire. Okay, so he was bleeding but it wasn't as bad as he was pretending it was. It was an act to draw the vampire to some "easy prey" while Bree hid nearby with help from her perception filter.

Eventually the vampire, a red haired female, took the bait. Bree swung at her with machete but miss when the vampire moved at the last second. Her eyes moved wildly, flicking over Bree, but unable to look directly at her. Bree fired off a string of spells, but only a few hit their target, but that, coupled with a few shots from Wes's gun, was enough to bring the vampire to the ground. Bree rushed forward and lopped off her head with a few good whacks from the machete.

"Pretty good reaction time for a C class" Bree commented as she deactivated her perception filter. "

Wes shrugged. "Some C classes have a special ability. But I doubt that perception filter would have worked on an A class. It seems to work by effecting vision, but not the other senses." He explained.

"Good thing it wasn't an A class then." Bree replied as she picked up the vampire's head. There was no blood, just a bit of clear fluid, vampire venom. C class vampires had venom due to a misconception the wizard that created them had about the way human are turned into vampires.

Bree and Wes heard something stumbling around in the woods. It was heading in their direction, perhaps attracted to the sounds of the vampire being slain.

"I'll check it out, start building the pyre." Bree said before walking off. She quickly found the source of the noise, the girl they had talked to before.

"What are you doing here?" Bree asked, half her body hidden behind a tree. The girl whirled around.

""I'm here…" she began uncertainly. "I'm here to stop you from getting yourself killed."

"Ah… How exactly do you plan to do that?" Bree inquired blandly. "You look like you rolled down a hill covered in thorn bushes, you probably don't know how to fight, and you'd make an easy meal for any predator lurking in these woods, not just a vampire."

"I-I had to try. It was the right thing to do." The girl responded. Bree rolled her eyes.

"No, going home and staying the hell out of the way was "the right thing to do." This is just stupid." She stated.

"You can't go after it, you'll die!" the girl insisted. Bree chuckled.

"Oh this is the part I like best, completely undermining the beliefs of people I don't like." She said with a grin before stepping out from behind the tree so that she was fully visible.

"You're a little late you know." She told the girl. "Since I already hacked off the vampires head and all." She gave the head a little shake to emphasize her point.

"Now if you excuse me, I have a body to burn." She said before walking back to where she had left Wes. The girl followed her

The rest of the body was just starting to burn when Bree got back.

"Look what followed me home!" Bree exclaimed. "Can I keep her? I figure I can use her on the next full moon, you know, keep some meat between me and the werewolves."

"No." Wes replied. "Why did you take the head with you?" Bree blinked and held up the head.

"Alas poor vampire, I knew her not." She said and then chucked the head into the fire.

"That was Victoria." The girl stated.

"… Oh, one of the vampires from your little story!" Bree exclaimed. "Yeah, she was starting her own coven in Seattle so my uncle here sent some guys to deal with them. We came after the older vampire, match experience with experience you know? Well, my uncle has experience, I've got… well, that's none of your business anyway."

She sat down on a rock to watch the body burn.

"Were you serious? I mean what you said about the werewolves…" the girl trailed off.

Bree looked at her. "You mean the part where I suggest using you as a meat shield or the part where I imply that werewolves exist?" she asked, having caught on to what the girl meant.

"Both." The girl answered.

"Kind of, and yes, werewolves exist." Bree replied.

"I looked into the area before we came out here, there's a local pack that thinks they're werewolves but they're really more like a sub-species of skin walkers." Wes put in. The girl looked confused.

"He means that they can transform at will instead of being controlled by the phases of the moon." Bree explained.

The girl was silent for a moment.

"So is this what you two do?" she eventually asked. "Travel all around and kill monsters?" Bree grinned.

"No, this is what he does. I just happened to be the area and so we decided to make it a family outing. It went pretty well for my second hunt." Bree replied.

"Could have gone better." Wes interjected.

"It went better than my first hunt. No one is unconscious." Bree retorted. Wes went silent.

Line line line

The body had been burned to ash. Bree stood up and stretched.

"Well that's taken care of." She said. She turned to the girl.

"Have fun finding your way out of the woods."

She started to walk away.

"Stop." Wes ordered. "We can't just leave her out here."

Bree turned and looked back. "If you want to waste your time with someone that thinks vampires are the best thing since Superman that's fine, but I'm not in the "saving people" business. If it's not a friend, family member, or small child, I don't care." She replied.

"I thought you hated children." Wes stated.

Bree shook her head. "No, no, no. I hate being forced to babysit during family reunions. Seven and under, they freak me out, seriously. Their moods shift faster than a pregnant lady's and they have more energy than a coked up squirrel. It's not natural. Eight and up they're fun to traumatize." She explained.

"You are a horrible person." The girl stated.

"From your perspective." Bree agreed. From my perspective you're a vampire obsessed psychopath." And with that Bree left.


Bree waited for Wes inside of his pickup truck. It was an old Ford. Wes called it "Old Reliable" but everyone else called it "Frankentruck" because while the truck was a Ford through and through, not all the parts matched. The components that made up the body were all different colors and it looked as if the quarter panels weren't from the same year, and possibly not even the same model. The head lights didn't match, and neither did the taillights. The only thing consistent thing about the truck was the interior. Wes had made it as comfortable as possible for long drives.

Bree dozed off in the passenger seat. She woke up when Wes got into the driver's side and slammed the didn't look happy.

"So, how'd it go hero?" Bree asked as Wes started the truck and put her in gear.

"She kept falling down. The walk took twice as long as it should have from the amount of times I had to help her up." Wes answered.

"See?" Bree replied. "You should have just left her out there and let natural selection take its course."

"That wouldn't have right." Wes responded.

Bree shrugged. "Eh." She said.

"You turned out pretty selfish, didn't you?" Wes said.

"I'm out of selflessness. I used to all up to give you and everyone else I care about Death Eater immunity at the cost of my own safety and possibly my life." Bree replied.

Wes winced.

"And really, why would I turn out any other way?" Bree continued.

"What do you mean?" Wes asked.

"I've been taught the importance of helping family and standing by friends. Nothing in there about the rest of humanity." Bree explained.

Wes thought about for a moment. He couldn't recall anyone ever stressing the importance of "helping your fellow man" or anything similar. In fact Bree had probably learned to hate most people that weren't family or friends because of how she had been bullied before going to Hogwarts. That actually explained why she was so openly hostile to anyone she didn't like. She gave as good as she got.

Wes didn't have time to come up with a response because someone apparated into the middle of the road. Most people would swerve or hit the brakes if someone suddenly appeared in the middle of the road. Wes was not most people and the Death Eater was forced to dive out of the way. There was a thump and Bree bounced slightly in her seat. She looked in the rearview mirror.

"You only got his legs, put it in reverse!" she exclaimed.

Wes never got the chance to follow Bree's advice because a blasting curse hit the side of the truck and sent it rolling and it didn't stop until it rolled into a tree. Fortunately Frankentruck stopped right side up. Bree had a cut on her head from where she had collided with the window and was slightly dazed.

Wes was no worse for wear and acted quickly, unbuckling his seatbelt and kicking open the door. As soon as he was out he opened up a compartment behind the seat and pulled out a hunting rifle. He looked down the road and saw that the Death Eater he had run over was gone and healthy Death Eater was standing on the side of the road.

"They never travel alone." Bree muttered. She had stumbled out of the truck to stand next to Wes. She had her wand in one hand and a Glock she had pulled out of storage in the other.

"Hand over the girl and your death will painless!" the Death Eater shouted.

"You're out of your goddamn mind!" Wes yelled back, leveling his rifle.

The Death Eater fired a curse at him. It missed by a hair's breadth. Both Bree and Wes had pulled the trigger on their respective firearms the moment they saw the curse coming. Bree followed up with a bone breaking hex. Bree's aim was off because of her head injury and the blood dripping into her eyes. Wes's aim was spot on, the bullet hit the Death Eater in the heart, killing him instantly.

"Get the first aid kit and see what you can do to clean yourself up. I'll take care of this." Wes ordered. Bree nodded and went back to Frankentruck. Wes dragged the body into the nearby woods and covered it with brush. Once that was done he covered up any drag marks and blood that he found.

While this was happening, Bree had done everything she could short of stitching up the wound before she set about repairing the damage the Frankentruck had endured with reparo. She was able to fix the window that her head had smashed into and most of the damage to the body except where the truck was pressed up against a tree.

"Good work." Wes praised once he was done. "Now let me take a look at that cut."

He had Bree sit in the truck.

"It's a pretty clean cut, so it should be easy to stitch up, but you missed a couple pieces of glass." Wes stated as he pulled out aforementioned glass with a pair of tweezers.

"I'm not going to have to go to a hospital, am I?" Bree asked.

"I could stitch it up, but I don't have any painkillers, so it'll hurt." Wes replied.

"That's fine." Bree stated.

"You sure?" Wes pressed.

"I've had worse." Bree replied.

"Alright then." Wes responded. He pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels from the glove compartment. He uncapped it.

"Just a sip, it'll help with the pain." He said. Bree grabbed the bottle and took a quick swig. It burned all way down before settling in her stomach.

Wes quickly stitched up the cut. When he was done Bree pulled out her cadet cap and put it on to hide the cut.


They arrived at a rundown bar outside of Seattle to meet up with the group Wes had sent to take care of the new coven. There were three men and two women.

"Bree, you already know Chris and Olivia, these other three are Eric, Aaron, and Jessica, Chris's girlfriend." Wes stated.

Chris was a sandy blonde haired twenty-three year old that had his mother's blue eyes. He was Wes's son. Olivia, Chris's mother, had brown hair with a few visible strands of gray mixed in. Eric almost measured up to Wes's 6"2' falling just a few inches short of it. He had hazel eyes, dark hair, and a five o'clock shadow. Jessica had strawberry blonde hair, brown eyes, and a faint scar on her neck. Aaron was an African American around Wes's age with a shaved head and a large build.

Bree knew Olivia and Chris from the few times she had seen them a few times at family reunions. Chris would show up sometimes without his mother and when Olivia showed up she never stayed for very long. This was mostly because of Wes's mother trying to push "traditional values" onto them. Her husband, Wes's father, had been a hunter she hadn't seen why Wes and Olivia couldn't settle down like they had. Of course she had dementia and had forgotten that he husband had been killed by a demon, half the time she forgot he was even dead. Even after the woman had died, her lingering memory still made family reunions somewhat awkward.

"So this is the magi you've been telling us about." Aaron said in a deep voice once everyone was seated at a table in the back. It was a hunter's bar so no one had asked for Bree's ID but she would have presented her with a fake one if they had.

"I still think it was a bad idea to take her with you as your only back up against that vampire." Olivia stated.

"Oh come on, it was only a C class." Chris protested.

"Still a lot more dangerous than anything she's ever faced, this was what, her second hunt?" Olivia replied.

"Just because I've only been on two hunts doesn't mean I've never faced anything more dangerous than some C class bloodsucker, it's just that they were hunting me." Bree growled.

"Wes mentioned that, but I find it hard to believe. What would some dark lord want with a teenager?" Eric asked, looking rather unimpressed by Bree.

"He thinks I'm a seer. What aspiring megalomaniac wouldn't want to know the future so they could manipulate it?" Bree replied scathingly.

"And why would he think that?" Olivia asked.

"I know things that I shouldn't." Bree answered. "It's not quite the same as being a seer but its information he shouldn't have."

"So these "Death Eaters" they're going to keep coming after you until their leader is taken out?" Chris questioned.

"Yes." Wes answered before Bree could. "Ran into a couple of them on the way here."

"Ran over one of them." Bree muttered.

"Wes said something about you using some powerful mojo to protect your family." Jessica said.

"Yeah. Reports from back home say that it's so powerful it deflected the killing curse." Bree responded.

"So Wes and Chris could use that to protect you!" Jessica suggested somewhat excitedly.

"You're saying put them between her and the Death Eaters?" Eric asked. Jessica nodded.

"Wouldn't work." Bree interjected.

"Why not?" Aaron asked. "It seems like a good idea to me."

"Because of the nature of the deal." Bree stated. Everyone at the table except for Wes and Bree stiffened. Bree rolled her eyes.

"Did you really think I could pull off something that powerful and complicated?" she inquired.

"You… made a deal?" Chris asked slowly.

"Not the way you're thinking of. It was really more like making a transaction. I made a wish, for my friends and family to be protected from Voldemort's forces. I was told the price and I agreed to pay it, so my wish was granted." Bree answered.

"What was the price?" Aaron asked after a long moment of silence.

"Pain and safety." Bree replied.

"What does that mean?" Jessica asked.

"My safety was stripped away from and I will have to endure the pain the otherwise would have been inflicted on the people I care about." Bree answered.

Eric eyed her with a new respect.

"I may have misjudged you." He said.

"You've made it so that you're guaranteed to get hurt no matter what you do." Olivia stated. "We can't stop you from getting killed."

"How are we going to do that?" Chris asked.

"We find these "Death Eaters" before they find Bree." Olivia answered.


Olivia had Bree tell her everything she knew about Death Eaters. Bree told Olivia about what she knew of the Death Eaters' past actions, their tactics, their ideals, and their known and suspected members. Olivia wrote down everything and started planning.

That night Bree stayed in a cheap motel. She dreamt of monsters in human skin.


I used to like Twilight, but as I read through the books I started to realize how bad it was. Here are a few of the things that occurred to me.

Stephanie Meyer can't write. She seems to take the "quantity over quality" stance. He book would be a lot shorter if describe how good looking Edward is every page and her characters do not develop at all, unless you count Jacob, who becomes a pedophile after falling in love with a baby.

Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can't write 'worth a darn'.

Imprinting totally removes the woman's ability to choose who she wants to be with, especially with Quil imprinting on a toddler and Jacob imprinting on a baby. "Wife Husbandry" anyone?"

If Twilight was a fanfiction it would be as hated as "My Immortal" and Bella would be a hated Mary-Sue.

Bella was catatonic for four months after Edward broke up with her. That is not a healthy reaction and no one thought to get her therapy.

There is Twilight fanfiction that is better written than the source material. It can be hard to find, but it is there.

I know it appeals to teenage girls and they'll probably outgrow their obsession and look back on it the same we look at children's cartoons and think "I used to like that really?"